I got this idea from a Superman comic, Dear Dr. Cupid, from Superman's Girl friend Lois Lane ≠45 and I have used some of the content here. The Comic and the show, Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman don't belong to me.
Does he love me, I wanna know.
Lois sat at her desk and looked at Clark, who was busy writing on his computer. He seemed totally engrossed in his work and she wondered what he was writing about. There had been no major news stories in the past few days so she figured that he must writing one of those feel-good stories, that he wrote so well.
Lois was troubled about something and she was determined to get to the bottom of it. About two weeks ago, everyone at The Planet, apart from Cat, had been sprayed with the love pheromone and they had fallen madly in love. That is except Clark, Lois had fallen in love with him but he hadn't felt the slightest twinge. The scientist Lois and Clark had spoken to had said that you showed feelings for someone you were already attracted to.
Even Superman had been affected when he'd received a large dose of it and he had kissed Lois but nothing from Clark. She couldn't believe that he'd been unaffected; truthfully what she couldn't believe was that he wasn't attracted to her. She was certain, mostly, that he was and somehow he'd been able to hide it but she was determined that he showed it, somehow by means fair, or foul.
Clark was very attracted to her and she was going to prove it. She just had to find the right moment.
"Good morning Lois, CK, "Jimmy said.
"Good morning," they replied.
"Hello handsome," Cat said, walking to Clark's desk. Clark looked up and smiled at her.
"Good morning, Chief," Jimmy called, as Perry White got off the elevator. Perry greeted them all and then turned to Lois.
"Lois I have a special assignment for you this week," Perry told her.
"What?" Lois walked towards him, interested.
"You're in charge of the Dear Dr. Cupid column this week."
"What? You know I don't do that," Lois protested immediately. "Why doesn't someone else do it?"
"As you are aware, our Dear Dr. Cupid columnist, Betty, got married four weeks ago and she's still on her honeymoon. However the newspaper business waits for no man."
"So let someone else do it." Lois repeated.
"Since she left, everyone apart from you has taken turns at writing the column and answering emails, so now it's your turn."
"Clark hasn't had a turn I'm sure," Lois said. Surely she would have known if he had.
"Last week," Clark replied, "and Cat the week before that."
"Okay," Lois said, "but don't ever say that I'm not a team player."
"Okay," Perry said.
"But," Lois warned him, "If any news worth reporting comes up, I'm off this Cupid thing."
Perry nodded. "Peter from Tech support, will be up shortly to connect you to the Cupid account," he told her.
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"How long do you think she'll last?" Jimmy asked Cat and Clark. They were standing by the water cooler looking at Lois.
"I think she can last the week." Clark replied. "She's pretty determined."
"You're just saying that 'cause she's your partner and all," Cat told him, "but I bet she won't last for more than a day."
"I doubt she'll even last that long," Jimmy said, catching the murderous look on Lois' face. "I give her three hours. Three hours and then she'll burst into Chief's office and throw the assignment back at him."
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Lois sat at her desk fuming; she hated those desperate females who needed help on how to keep the romance in their lives, but for now she had no choice. She saw Clark, Cat and Jimmy standing by the water cooler. She would bet her weeks' wages that they talking about her and how long she would last. Well, she would show them, she'd finish this assignment and do it well. They didn't call her Mad Dog Lane for nothing.
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Two hours later Lois was about to give up; she couldn't believe how needy people were, out there. And how silly, Betty was a very strong woman, to read all this garbage everyday and not run mad.
She opened another email.
Dear Dr. Cupid,
Please help me. I had a fight with my boyfriend, and now he avoids me. How can I make up?
Bad Temper
Lois' first thought was to tell the woman to move on; clearly the man wasn't worth her time. She began to type that reply but then changed her mind.
Dear Bad Temper, Lois wrote, Send your boy friend a pair of boxing gloves with a note telling him that you're tired of fighting him and want to 'hang up' your gloves. If he has a sense of humor he'll forgive you. If that didn't bring them to their senses, nothing would.
She opened another mail.
Dear Dr. Cupid,
My girl friend is a nurse at Metropolis hospital. But I'm worried she may fall in love with one of doctors there. What can I do?
Grow up, was Lois' first thought. How jealous what that man? Did he want his girl friend to stop working at the hospital on the off chance that she may fall in love? Lois was so incensed she didn't bother to reply.
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Two days later, readers were writing to Lois to thank her for her advice, telling her that she'd really helped them make the right decisions.
Dear Dr. Cupid,
I need your help DESPERATELY. There's this beautiful girl I see in the office daily but I haven't the courage to woo her. How do I make her fall in love with me?"
Put flowers on her desk, Lois replied, she'll be curious and this interest might blossom into love.
When Lois returned from the bathroom, she found flowers on her desk. They were bright white and yellow carnations. She looked around the bullpen but she couldn't see who had sent them, everyone seemed to be engrossed in their work.
Just then Clark walked in; he was holding a white carnation. It couldn't be him, could it?
Later that day she received an email.
Dear Dr. Cupid,
I put some flowers on the girl's desk. I think she was pleased. How should I make her notice me more?
Stuck-in-the-mud
Dear Stuck-in-the-mud, Lois replied, wear a bright new tie…and you may soon be tying the wedding knot. She really wondered who would believe such advice.
The next morning, Lois was sitting at her desk reading the Dr. Cupid emails, when she spotted Clark enter the bullpen, he was wearing a bright yellow and green tie, Lois was used to Clark's loud ties but this was screaming, notice me.
"Nice tie," Lois told him.
"Yeah, present from my neighbour, she asked me if I would ever wear it, so I decided to do it today." Clark explained. Lois didn't buy it; it was too much of a coincidence.
She returned to the mails.
Dear Dr. Cupid,
I wore the bright tie, but I'm not sure the girl saw it. What should I try now?
Stuck-in-the-mud
Dear Stuck-in-the-mud, Lois wrote, they say absence makes the heart fonder, maybe the girl of your dreams won't think you're such a stuck-in-the-mud and stop taking you for granted…if you go away for a while, in other words; play hard to get.
Clark left Perry's office and came by Lois' desk.
"I'm off," he told her. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Lois couldn't believe it; she'd just sent the email. He really was desperate to follow her instructions.
"Where are you going?" she asked him.
"Smallville," Clark replied, "A small family crisis."
"I hope you're able to sort it out," Lois told him.
"Don't worry, I will."
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The next afternoon Lois received an email from Stuck-in-the-mud.
Dear Dr. Cupid,
I was only able to leave for a little while but she didn't seem to have missed me at all. Please tell me how to win her, I am in agony.
Stuck-in-the-mud
Dear Stuck-in-the-mud, Lois replied, take the girl to a romantic setting and propose. This way you'll learn once and for all how she really feels about you.
She replied other emails and sat at her desk, waiting. She felt sure Clark was going to show up soon suggesting some romantic outing and then she'd know for sure.
"Hi Lois," Clark said, "What are you doing tonight?"
"Nothing," Lois replied, "you want to catch a film together?"
"No," Clark replied, "there's this restaurant in town that Perry has asked me to check out."
"Restaurant?" Lois asked, "isn't that more Cat's scene?"
"Cat has another assignment, Bill Walton Jr, is in town."
"And Cat is going to meet him?"
"She's the Society columnist," Clark pointed out.
"But Walton is the fourth richest man in the world and he wants to run for president," Lois said, hurt. She really wanted to meet him.
"So will you join me for dinner?" Clark asked her.
"Alright," Lois replied, sourly. "Where are we going, anymore?"
"LaMount," Clark replied.
Lois had been angry at missing the Walton interview but now she turned to look at Clark, he was Stuck-in-the-mud, she was sure of it and he was going to tell her tonight. Clark was finally going to admit that he did have feelings for her.
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The restaurant was everything that they had heard it was and more. After dinner as Lois and Clark were leaving the restaurant, Clark turned to Lois and said, "There's something I have to tell you." Lois knew that she should wait for him to speak but she couldn't help herself.
"Clark, I know." She told him.
"What?"
"You're Stuck-in-the-mud." Lois told him.
"I'm not Stuck-in-the-mud," Clark said. "Whatever or whoever that is."
"Clark its okay," Lois said, "You've been writing to the Dear Dr. Cupid column, using the name Stuck-in-the-mud."
Clark shook his head. "Lois, believe me, I haven't written to that column."
"It has to be you," Lois said, "I told Stuck-in-the-mud to leave flowers on his girl's desk and I found flowers on my desk. You even had one of the flowers."
"Yes, Janice from the mailroom gave me a carnation the other day. I noticed that it was like the ones on your desk."
"What about the loud tie?" Lois asked.
"I told you, my neighbour gave it to me," Clark said, "besides I wear loud ties all the time."
"You took time off and went to Smallville," Lois said.
"I told you, my parents needed me."
"So what you're saying is that you're not Stuck-in-the-mud?"
"I'm not Stuck-in-the-mud." Clark repeated.
"And you're not interested in me, are you?"
Clark looked at Lois, he couldn't really lie to her, he was interested in her but he wasn't quite ready for the put down he was sure was coming.
"I…" he began, it was as good a time as any to confess, and stopped when he heard a cry for help. He looked at Lois, "I'm really sorry, but I have to leave. I forgot to return the rental yesterday and if I don't return it now, I'll have to pay a fine."
Lois couldn't believe it, but before she could argue, Clark had disappeared around the corner.
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The next morning sat at her computer ready to complete her duties as Dr. Cupid. She was still angry that she had failed to get Clark to admit that he did have any smidge of feelings for her.
"Hi Lois," somebody said.
She turned it was Peter from Tech support.
"I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me this evening," he said.
"Peter, it's sweet of you to ask," Lois said, "but I can't."
"Why not?" he asked her.
"I'm sorry but I just can't."
"But I've followed all your advice to the letter," Peter said. "I left the flowers on your desk, I wore a bright tie, even left work for a whole day and now I'm ready for the romantic get-away."
"Oh, no," Lois said. "You aren't, you can't be… you're Stuck-in-the-mud?"
Peter nodded.
"I'm sorry," Lois said.
"My friends warned me about you, but I didn't listen," Peter told her and turned to leave. "Don't worry; I won't be forcing my attentions on you anymore."
"What was that about?" Clark asked her, after Peter had left.
"Trust me you don't want to know." Lois told him. Clark went to his desk and sat down. "What is it you wanted to tell me yesterday, before you run off?" she asked him.
"Oh that," Clark said. "Perry wondered if would be willing to continue writing for the Dr. Cupid column for another week?"
"What?" Lois stood up, "no way."
She rushed into the chief's office leaving Clark at his desk laughing.
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