~Accidents in the Home~

"Really, Daniel, you should consider yourself very fortunate that I was here to help you." Around and around the bandage went, and where it would end was anybody's guess. Vala seemed to be taking her self-appointed role as nurse and paramedic a little too seriously for Daniel's liking.

"Stop, please!" he protested with enough force to grimace at his own words as they rattled about his barely functioning brain. "It doesn't need bandaging… I don't need bandaging. Just help me to the couch and I'll be fine."

"You slipped in the laundry!"

"I got that, thanks," he said taking his bearings. His butt was wet thanks to the inch or so of water on the floor, and there was a huge lump from the top of his head down to the base of his skull. From the angle he landed at, it was clear he'd taken a considerable slide before coming to a rest flat on his back. He couldn't even remember the fall.

Vala pushed away his concerns with a swish of her hand and got back to the task of bandaging his head. "I'm thinking I should really ring Carolyn. Concussion isn't something to be taken lightly."

"I don't have a concussion," he ground out as another layer of crepe cloth covered his eyes, forcing him to push it up so he could see.

"You were unconscious, darling, and in my book unconscious equals concussion."

"And which book would that be?"

She applied another layer of bandage with gusto, pulling it just a little too tight for Daniel's liking. He protested, but she solidly ignored him.

"Vala?"

"Hmm?"

"The book?"

"Oh, well, that would be 'The Care and Feeding of SG-1's Archaeologist'. A quaint little volume your rather friendly General Jack made Cameron and myself read."

"The care and… what?"

"Feeding! Honestly, Daniel, is that concussion you are most certainly suffering from so severe I should forego calling Carolyn in favor of 911?"

"No Carolyn and no emergency services. Besides, I doubt the call center would take you seriously after the last little episode."

"Being impaled on a nail is nothing to quip over," she huffed.

"I said I had a hang nail, Vala… not hanging by a nail!"

"Is there a difference?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about the two hundred dollar call-out fee I was charged with?"

Vala tied off the end of the bandage and sat back to survey her work, smiling appreciatively. "I think you'll live until I get you back to base."

Daniel pressed his palms into his eyes and then scrubbed his hands down his face in frustration. "This really wasn't necessary, you know."

Vala held her hands up and imitated sock puppets. "Why, thank you, Vala. Your help during this most trying time has been most invaluable,' said her left hand. "You're welcome, Daniel. Happy to have been of assistance," replied the other.

"Vala?"

She let her hands fall back to her lap. "Hmm?"

"The couch?"

"Oh, right."

The End