'Why do they look at me this way...'
'....Why did you do this to me Kami?'
The mind is a fragile thing. Altered by the nature of things around it and the nurture given to it.
The nature around this mind is...angry...closed...alone
There was no nurture
A mind should never be handled this way
There will always be sickening consequences
A boy of the turning age of 18 sat alone in his 'house'. Knees drawn tightly to his chest, arms wrapping around the other limbs to keep them from sliding away. There was a slight shake to the body as electric blue colored eyes stared blankly into the space ahead.
This was no home
The frayed carpet was stained with dark crimson that never faded, no matter how much scrubbing was done. Walls were poorly decorated. The owner had given up cleaning his other names and messages to himself that where painted there. After friendly neighbors had visited numerous times nothing worked any longer. Cupboards with the doors torn off the hinges. Refrigerator overturned onto the floor. Rats now living inside of the rotten floors.. The windows had been broken so many times that it was useless to waste money to replace them. The nonexistent glass allowed the cold winter air to blast into the seemingly empty apartment.
The boy himself seemed to be perfectly set with his surroundings. The cold had lost its bite with his body being exposed to its chill for so long. Slowly the dulling eyes fluttered closed, falling into a sleep filled with the thoughts of the ones around him.
None of the images changed in his dream. There they where, surrounding him in a tight circle seemingly towering above him. Even thought they where separate bodies they were the same. The same eyes, filled with such emotion that he felt compelled to believe their harsh words carried by the same voice. Night and day they would tell him who he really was. This boy was heartless...a killer of innocence and didn't deserve to breath the same air given to him by Kami.
The way he saw it...if these things are said by all of them...it must be true
Eyelids raised from their resting place to allow the vision of the same scarred walls its host had departed. A sigh escaped from the blue eyed boy. He woke up...how cruel of him.
Raising from his fetal position he quietly padded over to the nearby bathroom. Stripping himself the boy washed his tainted skin with water just as cold as the night wind that had bathed his body hours on end. Stepping out of the tub with a stale towel loosely wrapping around his slim waist the boy walked to the door but stopped in a mild surprise when his gaze met the mirror. Years had changed him. Of coarse he never really grew taller, still the shortest amongst the other men in the village. With lack of nutrition the adolescent owned a very slim figure that almost seemed feminine by his small body and the way his waist gently curved in then out to go to his hips. His shoulders looked small and fail and neck long that was partially covered with choppy blond strands. Over time the boy stopped worrying about himself and left his hair alone for it to eventually grow out and lose its outrageous spiky quality to now slightly flip out bellow his ear. Even though he had such a small body so that he would be presumed weak, standing bare in front of the mirror it was easy to see the well formed muscles gracefully sliding bellow tanned skin completely unmarred except for six scares lining the boy's cheeks stretching back to the jaw.
To any normal human the blond would seem good looking but to the current spectator he couldn't stand the sight of such a creature. Getting sick of the vision in front of him the teen traveled back into the main room where he neared the a dark alcove with a pile of clothes sleeping at the bottom. This used to be a closet but the doors were torn off so long ago that it no more appeared so. He was to find his clothes for training later today with his team. The happening was very odd to him. He had not seen them in years, always being out on missions. His only break being the trip from the village gates to the tower to receive the next task. After living his life being a hapless idiot he had finally found his purpose. His healing power made him indestructible. His chakra supply was never ending. He was a jinchuuriki. A sacrifice. He was his village's perfect weapon and would be used as such.
Raising dull eyes, the sight of a nearly empty alcove met him. Thats when he remembered how much Sakura hated his orange jumpsuit and bent herself on destroying every one of them he had. Too bad it was all he had. Stepping further into the closet the blond spotted a few articles of clothing in the corner. They were from when he was younger. Part of the outfit was his old night shirt, a long, black, tank top with the orange swirl on the back. Then there were the orange shorts that would probably be tight on him now.
Sighing the boy slipped the tank top over his head and was surprised of how close fitting it was and that it could actually reach his hipbone, which jutted out only to be covered by a thin layer of skin. Next were the shorts which he stepped into after his boxers were put on. They weren't as tight as he imagined and he was thankful that they at least reached his knees. Walking to the door the blond squatted down to put his sandals on then he was gone, not bothering to lock the tilted door.
The stairs lowly groaned in pain as the boy's weight stressed their weak planks. One day they would break, although so would he. Making his way to the door of the run down apartment place the blond quietly opened the main door, not wanting to deprive the more deserving humans of sleep. Stepping out into the street of the Village the teen watched perplexed as a thick fog rose from between his lips into the sky, only to be swept away by the biting cold wind. Looking up the small boy watched as white flakes fell from the almost black sky. Not bothering with it the boy turned and headed to where his team would be, he had heard over his about three year training journey and four year absence on missions straight after, a traitor had returned after killing his captor. In the years before he would had been ecstatic for some reason but at the moment no feeling came to mind. There was no more fuel to kindle the spark inside of the smiling Jack-o-Lantern mask. Turning away from the darker section of the village the blond entered the market place trying to look past the hateful glares sent his was even though some were confused for an unknown reason.
"Die Demon!" Came a cry from near the sidelines of the path.
Pain serpented up his arm as the proclaimed demon looked down to see shards of a beer bottle glittering against his crying red skin. Bodies froze around the scene as they watched the boy quietly stare down at the now dripping wound. Slowly dieing blue gazed back at the stilled crowd. Slightly blue lips parted to pass on a whisper, as if carrying on a secret never to be heard "Forgive me." With that the feminine looking blond walked on to where he was needed.
It didn't take long enough for the familiar bridge to come into view with a surprising number of four already occupying the structure. The boy slowly walked towards them, alerting the bodies with the sound of snow crunching under his sandals. The first to look up was a girl with beautiful green eyes dressed warmly with a red scarf wrapped around her neck. She was...smiling. The blond returned the green gaze with his own steal gray. There was a sliver haired man crouching on the railing of the bridge seemingly reading an orange book but the blond could easily see that the man was secretly glancing between him and another boy with blue tinted hair.
The demon carrier's eyes lingered on the lithe, proud figure. The body of his former team mate, the traitor. He stood there casually, leaning against the bridge's railing staring at the blond as if expecting something. The boy just stood there. His scared face was blank before its eyes were dragged over to the last member. This boy was also very dark. A black shirt hugged his body before being cut off at a flat stomach, he was also very pale looking very fitting in the background of white snow blankets.
The boy's observations were interrupted when someone's voice shattered the silence held tense around them.
"Na..Naruto!?" Eyes quickly shifted towards the abrupt noise and took notice it originated from Sakura, staring at him with a shocked expression "You're back?"
Ah yes he had not seen her for six years hadn't he?
A chuckle beat the fox to any reply he had meant to make..if he was going to. "Maa yes that's what I called you all here for. It seems that our old team mate has finally found it convenient to come back and join us, Sakura...Sasuke." Silence once again elapsed the scene before a famous orange book slapped shut and the teens were reintroduced to Kakashi's eye smile "Well have fun catching up!" With that their sensei disappeared in a cloud of smoke. An awkward silence invaded the clearing once more.
"Naruto...Why are these in your arm?" The boy's body tensed when he noticed how close the girl had actually gotten. Instincts called for the boy to evade and took a few steps back from the girl. Looking down he follow her gaze to see she was directing the question at the numerous shards of glass adorning his bloodied arm, sealed in between the slips of newly healed flesh.
"..Ah, Gomen." His voice was quiet, ashamed that he did not remove these earlier. Without a moments hesitation the blond reached up and started plucking out the pieces, either ignoring or never noticing the streams of blood racing down his arm from the now gasping holes.
Green eyes watched on in shock as blood danced down pale skin to paint the stain snow underneath. "Na..Naruto stop! Your hurting yourself!" She tried to stop him by grabbing the wrist of the arm pulling out the glass but it never even slowed. When had he grown this strong? When had he began to ignore her? "Am I?" It was quiet but she could still hear it. Looking down the pink haired girl gasped as the bleeding holes were already closed and healed. A deep voice interrupted further questioning from Sakura "Seems like the dobe learned some new tricks." Two pairs of eyes raised to see that the arrogant form of the Uchiha heir had neared them and watched the entire scene between them.
--Hokage's Office--
The room was unlike it had been in the ninja's memories. Paperwork no longer mounted into unbeatable hills, there was no longer the faint smell of sake in the air or the woman's breath, nor was there anything eventful to take note of.
A man who's name resembled that of a scarecrow entered the room, no longer bothering with the well known formality called the 'knock'. This one dark eye stared down the working woman until she decided to speak to him.
"Ah...Kakashi...What brings you here?" The blond asked in an unusual bored tone.
"Why is Naruto back on my team?" Instead of the amusing yet curious voice that would be expected to come from the masked man, it was stern, angry, and if you don't mind, decorated with a sprinkle of disgust.
The brush that had been easily filling in what ever was needed in a skillful manner halted. Bored hazel eyes that only reflected the black and white requests narrowed and rose to the tall man that was angrily meeting her gaze. "What should it matter if I replaced Naruto on your team?" Her voice was stiff, begging him to give it a reason to rise to a scream.
The odd man crossed his arms in a imposing yet defensive position. "That..thing was meant to be gone long ago. I have finally gotten my team to perfect standings and now you send It back? Dismiss that the demon's lack of skills will drop us to the bottom of the charts once again but my team will most likely be murdered in their sleep by the end of the week!" Slowly through his argument his voice rose and hidden insults and insinuations threw away the curtain to be seen straight in the light.
The woman stood immediately to the challenge, an old spark once again present in her eyes. "Now I know that someone as lowly as you is not questioning the Hokage's decision. I assure you that no harm will befall your students and I expect you to keep your unjustified hatred against your very own Student hidden and let what I plan to happen do so. You are dismissed." Her words had an air of finality, leaving no room for the Jounin to spat back. His eyes narrowed in anger as his chest rose in quick successions. The air it held wishing to be released to help in the effort of striking this infuriating woman before him.
Yet, disobeying orders would mean he might be taken from his team, leaving them with that monster.. Turning on heal the man strode out of the office.
The Hokage's eyes followed Kakashi until the door slammed shut behind him. Only then did she allow a groan to pass her lips and let her face fall to be cradled in her hands. She had only issued the past that had befallen Naruto because she had hoped it would have helped him. She allowed him to be swept away into the world of travels with Jiraiya so that he could see that not everything he saw hated him. That had backfired. Jiraiya barely payed attention to the boy, not knowing how to adept his travels to one for an attention starved child. Also the blond was frequently attacked by the Akatsuki now that he was out of the shielding walls of Konoha...So all in all that educational journey for the gaki was hell delivered on a stick. He somehow got it into his head that he was too weak. That no matter where he went that he would be hated and have to fight.
When he returned he didn't talk as much, his smile wasn't as bright anymore..but at least then he attempted to smile. He requested to not placed back on his team. He wanted to try solo missions, to see all that he had learned on his training trip. Of coarse she couldn't say no to his request. So thats how it went. He would take a mission, complete it, then return and receive another one. Now in between these he would have stayed in town for a week, or a few days, then it shortened to and immediate farewell. She saw him rarely saw him but she never saw his smiling face again. There was almost nothing left of the boy he was before. After six years, double the time he was meant to be gone, she had enough. She was going to bring the boy back. He was going to smile again no matter what happened.
That plan had seemed wonderful when she had thought it up but now with everyone against him would he just fall further into waiting grave Konoha had forced him to dig?
- - - - -
I am expecting this to be a long fic so I am hoping that y'all will stick with me through it.
It will probably be a yaoi since I like those so meh.
do you want to find out? What do you expect to happen?
Answer these questions tonight for homework children and you can submit them using that delightfully attractive button right bellow.