AN: I know it is short, but there is going to be more. I hope you guys love.

Disclamer: I own nothing these charaters are in no way mine.

'How many times do I cry the same tears? How many times do I cry them for the two men I care deeply about? Why do I let her control me? I want to be me. I want to hold the two silver haired boys close to me. I know the deal, but I want to see the world in my eyes, and not the birds

I pray to be myself; yet I am pulled back by my sickly nature. Still she said she wants to help me get better, but I fear that this all for nothing, and I will not get my side of the deal we have.

I am so fearful of Shizuka's actions in my body. I fear that it will cause my death before I can do it myself. It is only added to the pain and sickness that grows inside my buried soul that rest somewhere in me.

I know that I am asking a lot of questions and I actually do not plan for them to be answered. I plan to end it before you get to ever take over me again Shizuka.

I know at least I am hopefully ending the hatred Zero-kun has for me. It will make me feel happier in my eternal rest, and add to the feelings that I have for him.

I am just tired of being sick and away from this world, and is having some one else live it for me. Even if it is someone powerful like Shizuka living it. My body was built for me, and now I realized that it wasn't it was built for her. And I am happily giving it to her.

- Maria'

I finished writing my last words in that small note. I could feel her trying to escape from her hold; fighting to come out. I fought it though I wanted to be free of me so she can live out her life as me.

I pulled out the small dagger that was to end my life. I placed it at my heart feeling the tip prick at my clothing. I pushed the knife in slowly.

"Stop doing this and let me out," Shizuka screamed at me from inside.

"No! Once this is done you can have my body," I yelled to her.

"You do not know this Maria. It could kill both of us," she tried to say calmer.

"It will make Zero only love me more," I whispered letting tears run down my face. Thinking of him just added to the pain I would feel during this, and I loved it all the more.

I slowly let the knife enter me trying to not let the tears fall on my hands. Then it entered it plunged in quickly, even though I tried to keep it at a steady slow pace. The blood was racing out of me looking for every way out, it soon carpeted the floor. Tainting the snow white carpet a crimson death.

I hardly heard the door open as I fell to the floor. I heard the foot steps hit the floor as it ran to my dying body. It was the silver haired Ichiru. He was came to her to make sure his master was unharmed.

I felt his tears hitting my face as he turned me over. The dagger still plunged in my, and my hands still clinching it.

"I'm sorry," is all I could say before it all went black.