Rated X2: The Secret Diaries of Jean Grey

Day 1

I sense a disturbance in the Force. Someone's about to rip it with his...claws???

Day 3

Scott and I am about to celebrate our anniversary as Marvel's celebrated couple. He asks me what I wish for this time. I only want to look deeply into his eyes.

"Not without my shades, hunny. "

Day 5

The whole mansion was stirred. Heard Rogue squeal like a pig (uh, sorry). Logan is back after a long hiatus.

Should I go down and greet him or not?

*tosses coin*

***

Noontime.

Should I eat lunch or not?

*tosses coin*

***

Alright, have to go down. I can't shut those voices out from my head. This mind-power can be menacing at times.

Day 6

Man, look at him. He used to be 5'3 tall in the comic book. Now he has grown up at 6ft and looks like...Leopold?

Day 8

Scott thinks no one in the blue group takes him seriously. He wants to change his handle from Cyclops to something like Apollo. Aww...that sounds quite deliciously cute.

Day 11

Tonight's mental exercise: peep inside Logan's head.

Hmmmm...signals not clear. Subject under alcohol influence.

Zzzzt...zzzzzt!

Drat. He went out to pee.

Day 14

Mental exercise 2: Comparative Analysis

Scott

Eats with spoon and fork. Perry Como hairstyle. Thoughtful. Drinks milk. Doesn't smoke. Cries. Hates math. Flies the blackbird.

Logan

Chops spareribs with adamantium. Kewl Adapts the Linkin' Park look. Thoughtful and wild. Drinks Bud. Smokes tobacco. Cries little. Hates everyone. Can't even use a cellphone.

Maybe I should ask Ororo what she thinks.

Day 17

Been noticing Ororo has become quite conscious with her looks. She wants to dye her hair red and change her white contacts to green. And mind you, she used to abhor skirts now she's been wearing them.

Day 19

Accidentally flipped over Ororo's notes and a piece of paper fell with something written on it: SWORDFISH.

Day 20

Professor tells me that I should join Ororo in a spirit quest in Boston. The president almost got possessed by this dark, tatooed, poker-faced mutant while watching Lakers bust Spurs.

Speculations claim he's a Nazi.

***

Look who've we got here. An angel in devil's outfit and man, he teleports. Emits too much carbon monoxide though.

Day 22

Left Logan with basic instructions:

Separate white from colored clothes. Don't bleach. Silk should be handwashed. And most important, use fabric conditioner. I'll ask Ororo to send the sun up for two hours. Promise.

Day 23

Sent Scott some mental note:

Dear Scott, Boston is a wonderful place. A modern-day Alexandria. Maybe this is where you should study math. It's important that you should learn how to count. Procreation depends on math as I've been telling you. This time you should listen.

***

Scott's signal went out. Professor has turned his brains off. Uh-oh...! Smell trouble.

Day 24

Logan broke the news 24 hours late. If he can't use the cellphone, he could have at least used his brainwaves to contact me. Gak, guys can be so dense.

Day 25

Arrived in Alkali Lake late. Heard the news Striker wants to borrow Cerebro and the Professor doesn't want to loan it. For official use only.

***

Saw Mystique, the me-wannabe in her new hepatitis B-color contacts. And hey, look at that skinny outfit. Wonder if Versace designed it.

***

Message received: Logan: Mystique tried to sexually harrassed me.

Me: Oh? Go confess to Kurt. And come back clean OK? Message sent.

That camouflaging bitch stole Harry's invisibility cloak.

Day 26

Used up all my energy with my encounter with Scott. He has gone berserk and tries to blast me off to pieces!

Darling, tell me this just a joke....

Aaaaacckkkk! That hurts!

This is domestic violence already!

***

Final destination: Cerebro 2 terminal. Jason, my ex-boyfriend, is inside.

***

Ororo entered the forbidden terminal with Kurt. Gave Jason ice popcies. Strawberry flavor.

Day 27

Assignment done. Magneto promised to send me recipes on how to repel indirect mental assaults. Particularly those from Professor Xavier.

***

Blackbird down. Dam's about to explode. Professor can't swim.

See what domestic violence can do to humanity, Scott?

Dang. Forgot to bring my swimsuit.
.