I got to thinking - what if Lucy hadn't died? Where would it have gone? So, here's my best shot at it. It ain't my best fic, it is slightly cliched, slightly cheesy but it's just a filler till I get inspiration as how to continue "Away Too Long" and "In The Middle Of Nowhere"
I own nothing and noone.
"I got a letter this morning,"
The blonde was still hopelessly over keen and far too bright to be real at 9:00 in the morning. It took his mind a while to adjust.
"Don't you want to know who it's from?"
She chirped brightly. He sighed and turned to her, looking and feeling very weary indeed.
"I got a place in a psych department in San Fran,"
"Oh,"
He blinked a couple of times, as if trying to wake up.
"Don't sound too excited then,"
"It's great news, Lucy, really,"
She looked suitably delighted, missing the slightly lost tone in his voice. She had every right to look delighted after what she'd been through in the last 6 months. She deserved happiness. God knows, by rights she shouldn't even be alive let alone irritating the hell out of him. She had a knack of irking him and always first thing in the morning too,. But he didn't mind it so much not because he knew how easily things could have gone the other way for them on Valentines Night 2000. He knew how easily she could be dead and he knew exactly how unbearable and empty his life would be without her in it. So he put up with her flaws because he was well aware of their possible brevity. Coming face to face with mortality had hit them both hard. She didn't seem to have changed greatly, which he admired. She didn't know what she meant to him. She'd only get the wrong idea about it.
*****
"Can I talk to you?"
"Always,"
She shoved him into an empty side room abruptly and turned, face stern, to stare at him.
"What is wrong with you? Can't you at least pretend to be happy for me?"
"I am happy for you. You deserve it,"
"Deserve it? I earned this,"
Her brow was etched with painful memories of just how tough this had been on her. The toll on her mind and body muct have been greater than he supposed he'd ever realised.
"You did. Lucy, you go, do well. God knows, you'll be a better doctor than I ever will,"
"You don't want me to go do you?"
"It's not about me, Luce, not anymore,"
Something deep in her eyes told him she needed his approval, for some reason this was at least partially about him.
"Fine, be like that,"
She sounded halfway to childish.
"You don't need my approval. I'm not your keeper,"
He tried to stay calm, stay distant, stay professional. It was increasingly difficult to do, considering all they'd suffered together, all they knew of each other. He had a startling, vivid mental image of her, lost and slone, bloody and frightened looking more like a little girl than ever. That was not how she was now but that would be his memory of her. If she left, that would be the picture that would haunt him and he couldn't bear the thought of that.
"You don't care...?"
"I care, Luce, and I want you do do what's best for you,"
She didn't look like she understood why he was pushing her away, keeping his distance. He knew he held too much influence already. and would feel guily if she made a wrong move because of him. Her innocence was beguiling but false for she knew more of life than he had at her age. She knew the pain of nearly losing it, she knew how brief it could be. She'd been forced into that realisation far too young. Lucy had come to Chicago believing she could take on the world. She'd leave it realising she couldn't, aware of her limits, a battered but he hoped not a broken spirit.
****
She was similarly excited by job offers from a plethora of other hospitals, including County. It was charming to watch her at such an important time in her life, all bright smiles and beautiful, blue eyes. But her decision was all but made. As her time in County drew to a close, she got more and more excited. On the surface she was a child again. He could see uncertainty pulling at her from somewhere inside though. Going would be best fro her. Thinking of his life without her in it was hell. But it was his life and outside of her concern. They even went as far as organising her a leaving party. He knew she'd rather slip off into the night, didn't like the fuss or he assumed the memories. She played along with it, hugged, kissed and danced the night away. She looked radiantly happy. Truly happy. Good for her, he thought almost bitterly.
"Come on, you old fuddy-duffy, dance,"
Her sweet, slightly mocking tone rang in his ear as she grabbed his wrist. He was pulled onto the dancefloor, surrounded by laughter and happiness but at the same time lost in his own little world.
"You know, they're right when they say men can't dance,"
She whispered in his ear, her eyes travelling around the room almost disgustedly. He didn't look at her, couldn't bear to. Her long, blonde hair brushed the side of his neck as she leant up. He controlled the tremor it caused, trying to pull himself together. More than anything, it was these moments he knew he'd miss when she boarded the train tomorrow morning that took her out of his life. Realising she would be expecting a response, he replied.
"On behalf of my gender, I sincerely apologise,"
"On behalf of my gender, your apology is accepted,"
He smiled, she laughed and silence fell between pupil and teacher again. The silence lasted as long as the song. He drifted awat in his thoughts as long as he could, savouring these last few precious moments with her. She looked at her watch suddenly.
"I'd better go,"
"What times the train?"
"7:15,"
It was gone 1am.
"You want a lift home?"
"You sure?"
It would be the last useful thing he could do for her. Yes, he was sure.
"Get your coat woman!"
She linked arms with him as they walked to his car. She was a true friend to him, that he couldn't deny, and one of the most selfless people he'd ever met. Nothing was about her own gain, when in fact she had every right in the world
to be a little selfish sometimes.
"You O.K?"
She startled him out of his reverie.
"Yeah, fine,"
"You looked about a million miles away,"
"I was,"
He smiled a little nostalgically.
"You are really O.K with me leaving aren't you?"
Her concern was touching if unecessary.
"Yes. Course I am. It ain't another planet or anything,"
"True. It's just..I could still stay,"
"Why? Don't do this for me, Luce, i couldn't live with myself,"
"I will miss you,"
And I you, my first success as a tutor. It hadn't been easy on either of them. But they got through it.
"Go, Lucy, you're packed, there's no future for you here,"
"But you...."
"I'll live. I'll miss you sure but heh that's what phones are for right?"
"Right,"
She agreed still uncertain. He turned her to face him, gazing into and holding her sea-blue eyes.
"Lucy. Go now, or you never will,"
He knew it was true. She shouldn't let the past trap her, it would destroy her. Just because he was caged and broken by events, by the city of his birth, didn't mean she had to suffer the same fate. She could be free.
Cheesy huh? Sorry, had to write something, it just came out a bit mixed up that's all.
I own nothing and noone.
"I got a letter this morning,"
The blonde was still hopelessly over keen and far too bright to be real at 9:00 in the morning. It took his mind a while to adjust.
"Don't you want to know who it's from?"
She chirped brightly. He sighed and turned to her, looking and feeling very weary indeed.
"I got a place in a psych department in San Fran,"
"Oh,"
He blinked a couple of times, as if trying to wake up.
"Don't sound too excited then,"
"It's great news, Lucy, really,"
She looked suitably delighted, missing the slightly lost tone in his voice. She had every right to look delighted after what she'd been through in the last 6 months. She deserved happiness. God knows, by rights she shouldn't even be alive let alone irritating the hell out of him. She had a knack of irking him and always first thing in the morning too,. But he didn't mind it so much not because he knew how easily things could have gone the other way for them on Valentines Night 2000. He knew how easily she could be dead and he knew exactly how unbearable and empty his life would be without her in it. So he put up with her flaws because he was well aware of their possible brevity. Coming face to face with mortality had hit them both hard. She didn't seem to have changed greatly, which he admired. She didn't know what she meant to him. She'd only get the wrong idea about it.
*****
"Can I talk to you?"
"Always,"
She shoved him into an empty side room abruptly and turned, face stern, to stare at him.
"What is wrong with you? Can't you at least pretend to be happy for me?"
"I am happy for you. You deserve it,"
"Deserve it? I earned this,"
Her brow was etched with painful memories of just how tough this had been on her. The toll on her mind and body muct have been greater than he supposed he'd ever realised.
"You did. Lucy, you go, do well. God knows, you'll be a better doctor than I ever will,"
"You don't want me to go do you?"
"It's not about me, Luce, not anymore,"
Something deep in her eyes told him she needed his approval, for some reason this was at least partially about him.
"Fine, be like that,"
She sounded halfway to childish.
"You don't need my approval. I'm not your keeper,"
He tried to stay calm, stay distant, stay professional. It was increasingly difficult to do, considering all they'd suffered together, all they knew of each other. He had a startling, vivid mental image of her, lost and slone, bloody and frightened looking more like a little girl than ever. That was not how she was now but that would be his memory of her. If she left, that would be the picture that would haunt him and he couldn't bear the thought of that.
"You don't care...?"
"I care, Luce, and I want you do do what's best for you,"
She didn't look like she understood why he was pushing her away, keeping his distance. He knew he held too much influence already. and would feel guily if she made a wrong move because of him. Her innocence was beguiling but false for she knew more of life than he had at her age. She knew the pain of nearly losing it, she knew how brief it could be. She'd been forced into that realisation far too young. Lucy had come to Chicago believing she could take on the world. She'd leave it realising she couldn't, aware of her limits, a battered but he hoped not a broken spirit.
****
She was similarly excited by job offers from a plethora of other hospitals, including County. It was charming to watch her at such an important time in her life, all bright smiles and beautiful, blue eyes. But her decision was all but made. As her time in County drew to a close, she got more and more excited. On the surface she was a child again. He could see uncertainty pulling at her from somewhere inside though. Going would be best fro her. Thinking of his life without her in it was hell. But it was his life and outside of her concern. They even went as far as organising her a leaving party. He knew she'd rather slip off into the night, didn't like the fuss or he assumed the memories. She played along with it, hugged, kissed and danced the night away. She looked radiantly happy. Truly happy. Good for her, he thought almost bitterly.
"Come on, you old fuddy-duffy, dance,"
Her sweet, slightly mocking tone rang in his ear as she grabbed his wrist. He was pulled onto the dancefloor, surrounded by laughter and happiness but at the same time lost in his own little world.
"You know, they're right when they say men can't dance,"
She whispered in his ear, her eyes travelling around the room almost disgustedly. He didn't look at her, couldn't bear to. Her long, blonde hair brushed the side of his neck as she leant up. He controlled the tremor it caused, trying to pull himself together. More than anything, it was these moments he knew he'd miss when she boarded the train tomorrow morning that took her out of his life. Realising she would be expecting a response, he replied.
"On behalf of my gender, I sincerely apologise,"
"On behalf of my gender, your apology is accepted,"
He smiled, she laughed and silence fell between pupil and teacher again. The silence lasted as long as the song. He drifted awat in his thoughts as long as he could, savouring these last few precious moments with her. She looked at her watch suddenly.
"I'd better go,"
"What times the train?"
"7:15,"
It was gone 1am.
"You want a lift home?"
"You sure?"
It would be the last useful thing he could do for her. Yes, he was sure.
"Get your coat woman!"
She linked arms with him as they walked to his car. She was a true friend to him, that he couldn't deny, and one of the most selfless people he'd ever met. Nothing was about her own gain, when in fact she had every right in the world
to be a little selfish sometimes.
"You O.K?"
She startled him out of his reverie.
"Yeah, fine,"
"You looked about a million miles away,"
"I was,"
He smiled a little nostalgically.
"You are really O.K with me leaving aren't you?"
Her concern was touching if unecessary.
"Yes. Course I am. It ain't another planet or anything,"
"True. It's just..I could still stay,"
"Why? Don't do this for me, Luce, i couldn't live with myself,"
"I will miss you,"
And I you, my first success as a tutor. It hadn't been easy on either of them. But they got through it.
"Go, Lucy, you're packed, there's no future for you here,"
"But you...."
"I'll live. I'll miss you sure but heh that's what phones are for right?"
"Right,"
She agreed still uncertain. He turned her to face him, gazing into and holding her sea-blue eyes.
"Lucy. Go now, or you never will,"
He knew it was true. She shouldn't let the past trap her, it would destroy her. Just because he was caged and broken by events, by the city of his birth, didn't mean she had to suffer the same fate. She could be free.
Cheesy huh? Sorry, had to write something, it just came out a bit mixed up that's all.