Summary: Sam and Peter take their new(ish) children (that are also Peter's clones, don't ask) to their monthly check up. It goes surprisingly well, all things considered (they only destroy $800 of equipment this time).
Notes: ((idk if it is a white people thing or a southern thing or maybe a southern white people thing, but when I was causing trouble as a kid my honky grandparents and parents always said I was raising Cain and I ought to stop raising Cain, I uh, just figured that might have been a thing in Pete's family.
They haven't settled on a name for Kaine yet, and yes, there was, at some point in the past, a third clone, but I didn't wanna write any angst. So. Oh and Sam and Peter are in their early twenties and were living together before they adopted Peter's clones.
Have this thing.))
Super Dads: Checkup
"Right this way Peter, Sam, good to see you again," Doctor Connors said leading them back to the exam room. Smiling brightly at the baby Parkers he added, "and it is a real pleasure to see you two little spiders, too."
May clung to Peter with her spider powers and stared back at Doctor Connors with wide eyes. Looking up at Peter, she tucked her face against his chest.
"Hey, it's OK sweet pea, daddy's here. You remember Doc Connors, don't you?" Peter cooed, stroking her back soothingly.
The baby boy sticking to Sam complained loudly and snuggled closer, glaring at the world in general before resuming chewing on his wrist.
"Hey, nene, it's gonna be OK. It's just Doc Connors, he's gonna do a check up and make sure everything is going alright," Sam said lightly, rubbing his thumb across baby Parker's less slobbery fist.
"I know you settled on May for our big girl, but did you decide on a name for our little man?" Doctor Connors asked.
"Well, not really, no," Peter said, embarrassed.
"He seems to like Cain," Sam said at the same time. Baby Parker gurgled and looked up at Sam.
"Oh my gosh, Sam! That was one time I said that," Peter said, flushing in further embarrassment.
Baby Parker cooed happily at Peter's embarrassment. Peter attempted to glower back at his tiny, grumpy baby, but his glare only made his son giggle.
"Well, he does seem to respond to it, but there's really no rush. Many cultures don't name their babies until their first birthday, or later, and they turn out just fine," Doc Connors said consolingly.
Sam stepped up to the custom SI med scanner, baby Parker still sticking to his chest. It whirred into life and began scanning.
"I'm glad to see how he's growing, he's much more responsive and alert now," Connors said with satisfaction, Sam and Peter sharing tired smiles. Then Doctor Connors gestured to the baby's determined wrist chewing, "Has he been doing that often?"
Sam nodded, while Peter made a thoughtful sound. May watched the med scanner pass over Sam and her little brother intently.
"Yeah, within the past two weeks he's started really chewing at both wrists," Sam said.
"I think it started when his weight picked up," Peter said.
Doctor Connors nodded as he tapped at the Starkpad in his lap. May turned her gaze from the finished med scanner to Doctor Connor's missing arm, staring curiously.
"Well, the scanner is picking up an anomaly in his wrists that wasn't there last month. It could be that with proper nutrition his unique genetics are able to express themselves," Doctor Connor said thoughtfully as he inspected the scans of the baby's wrists. He shook his head.
"He's just too small for the scanner to make out that much. Here, Sam, let me check his wrists," Connors said as he sat his Starkpad on the nearby counter, stocked with standard doctor's office medical supplies and some children's boardbooks. May eyed the Starkpad and looked up at Peter. Peter was watching Connors attempt to palpate his son's wrists.
It was not going well. Even six month old baby spider folk were strong, and without the Nova Force Sam really couldn't hold him still. Peter kissed the top of May's head and sat her down in the chair next to the desk.
"He's pretty feisty," Peter said with a nervous laugh, as he gently grabbed his little wrists and held them still. Baby Parker screamed his displeasure and began thrashing. Sam grunted as his tiny, powerful kicks landed on his stomach.
"Hey, nene, I know, you're mad! I'd be mad, too!" Sam said, "Just gotta feel your wrists then we'll be all done."
Red faced and teary eyed, baby Parker grabbed hold of Doctor Connors' finger. Connors jumped back with a muffled curse and turned to the sink, hastily running his finger under the water.
Peter let go in surprise. Baby Parker pulled his hands back and crawled up Sam's chest to snuggle firmly under his chin, sniffling and glowering at his dad.
"Aww, little guy, papá is here," Sam soothed, reaching up to rub circles on his back.
"What happened, Doc, is everything OK?" Peter asked, hovering anxiously nearby.
"Ah, everything is fine, Peter, it was just surprising is all," Connors said, inspecting the tiny, red hand print on his finger. Peter grabbed his hand and inspected it.
"Oh my gosh is that a chemical burn?!" Peter said, then dropping the doctor's hand he spun around to Sam, "Are you ok? Did you get burned? Sam, I need to know!"
In full assessment mode, Peter started running his hands across Sam's chest.
"Dude, I'm fine. No burns. Chillax," Sam said in annoyance, stepping back with a huff.
"Da pa ga," baby Parker complained.
"It's mostly superficial," Connors said, reaching for his Starkpad, "I'll need to write this down…"
His Starkpad was not where he'd left it.
"Aw, chiquita, not the Starkpad, too" Sam said as he noticed May hiding under the chairs, the electronic guts of the Starkpad strewn about in a relatively neat and orderly manner between the popped open front screen and back shell.
Peter whirled around and reached for May. She stuck her bottom to the floor and held stubbornly onto the chipset in her hands. Maneuvering around the baby still cuddled (and stuck) under his chin, Sam picked up the chair she was hiding under with a grunt and set it aside.
"May, baby, sweet pea, precious girl, honey bunches," Peter cajoled, "Please let go of the very expensive thing and come to daddy."
"Mía," May said. Sam reached down and tickled at her knuckles.
"C'mon, niña, I know it's really pretty, but please put it back?" Sam asked sweetly, crouching down in front of her.
"No. Mía," May said. Peter made noises of extreme distress as she remained stuck to the floor. Baby Parker giggled.
"May, little girl, at least let daddy pick you up," Sam tried. May did not immediately respond.
Peter fell over with a thump as she unstuck herself from the floor, expensive electronic components flying everywhere. May and her little brother both giggled.
Doctor Connors sighed, "I'll be right back, please don't break the med-scanner."
Peter looked up at Sam with a thousand yard stare. Sam rolled his eyes.
"Stop being so dramatic, Web Head."
"Saaaaaaaaammmmm," Peter whined. May clapped, breaking the chipset into pieces. She stared at the broken bits still in her hands in confusion. Peter sighed.
"You broke it, sweet pea," Peter said, standing up and shifting her to his hip, brushing the silicon shards from his chest. Sticking to him with her legs and bottom, she held the broken pieces up to Peter's face.
"Boke, boke," she said seriously. Peter and Sam nodded.
"Yes, sweetness, it's broken," Peter said.
"That's right, chiquita, it's broke. Está roto," Sam agreed.
"Boke odo," May said, looking over at Sam and holding out the pieces to him. Sam held out his hand and she dropped them into it.
'All done' she signed, then unstuck herself from Peter. Peter caught her before she dropped too far.
"Hey, little arachnid! Where do you think you're scampering off to?" Peter said raising her up above his head playfully.
May stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry as her escape attempt was foiled. Sam shook his head and started picking up the broken tablet from the ground as Peter settled May on his other side.
Doctor Connors came back in, finger bandaged and fresh Starkpad loaded with the two spider clones med files.
"Thank you, Sam," Doctor Connors said with a smile, "Don't worry about breaking the 'pad, SHIELD will take care of it, if Stark doesn't. It's supposed to be indestructible."
Peter and Sam shared a laugh.
"Nothing is indestructible to spider babies," Peter said, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand. Doctor Connors laughed with them.
"Apparently not," he said, then nodded his head towards the med-scanner, "Now, if someone could stand with our little scientist for her turn, please?"
Peter stepped onto the scanner with May on his hip, and it began scanning. May reached out cautiously to the lights passing over her and her dad.
Peter pointed up at the sensors and started describing, in rather a lot of detail, what was happening. Sam rolled his eyes and shifted the baby to his shoulder.
"Your dad's a nerd, nene," Sam stage whispered.
"Paaa, papapapa, dadada, nnnnnnnnah."
Peter was not amused.
"We can hear that, you know," Peter said with a huff.
"Nnnnnnah!"
"That's right, nene, nerd," Sam agreed.
Doctor Connors hummed thoughtfully as he reviewed the scanner's results.
"Well, everything appears in line with May. Her height, weight and head circumference are steadying out now. I don't see any anomalies in her wrists, which is in line with what we think was done with her creation," Connors said, "About how many words would you say she knows now?"
"Uh, oh, at least fifteen that she can sort of say," Sam said thoughtfully. Peter stepped back over to Sam and the baby.
"Does sign language count for words? Because she knows at least four signs," Peter added. Doctor Connors made a note and hummed thoughtfully.
"That is a bit much for a thirteen month old, but nothing to be worried about, really," Connors said, "It's certainly much better than how we found her, amazing what plenty of food and love will do, eh?"
Sam and Peter shared proud smiles as they cuddled their respective spider babies close. Peter leaned over to press kisses to Sam and his son.
With a pleased squeal baby Parker waved his wrist around and shot a glob of silk at his dad's face. Sam and May laughed as Peter dodged onto the wall. May clapping her hands in delight.
"So that's what that anomaly was," Doctor Connors said, making a note.
((nene is something like baby/baby boy in Spanish, chiquita is something roughly like little girl in Spanish, mía is mine, niña is baby girl. Also, if you didn't know, babies can sign well before they can vocalize.))