Disclaimer: None of the Buffy people or places belong to me. I'm borrowing
them for a while, but I promise I'll give them back.
Author's Note: This is one of the first fanfics that I wrote, back in the
day.
Spoilers: Everything up to season four has happened.
At Last
***
Los Angeles, California. 2019.
Angel sat beside the fire reading The Divine Comedy by Dante. He was up to the Inferno- Hell. He thought about his own time in Hell, the unspeakable, indescribable pain. He remembered the confusion he felt when he was brought back from Hell, naked. He remembered the look of pain, fear, confusion and love on the face of the girl who had sent him to Hell.
Angel was one of the undead, a vampire. He was now 266 years old and he lived in Los Angeles. He had a private investigations business- Angel Investigations. Through this, he was able to fight demons and keep the streets of LA that little bit safer. He'd been doing this for twenty years. He'd seen his friend Doyle die, he'd seen all kinds of horrible things. But none of it hurt as much as not seeing Buffy.
***
Angel had first seen Buffy Summers in 1996, when she was just fifteen years old. It was the day she was called to become the vampire slayer: one girl in all the world, the chosen one: born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires and fight the forces of evil. He went to Sunnydale to wait for her, and she moved there in 1997 after being expelled from her last school in LA. Slowly, he revealed himself to her, and then, after they fought The Three, he revealed that he wanted so badly to kiss her. Well, she wanted to kiss him too, so they did, and he revealed his vampire face. Predictably, perhaps, she freaked out. But after he explained himself to her, and killed Darla, all was sort of all right, and he disappeared from sight, trying to stop loving her. Until he gave a book, the Pergamum Codex, to her watcher Giles, and they discovered that Buffy would fight the Master and she would die. He remembered how her friend Xander came to him asking him to lead the way to the Master, after Buffy had gone off to face him. At first reluctant, Angel showed him the way to the Hellmouth, where they found no Master, but one drowned Slayer. At that moment, Angel felt like staking himself, but Xander revived her and she then killed the Master.
***
Over the next year, their relationship was rocky, to say they least. Angel tried to keep his distance, to protect her, but fell so deeply in love that he couldn't stay away. Until they had sex. The moment of pure happiness he felt ended the curse and Angel became the vicious, evil killer he had been before. This, not surprisingly, broke Buffy's heart. He taunted her, tried to weaken her so he could kill her. When Jenny Calendar, the computer teacher at Sunnydale High found the secret of his curse again, he killed her and destroyed what he thought to be the only copies of the Rite of Restoration.
Then, he tried to awaken the demon Acathla, who would suck the world into Hell. In the process of getting all the knowledge about Acathla, he tortured Giles. For hours. For pleasure. Buffy came to stop him, they fought and she won, sending Angel to Hell and closing the vortex. By this time, Willow had found the curse, and restored his soul. Buffy had to send the Angel she loved to Hell.
But, he was sent back to Earth and he didn't know why. He had seen and experienced such horrors in Hell that, once she found him, it took Buffy a long time to get him back to health. He still loved her so much, yet knew that to become too close to her would cause him to lose his soul. He realised that he could never stay close to her, and after helping her stop the Ascension of the Mayor on Buffy's graduation day, he left Sunnydale and went to LA.
There he met Doyle, a half demon who had visions, sent to him by the Powers That Be. They fought demons, along with Cordelia Chase, an old friend from Sunnydale. When Doyle died, he gave the visions to Cordelia, who hated the migraines that came with the visions. Another face from the Sunnydale past, ex-watcher Wesley Wyndham-Pryce joined them. They settled into a routine, albeit a weird routine. Then, they found a scroll: the Scrolls of Aberjian. After Wesley translated the text, they discovered that once Angel fulfilled his destiny, fighting monsters and demons, he would become human. He lived for that day, and watched enviously as Wesley and Cordelia aged, and he remained the same as always.
***
He had not seen Buffy for twenty years. He wanted nothing more than to see her. But he couldn't. Or he couldn't before. For the last month, Angel had been human. After the last battle against evil, he became human. It had taken twenty years of demon fighting, but he was. Wesley and Cordelia knew this, but all he wanted to do was tell Buffy.
But he knew what Buffy was doing. She was 38 years old; married to Riley Finn (a man Angel had met, beaten up and instantly disliked) and she still lived in Sunnydale, still kicking demon ass with the help of the new official slayer, a younger woman by the name of Honor. While Buffy must have aged, Angel looked exactly the same. He looked 27, the age he'd been when he was changed. He desperately wanted to see her, but he couldn't bring himself to call her. She had another life, entirely separate from his.
***
"Hello?" a woman's voice answered.
"Buffy?"
"Yes?"
"It's Cordelia."
"Cordelia Chase?" Buffy sounded pleased, but surprised.
"The one and only."
"Is everything OK? Is Angel..." Buffy's voice was full of concern.
The two often spoke, usually to do with work- demons and vampires and such, to help each other out, but Cordelia wasn't sure how to tell Buffy about Angel. It wasn't her place.
"How's life?" She asked Buffy.
"It's pretty good. Me, Riley, Willow, Oz, Xander. And Giles of course. Things don't change much in Sunnydale."
"That's great." Cordelia paused.
"What's up Cordy?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking. I might come down and visit soon."
"You should! I know everyone would be so pleased to see you.
"Really? It's been so long..."
"Only a couple of years. Why don't you come next weekend? It's Xander's birthday."
"Well, I'd have to get permission from the Boss." said Cordelia, referring to Angel.
"But I'm sure I can persuade him." She finished.
***
Cordelia had become like a sister to Angel in their time in LA. When they had first met, back in Sunnydale, she had been the self centred snobby Queen of Sunnydale High. This had begun to change as reality was revealed to her- the reality of vampires, slayers and Hellmouths. At first she had tried to seduce Angel, but gave up when she realised nothing was going to come between Buffy and Angel. Then she dated Xander Harris, her former archenemy, but they split after he kissed Willow.
Cordelia's life had been throw into turmoil when her parents were charged with tax evasion. Overnight, the rich girl was penniless, and went to LA to become famous. In stead, she met Angel again and became a part of Angel Investigations. Over the last twenty years, Cordelia, and Angel, and Wesley had become a family.
Cordy and Angel really were like sister and brother, and often he could sense her visions before she showed any outward sign. With her help, Angel became less solitary, and less brooding, and together, they all battled the forces of darkness in the Los Angeles area.
She was surprised that Angel had managed to stay away from Buffy and vice versa. In their first year in LA, Angel had gone back to Sunnydale twice, and Buffy had come up to LA, always strictly business. But since then, the two had communicated only through the others: Cordelia, Willow, Giles and the rest of the old Scooby gang.
Cordelia knew how much Angel still loved Buffy, and Cordelia knew that every time they spoke, Buffy didn't ask about Angel just to be polite. And now, Angel was human.
Not that he acted particularly differently. Sure, he no longer lived on just a liquid diet, but he didn't go out in the sun, and he didn't buy a mirror. Or anything like that. The fact was, Angel didn't think he deserved to be human again. He still remembered all the evil he had done, and he didn't think he should have been given a second chance.
He had spent so long being guilty, that he didn't know how to be anything else. This wasn't to say he was unhappy- he liked his life in LA with Cordy and Wesley. But he wasn't part of the world, and even now he could be, he wasn't sure that he deserved to be a part of the world. And so, when he became human, he changed very little about his life.
What he did do, was to discover all the great foods he had pretty much missed out on while on a blood-only diet. The pizza delivery guy knew Angel's address by heart already.
***
On Friday afternoon, Cordelia put her bags into Angel's beautiful old Cadillac convertible. As far as he was aware, he was just taking her to the bus depot. But she had other plans. She packed some of his clothes into a bag, and as they were about to leave, made sure all was secure for the weekend.
"Are you ready?" he asked, coming into the sunlight a little warily.
"Yep!" she led the way to the car.
"Angel.....?"
"What?" he was with a distinct sense of trepidation.
"Can I drive? Please, come on. I'm a good driver."
She was always pleading with him to let her drive his beautiful old car, and 99 times out of 100 he said no. If he said no this time, her plans might be ruined.
He thought for a minute.
"All right then." he relented. They got in and Cordelia started the car and drove off.
Fortunately, Angel was a little disoriented, being so familiar with LA only at night, and so it was a little while before he realised that they weren't going to the bus depot- they were on their way to Sunnydale.
"Cordelia?"
"Yes?" she asked innocently.
"Would it be wrong of me to suggest that you missed the turning to the bus depot? Or any turnings at all?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." she said, still innocently.
"Would I be right in thinking that you're driving to Sunnydale?"
"Well, not right exactly.."
"Cordelia!" he exclaimed.
"I thought you could do with a vacation."
"So we're going to that popular tourist spot, the Hellmouth?" he said angrily.
"Lighten up Angel. It's just a couple of days. It's for Xander's birthday."
"So, he's just dying to see me?"
Xander had always been outspoken in his dislike for Angel, good or bad.
"Well, yeah." she said.
"But I don't have any clothes with me." he challenged.
"Sure you do." she leaned into the back of the car, to grab his bag, the car swerving dangerously as she did so. Angel grabbed the steering wheel anxiously.
"Cordelia!" he exclaimed. She dropped the bag into his lap, and he looked inside.
"All right, so I have clothes." he conceded. "But why would they want to see a vampire they thought they got rid of 20 years ago?"
"OK, former dead boy," she began.
"Please don't call me that." he cut in. But instead she ignored him and pressed on,
"Firstly, you're not a vampire anymore. And secondly, they're your old friends. They want to see you."
"What are you up to?" he asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, really. If you don't want to tell them that you're alive and kicking evil ass, that's your call."
There was no stopping Cordelia when she'd made up her mind like this, and he knew it. Angel leaned back in the seat, resigned to his fate. He was going back to Sunnydale.
***
It was dark when they arrived. Angel wanted to check into a hotel, but Cordelia told them that they were staying at Willow's.
"Since she took the job for David Nabbit, she's been rolling in it. She uses the money to fund all her witchy fun." Cordelia told him, as they came to a stop outside a large, but not ostentatious house. Willow saw them from the window and ran out to them.
"Cordelia!" she cried, running to hug Cordelia.
"Willow!"
"Angel!" Willow exclaimed, only a little more guarded.
"Hi," he said uncertainly. Willow led them in, pointedly inviting Angel in.
"I'd like you to meet Daniel and Tara." she said, pushing two children forward. Daniel was eight and named after his father, while Tara was six and had bright red hair like Willow's. She was named after Willow's old love Tara, who had died channelling spirits.
"Hey guys." Oz came in. He and Willow had dated in high school, then he left after realising that his werewolf side was more than just a full moon thing. She had then fallen in love with another witch, Tara. But since her death, had become re-involved with her first love Oz. They had married and now Willow was putting her incredible computer skills to good work.
"Do you want me to show you to your rooms now?" she asked. "You must want to wash up after driving down here."
"Sure." said Cordelia. Willow took them upstairs, where she led them to their rooms.
"Tomorrow we're all going out for Xander's birthday. We're going to the park for a barbecue, and then..." Willow stopped.
"What about you......" she said to Angel.
"It's not a problem, he's human." said Cordelia matter-of-factly. Angel glared at her.
"You are? Since when?" Willow was shocked.
"For a month now, since we fought..." Angel was cut off by Cordelia
"Big demon, end of the world, we stopped him, end of story."
"That's good right, that you're human?" Willow asked. For the first time since arriving back in Sunnydale, Angel smiled.
"Yeah. Yeah it is."
"So, do you go out a lot during the day now?"
"A little bit."
"I bet you look at your reflection a lot though." Willow smiled.
"No. I haven't at all."
"Don't you want to?"
"I told him, if he knew how totally gorgeous he is, but he wont listen to me." said Cordelia. He scowled at her. She was clearly in a talkative mood.
"Willow, don't tell anyone about...it. I want to tell them myself."
"Well, everyone's going to be here soon. They've all come to see you guys. Buffy.... Buffy and Riley don't know you're coming." said Willow.
"That makes three of us." he said, shooting a pointed look at Cordelia.
"Well, I'm going to wash up before they arrive." said Cordelia, deftly changing the subject.
"The bathroom's opposite." said Willow. "If you want Angel, there's another bathroom at the end of the hall."
"Thanks." he said, taking the bag Cordelia had packed for him.
***
When he got into the bathroom, he was stunned. It was covered in mirrors, and he was hit by his own reflection. He had a vague memory of what he looked like, but nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. He'd guessed he was OK looking, or Buffy might not have cared quite so much, and he wouldn't have been quite such a woman magnet.
But the face he saw..... Cordelia was right: it was gorgeous in a dark mysterious kind of way. It didn't seem like it belonged to him. Sighing, he put the shower on, and in a few minutes was clean, dry and wearing fresh clothes.
He then bolted from the room of reflections, walking straight into Cordelia.
"Something wrong?" she asked.
"My reflection.." he said hoarsely.
"I was right. You're a babe. Right?"
"I.... I don't know." he said, confused, disoriented.
"Don't worry, you'll get used to it." she patted him on the arm affectionately.
"Shall we go down?" she said. Angel nodded. They went down the stairs, Angel trailing behind her.
"Cordelia!" he heard Buffy exclaim. He took a deep breath and stepped into the room.
Silence fell within a micro-second.
"Angel?" Buffy whispered.
"Buffy. Hi." he said. She was still beautiful. Older, but beautiful. She certainly didn't look as old as she was.
"How are you?" she asked, stunned.
"I'm fine."
"You remember Riley?" she asked him. He scowled slightly in spite of himself.
"Yeah. Hi." he nodded slightly to Riley. For his part, Riley looked annoyed at Angel's presence.
"Hi." Riley said shortly. Giles stepped forward. He was really beginning to get old. A memory of Angel's flashed through his mind- the murder of Jenny Calendar.
"Hello Angel," said Giles in his English accent.
"Hi Giles. Good to see you."
Xander came over.
"Hey man," he said, shaking Angel's hand. If he noticed the warmth of Angel's hand, he didn't show it.
"Good to see you Xander. Happy birthday."
"How've you been Angel? Fought any good demons recently?" Xander asked.
"Er...yeah. We stopped Locanthus coming forth about a month ago." he shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny of so many people.
"Locanthus?" asked Giles, concerned.
"Yeah. Really icky." said Cordelia.
"So, in short, you stopped the end of the world?" asked Giles, clearly aware of who Locanthus was.
"Yeah." said Cordelia.
"And how is Wesley?" asked Willow.
"He's good," said Cordelia. "He would have come with us but he had some family business in England."
***
The gathering went on for another hour or so, in which time Angel became increasingly uncomfortable. Seeing Buffy, beautiful Buffy, was like agony of the worst kind. She was with Riley now, she was obviously happy. Human or not, he couldn't bring himself to ruin the life she'd made for herself. He backed out of the room and went upstairs.
***
The next day was, as usual, bright and sunny and warm. Sunlight was probably the thing Angel had missed the most and now he'd had some, he couldn't stop. He'd woken up early to watch the sunrise from Willow and Oz's immaculately landscaped garden. But the thing he wanted most? To see Buffy in the sunlight.
***
At half eleven, Willow and Oz packed up the food and Daniel and Tara into their car and followed Angel's car to the park. Angel soaked in the sun in his open top car, loving the warmth. He just wished Buffy could share it with him.
***
When they got to the park, Buffy, Riley, Xander, Giles and everyone was already assembled by their barbecue, some distance away. Cordelia walked over confidently, but Angel walked slowly, nervously, toward them. Buffy looked up first.
"Angel?!?!?" she exclaimed, confused and terrified, expecting him to combust in front of her very eyes. Everyone looked up.
"Hi." he said, not having a clue what to say.
"What?" Buffy was speechless. He didn't know what to say. Cordelia, however, did.
"He fulfilled his destiny. He's human." Everyone stared at him, and he shifted under their gaze.
Buffy stood up, and walked over to him. He breathed in sharply as she stepped up to him and placed her hand on his chest. She could feel his heart beating. Oblivious to Riley, to everyone, she choked back a sob and ran off into the woods. Angel stood, frozen by her touch. He looked up. Riley sat there, glaring at him.
"I'm.... I'm sorry." Angel managed to get out, before rushing away.
***
It was a while before Angel realised he'd ended up following the same route that Buffy had gone along.. He saw her some distance away, sitting on a fallen tree trunk, sobbing.
He went up to her.
"Buffy?" he asked gently. She whirled around.
"What?" she asked angrily.
"I'm sorry Buffy."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't know how. And you have Riley now, I'm not a part of your life anymore."
"Is this why you came here?"
"I didn't know I was coming here. Cordelia didn't tell me until we were already on our way here."
"So you wouldn't have told me at all! You would have just stayed in LA!" she accused.
"I don't want to ruin your life. Again. You've got a good life, you're happy...."
"I'm happy? How would you know?"
"You love Riley, you...."
"I love Riley? I love Riley?" she screamed.
"Don't you?"
"Well, yeah," she said, calming a little.
"Wouldn't it have been better just to carry on like before?"
"No! How can that be?" she said.
Angel stopped to look at her. Really look at her.
"What?" she demanded.
"I always wanted to see you in the sunlight."
"Really?"
"Yeah. If it's possible, you're even more beautiful."
Buffy began to stop crying.
"Do you think I stopped loving you?" she asked. He didn't answer.
"I didn't. Never. I sent you to Hell, I killed you. I didn't stop loving you. You came back. You went to LA for 20 years. But I never stopped loving you. Never. Ever. I still love you. I still dream about you. Every day I think about you. How could I be really happy? I haven't been happy, Angel. I've been content, but not happy. Not happy enough to constitute any soul losing of any kind." she joked lamely. He smiled at her gently.
"I can't wreck your life. I can't do that to you again. I can't cause you any more pain..."
"I can't ever see you! That's pain enough!" she shouted. "God, Angel, you're human now. What's to stop us being together? I've waited long enough."
"There's Riley." he said quietly. "Your husband. Who you love."
"But Angel!" she cried as he walked sadly away, back to the park.
She sat back down on the log, tried to pull herself together, and then walked back to the group. She didn't notice the man standing in the shadow of a tree. Riley had seen it all.
***
When Buffy returned, she found everyone waiting, except Angel.
"He went back." said Willow, guessing Buffy's question. Buffy didn't respond.
"Where's Riley"? she asked.
"He went after you." said Cordelia. Buffy's heart sank. Had Riley seen or heard her conversation with Angel? At that moment, Riley emerged from the trees.
"There you are, I went looking for you." his voice was filled with concern. If he had heard her, he didn't show it.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It was just a bit of a shock." she smiled brightly, wishing that no one would notice how fake her smile was. Because in truth, Buffy was dying inside.
***
Angel walked into the desolate mansion, remembering. After the factory burned down, he, Spike and Drusilla had come here. This was where he tried to awaken Acathla, where he came back from Hell, where Buffy had nursed him back to health. It held both good and bad memories for him- the hours spent talking with Buffy, talking as she helped him get well, wishing he didn't love her so much. And it was also where she had fought him, and sent him to Hell.
The house had been nice, if a little gothic in it's day, long before Angel's residence. When he'd been soul-having, and living in the house, he'd made the parts he lived in pretty habitable, he'd been a bit of a clean freak. He had taken much of the things with him to LA, so he just sat and lit a fire- he tended to feel the cold now. He sat, taking in the warmth, realising it was so cold because the windows were all covered.
He got up and began ripping the thick dark material from the windows, letting the sun flood it. As he pulled at a curtain, the pole came crashing down, hitting him in the arm, knocking him over. He lay on the floor for a moment, before noticing something shining under the armoire there. He jumped up and dragged the heavy cupboard away to reveal a small ring. A silver claddagh ring. It was the one he'd given to Buffy, not long before losing his soul. Why was it here? When had she taken it off? A wave of confusion and sadness washed over him.
Suddenly, LA seemed like another world. A thought hit him hard- If he belonged anywhere in the world, then it was Sunnydale. He would refurbish the mansion, make nice, habitable again. It wouldn't be the scary mansion on the hill anymore, it would be a home. In that instant, Angel knew that he wouldn't go back to LA again. Or rather, he would just once- to get his stuff.
***
"Cordelia?" he asked when he arrived back at Willow's.
"Yeah? Hey, where did you go?"
"I went back to the mansion. Cordelia I...."
"No, let me. I want to come back to Sunnydale." she said. Angel laughed.
"What? What?" she demanded.
"I was about to say the same thing." he smiled. "I know this mansion that's available." he said to her.
"Well, it's long time since I lived in a big house... And you'll need someone with taste to decorate for you... I'm in. But what about Wesley?" she asked. The smile left his face.
"I don't know. We can ask him if he...." he was cut off by a knock on the door.
Willow came in, looking shaken.
"Guys? Er...."
"What's wrong Willow?" Angel asked, concerned.
"It's Wesley. He's dead." Willow managed to choke out. Cordelia collapsed onto the bed.
"What?" Angel couldn't believe it. "How?"
"His family just got through to Giles. Er... He was in a car crash back in England. They, his family, tried to get you in LA, but you weren't there. He died on Friday. He's... They already buried him in England."
Angel felt faint. There really was nothing left in LA for them now. Cordelia seemed to feel the same way.
"Well, we might as well come back then." she said, trying not to cry. Willow left, and Angel crossed the room, enveloping Cordelia into a tight hug.
***
A few weeks later, Angel and Cordelia were making the mansion habitable, and Angel now legally owned it. The rest of the 'gang' were unaware that they were moving back. Angel intended to tell them when it was all finished and they could actually move in.
Angel had reverted a little to his old ways- following Buffy at a distance, watching over her. He noticed how sad she seemed some of the time, and hated himself for causing her pain. The new official slayer, Honor, was good, but she wasn't nearly as good as Buffy. From what Cordelia knew, Angel knew that Honor was English, and now she'd been called, she lived with Buffy's mother Joyce. Giles had been reinstated as a watcher now Buffy was no longer 'The Slayer' and now watched for Honor. And unofficially for Buffy. She was now Honor's slaying mentor, and still the Slayer unofficially.
No slayer had ever lived as long as Buffy, and since she died and was revived, another slayer had been called- first Kendra, then Faith, then four more before Honor was called.
***
After a long, hard slog, the mansion was ready. Prior to leaving LA finally, Angel Investigations did one last case for Dungeons and Dragons loving multi-billionaire David Nabbit. And his check paid for the house to be furnished. Cordelia insisted on a housewarming, and so she invited everyone who was anyone in Sunnydale. At least it solved the problem of how to tell them that Angel was back for good.
***
The party was already in full swing when Riley and Buffy Finn arrived. Angel sat watching the party. Cordelia was in her element, but no matter how human he might be now, Angel was still a terrible dancer, and wouldn't dance if his life depended on it. Buffy and Riley approached him.
"Angel." said Riley unenthusiastically.
"Hi! Welcome to Cordelia's party," said Angel. He was at least trying to be perky.
"What you've done with the house is amazing Angel," said Buffy. He smiled.
"It was Cordelia who did most of it. Or rather, she decided stuff and I did the hard work." he smiled.
"We brought you a couple of gifts for the house." she said, handing him a large bag.
He opened it. Inside was a fairly large framed mirror, and a cross.
"You don't have to hang the cross. It was just a joke. Riley thought of it." she said. Angel laughed as he touched the smooth wood, without risk of burning.
"It's great, and the mirror too." he said sincerely.
"Is your reflection what you expected?" she asked.
"No. I expected...."
"To be less good looking than your really are?" she blushed, realising what she'd said. Angel laughed.
"Kind of." An uncomfortable silence fell between the three.
"Well, uh, I'm going to get a drink and say hi to Cordelia." said Buffy, before retreating hastily. Riley stood, staring at Angel.
"Why did you come back?" he asked.
"Why do you want to know?" Angel retorted.
"You won't get her. I won't let you." said Riley.
"What?"
"Buffy. I know you want her back, that's why you're here. But you wont."
"I don't want to split you and Buffy up. That's the last thing I want to do. I'm not here to ruin your life."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. Not every single thing in the world is about you, Finn." said Angel, before walking away.
***
The party continued, with Riley at one end of the room, and Angel at the other. Angel still wasn't used to being human, or being free of guilt- indeed, he was still incredibly guilty for the sins he'd committed. No amount of humanness would ever change that. Angel was still 'that brooding guy' Buffy had mentioned in her high school year book, and nothing would ever change that. Besides, he was a terrible dancer.
He watched as Xander danced with Cordelia. He wondered about them. After all that had happened between Xander and Cordelia, Angel knew that while in LA she missed him. It wasn't really coincidence that Cordelia had never married any of the guys who had asked her, even the rich ones. She was still a little in love with Xander, and still mourned Doyle.
But then, Angel still mourned Doyle. And now Wesley was gone too. They didn't say as much, but both Angel and Cordelia knew how much the other missed stuffy old Wesley. After so long as a triumvirate, it was strange to just be a duet.
***
Later on, after the party, Riley and Buffy returned home, almost in silence. Buffy went straight upstairs, while Riley lingered down in the kitchen.
"Buffy?" he asked as he slid into bed. She was in the bathroom.
"Yeah?" she said, as she came in. His breath caught in his throat. Buffy was still pretty, even when she went to sleep.
"I... I love you." he stammered. He'd said it before, yet now it seemed awkward, as if saying it for the first time, unsure of the reply.
"I love you too." she said. She looked serious. "You're worried about Angel aren't you?" she said.
"Well, yeah." he admitted.
"There's nothing to worry about. It was all so long ago. It's all over. You have nothing to worry about. Really. I would never do that to you." she kissed him, and he smiled.
***
Buffy and Riley didn't have children, they didn't know why. He sometimes asked her if she wanted to find out if there was something wrong, but she had always dismissed the whole thing. He often wondered why, but put it down to her not wanting to bring a child into her world of vampires and demons. But now, he wondered some more. What if it was because she wanted Angel's children, not his? She had told him she loved him, that there was nothing to worry about. But Riley did worry. He hated Angel.
***
Angel lay awake, still not used to sleeping during the dark hours. After an hour's lying, waiting for sleep, he got up, and wandered round the mansion. Cordelia had made it a beautiful house again, light and airy. He found the mirror that Buffy had given him, and took it into his room.
He removed a print of the Birth of Venus from the wall, and on the hook instead hung the mirror. He stared into it, still not used to the face he saw, still not used to seeing anything at all. It had been something he had missed as a vampire, not being able to see himself, not knowing what he was like, what he seemed to people. Then he remembered the vain young man he had been before, and felt almost grateful. He despised the man he had been, both before and after becoming a vampire.
***
Buffy straightened the couch cushions one last time, just as the doorbell rang. She answered it to her mother, Joyce Summers.
"Hi sweetheart," said her mother, hugging her.
"Hi mom."
"Something wrong?"
"No. Come on in." They went into the living room, and sat down. Joyce didn't see her daughter as often as she would like now, but here she was. Joyce sensed there was something wrong, but decided that, if Buffy wanted to tell her, she would do so in her own time.
"Oh, do you know what I heard?" Joyce began, trying to find a subject to talk about.
"You remember that mansion up on Crawford Street? It's finally been leased. To some mystery man from Los Angeles apparently. Nobody seems to know who."
"Angel." said Buffy quietly.
"What?"
"Angel bought it. He lives there now with Cordelia."
"Cordelia Chase? The girl who was at school with you?"
"Yeah."
"And Angel your...."
"Yeah."
Joyce looked concerned. She remembered the conversation she had with Buffy after Angel had told her that the two of them had made love. She remembered the hurt in Buffy's eyes. She remembered all of the things Angel had done to Buffy. She remembered how scared she herself had been when Angel had been at the house. She remembered it all.
"Is he...?"
"Oh he's safe, OK. Not evil. Not even a vampire."
"What?" Joyce didn't understand.
"He fulfilled his destiny. He's human again."
"Oh."
"Yeah. He's back." Joyce noticed the way Buffy's hands shook as she spoke.
"Is that a problem?"
"No." Buffy lied.
***
At Last
***
Los Angeles, California. 2019.
Angel sat beside the fire reading The Divine Comedy by Dante. He was up to the Inferno- Hell. He thought about his own time in Hell, the unspeakable, indescribable pain. He remembered the confusion he felt when he was brought back from Hell, naked. He remembered the look of pain, fear, confusion and love on the face of the girl who had sent him to Hell.
Angel was one of the undead, a vampire. He was now 266 years old and he lived in Los Angeles. He had a private investigations business- Angel Investigations. Through this, he was able to fight demons and keep the streets of LA that little bit safer. He'd been doing this for twenty years. He'd seen his friend Doyle die, he'd seen all kinds of horrible things. But none of it hurt as much as not seeing Buffy.
***
Angel had first seen Buffy Summers in 1996, when she was just fifteen years old. It was the day she was called to become the vampire slayer: one girl in all the world, the chosen one: born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires and fight the forces of evil. He went to Sunnydale to wait for her, and she moved there in 1997 after being expelled from her last school in LA. Slowly, he revealed himself to her, and then, after they fought The Three, he revealed that he wanted so badly to kiss her. Well, she wanted to kiss him too, so they did, and he revealed his vampire face. Predictably, perhaps, she freaked out. But after he explained himself to her, and killed Darla, all was sort of all right, and he disappeared from sight, trying to stop loving her. Until he gave a book, the Pergamum Codex, to her watcher Giles, and they discovered that Buffy would fight the Master and she would die. He remembered how her friend Xander came to him asking him to lead the way to the Master, after Buffy had gone off to face him. At first reluctant, Angel showed him the way to the Hellmouth, where they found no Master, but one drowned Slayer. At that moment, Angel felt like staking himself, but Xander revived her and she then killed the Master.
***
Over the next year, their relationship was rocky, to say they least. Angel tried to keep his distance, to protect her, but fell so deeply in love that he couldn't stay away. Until they had sex. The moment of pure happiness he felt ended the curse and Angel became the vicious, evil killer he had been before. This, not surprisingly, broke Buffy's heart. He taunted her, tried to weaken her so he could kill her. When Jenny Calendar, the computer teacher at Sunnydale High found the secret of his curse again, he killed her and destroyed what he thought to be the only copies of the Rite of Restoration.
Then, he tried to awaken the demon Acathla, who would suck the world into Hell. In the process of getting all the knowledge about Acathla, he tortured Giles. For hours. For pleasure. Buffy came to stop him, they fought and she won, sending Angel to Hell and closing the vortex. By this time, Willow had found the curse, and restored his soul. Buffy had to send the Angel she loved to Hell.
But, he was sent back to Earth and he didn't know why. He had seen and experienced such horrors in Hell that, once she found him, it took Buffy a long time to get him back to health. He still loved her so much, yet knew that to become too close to her would cause him to lose his soul. He realised that he could never stay close to her, and after helping her stop the Ascension of the Mayor on Buffy's graduation day, he left Sunnydale and went to LA.
There he met Doyle, a half demon who had visions, sent to him by the Powers That Be. They fought demons, along with Cordelia Chase, an old friend from Sunnydale. When Doyle died, he gave the visions to Cordelia, who hated the migraines that came with the visions. Another face from the Sunnydale past, ex-watcher Wesley Wyndham-Pryce joined them. They settled into a routine, albeit a weird routine. Then, they found a scroll: the Scrolls of Aberjian. After Wesley translated the text, they discovered that once Angel fulfilled his destiny, fighting monsters and demons, he would become human. He lived for that day, and watched enviously as Wesley and Cordelia aged, and he remained the same as always.
***
He had not seen Buffy for twenty years. He wanted nothing more than to see her. But he couldn't. Or he couldn't before. For the last month, Angel had been human. After the last battle against evil, he became human. It had taken twenty years of demon fighting, but he was. Wesley and Cordelia knew this, but all he wanted to do was tell Buffy.
But he knew what Buffy was doing. She was 38 years old; married to Riley Finn (a man Angel had met, beaten up and instantly disliked) and she still lived in Sunnydale, still kicking demon ass with the help of the new official slayer, a younger woman by the name of Honor. While Buffy must have aged, Angel looked exactly the same. He looked 27, the age he'd been when he was changed. He desperately wanted to see her, but he couldn't bring himself to call her. She had another life, entirely separate from his.
***
"Hello?" a woman's voice answered.
"Buffy?"
"Yes?"
"It's Cordelia."
"Cordelia Chase?" Buffy sounded pleased, but surprised.
"The one and only."
"Is everything OK? Is Angel..." Buffy's voice was full of concern.
The two often spoke, usually to do with work- demons and vampires and such, to help each other out, but Cordelia wasn't sure how to tell Buffy about Angel. It wasn't her place.
"How's life?" She asked Buffy.
"It's pretty good. Me, Riley, Willow, Oz, Xander. And Giles of course. Things don't change much in Sunnydale."
"That's great." Cordelia paused.
"What's up Cordy?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking. I might come down and visit soon."
"You should! I know everyone would be so pleased to see you.
"Really? It's been so long..."
"Only a couple of years. Why don't you come next weekend? It's Xander's birthday."
"Well, I'd have to get permission from the Boss." said Cordelia, referring to Angel.
"But I'm sure I can persuade him." She finished.
***
Cordelia had become like a sister to Angel in their time in LA. When they had first met, back in Sunnydale, she had been the self centred snobby Queen of Sunnydale High. This had begun to change as reality was revealed to her- the reality of vampires, slayers and Hellmouths. At first she had tried to seduce Angel, but gave up when she realised nothing was going to come between Buffy and Angel. Then she dated Xander Harris, her former archenemy, but they split after he kissed Willow.
Cordelia's life had been throw into turmoil when her parents were charged with tax evasion. Overnight, the rich girl was penniless, and went to LA to become famous. In stead, she met Angel again and became a part of Angel Investigations. Over the last twenty years, Cordelia, and Angel, and Wesley had become a family.
Cordy and Angel really were like sister and brother, and often he could sense her visions before she showed any outward sign. With her help, Angel became less solitary, and less brooding, and together, they all battled the forces of darkness in the Los Angeles area.
She was surprised that Angel had managed to stay away from Buffy and vice versa. In their first year in LA, Angel had gone back to Sunnydale twice, and Buffy had come up to LA, always strictly business. But since then, the two had communicated only through the others: Cordelia, Willow, Giles and the rest of the old Scooby gang.
Cordelia knew how much Angel still loved Buffy, and Cordelia knew that every time they spoke, Buffy didn't ask about Angel just to be polite. And now, Angel was human.
Not that he acted particularly differently. Sure, he no longer lived on just a liquid diet, but he didn't go out in the sun, and he didn't buy a mirror. Or anything like that. The fact was, Angel didn't think he deserved to be human again. He still remembered all the evil he had done, and he didn't think he should have been given a second chance.
He had spent so long being guilty, that he didn't know how to be anything else. This wasn't to say he was unhappy- he liked his life in LA with Cordy and Wesley. But he wasn't part of the world, and even now he could be, he wasn't sure that he deserved to be a part of the world. And so, when he became human, he changed very little about his life.
What he did do, was to discover all the great foods he had pretty much missed out on while on a blood-only diet. The pizza delivery guy knew Angel's address by heart already.
***
On Friday afternoon, Cordelia put her bags into Angel's beautiful old Cadillac convertible. As far as he was aware, he was just taking her to the bus depot. But she had other plans. She packed some of his clothes into a bag, and as they were about to leave, made sure all was secure for the weekend.
"Are you ready?" he asked, coming into the sunlight a little warily.
"Yep!" she led the way to the car.
"Angel.....?"
"What?" he was with a distinct sense of trepidation.
"Can I drive? Please, come on. I'm a good driver."
She was always pleading with him to let her drive his beautiful old car, and 99 times out of 100 he said no. If he said no this time, her plans might be ruined.
He thought for a minute.
"All right then." he relented. They got in and Cordelia started the car and drove off.
Fortunately, Angel was a little disoriented, being so familiar with LA only at night, and so it was a little while before he realised that they weren't going to the bus depot- they were on their way to Sunnydale.
"Cordelia?"
"Yes?" she asked innocently.
"Would it be wrong of me to suggest that you missed the turning to the bus depot? Or any turnings at all?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." she said, still innocently.
"Would I be right in thinking that you're driving to Sunnydale?"
"Well, not right exactly.."
"Cordelia!" he exclaimed.
"I thought you could do with a vacation."
"So we're going to that popular tourist spot, the Hellmouth?" he said angrily.
"Lighten up Angel. It's just a couple of days. It's for Xander's birthday."
"So, he's just dying to see me?"
Xander had always been outspoken in his dislike for Angel, good or bad.
"Well, yeah." she said.
"But I don't have any clothes with me." he challenged.
"Sure you do." she leaned into the back of the car, to grab his bag, the car swerving dangerously as she did so. Angel grabbed the steering wheel anxiously.
"Cordelia!" he exclaimed. She dropped the bag into his lap, and he looked inside.
"All right, so I have clothes." he conceded. "But why would they want to see a vampire they thought they got rid of 20 years ago?"
"OK, former dead boy," she began.
"Please don't call me that." he cut in. But instead she ignored him and pressed on,
"Firstly, you're not a vampire anymore. And secondly, they're your old friends. They want to see you."
"What are you up to?" he asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, really. If you don't want to tell them that you're alive and kicking evil ass, that's your call."
There was no stopping Cordelia when she'd made up her mind like this, and he knew it. Angel leaned back in the seat, resigned to his fate. He was going back to Sunnydale.
***
It was dark when they arrived. Angel wanted to check into a hotel, but Cordelia told them that they were staying at Willow's.
"Since she took the job for David Nabbit, she's been rolling in it. She uses the money to fund all her witchy fun." Cordelia told him, as they came to a stop outside a large, but not ostentatious house. Willow saw them from the window and ran out to them.
"Cordelia!" she cried, running to hug Cordelia.
"Willow!"
"Angel!" Willow exclaimed, only a little more guarded.
"Hi," he said uncertainly. Willow led them in, pointedly inviting Angel in.
"I'd like you to meet Daniel and Tara." she said, pushing two children forward. Daniel was eight and named after his father, while Tara was six and had bright red hair like Willow's. She was named after Willow's old love Tara, who had died channelling spirits.
"Hey guys." Oz came in. He and Willow had dated in high school, then he left after realising that his werewolf side was more than just a full moon thing. She had then fallen in love with another witch, Tara. But since her death, had become re-involved with her first love Oz. They had married and now Willow was putting her incredible computer skills to good work.
"Do you want me to show you to your rooms now?" she asked. "You must want to wash up after driving down here."
"Sure." said Cordelia. Willow took them upstairs, where she led them to their rooms.
"Tomorrow we're all going out for Xander's birthday. We're going to the park for a barbecue, and then..." Willow stopped.
"What about you......" she said to Angel.
"It's not a problem, he's human." said Cordelia matter-of-factly. Angel glared at her.
"You are? Since when?" Willow was shocked.
"For a month now, since we fought..." Angel was cut off by Cordelia
"Big demon, end of the world, we stopped him, end of story."
"That's good right, that you're human?" Willow asked. For the first time since arriving back in Sunnydale, Angel smiled.
"Yeah. Yeah it is."
"So, do you go out a lot during the day now?"
"A little bit."
"I bet you look at your reflection a lot though." Willow smiled.
"No. I haven't at all."
"Don't you want to?"
"I told him, if he knew how totally gorgeous he is, but he wont listen to me." said Cordelia. He scowled at her. She was clearly in a talkative mood.
"Willow, don't tell anyone about...it. I want to tell them myself."
"Well, everyone's going to be here soon. They've all come to see you guys. Buffy.... Buffy and Riley don't know you're coming." said Willow.
"That makes three of us." he said, shooting a pointed look at Cordelia.
"Well, I'm going to wash up before they arrive." said Cordelia, deftly changing the subject.
"The bathroom's opposite." said Willow. "If you want Angel, there's another bathroom at the end of the hall."
"Thanks." he said, taking the bag Cordelia had packed for him.
***
When he got into the bathroom, he was stunned. It was covered in mirrors, and he was hit by his own reflection. He had a vague memory of what he looked like, but nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. He'd guessed he was OK looking, or Buffy might not have cared quite so much, and he wouldn't have been quite such a woman magnet.
But the face he saw..... Cordelia was right: it was gorgeous in a dark mysterious kind of way. It didn't seem like it belonged to him. Sighing, he put the shower on, and in a few minutes was clean, dry and wearing fresh clothes.
He then bolted from the room of reflections, walking straight into Cordelia.
"Something wrong?" she asked.
"My reflection.." he said hoarsely.
"I was right. You're a babe. Right?"
"I.... I don't know." he said, confused, disoriented.
"Don't worry, you'll get used to it." she patted him on the arm affectionately.
"Shall we go down?" she said. Angel nodded. They went down the stairs, Angel trailing behind her.
"Cordelia!" he heard Buffy exclaim. He took a deep breath and stepped into the room.
Silence fell within a micro-second.
"Angel?" Buffy whispered.
"Buffy. Hi." he said. She was still beautiful. Older, but beautiful. She certainly didn't look as old as she was.
"How are you?" she asked, stunned.
"I'm fine."
"You remember Riley?" she asked him. He scowled slightly in spite of himself.
"Yeah. Hi." he nodded slightly to Riley. For his part, Riley looked annoyed at Angel's presence.
"Hi." Riley said shortly. Giles stepped forward. He was really beginning to get old. A memory of Angel's flashed through his mind- the murder of Jenny Calendar.
"Hello Angel," said Giles in his English accent.
"Hi Giles. Good to see you."
Xander came over.
"Hey man," he said, shaking Angel's hand. If he noticed the warmth of Angel's hand, he didn't show it.
"Good to see you Xander. Happy birthday."
"How've you been Angel? Fought any good demons recently?" Xander asked.
"Er...yeah. We stopped Locanthus coming forth about a month ago." he shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny of so many people.
"Locanthus?" asked Giles, concerned.
"Yeah. Really icky." said Cordelia.
"So, in short, you stopped the end of the world?" asked Giles, clearly aware of who Locanthus was.
"Yeah." said Cordelia.
"And how is Wesley?" asked Willow.
"He's good," said Cordelia. "He would have come with us but he had some family business in England."
***
The gathering went on for another hour or so, in which time Angel became increasingly uncomfortable. Seeing Buffy, beautiful Buffy, was like agony of the worst kind. She was with Riley now, she was obviously happy. Human or not, he couldn't bring himself to ruin the life she'd made for herself. He backed out of the room and went upstairs.
***
The next day was, as usual, bright and sunny and warm. Sunlight was probably the thing Angel had missed the most and now he'd had some, he couldn't stop. He'd woken up early to watch the sunrise from Willow and Oz's immaculately landscaped garden. But the thing he wanted most? To see Buffy in the sunlight.
***
At half eleven, Willow and Oz packed up the food and Daniel and Tara into their car and followed Angel's car to the park. Angel soaked in the sun in his open top car, loving the warmth. He just wished Buffy could share it with him.
***
When they got to the park, Buffy, Riley, Xander, Giles and everyone was already assembled by their barbecue, some distance away. Cordelia walked over confidently, but Angel walked slowly, nervously, toward them. Buffy looked up first.
"Angel?!?!?" she exclaimed, confused and terrified, expecting him to combust in front of her very eyes. Everyone looked up.
"Hi." he said, not having a clue what to say.
"What?" Buffy was speechless. He didn't know what to say. Cordelia, however, did.
"He fulfilled his destiny. He's human." Everyone stared at him, and he shifted under their gaze.
Buffy stood up, and walked over to him. He breathed in sharply as she stepped up to him and placed her hand on his chest. She could feel his heart beating. Oblivious to Riley, to everyone, she choked back a sob and ran off into the woods. Angel stood, frozen by her touch. He looked up. Riley sat there, glaring at him.
"I'm.... I'm sorry." Angel managed to get out, before rushing away.
***
It was a while before Angel realised he'd ended up following the same route that Buffy had gone along.. He saw her some distance away, sitting on a fallen tree trunk, sobbing.
He went up to her.
"Buffy?" he asked gently. She whirled around.
"What?" she asked angrily.
"I'm sorry Buffy."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't know how. And you have Riley now, I'm not a part of your life anymore."
"Is this why you came here?"
"I didn't know I was coming here. Cordelia didn't tell me until we were already on our way here."
"So you wouldn't have told me at all! You would have just stayed in LA!" she accused.
"I don't want to ruin your life. Again. You've got a good life, you're happy...."
"I'm happy? How would you know?"
"You love Riley, you...."
"I love Riley? I love Riley?" she screamed.
"Don't you?"
"Well, yeah," she said, calming a little.
"Wouldn't it have been better just to carry on like before?"
"No! How can that be?" she said.
Angel stopped to look at her. Really look at her.
"What?" she demanded.
"I always wanted to see you in the sunlight."
"Really?"
"Yeah. If it's possible, you're even more beautiful."
Buffy began to stop crying.
"Do you think I stopped loving you?" she asked. He didn't answer.
"I didn't. Never. I sent you to Hell, I killed you. I didn't stop loving you. You came back. You went to LA for 20 years. But I never stopped loving you. Never. Ever. I still love you. I still dream about you. Every day I think about you. How could I be really happy? I haven't been happy, Angel. I've been content, but not happy. Not happy enough to constitute any soul losing of any kind." she joked lamely. He smiled at her gently.
"I can't wreck your life. I can't do that to you again. I can't cause you any more pain..."
"I can't ever see you! That's pain enough!" she shouted. "God, Angel, you're human now. What's to stop us being together? I've waited long enough."
"There's Riley." he said quietly. "Your husband. Who you love."
"But Angel!" she cried as he walked sadly away, back to the park.
She sat back down on the log, tried to pull herself together, and then walked back to the group. She didn't notice the man standing in the shadow of a tree. Riley had seen it all.
***
When Buffy returned, she found everyone waiting, except Angel.
"He went back." said Willow, guessing Buffy's question. Buffy didn't respond.
"Where's Riley"? she asked.
"He went after you." said Cordelia. Buffy's heart sank. Had Riley seen or heard her conversation with Angel? At that moment, Riley emerged from the trees.
"There you are, I went looking for you." his voice was filled with concern. If he had heard her, he didn't show it.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It was just a bit of a shock." she smiled brightly, wishing that no one would notice how fake her smile was. Because in truth, Buffy was dying inside.
***
Angel walked into the desolate mansion, remembering. After the factory burned down, he, Spike and Drusilla had come here. This was where he tried to awaken Acathla, where he came back from Hell, where Buffy had nursed him back to health. It held both good and bad memories for him- the hours spent talking with Buffy, talking as she helped him get well, wishing he didn't love her so much. And it was also where she had fought him, and sent him to Hell.
The house had been nice, if a little gothic in it's day, long before Angel's residence. When he'd been soul-having, and living in the house, he'd made the parts he lived in pretty habitable, he'd been a bit of a clean freak. He had taken much of the things with him to LA, so he just sat and lit a fire- he tended to feel the cold now. He sat, taking in the warmth, realising it was so cold because the windows were all covered.
He got up and began ripping the thick dark material from the windows, letting the sun flood it. As he pulled at a curtain, the pole came crashing down, hitting him in the arm, knocking him over. He lay on the floor for a moment, before noticing something shining under the armoire there. He jumped up and dragged the heavy cupboard away to reveal a small ring. A silver claddagh ring. It was the one he'd given to Buffy, not long before losing his soul. Why was it here? When had she taken it off? A wave of confusion and sadness washed over him.
Suddenly, LA seemed like another world. A thought hit him hard- If he belonged anywhere in the world, then it was Sunnydale. He would refurbish the mansion, make nice, habitable again. It wouldn't be the scary mansion on the hill anymore, it would be a home. In that instant, Angel knew that he wouldn't go back to LA again. Or rather, he would just once- to get his stuff.
***
"Cordelia?" he asked when he arrived back at Willow's.
"Yeah? Hey, where did you go?"
"I went back to the mansion. Cordelia I...."
"No, let me. I want to come back to Sunnydale." she said. Angel laughed.
"What? What?" she demanded.
"I was about to say the same thing." he smiled. "I know this mansion that's available." he said to her.
"Well, it's long time since I lived in a big house... And you'll need someone with taste to decorate for you... I'm in. But what about Wesley?" she asked. The smile left his face.
"I don't know. We can ask him if he...." he was cut off by a knock on the door.
Willow came in, looking shaken.
"Guys? Er...."
"What's wrong Willow?" Angel asked, concerned.
"It's Wesley. He's dead." Willow managed to choke out. Cordelia collapsed onto the bed.
"What?" Angel couldn't believe it. "How?"
"His family just got through to Giles. Er... He was in a car crash back in England. They, his family, tried to get you in LA, but you weren't there. He died on Friday. He's... They already buried him in England."
Angel felt faint. There really was nothing left in LA for them now. Cordelia seemed to feel the same way.
"Well, we might as well come back then." she said, trying not to cry. Willow left, and Angel crossed the room, enveloping Cordelia into a tight hug.
***
A few weeks later, Angel and Cordelia were making the mansion habitable, and Angel now legally owned it. The rest of the 'gang' were unaware that they were moving back. Angel intended to tell them when it was all finished and they could actually move in.
Angel had reverted a little to his old ways- following Buffy at a distance, watching over her. He noticed how sad she seemed some of the time, and hated himself for causing her pain. The new official slayer, Honor, was good, but she wasn't nearly as good as Buffy. From what Cordelia knew, Angel knew that Honor was English, and now she'd been called, she lived with Buffy's mother Joyce. Giles had been reinstated as a watcher now Buffy was no longer 'The Slayer' and now watched for Honor. And unofficially for Buffy. She was now Honor's slaying mentor, and still the Slayer unofficially.
No slayer had ever lived as long as Buffy, and since she died and was revived, another slayer had been called- first Kendra, then Faith, then four more before Honor was called.
***
After a long, hard slog, the mansion was ready. Prior to leaving LA finally, Angel Investigations did one last case for Dungeons and Dragons loving multi-billionaire David Nabbit. And his check paid for the house to be furnished. Cordelia insisted on a housewarming, and so she invited everyone who was anyone in Sunnydale. At least it solved the problem of how to tell them that Angel was back for good.
***
The party was already in full swing when Riley and Buffy Finn arrived. Angel sat watching the party. Cordelia was in her element, but no matter how human he might be now, Angel was still a terrible dancer, and wouldn't dance if his life depended on it. Buffy and Riley approached him.
"Angel." said Riley unenthusiastically.
"Hi! Welcome to Cordelia's party," said Angel. He was at least trying to be perky.
"What you've done with the house is amazing Angel," said Buffy. He smiled.
"It was Cordelia who did most of it. Or rather, she decided stuff and I did the hard work." he smiled.
"We brought you a couple of gifts for the house." she said, handing him a large bag.
He opened it. Inside was a fairly large framed mirror, and a cross.
"You don't have to hang the cross. It was just a joke. Riley thought of it." she said. Angel laughed as he touched the smooth wood, without risk of burning.
"It's great, and the mirror too." he said sincerely.
"Is your reflection what you expected?" she asked.
"No. I expected...."
"To be less good looking than your really are?" she blushed, realising what she'd said. Angel laughed.
"Kind of." An uncomfortable silence fell between the three.
"Well, uh, I'm going to get a drink and say hi to Cordelia." said Buffy, before retreating hastily. Riley stood, staring at Angel.
"Why did you come back?" he asked.
"Why do you want to know?" Angel retorted.
"You won't get her. I won't let you." said Riley.
"What?"
"Buffy. I know you want her back, that's why you're here. But you wont."
"I don't want to split you and Buffy up. That's the last thing I want to do. I'm not here to ruin your life."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. Not every single thing in the world is about you, Finn." said Angel, before walking away.
***
The party continued, with Riley at one end of the room, and Angel at the other. Angel still wasn't used to being human, or being free of guilt- indeed, he was still incredibly guilty for the sins he'd committed. No amount of humanness would ever change that. Angel was still 'that brooding guy' Buffy had mentioned in her high school year book, and nothing would ever change that. Besides, he was a terrible dancer.
He watched as Xander danced with Cordelia. He wondered about them. After all that had happened between Xander and Cordelia, Angel knew that while in LA she missed him. It wasn't really coincidence that Cordelia had never married any of the guys who had asked her, even the rich ones. She was still a little in love with Xander, and still mourned Doyle.
But then, Angel still mourned Doyle. And now Wesley was gone too. They didn't say as much, but both Angel and Cordelia knew how much the other missed stuffy old Wesley. After so long as a triumvirate, it was strange to just be a duet.
***
Later on, after the party, Riley and Buffy returned home, almost in silence. Buffy went straight upstairs, while Riley lingered down in the kitchen.
"Buffy?" he asked as he slid into bed. She was in the bathroom.
"Yeah?" she said, as she came in. His breath caught in his throat. Buffy was still pretty, even when she went to sleep.
"I... I love you." he stammered. He'd said it before, yet now it seemed awkward, as if saying it for the first time, unsure of the reply.
"I love you too." she said. She looked serious. "You're worried about Angel aren't you?" she said.
"Well, yeah." he admitted.
"There's nothing to worry about. It was all so long ago. It's all over. You have nothing to worry about. Really. I would never do that to you." she kissed him, and he smiled.
***
Buffy and Riley didn't have children, they didn't know why. He sometimes asked her if she wanted to find out if there was something wrong, but she had always dismissed the whole thing. He often wondered why, but put it down to her not wanting to bring a child into her world of vampires and demons. But now, he wondered some more. What if it was because she wanted Angel's children, not his? She had told him she loved him, that there was nothing to worry about. But Riley did worry. He hated Angel.
***
Angel lay awake, still not used to sleeping during the dark hours. After an hour's lying, waiting for sleep, he got up, and wandered round the mansion. Cordelia had made it a beautiful house again, light and airy. He found the mirror that Buffy had given him, and took it into his room.
He removed a print of the Birth of Venus from the wall, and on the hook instead hung the mirror. He stared into it, still not used to the face he saw, still not used to seeing anything at all. It had been something he had missed as a vampire, not being able to see himself, not knowing what he was like, what he seemed to people. Then he remembered the vain young man he had been before, and felt almost grateful. He despised the man he had been, both before and after becoming a vampire.
***
Buffy straightened the couch cushions one last time, just as the doorbell rang. She answered it to her mother, Joyce Summers.
"Hi sweetheart," said her mother, hugging her.
"Hi mom."
"Something wrong?"
"No. Come on in." They went into the living room, and sat down. Joyce didn't see her daughter as often as she would like now, but here she was. Joyce sensed there was something wrong, but decided that, if Buffy wanted to tell her, she would do so in her own time.
"Oh, do you know what I heard?" Joyce began, trying to find a subject to talk about.
"You remember that mansion up on Crawford Street? It's finally been leased. To some mystery man from Los Angeles apparently. Nobody seems to know who."
"Angel." said Buffy quietly.
"What?"
"Angel bought it. He lives there now with Cordelia."
"Cordelia Chase? The girl who was at school with you?"
"Yeah."
"And Angel your...."
"Yeah."
Joyce looked concerned. She remembered the conversation she had with Buffy after Angel had told her that the two of them had made love. She remembered the hurt in Buffy's eyes. She remembered all of the things Angel had done to Buffy. She remembered how scared she herself had been when Angel had been at the house. She remembered it all.
"Is he...?"
"Oh he's safe, OK. Not evil. Not even a vampire."
"What?" Joyce didn't understand.
"He fulfilled his destiny. He's human again."
"Oh."
"Yeah. He's back." Joyce noticed the way Buffy's hands shook as she spoke.
"Is that a problem?"
"No." Buffy lied.
***