A/N, I know yet another fic to another song, but I can't get them out of my head. Anyway I know that this has been done before but please give it a chance. I don't own the boys or the song which is 'I Grieve' by Peter Gabriel PLEASE REVIEW!!

"I Grieve"

it was only one hour ago
it was all so different then
there's nothing yet has really sunk in
looks like it always did
this flesh and bone
it's just the way that you would tied in
now there's no-one home

Dean Winchester doesn't go to Church very often, but when he does it is often because he has no where else to turn, like when his Dad died, he didn't tell anyone not even Sam but a couple of times straight after his Dad's death he found comfort in the Church, he felt closer to him even though his Dad was in Hell, he felt like he could hear him and that he wasn't truly alone. Now though, he was sat in Church because he had lost someone more important, his little brother.

'Oh God, how can be gone? He can't be, it's not possible, please God no. I failed, I failed, I failed him.' Dean whispered

'Who did you fail son?' the Priest asked sitting down next to him

'My brother, he only went into the diner to get something to eat, and he was meant to come straight back out and but he didn't'

'So your brother left you'

'No' Dean whispered on the verge of tears 'he was taken, and I didn't know until it was too late' the first few tears fell barely touching his cheeks, but dropping straight into his lap. 'It took two days, but I found him' the tears now like streams down his cheeks, 'and he was walking towards me and then, and then he was falling' he told the Priest brokenly.

I grieve for you
you leave me
'so hard to move on
still loving what's gone
they say life carries on
carries on and on and on and on

'He died in my arms and there was nothing I could do, and I just want him back.'

'Oh My dear boy' the Priest said next to him.

'I just want… I want to hear him talk, see him smile, hear him laugh. He was my responsibility and I let him down, I was meant to be his big brother who protects him form everything, but I couldn't protect him when I needed him the most, how can I be a big brother when I have no brother?'

'Son, when people die, it is their time to go, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. God needs those people with him'

'No, he doesn't need my whole family, I needed Sam, and he has taken every one I love. Why do I have to carry on? Why do I have to finish it? Sam stopped me from dying why couldn't I have stopped him?

'Maybe it wasn't your time'

The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
while the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage
and I can't handle this

'I just feel empty like there is nothing there; I wish there could be something that I could do, a deal…' Dean's sentence trailed off, and suddenly he was running out of the Church leaving a very startled Priest behind him. Dean had one destination in mind.

'One year for your brother's life'

'Fine, deal'

The Crossroads pulled Dean into a kiss to seal the deal.

I grieve for you
you leave me
let it out and move on
missing what's gone
they say life carries on
they say life carries on and on and on

life carries on
in the people I meet
in everyone that's out on the street
in all the dogs and cats
in the flies and rats
in the rot and the rust
in the ashes and the dust
life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

Sam was sitting on the bed of another Motel while Dean was in the shower thinking about what Jake had said when it suddenly hit him what Dean had done.

'Dean did you make a deal?' Sam asked timidly, not wanting to know the answer when Dean stepped out of the bathroom. Dean couldn't meet his eyes, and that was answer enough.

'Why Dean, why did you make a deal?'

'Because you where dead Sam!' Dean shouted, after he said that he seemed to lose the will to stand so slumped down onto the bed opposite Sam's in defeat.

'IT WASN'T WORTH IT BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU!' Sam screamed back

'Please Sammy, I had to, I have to look after you. It's my job, always has and always will'

'How long did you get?' Sam asked brokenly

'One year'

'Dean' Sam said, and it broke Dean's heart because Sam said it exactly the same way he said it when he was six and wanted his big brother to take care of it.

'I can't Sam, I can't take back and I wouldn't even if I could'

'Then I am not gonna let you die'

'You can try Sam, but I am not getting out of this one'

'But what am I going to do with out you?'

'Live Sam, live'

'But I don't want to with out you'

At this Dean got up and sat on Sam's bed and put his arm round Sam's shoulders, 'I am not going anywhere yet kiddo'

'I am gonna save you Dean'

'Ok, you do that Sammy' Dean said as Sam rested his head against Dean's shoulder

It's just the car that we ride in
a home we reside in
the face that we hide in
the way we are tied in
and life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

did I dream this belief?
Or did I believe this dream?
Now I can find relief
I grieve

Fin

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