From when I met her, I noticed some important things about Yukinoshita Haruno.
For one, she was a complex individual, in both a good and bad way. Her personality was… mixed, as she would seamlessly switch from well-crafted mask to mask that any normal onlooker would fall privy to any one of her enchanting personalities. You could never tell if you were talking to the real Haruno unless you truly knew her. And even then, it usually ended up a guess and check.
I don't think any of us really know the real Haruno. Maybe not even she herself knows the real Haruno.
The "teasing Onee-san" persona only stretched so far. At times, her devious, manipulative side truly shone in her actions. Faces can deceive many- but I'd assume she simply didn't believe in people truly enough to go the full extent as to mask completely everything.
It was almost as if she wanted you to find out. Like she was constantly crafting a mystery for people to solve once they looked past surface level. Like she was constantly testing to see if you were worthy of something that not even she knew. But I knew.
She tested Hachiman's worthiness of Yukinoshita. And I got in the way of that.
She tested Hayato's worthiness to be something more. And I got in the way of that.
She tested Isshiki's worthiness to be the next Yukinoshita Haruno, or better. And I got in the way of that.
And lastly, she tested my worthiness of her. And I got in the way of that.
It seems like I constantly get in the way of myself or others. I can't help it. It's just me. Everything I touch turns to dust. Floats away with the sands of time, all that jazz. Because there's always a goal. Always something I'm reaching for. I'll never reach it, but I'll keep trying.
But this time, I've finally reached it. I couldn't care less how superficial this is. I couldn't care less how this may never be what I'm truly reaching for, because you have to stop reaching at some point.
Icarus flew too close to the sun and lost his wings. A tragedy at its surface, but to me it was a warning. Sometimes, just being comfortable where you are is the best option.
Which brings me to how I got in my own way of proving my worth to Yukinoshita Haruno.
By proving my worth.
I felt her squirm delightedly as I found my lips to her neck, her soft moans a clear sign I'm doing things right. Her hands moved up and down my shirt, trying to feel something. I wonder if I feel anything, a cruel joke to myself.
Inwardly, I realized the difference between sex and just fucking- yes, they were the same thing, but sex felt more intimate. You could fuck girls all you wanted, but having sex with that special someone was different.
For sure, I had fucked girls in the past. It wasn't anything too serious- I had never involved myself fully with anyone, but I, like quite a few hormonal teenagers my age had done the dirty at least a couple of times. I even knew a girl back in America who had fucked like twenty dudes by the time she had finished up her junior year.
I mean, good for her, but damn.
What I was about to share between Haruno and I was something I had never experienced before. An almost otherworldly bond, an expression of raw feeling and emotion that couldn't be beat.
Well, when I hold things to that standard, I guess I'm a virgin, then.
My attentions moved slightly lower towards her collarbone, placing butterfly kisses as I move down. My hand swoops around her back, swiftly unclasping her bra with all the luck in the world by my side. I didn't know what I was doing, and I naively hoped she didn't, either. My hand moved to squeeze her breasts, kneading like a baker.
Yes, I just said that. Sue me.
A light giggle coming from the direction of her face makes me move up, essentially right in front of her face.
"Am I appealing enough for you, Naruto-kun?"
A snort escapes me. "If you weren't, I wouldn't be here. After all, I am Mr. Massive Ego."
She outright laughs this time, as melodic as always. Her face takes up a soft smile, a light blush dusting her cheeks.
"Take off your shirt," she asks. I comply, making it so that we are both half-naked. On even ground, some might say.
"Has anyone told you you're devilishly handsome?" Her compliment seems to resonate so much more when I hear it from her than anyone else. That might just be something else speaking, though.
"Yes, but I prefer hearing it from you." She laughs again, pressing her head into my bare chest. I stared idly at the top of her head, tempted to pat it for some reason. My hand betrays my wishes and I leave two soft pats on her head. She looks up, amused. I give her a grin back, and before she says anything I move in to kiss her again.
Her lips are soft, I note to myself for the umpteenth time that day. It's something I could note to myself over and over again and still never get bored of. I decide to take the role of the aggressor and slip my tongue into her mouth, a pleasant noise coming from her as I do that. My arms wrap around her, bringing her closer. Her tongue seeks to battle me- I do so willingly, and we clash with passionate fury.
I feel tempted to quote Gladiator abruptly, but I keep the "Are you not entertained" on the tip of my tongue, which was currently in her mouth.
Eventually we move away- both of us lightly panting while we look each other in the eyes. I can feel a trail of saliva connecting us together. She keeps her rare soul-piercing stare into my eyes- I feel her intensity, that magnanimous presence that she keeps radiating off of her, intentional or not making me feel entranced even further than I already was. Her rose-tinted eyes speak so many languages it would make Rosetta Stone look like child's play. I wonder what she's thinking- while her eyes portray many things, she's continually harder and harder to read, even as I get to know her further.
"Are you thinking of something, Naruto-kun?" Her words are emphasized by a face of passive curiosity.
"I'm just admiring the view," I reply as smooth as possible. Her prior blush darkens ever so slightly- at least she was slightly readable that time.
"Ah, the pleasures of a simpler mind than I." Her tease doesn't faze me- it's simply yet another defense mechanism of Yukinoshita Haruno. She notices my lack of a reaction and frowns slightly.
"Ara, Naruto-kun. Are you, by chance, not in the mood right now?" I'm torn between whether this is an honest question or just another one of her teases. Maybe it is real this time. A voice in my head utters its complaint that I'm looking into this too much. But I can't shake this feeling I have.
"No, it's just- It's just that-" I'm debating on being truly open with her this time. I don't know why I can't trust her, but I don't. I take a deep breath, and exhale. It does little to calm me down, but she takes upon a look of concern towards me.
"Sometimes, I can't see past this veil of doubt that I've shadowed across myself- and you."
"What do you mean?" She's still concerned, but her voice takes upon some rather justified confusion.
"I just tend to doubt what I think that you think. Every time I'm around you- it's always a different persona, something that's not really you. I don't like that. When you ask me things, I doubt myself on whether it's a real question or not. When you talk to me, constantly switching from mask to mask- I wonder if you care for me the way you say you do."
I know what I said was heavy, but for my sake I'm glad it's off my chest. Her face is shocked for a bit- but I'm all of a sudden tackled onto the couch behind us, with her straddling my lap, hair all up in my face.
She looks up at me with an empty smile, a dead look in her eye. I get the feeling she doesn't know what to say to that, so I continue speaking against my better judgement.
"I'm not acting like you're this one hundred percent fake person. Because you aren't. No matter what mask you want to take up around people you keep that same energy that draws people to you naturally. But when you're around me, can't it be different? Can't I see the real Haruno? Why can't I see what I want to instead of what you want me to see you as?"
"Because I don't know who the real me is!" she screams out, throwing her head back with more raw emotion than I ever saw her capable of. I don't think I've ever heard her scream or yell at anything, but I guess now's a better time than ever. She looks back down at me and I look back up at a massively conflicted and frustrated person finally letting everything out.
"I wish I knew what I wanted, but I'm supposed to keep this high and mighty air to me- then I'm supposed to play the big sister to Yukino-chan and the rest- and I don't want to do all of that anymore. I don't want to have to be all the people I'm not. But if I don't, then who am I? I'm not me if I'm not being all these people wrapped into one perfect bundle." She smiles again, something I'm very glad to see after all this. "But you, you didn't see me like that. You saw me for who I was, not what I wanted to be. No one else has before."
She wraps her arms around me and brings our foreheads to touch, and for a bit we stay in silence like this.
Sometimes, the times like these are the most enjoyable ones.
Apologies for lack of context to some parts of this. I'm planning on starting to release what I've been really working on sometime this year. I don't want to leave you guys with much- but I liked this scene enough to send it out. It does reveal some things about the actual story that I'm working for- but I think it doesn't reveal too much.
If you guys like this (which I'm hoping you did) please feel free to leave a review and favorite. I'm definitely looking for a beta, so if you're interested in that please PM me. I thrive off of criticism, so don't feel bothered to hold back on that.
Thank you for reading this. Stay tuned in for more!