Fiction: Fallout 4

Summary: Though she has enjoyed her few days away from the Brotherhood, it is time for Ashtyn to leave her newly created family and return to the front lines.

Category: Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not lay claim to any of the following work. While the writings themselves are my own, my character is created fully by myself, the other characters and story elements I do not own. I also do not own any of the Fallout 4 elements that are in play. Full credit goes to where it is due. Thank you. Thanks to Bethesda.

-oOo-

Two days.

Two days had gone by since Maxson gave his speech, two days since we all decided to rile against him… and two days of pure bliss as I lounged around the Taffy Boathouse with Danse and Shaun. If I closed my eyes real hard and clicked my heels together three times, I could almost, just almost, pretend that everything was sunshine and rainbows. The dream was right there, gawking at me with a pointing finger and mocking laugh as reality came looming around the corner once more reminding me that every hardship up until this point had merely been the beginning.

Oh, how cliché of me.

But yet, while the Institute and its lackeys were no more, we had an arguably bigger threat rearing its ugly head, snarling teeth and all. Okay, maybe I was getting a little too dramatic but I couldn't help it. Not really. Not anymore. I found during my time out here that it was better to find the silver lining and poke jokes at everything rather than become depressed by the facts. If only Danse could play along for once.

To be fair, I couldn't blame him. The way his brows creased, his lips tightened into a thin line, and his jaw clenched whenever we mentioned the Brotherhood… This couldn't be easy on him, no matter how much he tried to shrug it off. We fully intended to overthrow the man he had looked up to for decades, the man who he had once considered his closest friend. If I put myself in his shoes… A shiver fled up my spine… I don't know if I would be able to stay as strong.

But we didn't have a choice. Maxson was out of control, power had corrupted him absolutely. Whatever righteous ideals he had once coveted so deeply were nothing but fairy tales. You couldn't parade around a mirage of peace while slaughtered every non-human just because they didn't look like you. How very Hitler.

The very thought made my stomach twist, my gaze flicking towards Shaun. His strawberry blonde curls fluttered in the light breeze as he leaned over the dock, smile brightening his face, tiny fingers clasped around the fishing pole. Danse stood beside him, gesturing with his hand towards the water.

No… I couldn't stand by and do nothing when Arthur fully intended to rip my family apart. Not when I had just managed to get us together.

Not after everything that has happened to me, to us.

The plan was going to work. It had to. We all had our roles to play… Piper was going to find people in Diamond City, Nick would recruit rogue synths, Hancock had plans to round up folks in Goodneighbor who would pledge for our cause, and MacCready apparently had a few friends tucked away for a rainy day that he just had to go and find. Garvey agreed to side with us and was already reinforcing the training the Brotherhood had provided his men and women.

And me? Well, I had to play the role of the good Sentinel and return to the Prydwen.

Right back into the nest of racist, big headed vipers.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Swell.

"Mom!" Shaun shouted, pivoting towards me before jogging in my direction. A fish dangled from the end of his lure, bobbing back and forth with every step he took. "Look what I caught!" His footing was still clumsy; he wasn't used to the jagged, crumbled earth, not after years of life in a lab. But he was learning, and fast. And his continuous drive to experience everything was touching, it made me feel a little better. But only a little.

I smirked, propping my elbows onto my knees, not leaving my perched position from the back porch. "Wow, pretty big."

He came to a standstill a few feet from me, grinning ear to ear. "Yeah, and it has two heads!"

Wait… what?

Sure enough, as Shaun turned the, what I assumed to be a trout, on the line, four sets of eyes stared at me, glassy in appearance. "Oh… Uh, well, good job." Welcome to the Commonwealth, where even the water life has mutated in some way or another.

"He is really getting the hang of it," Danse commented, taking a seat next to me.

I arched a brow at him. "You never told me you knew how to fish."

"I like to keep you on your toes."

I rolled my eyes. "You? Unpredictable? Who are you?" my tone was joking as I leaned into him.

He scowled but I could see amusement dance in his irises. He may not be used to this type of life, but I knew that part of him liked it. Turning his attention to Shaun he said, "Why don't you go put it in the tank? We can cook it up for lunch before your mom's ride gets here."

Shaun nodded in agreement before trotting towards the shed, disappearing behind the opened wooden door.

I watched him go, felt my heart squeeze in panic. My breath was shaky when I exhaled. It had only been two days… and it wasn't enough… it would never be enough to bridge the ten years I had missed. And I couldn't stand the idea of being apart from him.

I closed my eyes, engraining to memory the way he looked when he slept, hairy messy and face relaxed. The way he ate, too quick but only because he clearly enjoyed every bite. The way he ran alongside Danse as he checked the perimeter every morning, wanting to do nothing more than be just like the once Paladin. The way he peppered Danse and I with questions in the afternoon when it was too hot to go outside, his curiosity about the Commonwealth and how it had once been coming to life… The way he hugged me, feeling so fragile and small in my arms, but oh so real and oh so mine. The way he said he loved me with all his heart.

God, I couldn't do this.

When the hell had I become so soft?

I felt Danse's hand on my shoulder, finger tips caressing across my back as he pulled me close to him. "I'll keep him safe." He spoke with such conviction, such reassurance. But I never doubted him for a second. If Danse was good at anything, it was stubbornly doing whatever he put his mind to. I guess we had that in common.

"I know, I'm not worried about that. I just…"

"Don't want to leave?"

I nodded weakly, pressing my forehead against his neck. "I only got him back a few days ago. Can't I wait a little longer?"

"And risk Maxson sending someone out here to find you?" Danse sighed. "Listen, I would love for you to stay, trust me. But we both know that there are too many threats involved with that idea. I could be found out… or worse, Shaun. We can't play with fire right now."

My focus found Shaun again as he bounced through the field besides the shed, Dogmeat lopping along behind him with his tail wagging and ears pointed forward. If the Brotherhood found out Shaun was a synth… No… That could never happen.

"As always, you're right. Why do you have to be so fucking logical all the time?"

His chest rumbled with a quiet chuckle. "One of us has to be."

I snorted. "Are you implying something, sir?"

"Oh? My dear lady, never."

It was quiet for a moment as we watched Shaun, listening to his childish laughter as he played with Dogmeat in the grass. The heat was already climbing, scorching the land and stealing my breath, but he didn't seem to mind. I wished I could bring him and Danse back with me, travel backwards in time to a world that wasn't plagued with danger, to a world that wouldn't force them to live in constant secrecy. Before the bombs, before all of this. I wished I could take him to school, I wished my only concern was whether or not I had to compete with other mothers. I wished for so much.

But, because fate was a giant fuckwad that liked to stomp on my hopes and dreams… here we were.

And here we would stay.

-oOo-

"They are almost here." Danse called from the bottom of the stairs. Already I could just make out the sound of the vertibird propeller whirling away in the distance. Each beat of the wings made my gut lurch, my breath quicken.

It wasn't enough time.

But it was coming to an end and I wasn't going to be able to stop it. Please, I may be bad ass but I didn't have any superpowers. Certainly they would have manifested by now if I did have them. I had had enough close calls and near deaths for three life times let alone my own.

I zipped my pack up and hoisted it onto my shoulders. "Okay, pep talk time," I muttered to myself, catching my reflection in the mirror. My hair was growing back, long enough to tuck into a bun at the nape of my neck. My tan was darker, eyes brighter. I was healing but the scar that marred the ride side of my face was there to stay.

I liked to think it gave me a hardened look. That's right, optimism, I was trying it out for flavor.

"You, Ashtyn, are a legit awesome mother fucker. You are gonna be gone for a week or two and then come back. That's it. Piece of cake. Easy peasy. No sweat. Chin up and get your shit done. We did it before, and we can do it again. Okay? Okay. Good talk. Over and out." But the woman looking back at me didn't look too convinced. 'A' for effort though, right?

Dogmeat nudged his head against my thigh, whining as he peered up from his position. "Yeah, you don't wanna come with, big guy. Trust me on this, the Prydwen and you would not get along. Whatsoever. Definitely not. No. Danse is right, boots on the ground is way better than that hunk of metal. Besides, it's super boring. No butterflies to chase up there."

He sniffed, head tilted to the side. "Don't look at me like that. Besides, you gotta be down here to man the home front and all that shit. Danse may be a big meat head but you have to have his six, got it?"

Dogmeat replied with a happy yip as I knelt down to him, his tongue finding my cheek. "You're such a good boy. You keep an eye on Shaun. You protect him no matter what, you hear me?"

Another cheerful bark. I still wasn't sure if he actually understood me or not… but I was going to pretend he did, it made me feel better. Marginally. And I could take every itty bitty piece of 'better' I could get right now.

I stood and brushed the dust off of my cargo pants. "Alrighty, let's get this over with."

Taking to the steps, I descended onto the first floor where Shaun and Danse were waiting. "They landed just down the road a bit. Looks like Clarke and Rhys are here to take you back."

"No Haylen?" I couldn't help the pout that formed on my lips. I had been hoping my favorite Scribe would tag along for the ride… but she must have been busy. "Fingers crossed Rhys has dislodged that bur up his arse," I added quietly, giving Danse a pointed look.

He grimaced. "I doubt it. Try not to make any cootie jokes on the flight back."

"No promises," I quipped.

"What are cooties?" Shaun asked.

I chuckled, dipping down to his level. "It's what you get from boys like Rhys. But don't worry, buddy, you don't have any. I would know. I have a sixth sense for that stuff since I'm your mom, and you're clear." I gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up for emphasis, forcing a warm and loving smile onto my face. That's right, plaster that sucker on there. Be happy, try to be, for him. Don't crack. Don't shed a single fucking tear, keep it together. Be an adult. An adultier adult. Be the most adultiest adult in the whole damn Wasteland.

Shaun exhaled with relief, clearly more concerned about his possible cootie situation. "That's good," he commented. His eyes traveled to the door. "So, you going to be gone long?"

"Not at all. I'll be back before you know it."

"And when will that be?"

I bit my bottom lip gingerly, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "A few weeks. But I'll bring you back some stuff so you can make that gun you and Danse have been talking about. Sound like a deal?" I could hear my voice falter, catch in my throat. Shit. Together. Sentinel. Game face.

His expression lit up. "That would be the awesome! You're the best, mom!" his arms snaked around my neck as he hugged me, lips clumsily planting against my temple for a sloppy kiss. That's it, baby boy, you're so brave.

But his shoulders trembled once his face was buried against my shoulder. His breath shook as it wisped against my skin. His fingers dug into my skin, clasping the fabric of my gray t-shirt in fistfuls. "I don't want you to go," he whispered.

"I'm sorry, honey," I replied quietly, pulling him closer against me, squeezing my eyes shut. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not fair."

"It isn't. But I'm going to make it right," I swore. My voice was thick with emotion, tears blurred my vision when I opened my eyes. I dragged my fingers across my face. Stop. Don't do this. Be strong for him. He needs that right now. "I'm going to make this world safe for you, no matter what."

When he pulled away, his cheeks were damp with moisture, eyes puffy and red. "But what if something happens to you?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "I'm going to be peachy keen."

"But, at the Institute-"

"That was different. We didn't know everything when we went in there. Now we do. Thanks to you. But, hey, you make sure you keep Danse safe while I'm gone, okay? Don't let him do anything too silly." I ruffled his hair, skimming my thumb along his cheek to catch his tears. "I love you."

"I love you too, mom."

Danse's arms found me when I stood, crashing me to his chest. I felt his heart slam against his rib cage, heavy and erratic, uncertain and overwhelmed with worry. His fingers curled into my back, lips finding my own to deliver a frantic kiss, as if I was an oasis and he was the desert, as if it was the last one he was ever going to give me. "Come back to me," he breathed, pressing his forehead against mine. "That is a direct order, and you are not allowed to disobey it." His voice was barely audible but I heard it. I heard every detailed facet of it, his words filled to bursting with fear, with deep seated concern. At one time his opinion never mattered to me… and now it meant the world. Funny how a handful of months could change everything… how he could become so fucking important to me, how I could love him so much.

"I will."

"Don't make me come find you again, please. I don't… I can't go through that again… Please."

"I won't."

"Thank you." He inhaled slowly, savoring our final few seconds together… and then his grip released me, left me craving his warmth and comfort, his smell of gun powder and metal, his protective embrace, his smile that was reserved only for me.

Fuck, I sounded like a Hallmark card. What was this man doing to me?

"Okay. I'm heading out. Don't blow up the house while I'm gone."

Danse scowled. "That's something you would do, not us." Thank you, for playing along. I needed that.

"Oh, you wound me," I joked, backing up to the door. "Bye boys, I love you both."

"Bye mom!" Shaun's voice quivered, his valiant facade crumbling around the edges.

Danse waved, hands clasping around Shaun's shoulders and giving him a gentle squeeze, being the rock that would ground my little boy.

Then I turned from them and exited my home, left my family.

And started my adventure anew.

A/N – So, welcome back ladies and gents. This is roughly the size the chapters for this new arc will be (around 5-6 pages, around 2k to 3k words). I found I can update weekly like this and keep the story rolling. It's easier for me to write smaller chunks than one big one (given my shit crazy work schedule and family life). I hoped you enjoyed this, and thank you for sticking around. Seriously, you guys are amazing.