Kimberly waited for Jason to meet her outside the arena after the karate competition. She was so proud of the three of them for winning the prize money for the shelter, but she knew she couldn't stay. She stood with her back and one foot propped up against the wall waiting for Jason to come out. She heard voices and knew he was with the rest of them. She stood from the wall when they came out and felt like she looked like a lost puppy but who cared, she wasn't sticking around anyway, right?
"Hey Kim," Jason said, "I'm glad you waited."
"You're kinda my ride, jerk," she said with a smile and giving Jason's arm a playful punch.
"Hey, we're going to the juice bar to celebrate," Tommy said, "You guys are coming, right?"
"Yeah, you guys should definitely join us," Katherine said, wrapping two hands around Tommy's bicep and snuggling his arm. The display made Kimberly's stomach turn.
"Unfortunately, I have a flight to catch," Kimberly lied, "but thanks for the offer. I'm sorry guys."
"But you haven't even been here that long," Rocky whined.
"I know, I just have some things to take care of with the gym," she explained and looked at Jason, "I'll meet you at the car?" He simply nodded and she gave everyone a smile and a wave before walking to their rental car.
"Was that weird to anybody else," Adam asked, "Or just me?"
"Yeah, man, is she okay," Tommy asked, looking at Jason.
"Look bro, it's not my place to say anything. She's just dealing with some hard stuff," Jason said, "That's all I can tell you. Look, I'll catch up with you guys later. Cool?" The small group nodded but Tommy wasn't convinced and after a minute, jogged to catch up to Jason.
"Hey, Jase," Tommy said, catching Jason by the arm, "What's going on?"
"Look bro, I know you care but I can't say anything," Jason said, "She's just dealing with a lot."
"I have to know man," Tommy told him, concern filling his eyes.
"Come to my house later," Jason said, "We'll talk."
Tommy simply nodded and let Jason walk away. This was going to bother him. Something wasn't right and he could feel it. Despite everything telling him to try and get Jason to tell him more, he turned and walked back to Katherine, Rocky, Tanya, and Adam.
"What's going on," Adam asked, watching Jason reach Kimberly from a distance.
"I don't know," Tommy answered, looking in the same direction before meeting the gaze of his friends, "But I'm going to find out."
"I don't understand why you had to lie to them," Jason pressed Kimberly in the car.
"Jason," Kimberly said, "Please, haven't we been through enough?"
"I know, I know, but come on," he pleaded, "They care. Especially…"
"Don't," Kimberly interrupted abruptly.
"Seriously," he said, "You can't just…"
"Jason," she snapped and turned to him, "I can't, okay. I just can't."
"He should know," Jason argued.
"Why? He's the leader of a great team. He has them. He has Katherine. He's happy, Jase," she said, fighting the tears stinging in her eyes, "I'm not going to take that from him. I'm not going to bring him down and make him feel all sorry and sad and depressed for me. I'm not doing it."
"He's not happy with her and you know it," Jason said, matter of factly. Kimberly only pursed her lips and continued to drive back to Jason's house.
Tommy waited as patiently as possible for several hours at the juice bar before he couldn't handle it anymore. He said goodbye to his friends and drove over to Jason's house. The windows in the living room were full of light but the upstairs windows were dark. Tommy took a deep breath and walked up the front steps and knocked.
"Hey man," Jason said, "Thanks for waiting. She's upstairs sleeping."
"I thought she had a flight to catch," Tommy said, confused.
"Can we go for a walk," Jason asked, his eyes pleading with Tommy to leave.
"Yeah man, sure," Tommy said and followed Jason down the driveway.
"Alright, so just to clear something up right now," Jason started, "Because I know you're gonna ask; no I'm not the other guy."
"Okay, so what's going on Jason," Tommy asked, "Something's up. I expected things to be awkward but after the fight on Muranthias; man, she wouldn't even look at me."
"You have to understand, bro," Jason started, "This was hard for her. I had to talk her into coming home with me. It took a lot of convincing to get her to come."
"But why," Tommy pleaded, "This is home."
"She's….okay, look," Jason said, turning to face Tommy with a serious expression, "What I'm about to tell you could ruin my friendship with her and I swear to God man; if she suffers anymore because of this I will kill you."
"I promise," Tommy said, "I'll do whatever I can."
"Jason," came a female voice from the front door. Tommy's head whipped around at the sweet sound of her melodic voice and there she was, walking toward them. Each step was like a flower petal touching a breeze. She seemed light as air. And beautiful. Always so unbelievably beautiful.
"Hey Kim," Jason said, "I thought you were sleeping."
"I was, but, um," she began and then she saw him and she froze.
"Are you alright," Tommy asked. She fought the urge to run.
"Yeah," she said, her voice jumping an octave, "I'm fine." She pulled the dark purple blanket she'd had, even closer around. Jason came back up the driveway and met her at the door.
"Why is he here," Kimberly asked, fear filling her voice.
"Just go talk to him," Jason said, "I didn't say anything, but if you don't, Kim, I will. Even if it means you hate me."
"Jason, I…" she began but he raised his hand to her face and then gave her a shove out the front door and left her alone in the dark, with him.
"Hello," she said to the man at the end of the driveway.
"Hello Kim," Tommy said, and walked up the driveway to meet her. He got within a foot of her and watched her entire body go stiff and her eyes went wide and the color drained from her face.
"Oh, Kim, what…" Tommy started to say as he reached out a hand to touch her.
"Please don't," she interrupted and turned away from him.
"Please talk to me," he asked, "Just tell me what's going on."
"I can't." she said and looked him in the eye, "I'm sorry, Tommy. I just can't."
With that she turned and ran into the house, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. She ran past Jason and up the stairs. Jason let her go and went outside.
"What the hell happened," Jason barked at Tommy.
"I don't know," Tommy said, "I said hello and asked her to talk and she…."
"Oh God," Jason whispered mostly to himself, rolling his eyes up to the sky and then looking at Tommy. Jason sat on the step and hung his head. He ran his hands over his face and looked at Tommy.
"First, you should know that there never was another guy," Jason revealed as Tommy took a seat next to him.
"What are you talking about Jase," Tommy said, "Her letter said…."
"I know what the letter said," Jason interrupted, "That letter was bullshit. She didn't meet somebody else. That girl was so in love with you it was almost wrong."
"Then why," Tommy asked. Jason let out a long breath and looked straight ahead.
"She got back to Florida after Christmas and had started training for the Pan Globals. She couldn't get a hold of Trini so she called me and told me that she just didn't feel right. She said she was scared to see a doctor by herself. So I got on the next flight out."
"Jason is she okay," Tommy begged.
"Do you want to hear this or don't you," Jason asked rather harshly. Tommy simply nodded.
"So I went with her to the doctor's office. I, despite my begging, was in the room for everything and I held her hand when they told her that she was pregnant." Jason looked at Tommy and watched his face fall.
"Why didn't she tell me," he asked Jason.
"She was going too," Jason told him, "Honestly she thought it was going to be cancer or something crazy like that. Tommy, you have to know that she was worried that her situation was going to ruin your future. She wanted all of your dreams to come true."
"So why didn't she tell me," Tommy asked again.
"Well, she was getting ready to come home again and she went to the Laundromat and she was their longer than she had expected and was walking back to the dorm. It was dark and when she noticed some one behind her she walked faster but somebody else tackled her." Tears sprang to Jason's eyes and he hung his head in his hands.
"I was terrified when I got the call Tommy," Jason said, "When I'd left to go back to school, she was fine. Happy, even. But I got that call and I didn't know what to do, man." Tommy was trying to put the pieces of Jason's story together but let him continue after he'd calmed himself.
"Her mom called me from Paris and told me that a group of kids found her in the park," Jason said.
"What aren't you telling me, Jase," Tommy asked, his tone darker than he'd expected it to be. Jason gritted his teeth and turned his head and looked at Tommy.
"They raped her and they beat her and they left her to die," Jason said, tears and anger in his voice, "When I got there she was hooked up to all of these machines and tubes and then the doctor told her mom that because of the severity of her attack, she'd suffered a miscarriage….Man, her mom flipped out. Called you every name in the book and then she left. Just abandoned her."
Jason looked at Tommy, who's face was tear streaked but the expression on it was one of anger. Jason took a deep breath and let it out.
"Her mom got into an accident on the way to the airport the next day and passed away. Kim woke up about three weeks later. I stayed and when she woke up, she had to hear everything from me. About what happened to her baby. About her mom. On top of knowing that she was out of the Pan Globals," Jason said, "Tommy, she felt abandoned and scared. With everything going on, I didn't think to call anybody. I was terrified that she wasn't going to wake up. After she woke up, she made me swear never to tell anybody. She wrote that letter because she felt like in some way she had betrayed you."
"What?! How could she…" Tommy couldn't even finish the sentence.
"Tommy I can't answer that," Jason said, "Just go up there and try to talk to her. She's terrified of everything. She feels abandoned and scared all the time. She sleeps with the lights on and she still has nightmares."
Tommy sat on the step and calmed himself before he stood and went into the house. Each step to the second floor felt like he was wearing cinder blocks for shoes. He saw the light from under the door at the end of the hallway and went toward it. Inside he could hear her crying. He knocked but opened the door anyway.
"Kim," he said softly, "Can I come in." She was sitting in the corner with her knees drawn up to her chest and her head resting on them. Her whole body shook from the sobs that escaped her. He crossed the room to her and gently touched her arm.
"Don't," she all but yelled, "Please don't hurt me." She'd meant to say "touch" but it came out "hurt" and Tommy understood just how terrified she really was. He touched her cheek with his finger tips even though she flinched and lifted her face to look at him.
"Look at me Beautiful," he said softly, "Look at me." Her eyes opened, but tears still flooded her vision and she wanted to pull away from him but she was terrified to move.
"I'm sorry," she croaked.
"For what," he asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.
"I tried to fight, Tommy," she cried, "I tried so hard. I couldn't fight anymore. Everything hurt. I'm sorry I failed. I'm so sorry." Tommy couldn't control himself; he picked her small body up in his arms and held her against him. He felt her stiffen up but he never let go.
"Listen to me," he told her, "You did not fail. You didn't give up. You did nothing wrong."
"I lost our baby," she cried and met his gaze for the first time.
"No," he said, "Somebody took that baby away from us. That is not your fault. None of this is." Her eyes fell and he could see her shutting down again.
"Look at me," he said, turned her gaze back to him, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"My mom left. I was out of the Pan Globals. I couldn't fight them off and I didn't want to betray you like that. I couldn't."
"Look at me Kim," Tommy said, "You did not betray me. Do you understand?" He waited until she nodded and then continued, "I would have been on the first flight out there if I knew. I would have fought for you everyday. I will still fight for you. I love you."
"I'm sorry I gave up," she whispered.
"You have nothing to apologize for," he said, wiping tears away from her eyes.
"I just wanted you to be happy with some one that wasn't….broken," she told him without meeting his eyes.
"I'm not going to lie, Kat and I tried to be more than friends but I didn't feel the way she did and I really just couldn't let you go," he said and she looked at him, "If broken means I get you, then I want broken."
"I'm so scared," she whispered, tears still welling in her eyes.
"I'm not leaving," he said, "I'll stay as long as you want me. Even if you don't love me, Kim. Even if you don't want me in that way ever again; I'm going to stay until you feel safe again."
She looked at him and gave him a sad smile and then she laid her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and opened them and stared blankly ahead. Tommy just help her in the corner of that room and she let him. He didn't move. He didn't say another word. He just held her close like he was her anchor. She wasn't sure when she'd balled his shirt into her small fists but she couldn't bring herself to let go. She felt her eyes get heavy and finally fell asleep; but not even the safety of Tommy's arms could keep the nightmares away.