A trainer clad in Kommo-o scales walks up to his best friend Sophocles' observatory.

As you would guess, this is our hero, Elio, a great inventor.

"All right, what did you call me up here for?"

"I got a Musharna off of Wonder Trade! Those don't even exist in Alola!"

"Really? Let me see it."

Five minutes later, Elio was spazzing out on the floor, eyes bloodshot. You thought this was gonna be one of THOSE fics, didn't you? NOPE!

"Dude...we should build a robot!"

"Don't...don't say anything until the Dream Mist wears off."

"No, man, I'm serious! We're both super smart! We can do it!"

"Fine. But we're gonna wait until that mist gets out of your system. It's gonna take a week. And a lot of Worry Seeds."

And so they did, staying up off of Worry Seed in Sophocles' part of the observatory for the next few weeks.

"...okay, so the control panel goes here, and the Electrium Z goes here.."

"...alright, so I use this algorithm for the character incubation system..."

"...spring loaded arms, for a powerful punch under duress…"

"...you said to put the wingding projectors behind the eyes, right?"

"Can you get your Gellin over here? I want to test something…"

After seven days it was done. What was it? The duo called it the Databolic Absorption Operating System, or DAOS for short.

It was a robotic skeleton with the same proportions as a regular trainer and clear skin that took on an appearance after data was plugged in. It had two metallic circular markings between the ears and chin that stayed no matter what appearance it took. It also had x-ed out eyes. It was basically born of weed and caffeine, so some weird stuff was bound to get into it. A mechanism behind the eyes gave it the ability to show symbols in them, such as hearts, a blue screen of death, or, when it has almost no battery life left, Xs. The way it works is you select 255 characters and it mixes up a little bit from each of them. It charges using not a plug or some other power source, but cytoplasm from Elio's Gellin, Blobber. Gellin is the largest single celled Pokemon on the planet, an Electric/Grass type. Due to its typing, its cytoplasm has a lot of electrical charge in it and this charge is what the DAOS runs on. Plus, it smells like grass clippings. It can call its lost parts back and rebuild itself in a flash, so long as an Electrium Z and Magnet stay hooked up. The pupils and irises of the robot turn blue when at 20% or so battery left.

"All right! Thanks, man! I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow! That's how long it should take for the character to develop!"

"Wait, WHAT?! You're just TAKING it?! We worked all flipping week on this aaand never mind, I need a nap."

Elio dragged the wagon containing the DAOS down to the base of Mt Hokulani in fear that Charizard would not be able to support a heavy load. Gellin cytoplasm was HEAVY. He put the idea out of his head and flew to his house on Melemele anyway. Believe it or not, it worked. This Ride Charizard in particular had Belly Drum, which makes it IMMENSELY strong.

"Alright, just gotta sneak this in. I wanna surprise everyone!"

"Hey, bro." Selene walked into the room. Bad timing. "D-did you KILL someone?!"

Elio looked back at the sheet-covered wagon. "True, it does KIND of look like a dead body under there. This is a robot, actually."

"Oh. GIMME THE TABLET!"

"NO! I stayed up for a week building this thing! Give it back!"

And the two of them scuffled on the floor for a bit, until Selene emerged victorious and ran off.

"At least let me show you how to use it!"

"Fine. How do you work this?"

"Okay, first you select a gender."

"A girl, obviously."

"Now choose a character. Out of ANY ONE IN THE WORLD."

"What?! How do I decide?! Oh heck, I'm just gonna choose Chowder."

"Good. Now repeat step two 254 more times."

"WHAT?!"

Selene took very, VERY long choosing the right mix. So long, in fact, that everyone else was long asleep by the time she almost finished.

At the bottom of the dropdowns, there was a 256th one that said "RELEGATE TO PRESERVATIVE INSTINCT."

"Eh? What on earth is this?"

She pressed the information button.

"THIS CHARACTER IS ONLY USED WHEN THE DAOS IS UNDER GREAT DURESS. IT IS ADVISED TO CHOOSE A STRONG CHRACTER."

"Oh. Now what's the strongest character I've seen? I know! Galacta Knight!"

This may not end well….

The next day, Elio got up as early as possible to check what Selene plugged into the machine.

"Good. It's already starting to form a face and appearance."

The DAOS in question had taken on the appearance of a white trainer with brown pigtails, still keeping the X-ed out eyes.

"….No. NO. NONONONO. SELENE! GET IN HERE!"

"What is it? Make it quick so I can snooze the rest of this day away."

"WHY ARE THERE JUST CUTE STUPID CHARACTERS IN HERE?! IT NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO FLIPPING DEFEND ITSELF! ARE ALL GIRLS INCAPABLE OF THINKING EVEN THE SLIGHTEST TOUGH THOUGHTS?!"

"What?! All of that cuteness has gotta have SOME positive effect on both of us."

"Pfft. Fine. It'll be ready around 2 today. It's too late to turn back anyway. I'm going to go turn some idiots at the Battle Tree into lunchmeat with Belly Bash. Call me when it reaches 95% percent or so."

Eight hours later, it was almost time.

Elio, Belly Bash, and Luna (Elio's Shiny Gardevoir) slid into the house on their faces. Don't ask me how that was possible.

"Yeesh. What happened to you guys?"

"Stealth Rock." Elio mumbled dejectedly into the floor.

"Ouch. Well, the display said it's at 98 percent."

"Okay." Elio dragged himself into the room where the DAOS was located. While still on the floor. That kid's gonna need a Burn Heal at best.

It was at that moment that the DAOS booted up for the first time. Elio had managed to hoist himself off of the floor. It stared at them with blank eyes. You know that air of mystery you meet someone and they run away? The robot seemed to radiate that at first….and that all went out the window when it spoke.

"Hi, mister!"

"EeeeeEEEEEAAAAAAGHITSSOCUTEICANTTAKEIT!"

"See? I TOLD you making it mostly cute characters was a good idea!"

"AHGODIJUSTWANNALOVEITANDSQUEEZEITUNTILITPOPSAND-ahem. This is amazing! It's like the Golden Wooper!"

"The what?"

It's a rare kind of Wooper that's said to be the finest antidepressant known to man! We have to turn it off and go show this to someone!"

"So what were you showing me again?"

The two had decided to show the DAOS to Lusamine. Elio explained how they had invented her over the last week.

"...and without further ado we present to you the DAOS!"

Elio unveiled the wagon to reveal...a trainer with pigtails floating facedown in some green ooze.

"AAAAH! Sweet mother of Arceus! Why are you showing me a dead body?! I tried, Lillie! I tried! TOXINS! I NEED NEUROTOXINS!"

She pulled a Beast Ball out of nowhere, released the Nihilego inside it, and sucked on one of its tentacles, with visible bulges being pumped into her mouth.

"Aaaah...that's better. Huh. The effect is closer to liquor than crack, like it was two years ago. What were we talking about again? AAAH! YOU KILLED SOMEONE!"

"If you had let us FINISH, you would have heard that this is a robot. One that is the finest antidepressant known to man. In fact, bring your edgy borb of a son down here and I'll show you how potent this thing is."

He turned the DAOS on and Gladion came down.

"Hey kid."

Elio hoisted the DAOS up and held it to Gladion's face, with its tongue sticking out a bit while a derpy expression was on its face.

"Look at this for a full minute and tell me you're still dead inside with a straight face."

Around the thirty second mark, he got a weird expression on his face. "Keep it together, Gladion." he thought. "Be cool. Stay cool. Stay coooaaaAAAGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT!"

He started swarming all over the DAOS.

"Whoa! Hold off there, guy!"

"AAAGHIJUSTWANNAHUGYOUUNTILYOUPOPANDTHEN-I don't have time for this." He walked off.

"See? What did I tell you? A word of warning though: Do NOT get it sad in any way. It takes a bit of effort, as most of its components are a bit dim, but just don't."

"Why?"

"Then it turns into the Reverse Wooper, another rare breed whose pout is so depressing you want to hang yourself INSTANTLY. Look."

"You're awful!" he said to the DAOS.

"What does that mean?"

"It means we all hate you."

Then it got puppy-dog eyes and a big pout on its face. Elio and Selene looked away at this moment. Lusamine, on the other hand, wasn't as lucky and started looking for a knife.

"Alright, that's enough. I lied. Nobody hates you."

"Yay!"

"Kid, that was pretty darn cool. And saw the mighty Necrozma beat the living daylights out of Nebby. I KNOW cool."

"Alright, let's go."

"So what are we gonna name it, bro?"

"Eh. How about Mimi?"

"I like it. Are we gonna tell her?"

"Tell her what?"

That she's a robot, silly! She doesn't seem to know, anyways."

"Look at me. Look at me directly in the eye holes. NO. Do you SEE how pure Mimi is?!"

He pointed to Mimi, who was staring off into space with that derpy expression.

"Do you think that's the kind of purity that can be regained?! We are NOT telling Mimi she's a robot! Everything that is blatantly an extension to her body, we tell her that's normal. GOT IT?!"

"Fine. I think it would be better, but she's technically yours."

"Mimi! Come on, we're going!

"Who's Mimi?"

"That's you."

"I thought I was the d-ay-o-ess."

"No, you're Mimi. Now come on, we're going."

"Okay!"