Hello, everyone!
A little head's up on the story: There is a character death, profanity, and slight bashing of Kyuubi. If you are not comfortable with any of those things please do not read. You have been warned.
Papercut
Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today.
Why am I so up tight today?
Paranoia's all I got left.
In the real world, it's only dark when it's gonna rain or when it's nighttime. But in my world, it's always dark…There is never any sunlight or happiness. In the daytime, it always looks like it's gonna rain and it always does, 'because the sky is sad; so it cries... Just like I do sometimes…
And the night. It gets so dark and silent... like there's no one there… 'Cause there never is. There has never been and never will be. No one has ever been there for me, to tell me that everything is going to me all right; that there is nothing to be scared or worried about.
I don't know what stressed me first,
But how the pressure was fed.
But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head.
Ya know who I've got to thank for all of my rainy days? Kyuubi… and the Yondaime. It's all because the fourth Hokage chose me as the Kyuubi's vessel. Yeah, thanks for that one, man; I really owe ya one, buddy.
I'm the hero of the damn village and they treat me like shit. I should be treated as a hero, not just "seen as one". They should be treating me with a little respect, not with distain. All I have is a shitty little apartment, barely any damn food, and EVERYONE FUCKIN' HATES ME!!
Like a face that I hold inside,
Face that awakes when I close my eyes.
Face that I watch everything I lie.
Face that laughs every time I fall.
Every time that I say or do something wrong or make a mistake, they always have something to say. If not them, Kyuubi. Every time I close my eyes, I see that damn kitsune's face- mocking me, laughing at me! Like he's never made a goddamned mistake. Even just a little mis-fuckin'-stake. He watches my every move, no matter where I am, or who I'm with…If I'm with anyone at all…
So I know,
That it's time to sink or swim.
The face inside is hearing me,
Right underneath my skin.
He hears every little god-forsaken thing I say or think. He makes fun of me when I cry for "stupid and insignificant" reasons. I want him to go away; I wish he would go away… I pray to "God" for the Kyuubi to leave me.
I'm tempted to turn myself into the Akastuki… Maybe they can get this thing out of me. Kyuubi has ruined my life, haunting me, breathing down my neck for too damn long.
It's like I'm paranoid,
Looking over my back.
It's like a whirlwind,
Inside my head.
It's like I,
Can't stop what I'm hearing within.
It's like the face inside
Is right beneath my skin.
I always have the feeling that someone is out to get me… Ppfft! Let me rephrase that- "Everyone hates me, they all hope that I die, and they have tried to do me in before." Yay. I feel so loved… Bastards… I just wish that they could feel all the pain and torment I have lived through since I was born.
Because I'm so damn paranoid that someone's gonna do me in, I always have my guard up. Nothing can penetrate my "shell"… Only Kyuubi… What the villagers say about me doesn't faze me anymore. Only what Kyuubi says has an effect on me.
I know that I've got a face in me,
Points out all the mistakes in me.
You've got a face on the inside, too,
Your paranoia's probably worse.
I doubt that anyone in this village has ever gone through what I've had to. Maybe that damn Uchiha Sasuke…. Maybe. Ppfft! Everyone loves Sasuke. Just 'cause he's a "genius", a "child prodigy". All the girls think that he is so good-lookin'. Really! What do they see in him?! Besides that he's "handsome" and "smart". I hope he dies…
I don't know what set me off first,
But I know what I can't stand.
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter
Is I can't add up to what you can.
Ya know what I can't stand? The people of Konohagakure. Maybe if I lived in my world, they wouldn't bother at all. In my little world, nothing would bother me. And here I was thinking that it was a bad place.
Everybody has a face that they hold inside
Face that awakes when I close my eyes.
Face that watches ever time they lie
Face that laughs every time they fall.
Ya know what? I hope that all the people in Konoha go to hell, each and every one of them… If I were to train harder, maybe people would notice that I'm a good asset to the village… And they would stop trying to assassinate me!
So I know,
That it's time to sink or swim.
And the face inside is watching you, too.
Right inside your skin.
I almost drowned once in my world; it was raining again. I didn't see that the bridge was broken… I fell over the edge and I hit the water within seconds. The water engulfed me as if it were trying to suffocate me and it chilled me to the bone. I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into the black water, the air leaving my lungs in gasps… Then, just as quickly as I hit the water, I found myself lying on my bed.
I don't really understand why I didn't die…I guess it was 'cause it was only in my head… But if someone were to die in a logical way in reality, can't they die in that same manner but in an imaginary world?
The face inside is right beneath your skin.
The face inside is right beneath your skin.
The face inside is right beneath your skin.
…That face. Of all the things that deserve to go to hell, Kyuubi's on the top of the fuckin' list. That stupid son of a bitch has tortured me for twelve fuckin' years.
…That damn face. Someone needs to get that pole out of his ass. It's making him too fuckin' anal. If he becomes too troublesome, then I go to my little world…
…That goddamned face! He's the one that made me create that little place of mine. I use it to get away from all the villagers that look down their noses at me… And from Kyuubi's taunts and remarks.
The sun goes down; I feel the light betray me.
The sun goes down; I feel the light betray me.
The sun goes down; I feel the light betray me.
When the sun goes down, I don't notice all that much… It's always dark in my world. No matter what… Morning. Noon. And night. The sun is just as betraying as the moon. Neither of them was there when I needed to warm my cold, black heart… I can't see them anymore…
I barely know what they look like anymore. I do not care for them and nor have I any use for them; I have grown used to the numbing cold and the all-consuming darkness. It's because the sky is always crying, like I sometimes am, that I don't realize that my only sources of light, warmth, and happiness are never there.
…Ya know… I wish the villagers would change their hateful ways so they could see ---
A kunai to the heart.
The masked assassin removed his mask just as he was heading for the door. He stops when he reaches the doorway and turns to glance at the limp body. "Finally… After twelve god-forsaken years… He's finally dead…" Iruka mumbles under his breath.
…Those… Bastards…Why…?
"…God help us…" Iruka turns again and heads back to his apartment. As he walks, he silently prays that he, along with the rest of the villagers, was not condemned to spend an eternity in hell.
Did he really deserve this…? Iruka grimly thought. At least his hoping and wishing will not have been in vain…
Um... this is my for story up on fanfiction (hurray for me...!!) I thank anyone that takes the time out to read this .. I would greatly appreciate it if you could please submit a review (it would help my low self-esteem and my self-confidence). You may flame about Iruka if you'd like (some may do it anyway.) but I would like to hear everyone's views on the story and anything that i may have done wrong. Thank you very much. If I get at least some reviews, I may continue writing and I will take recommendations!!