DISCLAIMER: Little Women and the characters therein belong to Louisa May Alcott.
A/N: Please forgive any spelling/grammatical errors you may find. It's late, and I wanted to put this up before going to bed.
Amy Curtis Laurence opened her pale blue eyes and regarded the beautiful molded ceiling. Few could boast of the same blessings in her possession. The exquisitely tailored gowns. The luxurious carriages. The priceless jewelry. The gorgeous townhouse in Paris' Saint Germain des Pres, which she artistically decorated herself. Her days were filled with walking, shopping, sketching and running the household. It was quite the life she fancied for herself all those years ago. She thought back to when she was a child to the simple life she shared with Papa, Marmee and her sisters. It seemed like a lifetime ago!
Amy loved and cherished each of her sisters. With Meg, she sought counsel: the elder sister's advice was always gently given and suited Amy perfectly. Beth's patience and goodness was always something Amy tried to emulate. Jo's antics were always great for a laugh.
It was with Jo, however, that a sibling rivalry was cultivated. Where Jo was tall, boyish and brash, Amy was petite, ladylike and refined. As children, their rivalry was punctuated with outbursts and clashes. As they matured into adulthood, the stark contrast in personalities alone pitted the sisters against each other in various situations. On the day of the social calls, Amy inwardly cringed with embarrassment at Jo's boorish behavior, however filled with self satisfaction that she had made the favorable impression over her sister. It was because of Amy's deportment that Aunt March ultimately selected her as a companion for the European tour, despite the fact that Aunt had told Jo she would be her companion. Amy may have received the news with composure, but she silently exalted, especially upon seeing Jo's passionate disappointment.
Amy turned her head and regarded her husband slumbering beside her. Theodore "Laurie" Laurence, the March sisters' next-door neighbor and childhood friend. Not only tall, handsome and rich, but charming and well-bred, Amy considered him an ideal suitor. She always envied the intimacy Jo and Laurie shared. Their bond was closer than twins'. The two could just exchange one look, yet convey volumes to each other alone. As a child, she lashed out in her jealousy. She burned Jo's beloved book of stories in retaliation of their excluding her from an outing to the theatre. As a young lady, Amy wished Laurie would gaze at her with the same smoldering intensity he gazed at her sister. Jo slowly became more conscious of Laurie's feelings, and the passion between the two of them frightened her. Jo rebuffed him again and again, yet her rejections had the opposite effect. Laurie was more determined to win her over. It exasperated Amy that Laurie would waste so much energy on an ungrateful recipient.
Yet all that determination proved fruitless. Heartbroken and bitter, Laurie fled to Europe to escape. When Amy encountered him there, he was a shadow of the jovial young man she knew. Amy had a budding romance with Fred Vaughn at the time, but saw the opportunity of finally winning Laurie's heart away from Jo. Amy primly disapproved of the indolent lifestyle Laurie had adopted, and hoped her influence would restore him. When he solemnly proposed on the lake, Amy couldn't have dreamed of a more romantic proposal. Amy knew that despite Laurie looking at her with growing affection, those dark eyes were searching for some piece of Jo in Amy's countenance. Amy firmly pushed that troubling thought aside. Here was Laurie - her sister's best friend and confidante - and he was proposing to her. It seemed to be the final triumph in her lifelong rivalry with her sister. First Aunt March's favor, now Laurie's.
In the predawn quiet, as sleep dissipates, Amy can't help but feel that the loser is herself. For behind the genuine fondness in Laurie's eyes, there is a continued longing for Jo. Amy was a substitute, a consolation prize. Laurie had made that clear when he sharply rebuked her for using Jo's pet name for him that one time. His relationship with Amy was nothing more than a bridge to the unattainable Jo.
Amy's gaze fell on the ornate writing desk, and her eyes filled with tears as she spied the opened letter. Written in Jo's familiar frenetic hand was the tragic news of Beth's passing. Laurie had read the missive first. Amy chose to ignore the eagerness in Laurie's face when he saw Jo's handwriting on the envelope. She rallied against the stab of bitterness as Laurie's eyes seemed to devour her sister's words. How his expression changed when Jo's message finally sank in! Laurie wept like a broken man over the loss of Beth, for she was dear to him as a sister could be. Amy knew Laurie was wild to leave on the first ship back to America - to comfort the family that took him in when he was a lonely adolescent. To comfort the woman who is taking the loss of Beth particularly hard.
But Laurie couldn't fly off. His strong sense of duty as a husband and overall gallantry pins him to Amy's side. Amy sighed quietly as she interlaced her fingers and settled them on her slowly swelling belly. Although this child is theirs, he could never be hers. In this particular rivalry for Laurie's heart, Jo was the clear winner. As her body starts to fill with life, Amy's heart will always be empty.