Hey guys Kaezae here, and I have brought along my first songfic. A creepy pasta rap battle between Jeff the killer, and Jane the Killer. Who will win? You decide. Bold words will represent Jane. Italic words will represent Jeffy, and Bold Italics will represent the chorus which is sung by Jane. These rules will only apply when the song starts. Enjoy! And see you later!
"Got any sevens?" A certain clown faced killer asked. Jeff the killer looked up at his faceless friend as he examined his cards.
"Go fish," The Slenderman finally said. Jeff groaned and angrily threw down his cards then quickly, revealing his knife, stabbed them. Slendy sighed.
"We're going to run out of cards if you keep doing this," He said. Smile dog, and Ben who we sitting at opposite parts of the table snickered.
"I am so bored!" Jeff cried throwing his head back in despair. Smile dog snickered again.
"What's so funny you grinning mutt!?" Jeff yelled.
"Sorry, you've been going on and on about how you have nothing to do so I decided to do something about it," Smile dog replied, grinning mischievously.
"What did you do?" Ben inquired.
"I may, or may not have invited Jane over," Smile dog retorted and quickly scampered away when Jeff leapt at him.
"You crazy canine! You invited who over!?" He screamed. Smile dog laughed again.
"Smile dog, you know that this was supposed to be a guy's night out, inviting a girl over just ruins the point," Slendy deadpanned.
"And maybe you guys should consider the fact that she's going to kill me!" Jeff yelled.
"Oh...what am I going to do? How long ago did you call her?" he asked.
"About fifteen minutes ago,"
"CRAP!"
Jeff grabbed his head and cowered in the corner.
"She could be here any minute no-" Jeff didn't get to finish. The sudden crash of the front door being destroyed cut him off.
"You're paying for that!" Slendy yelled as Jane walked in.
"JEFF!? Where is he!? I swear when I get my hands on him I'm going to-" As Jane went on to say strong, unkind words Jeff tried using a window to make his escape. Jane quickly caught sight of him and gave chase. Jeff hurried back inside and dove under the table.
Jane quickly flipped it causing Jeff to scream and flee to a nearby wall. Jane took out her knife and slowly stalked towards him.
"I am going to use every single torture method I have read about on you, and then, if you're lucky, I might decide to kill you," She threatened.
"Uh...I have a better idea," Jeff suggested smiling nervously. "How about instead of fighting with weapons of...bloody destruction we use our words like adults?"
The look on Jane's face was priceless. "What!? You killed my parents!"
"Oh come on, if I'm going to die, let's make it a bit more fun,"
Jane lowered her knife, and crossed her arms. "What do you have in mind?"
"How about the classic...uh...um...rap battle!"
"You're kidding,"
"Quite the opposite actually,"
Jane took a step towards him. "Beg for mercy!"
Jeff nodded. "Please! How about if this; If I win, then you leave, if you win, then I get a five second head start,"
"Are you seriously expecting me to rap-"
"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" Jane turned around to see the other guys cheering and gave them a look that made even The Slenderman flinch.
'You know what? Fine, I'll kick your sorry butt mentally, and then physically," she said.
"Yeah, that's it, lets use the power of the voice, Smile dog, give us a beat," Jeff said.
Smile dog nodded, and switched on the radio.
Song starts in
3!
2!
1!
Do you know what I'm here for?
I'm here to even the score
you destroyed my life
So I'm going to take yours
Oh Jane, what have you done?
This battle's just started but I've already won.
How long has it been, a few years?
Since the hunt, the war you declared.
I'm still standin' and rapping' for as long is I please
When this battle's finished, I'm gonna end you with ease
Good luck talking after your throat has been slit
This rap's like your parents, because I killed it!
I'm gonna enjoy your screams of pain
When I'm cuttin' and seepin' the blood from your veins.
I'll scrape that smile off that thing you call a face
The truth is, you're nothing but a Joker disgrace.
I'll stab you plenty, with this knife you gave me
Then gut you with the knife you used to kill Mommy
I'll put you through the same pain you put ME through
Your mom said, "Hi", and Daddy did too
Do you know what I'm here for?
I'm here to even the score
You destroyed my life
So I'm going to take yours
Don't you get it Jane? You'll never beat me!
Its Beauty and Beast, but I'm the Beauty
I'm the biggest in killers, since Jack the Ripper
I'm a boss, I'm the best! I beat Slendy in "Slender"
I made you beautiful! Can't you see!?
Are you going blind? Did I use too much bleach?
You think you'll win, but I have you where I want you
Funny, huh? Kind of like I had you in that Motel room!
*Radio stops* *Song pauses*
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what!?" The Slenderman stood up, looking between Jane and Jeff.
"I know right! Can you believe it!? It was apart of her "Master Plan"!" Jeff laughed.
Jane madly blushed.
"This man-" Slendy gestured towards Jeff, "killed your parents, and you...you-"
"Um..."
"Seriously!? And what exactly did you plan to gain from this!?"
"I was trying to psyche him out!"
"By having-"
"Shut up Slender!"
The Slenderman turned to Jeff.
"Did it at least work!?"
Jeff shrugged.
"More or less," he replied.
Slenderman pointed at Jane.
"Woman, you, are sick, you hear me? Sick!"
"Coming from the guy who stalks and adducts children!"
"That's an old hobby!"
"Old hobby my-"
Smile Dog barked.
"Okay, okay, lets calm down, we still have a rap battle to finish," he said.
Slenderman grumbled something.
"Fine," he said, taking a seat.
*Song resumes*
You're a coward Jeff! Did you know that?
You hide and run like a pale sewer rat.
You're a crazy Ronald McDonald creep!
You spend your lonely nights watching children Sleep!
It looks like Randy put your freaking face through hell
Tell your brother, "Hi" for me, when you see him in hell
I'm Jane, the dark knight, that makes you the Joker.
I'm going to kick your sorry butt, like I kicked Slendy's in poker!
"You said you'd never tell anyone about that!"
"...CHORUS!"
Do you know what I'm here for?
I'm here to even the score
You destroyed my life
So I'm going to take yours
Wow Jane, you sure know how to stoop low
That wasn't that kind of joke, just making sure you know,
Now, I'm sorry about your parents, but they weren't fun at all
No screaming, no yelling, they wouldn't even bawl
I'm the most maniacal insomniac around, yeah I said it!
I've improved your life, now you can actually live it
No parents, no home, I've set you free
You only hunt and stalk, cause you have a crush on me!
I'm adding an extra line, because this is the end of my portion
How's our child doing Jane, did you get the-
"WHAT!?"
Jeffery, you've gone much too far
Get your face ready, I'm going to add new scars
You insecure psycho, you snow-white snake
Take a look in the mirror, you look worse than the Rake.
Isabelle's doing fine, but I've had enough of you
I'm going to take pride in my victory, before I shatter you.
Sleep well Jeff, you pain will be diminished.
You may have started this battle, but it has just been finished.
The battle has ended now
It's time for retribution
It's been long since I've made this vow
For our story, this is the conclusion.
"OH!" Jeff's friends screamed in unison.
"Uh, oh,"
Jane smirked.
"Your five seconds are fading,"
"Oh come on Jane, you wouldn't want to hurt little old me, would you?
"4...3...2-"
"Okay, okay!"
Jeff sprinted through the now door-less, doorway. Jane, with her small smirk, seated herself across the table from Slender.
"You wanna rematch?" she asked, taking hold of a few cards.
"Well, there goes our "Guy's Night", thirty minutes...good job guys," Slendy deadpanned.
"Aren't you going to get Jeff?" Smile Dog asked with his usual...smile.
"Nah, he'll come back here later," Jane replied with a yawn.
"What makes you think that?" Ben inquired.
"He forgot his knife," she retorted.
Ben and Smile Dog erupted into laughter.
"He shouldn't have done that," Ben said.
Slenderman sighed.
"I really do need more friends," he said looking around. "More girl friends anyways,"
"What happened to Slender Woman?"
"You guys aren't in another one of your break-up-periods, are you?"
Slendy covered his face.
Jane scanned her cards.
"Got any sevens?"
How was it? It was my first songfic...and the first full song I have ever come up with, so go easy. I'm not really used to this kind of stuff. Anyways, I hope you liked it. I was thinking of having Slenderman battle Smile Dog next, or maybe vs. Ben Drowned. Well, I'll see you guys later, bye!
P.S: I got the name for Jane's daughter from her mother. Quite clever.