Jonar was as happy as a stick-man could be, until some random-*ss voice began to call for him.

"Wake up Jonar...please Jonar...wake up...THERE ARE MONSTERS EVERYWHERE!"

Jonar began to look about the dark cave, searching for the mysterious voice that woke him up from his two-hundred-hour-long slumber. Five minutes later, he began to cry, because the he could not find the stranger.

"Baaaaaa…"

"Um...what are you doing?"

"Bahahahaha…"

"Please stop that, it's starting to get on my nerves-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHahaha…"

"Look, I didn't wait 200 hours just so I could listen to you cry. Jonar, you must listen."

"Fine, jeesh, whatever." Jonar lade back into his pod to sleep some more.

The voice continued with its instructions. "First things first, get the hell out of that filthy pod. It must smell like sh*t in there."

"But what if I like smelling like sh*t?"

"Well...then your an *sshole-"

"YAY!" Jonar screamed at the top of his lungs.

"...why are you...happy?"

"Because I LOVE being an *ssole!"

"Okay then...if you stay in that pod and sleep more, than you're a good person."

"AHHHH!" Jonar immediately jumped out of the pod, crying. "Why didn't you tell me BEFORE?"

"...because...you know what, nevermind."
Jonar made a sigh of relief as a result of not being in the pod anymore. "Hmmmm...do you wanna play some board games?"

"Well, I'm just a message sent from my actual body that doesn't have a physical form, so...no."

"Well...do you wanna-"

"YOU KNOW WHAT-"

"What?"

"Ugh...f*cking idiot...I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

No words were spoken for several days.

"You see the Sheetah Slate, right?"

Silence.

"Jonar, you see the Sheetah Slate, right? Put it in the case so the Information Nipple can detect it."

More silence.

"JONAR! WAKE UP!"

"Ha!" Jonar sat up. "I TROLLED YOU! I've been awake this entire TIME!"

"OKAY, JONAR! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PUT THE SHEETAH SLATE IN THE CASE SO IT CAN BE SCANNED BY THE INFORMATION NIPPLE! THAT WAY, THE DOOR WILL OPEN. ONCE YOU LEAVE, YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT THE REST!"

"Okay, gotta find the Sheetah Slate…"

After searching for ten hours, Jonar finally found the pedestal and put Sheetah Slate in it (which also took ten hours to find (it was on his waste)). The Information did all this weird stuff, and the door that led to the outside-world opened.

"AHHH! What is this strange magic?" Jonar cringed at the new light.

"It's called sunlight, *sshole!"

After crying for three hours, Jonar saw some old hobo baking an apple. Jonar hadn't eaten in weeks, so he ran up and stuffed it in his facehole. "SO GOOD!"

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, YOU MOTHER-F*CKING B*TCH?!"

"WOAH!" Jonar exclaimed. He jumped onto the old man and dabbed on him.

"OKAY, THAT'S IT! F*CK YOU!" The old man picked up his dagger and stabbed Jonar in the leg.

"SH*T!" Jonar's healthbar was already almost empty. He grabbed the rest of the old man's apples and ate them all. "YAY! I'm NOT DEAD!"

Right before the old man beat the sh*t out of Jonar, he paused and put his bad-*ss dagger on the ground. "Wait a minute, I'm your uncle UNCLE JONAR!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot…"

Uncle Jonar began to explain random stuff that I guess is important. Maybe.

"You see that random place over there?" Uncle Jonar asked.

"YES!" Jonar dabbed.

"Well, mark it on your Sheetah Slate, and then go over there."

"Oh," Jonar backflipped, "KAY!" Jonar did a double-dab.

And the journey to that random yellow dot began. Uh oh.

"Hey!" Jonar exclaimed. "A stick! I should go pick it up!" This forest was full of sticks.

After grabbing six-hundred sixty-six sticks, Jonar went to actually go to the place where Uncle Jonar asked him.

But on the way, there was trouble.

"AHHHH! So many MONSTERS!" Jonar screamed while being chased by ten Gremlins.

"EEEEEEH!" They screeched.

"Hey, voice, what am I gonna do?" Jonar asked. The voice didn't answer.

"F*CK YOU!" Jonar threw one of the sticks at a Gremlin, killing it in a single, while also breaking the stick.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Jonar exclaimed. This strategy worked perfectly.

"F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU!" By this time, all of the Gremlins were dead.

At that moment, Jonar realized that he was directly on the spot that his Sheetah Slate told him to go to. The pedestal was sitting right there.

Jonar thought of all the possible things to do. He even made a list, conveniently:

Put the Sheetah Slate in the pedestal

Sleep until everyone's dead

Run away while screaming f*ck you and dabbing

Hump the pedestal

Jump off a cliff

Rip off Uncle Jonar's beard and eat it

Literally do nothing

The option that made the most sense was to put the Sheetah Slate in the pedestal, but that was too simple…

"I KNOW!" Jonar exclaimed. All I have to do is let the voice tell me!"

Six-hundred sixty-six days later, the voice had still not answered.

"Okay, I guess I'll put it in the PEDESTAL. MEH."

After putting the Sheetah Slate in the pedestal, the ground began to shake. "OH NOOOO!" The floor below rose up, and in the time it took to take a sh*t everything around him began to shrink.

Jonar was atop his first tower.