Alright, I feel stupid and shameful for posting a NEW muti-chapter story when I already have several up that I'm working on, but - but... the ideas just come at me like wild fire! And once I have one in my head, I can't focus on writing my other current stories until I get the new stuff out of me. I've actually had this sitting on my computer for about 2 weeks, and I was refusing to post it cuz I didn't want to post something new until something old was finished, buuuut... I don't want to just sit on this...

Warnings: Will be mature. Iruka's personality is much more disturbing than usual. Evil, dirty things happen... Basically, it's kinda dark and disturbing. Will still be KakashixIruka though.

I will also add a reader warning that this story might be updated a little slowly since I am still prioritizing other fics over this since they did come into this world first...

Disclaimer: I ownz nothing but the plot.

Kakashi Hatake was a genius. Everybody knew that. It was plastered across his files and widely used as a way to describe him: Kakashi, the genius copy-ninja. It was just who he was. And everyone accepted it. It would have been foolish not to – especially if you were an enemy. Everyone spoke in hushed tones about the absolutely miraculous things that the prodigy could pull off, with or without his Sharingan. Ninja counted themselves lucky to be paired on the same team with him, and civilians counted themselves lucky just to be passed on the streets by the powerful celebrity who kept their village safe while they slept. Women giggled behind their hands while they spoke of how handsome he was (even with that silly mask on), and everyone was in agreement that the silver-haired man was elite in every way. He was a superstar.

Iruka Umino, on the other hand, was quite ordinary. Everybody knew that too. He was a simple chuunin with relatively plain features, and nobody ever spoke of him with extraordinary descriptions. The only remarkable thing he had ever really managed to do was pull his grades up from the bottom of the class to eventually become a teacher at the same academy he had nearly failed from. That, and he somehow managed to feed Naruto without going broke – a magic trick in and of itself. He had a bit of a temper sometimes, but it was easily extinguished. Other than that, no one thought twice about him. He was a friendly smile when tired ninja returned from a mission, or the instructor of a son or daughter, who most only saw during mandatory parent-teacher conferences. Nothing more… nothing less.

These two ninja, being so different as they were, would normally never have ended up in the same places too often. The jounin had, of course, been made aware of the teacher's existence once he became the instructor for his previous students, and he had seen him in the mission room here and there after he quit ANBU and started taking lesser ranked missions. But after his three little genin set off to follow their respective sannin, the tan man had fallen off his radar for the most part. Kakashi had no children in the academy (he had no children, period), and most of his missions after his team departed and things started brewing with Akatsuki were high-ranked ones given to him directly from the hokage.

So it was a bit surprising for Kakashi when he crossed paths with the teacher twice in one day under far different circumstances than he normally did. The first time was in the Hokage's office. Tsunade had called him in to brief him on his next mission. The son of the daimyo of Grass Country had just gotten engaged to the daughter of the Mizukage. Leaf wasn't extraordinarily happy about the match-up, seeing as Grass was an ally and Mist decidedly wasn't. The elders were concerned that such a marriage would undermine the truce between Grass and Leaf, and might cause Grass and Mist to gang up on them, starting a war. Especially since they were convinced that the entire marriage was a ploy by Mist and the Mizukage in the first place. Kakashi's job was going to be to sabotage the relationship without implicating Leaf as the perpetrators.

It wasn't his usual MO to sneak around and plot instead of just chidori-ing his way through a situation, but he could still pull off missions like this with relative ease. And he had a week to research and prepare which was more than enough time to come up with a plan.

He was just about growing bored with the tedious details Tsunade was droning on about when the door opened and the perky brunette academy teacher entered with an armful of files. "Shizune wanted me to bring these by. Oh – " He stopped as he spotted Kakashi. "Sorry to interrupt."

Kakashi smiled at him, his eye curving into a crescent. "No problem, sensei. Tsunade-sama was just going over some of the more boring points of my next mission. As though I've never completed a sabotage mission before and don't know how they work," he bit the last part out pointedly.

Tsunade scowled at him and was just opening her mouth for a nasty retort when Iruka, whose face had suddenly dropped uncharacteristically, beat her to it. "Sabotage mission?" he repeated.

Kakashi opened his eye and was confused by the look on the tan man's face. "Yes?"

Iruka spun to Tsunade. "Hokage-sama, you promised me a month ago that the next sabotage mission that came in would be mine."

The blonde woman blinked slowly. "Oh… yes…" She shrugged, closing her eyes as though the thought didn't bother her. "Sorry. I forgot. You can have the next one."

Iruka's face twisted into an unreadable expression. "But we hardly ever get them!"

The hokage opened her eyes again and glared a little at the chuunin. "Well, I'm sorry, Iruka. But Kakashi's already been assigned and briefed. You'll just have to wait til next time."

Iruka's jaw clenched. Kakashi tilted his head at him. "Why do you want a sabotage mission anyway?"

Iruka's eyes flew back to him. "Because I get bored and want missions occasionally, and I'm good at sabotage."

The snort came out before Kakashi had really thought about it, and he saw the temper flare behind the teacher's eyes. "What's so funny?"

Kakashi simply shrugged, looking amused still. "I just can't picture you sabotaging anything."

Iruka glared at him. "I probably do it better than you."

Kakashi laughed outright at that. "Please, sensei. You can't even say no to Naruto when he's on his ninth bowl of ramen. There's no way you have the disposition to go intentionally ruin people's lives. Even if you did it, you'd probably get caught, whereas that would never happen to me."

Iruka's fists clenched in fury, but before he could start shouting, Tsunade slammed her hands on her desk, pushing herself up. "Enough you two! I don't need one of your arguments in my office right now." Iruka's mouth snapped shut, but he still looked upset. The hokage turned to him. "Iruka, I apologize for forgetting your request, but this mission is Kakashi's now. Deal with it."

Iruka looked thoroughly chastised now and bowed. "Yes, ma'am."

"You're both dismissed."

Iruka was gone before Kakashi had even started moving toward the door.

The second time Kakashi came upon Iruka was later that night. He and the teacher rarely ran in the same social circle. In fact he wasn't entirely sure Iruka even had a real social circle. He only really seemed to interact with coworkers during work and his students the rest of the time. So it came as a bit of shock when he wandered into the local bar to meet with some jounin friends and found the teacher planted in the middle of them. To Kakashi, the man stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the group of elite ninja, but Iruka didn't seem to mind, that same cheerful smile he always seemed to wear planted casually on his face while he listened to one of Anko's tall tales about her latest mission.

The jounin snorted softly at the crazy kunoichi. Most people just ignored her… But he supposed Iruka was used to exuberant (if not exaggerated) stories about missions because of Naruto.

He took his seat on the other side of the table, muttering hello to Asuma and Genma on either side of him. He saw the brunette's eyes flicker to him momentarily, but they didn't exchange greetings, and the teacher returned his attention back to the woman on his left side.

"What's Iruka-sensei doing here?" Kakashi uttered lowly to Genma.

The bandana-clad jounin gave him a look. "He's our friend, asshole. Be nice."

Kakashi's eye narrowed at the other man. "I wasn't planning to not be nice. I've just never seen him out with you guys before."

"That's because Iruka's a social party-pooper," Anko sang from across the table, and Kakashi started as he realized that he apparently hadn't been as quiet as he thought he was, and Iruka was now looking at him, an irritated expression glowing on his features.

"I'm very busy, Anko," he shot, but his eyes stayed on the copy-nin. "Just because I don't come out often doesn't mean you guys aren't my friends."

Kakashi didn't like the look the chuunin was giving him, but he attempted to smile at him. "Sorry, sensei. I didn't mean to imply anything."

"What you meant to imply was that it's weird for me to be hanging out at the jounin table," Iruka shot and the other occupants of said table shifted uncomfortably.

Kakashi blinked at him, then his single eye hardened. "That's not –"

But Iruka kept talking. "I can't complete missions, I can't have jounin friends…" He pushed himself to his feet and swayed just slightly as he leaned against the table. "For fuck's sake, Kakashi-sensei, why don't you tell everyone how you really feel about me?"

The jounin gritted his teeth. The light reddening on Iruka's cheeks gave away that he was obviously already on his way to being drunk, which was probably why he was being so mouthy. But that didn't mean that Kakashi had to like being spoken to that way… especially in front of his colleagues. "Sorry if it offends you, but I don't see what's so strange about thinking that a chuunin sitting at a table full of jounin is a little out of the ordinary. Or in thinking that I could do a mission better than you. Those are just facts."

Iruka opened his mouth to retort, but another jounin – one that Kakashi didn't know too well – came up behind Iruka just then, having overheard the end of the conversation. "It's good to have a little chuunin around the jounin table. Keeps things fresh!" He then proceeded to smack Iruka right on the ass.

Everyone at the table froze as they heard the resounding CRACK on the chuunin's rear end, and Iruka went still while his face registered pure shock. The drunk jounin plopped down in a chair right next to him, completely oblivious to the mistake he had just made.

Iruka blinked once. Twice. He slowly cocked his head to stare at the inebriated man. Then he shifted so he was facing the other man casually and pulled a smile across his face. "I'm sorry, jounin-sama… I didn't catch your name," he chirped pleasantly.

"Oh shit." Genma and Anko immediately scooted their chairs farther from the table, not liking the look and tone about the teacher at all.

The jounin gazed up at the tan face. "Uh… Kurosaki…"

"Kurosaki…" Iruka repeated pleasantly. "I'm Iruka-sensei. I'm the head teacher at the academy."

Kurosaki nodded with a blank expression.

Iruka continued smiling brightly at him. "Do you know, Kurosaki, what the number one rule in my classroom is during weapons practice?"

The confused jounin shook his head.

"If you abuse your weapon, it gets taken away from you."

Kurosaki merely nodded again.

"Now…" Iruka reached down and gently took the jounin's hands into his own, staring at them intently. "Some people would say that, as shinobi, our hands are the most basic and greatest weapons we possess. Would you agree with that statement?" he asked innocently, tilting his head at the other ninja.

"Uh… sure…"

Iruka smiled again. "Good." In a flash, he grabbed the others' fingers tightly and twisted the wrists into such a painful pretzel that the jounin dropped forward from his chair with a scream of pain. Iruka leaned down so his every word could be heard, keeping an iron grip on his prey. Despite the violent positioning, he kept a fairly light tone to his voice as though he were simply explaining something to a slow student. "Because if you abuse them again, I'm going to take them away from you." His stoic smile tightened even further as he gave another light twist to the jounin's wrists, causing another cry of anguish. "Understood?"

Kurosaki nodded harshly. "YES!"

"Good." Iruka finally released his victim who fell to the ground before hurriedly jumping up and running away. Then the teacher very calmly took his seat again.

Laughter slowly started to build around the table while Kakashi just stared in partial shock. A big booming laugh suddenly came from behind him and he spun in his chair to find Ibiki shaking with mirth. "Damn, Iruka, what did I miss?"

Iruka smiled softly up at the interrogation expert. "Nothing much."

Ibiki shook his head and took the seat to the other side of the chuunin. "Didn't look like nothing. You know I hate it when I miss you threatening someone."

"Don't worry." Anko grinned at him. "With any luck, he'll turn on Kakashi next."

She leered at the copy-nin who glared back at her as Iruka's smile fell and his brown eyes shot back to the jounin. Stupid loudmouth kunoichi… Iruka had almost forgotten that he had been yelling at him…

"Uh-oh." Ibiki grinned. "What'd you do, Hatake?"

Kakashi crossed his arms. "Nothing. Iruka-sensei is just upset that I verbalize reality."

Iruka glowered. "You're just too stubborn to realize the reality that I could do that mission better than you, oh great copy-ninja," he spat sarcastically.

Kakashi smirked at him. "Especially considering that this mission is most likely going to involve seducing a woman, I beg to differ. Who'd wanna sleep with you?"

The teacher's face flamed, but Anko prevented him from snapping at the smug jounin by bringing a hand up to poke the tan nose teasingly. "I wouldn't mind me some coco goodness," she cooed, and everyone laughed as Iruka batted her hand away.

"Please never say that again." The teacher looked tired now, and Kakashi hoped that he was done baiting him. He really hadn't come out with the intention of having to verbally bitch-slap the snippy chuunin, but if Iruka was gonna sass him, he'd have to put him back in his place like he always did. Just then, Iruka's eyes flew up to lock onto someone passing the table. "Oh, Ebisu!" He hopped up and grabbed the jounin's arm.

Ebisu stopped and smiled politely. "Oh, hello, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka stepped around Anko's chair. "Ebisu, did you read over my proposal for adding another training room to the academy?"

Ebisu sighed. "Yes, I did, Iruka-sensei, and I'm sorry but it's just not in the budget right now."

Iruka's face hardened. "But Ebisu, we need another training room. The other one isn't big enough to house multiple classes at the same time. All the students are being gypped practice time." Ebisu shook his head. "Please, I just need your signature –"

"I'm sorry, sensei. But I just can't." The jounin extracted his arm, ignoring the dark look that Iruka was now giving him. "Good evening." And he left the teacher standing there, looking miffed.

Asuma stood and stretched. "Well, I should be going. Kurenai's gonna get mad if I stay out too late. Later guys." Everyone chorused their goodbyes and the chain-smoking jounin disappeared out the door.

Iruka sighed, looking cranky and tired. "I should be going too."

"Aww! No!" Anko cried, sticking out her lower lip in an exaggerated pout. "You never come out! Stay for awhile! We'll duct tape Kakashi's mouth. Everything will be fine."

Kakashi shot her a glare, but Iruka just shook his head. "No, I really need to be going. We have a field trip tomorrow and I should be well-rested for it."

Just then, Kurosaki swooped by and another loud crack came from Iruka's ass and he jumped. The jounin danced away out the door, cackling evilly. "Yeah!" He drunkenly crooned, throwing his hands in the air in victory. "No damn chuunin's gonna tell me what to do!" And he swept out the door.

Iruka grimaced, rubbing his tender backside. "Fucker," he muttered, but merely shook his head wearily. "See you guys."

Everyone said goodbye softly, except Kakashi, and Iruka wandered out the door, stumbling slightly.

Genma leaned back and suddenly smirked at Anko as the teacher disappeared from view. "Kurosaki and Ebisu are gonna geeet iiit…" he sang, and Anko and Ibiki snickered into their beers.

Kakashi blinked at him. "What are you talking about?"

Anko bared her teeth in an evil grin. "Iruka."

"What about him?"

"They pissed him off."

The copy-nin tilted his head, confused. "So?"

Ibiki let out a short laugh. "So that's never a good thing to do."

"You know…" Anko tilted her head at Kakashi. "You really pissed him off today too. You're gonna want to watch your own back, man."

Kakashi scowled at her. "He didn't look that mad about the sex comment. And he was just pissy about the 'jounin friends' thing because he was drunk – he'll forget about it in the morning. Besides, what's he gonna do to me?"

"I was talking about earlier today… You totally took his sabotage mission away from him, and insinuated, twice now, that he wouldn't have been able to do it anyway."

"Oh god," Ibiki about choked on his beer through the laugh. "Please tell me you didn't."

Kakashi looked at the other jounin as though he thought they were being absurd. "Big deal. He'll have to get over it."

The three around him shared a laugh. "Iruka doesn't 'get over' things like that," Anko supplied.

"Well, that's his problem."

"Which is very quickly going to become your problem," Genma warned with a glint in his eye.

The copy-nin was starting to look exasperated. "I don't know what you think someone like him is gonna do to me. He's just a chuunin. An almost unfalteringly nice one at that."

Genma and Anko shared a grin, and Ibiki looked highly amused. "Hm, yes… chuunin…" Anko drawled, and his fellow jounin suddenly broke into hearty guffaws as though that was the funniest thing they had ever heard. "Nice!" Anko gasped out between laughter and that set them off even more.

Kakashi stared at them as though they were crazy. What the hell was so funny about that? Iruka was a chuunin… he was a teacher… he almost never took missions… He nearly always had a smile on his face, except when he was upset with a student or badly written mission report… or him. But the only time he had ever seen him really go off was at the chuunin exam nominations, but he had swiftly put him back in his place, Iruka had later apologized, and they hadn't had any sort of real animosity between them since. Until today. But even then, Iruka had momentarily seemed pissy and then gone back to ignoring him. What else was there to him besides an occasional, and quickly dissolved, temper?

"I don't see the joke," he deadpanned, trying to hide his rising annoyance at apparently being kept out of the loop. "Iruka-sensei lets his emotions run away with sometimes, but the second you put him back in his place, he backs off and goes about his business as politely as always. What's the big deal?"

Genma had finally settled down enough to speak. "He just pretends to go back to being all docile and polite. But he's just doing that to move things into position to carry out his evil plans."

Kakashi scoffed. "Evil plans?" he repeated incredulously. "The guy's emotions shoot across his face worse than any ninja I've ever met. And I've never seen anything 'evil' about him"

Anko suddenly leaned forward across the table. "You don't get it, Kakashi. That nice act – the 'oh, I'm so emotional and delicate' bit – it's fake. It's allll fake. Iruka is really…" She lowered her voice to a whisper and cupped one hand around her mouth. "The devil.

Kakashi only paused in shock for a second before snorting at the dramatics. "Uh-huh."

"Seriously, dude. The kid's an evil genius. He always gets his way. Just not by force."

"No, no," Ibiki chimed in in agreement, almost sounding impressed. "He manipulates everything so that it ends up his way. I'm still upset he turned down my invitation for a position in T&I."

The copy-nin stared at the interrogation expert as though he had grown a second head. "I don't believe it," he muttered. "Iruka-sensei's too nice to do manipulation. He just yells when he gets mad. Yelling isn't a form of manipulation – it's just a form of fear. A very immature form of intended intimidation."

Anko shook her head pityingly, giving the jounin a scary smirk. "You still don't see yet, Kakashi. He's not nice. Not by a long shot. He just knows how to get his way while still appearing nice."

Kakashi shook his head slowly, not believing it. He had never gotten any sort of vibe like that off Iruka. No one could hide being psychotic like that that well. Especially not a chuunin.

His three companions grinned at him. The kunoichi's eyes gleamed. "Just wait, Kakashi. By the end of the week, Kurosaki will be hurting, Ebisu will have signed those papers, and Iruka will have your mission."

Dun dun duuuuun!

But yeeeah... ok, that's it for now. Reviews are my crack, but it's not like I'll stop writing either way lol

DixieGoddess