Hello folks! This is a lovely little not to say Hi! Umthis is one of those lovely little fics where Harry Potter Characters come to stayexpect random insanity andI hopesomething more
Warning: I am somewhat unstableand this story is likely to change ratings/directions/genre etc, as the mood takes meI appologise in advance. This chapter's very tame as far as I'm concerned, but it's rather wordy. This Will Not Be Slash, no matter how much I enjoy reading it, I don't feel I have the ability to write it as of yetso no matter what it may seem, there is going to be no serious (Or Sirius, for that matter) slash.
Rating: Probably only PG, PG-13 only because writing anything below that is shameful for me
Disclaimer: If you recognise it, it ain't mine. Clare Mitchell is me (I'd use my character namebut that would be highly confusingI the light of my other story which isn't posted yetNikki, Phoenix and Belladonna (Not their real names) know who they areClinkers belong to the dear people at Allens lolliesAnd my evil blue iMac, long may it rot in hell, belongsto mebut the name belongs to those demons at Macintosh.
So sit back, relax, and try awfully hard to enjoy
Chapter One: Of strange young ladies bearing Clinkers, and holes to the other side of the earth.
It had been a long hard day, and Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter and Lily Evans were practically dragging themselves along the corridor, despite the freezing cold. Not only had their teachers given them more homework than they could carry, but Snape, the bane of their existence had created his first malfunctioning potion, which he had then proceeded to tip all over Peter Pettigrew. The aforementioned potion had caused Peter to fall to pieces, literally, and the other Gryfindors had had an interesting time trying to find all of the little bits of Peter which had been scattered all over the potions lab. They were trying to get their slowly disintegrating minds around a way to pay Snape back for what, as Sirius pointed out, was probably not a malfunctioning potion at all, when the floor beneath them opened up and they began to fall very fast
They landed with a loud 'oomph'. When they came to enough to look around them, they found themselves to be in someone's bedroom. The surface they had landed on was a large bed, covered with a blue quilt depicting flying silver love hearts, which Sirius thought would have looked like misshapen Snitches had they been gold. It was a large room. The walls were a nondescript pale blue, and the skirting boards and the roof were a shocking pink. Against the wall at the foot of the bed was a jarrah writing desk littered with paper, pens, half finished sketches and battered tomes, and a door on which hung a long purple robe. A huge bookshelf ran along the wall closest to the bed, absolutely filled with books of all sorts, many more of which littered various other surfaces in the room. A bay window, hidden by a heavy blue curtain, extended out from the wall along which the head of the bed rested on. The remaining wall had a curtain covered archway, a couch the exact same colour as the roof, and a computer desk, covered with photos, at which sat, her back still turned to them, a young woman with wild brown hair
After staring in amazement at the room, indignant that they hadn't discovered such a place in Hogwarts before now, they realised that they were still lying in a pile on the bed. They began to shift, moving off each other and into more comfortable positions on the bed. Through all this, the young woman whose room they assumed they had landed in, sat motionless, not even typing, just staring at her screen thoughtfully. Unsure what to do, Remus coughed quietly, then spoke
"Umexcuse me" That got her attention, she spun round, falling off her chair in the process, and landed on one of the blue and pink beanbags which littered the floor of the room. It would have been a soft landing, had there not been a collection of strange books marring the beanbag's softness. After rescuing the books and commiserating with them over their brief discomfort and tossing them into another beanbag, itself populated by bits of sheet music, she simply turned and stared. After some time of protracted silence, she murmured
"WoahI better lay off the brightly coloured lollies" She lifted her head to the sky and called "Okay, you can return me to reality nowI promise I'll be a good girl and not eat anymore hallucinogenic lolliesespecially not Clinkers" Intrigued by this, Sirius asked
"What are Clinkers?" Forgetting that they had suddenly appeared in her bedroom she turned to them
"You haven't tried Clinkers before?" A wicked glint in her eyes made Sirius grin in anticipation, but he merely shook his head. She disappeared through the door, and out into what they assumed, at the time, to be another previously undiscovered part of Hogwarts
But when she had left, Lily turned to the others
"Did anyone notice her accent? It's a bit" Sirius was too busy wondering exactly what Clinkers would be to answer, but the other two nodded thoughtfully. Remus hopped off the bed and went over to examine the bookshelf. James was busy contemplating what pranks could be achieved with the use of this newly discovered area of the castle. Very soon, the woman returned, bearing a wooden bowl as if it held precious gems. However, when they peered inside expectantly, they, especially Sirius, were dismayed to see small, cigar shaped objects covered in what seemed to be horribly boring chocolate. But the woman's eyes still gleamed, and she shook the bowl gently, a wicked grin fixed on her face.
"Try one," she said innocently, "they're very nice." Sirius picked one up gingerly, you never could tell with candy, and lifted it to his mouth to bite.
"No, no!" she cried, "you have to guess what colour it is first. There's pink, yellow and green." Sirius shot her a perplexed look and mumbled,
"Green" She grinned
"I think it'll be pink, they're the best." He bit into it, and, sure enough, there was hard, pink, sugary stuff inside. He ate the other half, and the stood there, a quizzical expression on his face, waiting for the assumed insanity to take hold. He couldn't deny that it had been very tasty, but he was expecting a little more.
"They don't seem to be wo" he began before a strange light lit his eyes and a keening noise was ripped from his lips. It modulated into a wild laugh, followed by an insane tap dance. The woman stood there with a slight smile on her face, but the others, unused as they were to the effects Clinkers have on the already mentally unstable, looked on in horror. Sirius finished his tap dance and fell to his knees at Remus' feet screaming,
"Remus! Marry me! Please!" before collapsing to the floor in a dead faint. The young woman seemed as surprised by this as the others were, for she had turned white.
"Remus?" she gasped "RemusLupin?" When he nodded cautiously, dropping to his knees to try and revive Sirius, she turned even whiter and swayed alarmingly.
"But I" She bit her lip, seemingly uncertain what to say. Lily prompted her
"Where is this? And who are you?" The young woman nodded distractedly,
"This is Adelaide, in Australia, my name's Clare, Clare Mitchell."
"Australia!" cried the others.
"Butthat's on the other side of the world!" Continued James. Clare turned white again.
"Where are you from? Tell me who you are!" James complied
"I'm James Potter, this is Lily Evans, that's Remus Lupin and the one you fed those things to is Sirius Black. We're from England. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to be exact." With every word Clare turned paler.
"You can't be serious!"
"No," said a voice, "I am." In the midst of all the commotion, Sirius had come to, and was now leaning up looking around for the Clinkers. Now it was Clare's turn to faint, and faint she did, thankfully falling back into the beanbag she had cleared of books formerly
They took this opportunity to examine more closely various things about the place where they had found themselves. Lily wandered over to the computer, a horrible evil Blue iMac, cunningly disguised with a multitude of small photos of Clare's strange friends. She read the text sitting on the screen, and let out an involuntary gasp of horror.
"What is it?" James asked. Lily merely pointed to the screen; she was too shocked to speak. There, on the screen, was a highly apt description of exactly what they had been doing prior to their fall. It even included the fall itself, but nothing that had happened thereafter. Remus had a closer look at the young woman. Her skin, paled though it was with shock, was tanned, and her wild brown hair had red and gold streaks running through it. She was slim; her figure accented by her tight blue singlet top and long, full, yet clingy grey skirt. That was another thing that had struck them as strange when they first arrived. Although it had been deepest darkest winter when they'd left, it was hotter than any weather they'd experienced all last summer. Or any summer they could remember for that matter. Her toenails and fingernails were painted a dark purple, and she wore a thin silver chain, which made Remus keep his distance. Sirius was too busy looking for the Clinkers, which had mysteriously disappeared, to notice any externals
When Clare came to, she seemed much more ready to accept that four of the people she had previously been writing about had suddenly appeared in her bedroom. She cast an appreciative glance in Sirius' direction, before sliding back onto the chair in front of her computer with a wicked grin and a laugh akin to that which Sirius had uttered in his Clinker induced lunacy. She began to type so fast that her fingers were a blur
Phoenix O'Neil, Nikki Eglise and Belladonna Leandor were waiting in line at the Canteen at Perth College Anglican School for Girls. They were having an animated Franglaise conversation, about the morals, or lack thereof, of their archnemesises - The Lemmings. No sooner had they picked up their daily muffins, when the world began to spin, and the fell, still clutching their muffins, Nikki was pleased to note, into an abyss
Author Note: Hello again! The Clinker incident is based on my own experience, I was walking along the streets of City Beach in Perth, happily eating my first ever Clinker, Nikki at my side, when a pink haze fell before my eyes, I ran squealing down the road, flapping my arms, did some ballet, which ended with a graceful leap into a not so graceful heap on the ground, leaped up, raced back to where Nikki was standing, fell to my knees (I've still got the scars) and proposed. My insanity continued for a little way further along the road, aided by Nikki who had absentmindedly eaten her own Clinker, before I ran in to a large metal poleNever again, I vowedyeah right