"We were just trying to prove everyone wrong, Bon…" He yelled walking out of the bedroom we shared for a year and a half; following him close behind I also yelled "So that your reason for all that has happened in our relationship?" Dropping his carryon bag I failed to realize he was holding, I raised my eyebrows while he stepped closer placing his hands on my face making me glare into his stunning eyes he spoke "Bon, we never stood a chance!" he yelled back with power behind his voice
"I can't believe you're saying this" I whispered trying to remove myself from his grip with no avail
"We loved, we fought passionately! So if you think..." I snared backfinally he eased his grip off my face I moved back quickly to only bump into the dresser making me lose my train of thought, I just needed to be away from him at this moment. I would not allow myself to cry in front of him again not this time. Taking a deep breath I looked into the eyes of my husband and saw doubt, confusion, and pain. Turning his face away from my view if I blinked I would have missed him lightly going over his lip with his pink tongue then biting down on the bottom lip. I smirked, because he wasn't aware he did this when he didn't want admit or say anything hurtful. Therefore whatever he was going to say would be a LIE!
"We need a break Bon."Yeah, I was pulled a dickhead move but I couldn't keep doing this to her, I knew I hurt her so much already why would she want a fuck up for a husband I asked myself. Coming home whenever I felt like it, never really there when she needed me. These where the things I did to prove to myself that I wasn't the lovesick punk my co-workers and friends accused me of I knew it was only a matter of time before she would tell me she's couldn't take it or things would have to change. I moved closer to her as my head went through series of questions and thoughts I didn't even realized her body was lowering to the floor; I detest seeing her like this especially having to be the one causing all this pain and misunderstanding.
"You mean you want to leave so you can go back to her! I snared as tears began to form as I looked up at him from the floor.
"No, I huffed… that's not the reason", well half was true I admitted to myself I did want to leave so she could give up on me. "That was one mistake I wish I didn't make Bon... but it happened, I will forever try to make it up to you, I lowered myself in front of her to look in her eyes to let her know I was sorry and I meant every word I said. "I thought we were going to try to get passed this and…
"No, you got pasted it Damon not me, and now I have to be reminded of your mistake everyday of our lives because she gets to gloat about carrying your fucking child I can't have!
Tears where coming down my face as I spoke, his look I become formulary with over the past month it was PITY. Poor Bonnie can't keep her husband from his Ex; poor Bonnie can't give her husband a baby. After a year or so we tried to conceive but nothing happen. The doctor said it was stress, I mean how could I not be stress when my husband of only 5 months slept with his EX who had the nerve to show up at my job to inform me of her impending pregnancy.
"Don't give me that look, Don't feel Pity for me Damon I swear everything else I can deal with but when you began to look at me like that I will start to lose it. I began to wipe the tears from my eyes and pick myself up pushing him from trying to grip hold of me. I made my way back to our room and slam the door.
"Bonnie…" I called after her as I heard the door slam. This wouldn't be the first time she closed herself off to me." Open the door Bon ..." SHIT, how the hell did I let it get this far!
"Damon just leave, you have your bag already packed you've made your discussion."
"No, we need to talk Bon I need you to know I love you and she means nothing to me! It was the truth but she refused to believe me
"Damon, just go..." I banged on the door
"Bon, please babe… "I take full responsibility for the dick move I made.
"Damon, I tired and I'm just done fighting for whatever it is we had
"Bonnie, we made a vow to each other and we still have a chance just give me one more chance. I Begged lets continue with seeing the Caroline and working on our issues.
"Damon, I don't know if I can get over this whole your ex is having your child. It's hard and it hurts. My voice begins to crack I don't know if I can be in a room with you and your holding your child and not feel like the biggest loser on this planet.
"I know babe, I know I hurt you beyond words and if I could take everything I've done to hurt you over this past year I would but I can't and you won't let me make it up to you!.
"You want me to stay but you just can't get over I cheated and got HER pregnant. You told me we would work on our issues if I agree to see Caroline with you, but Bon we really haven't been trying either. You have me on a short leash and then your actions make me wonder if you want to get back at me by sleeping with your ex isn't healthy either. I asked you to stop seeing him and you ask why, why because it bothers me, I don't like it…
"Your right…!"
Opening the door both arms around her chest she stared at the floor. "I haven't really giving you a chance to prove to me that I can trust you", and it's not right of me to make demands of a grown man to be home at a set time or whatever else I insist of you Damon! These are things you should want!
Her usual vibrate green eyes now dull and puffy from crying looked at me; I knew I had to make this right. I never want to see her look so defeated all because of what I did or said. I knew I was pushing her right in the arms of her ex who was patiently waiting for me to screw up and drop the ball. Pulling her into my arms I held her as tight as I could, "I'm not giving up Bon, I made a mistake and I'm going to fix this. Her small frame melted into mines, tomorrow we had a lot of work to do with Caroline
Session 1
Lay it all out
So let's begin with why are you two here today?
"Well…, clearing my throat I shamelessly looked to Bonnie for help with no avail
Rolling my eyes I turned to Caroline my friend whom I knew for 10 or more years and the best couple therapist in the NYC area. Damon and I had decided to see a mutual person who knew our history but could also be fair and tell it like it is as Damon would say. I honestly believe he felt more incline to talk to Caro knowing she had a history with me and would call me out when I was either holding back or not willing to just let loose; but at the same time didn't answer take my side. Beside Damon loved her like a sister he never wanted which I was so ecstatic that they hit it off so well my number one guy and number one girl. "What Damon wants to say is where here to see if we can save our marriage among other things."
Slightly shaking her head as she placed her notepad on her lap "Ok and Damon what would be Bonne's reason for coming today since she spoke for you. She grinned while taking a sip of her tea I just glared at her putting up my middle finger making both Damon and her raise their eyebrows in amusement.
Rubbing my chin glancing at my wife "Umm I think my wife would say we're here to honor the vows we made so this is the reason were here… oh and I cheated and got my ex pregnant!" waving my hands as a add on
"Really, you can be such a jackass sometimes Damon. I wanted to reach over and punch him but Caro interrupted
"Wait, did you just say. Sitting forward I placed my cup down and looked between the two
Ignoring the looks from Blondie and my not-so-happy-wife I continue with much bravado "True I can be I won't argue that but you my lovely wife have a very bad habit of trying to please everyone so by me saying the whole vow thing would be your style not because of the love you may still feel for me right Bon!..." I hissed.
"Hello, excuse me Bonnie! I waved in her face I knew it was only a matter of time before she blow up and said something she would later regret
I swear he sure knew how to push my buttons I had to count to 3 to compose myself, finally taking a deep breath "Damon, that's not true I'm here because I need to know if this is worth the trouble and heart ache you keep causing me! Did you ever once put yourself in my shoes or how I might feel about what happened over the past few months No! you haven't you just sit there and think you can smiled, say some comforting words and I'm suppose to forgive you and everything is right as rain. Well it's not Damon, you cheated on me for god knows how many times with a person whom I told you wanted you from the day we bumped into her and announced we were getting married but you wouldn't listen you made me look like I was just being insecure and delusional. By the time I finish I didn't notice my cheeks where wet until Caro handed me a napkin.
Damn I never knew Bonnie and Damon's relationship had been in trouble, they both never spoke or lend me to think anything was going on; there cover it up for what seem like months now. Now I felt even worst because I introduced them to each other and I question if either where ready to move forward in carrying on a relationship as quickly as they did. I knew bonnie most of my life and we were as close to sisters as you could get. Our bond only gotten closer when her mother died then her father made no attempt to be in her life. Closing herself off to everyone and everything, her routine was school work home. But over time and my pushy self she finally started to open up and even found time for love our first year at NYU I was beyond relief. I had my Best-Friend back, she was happy in love, we both attended the school of our dreams after making a promise to move to New York when we were done with High School and we never looked back.
Now looking at the two sitting unvoiced as I ever seen them in my life, Damon was gritting his teeth he was heated I mean you could fry a egg on his head I've witness Damon at his worst and at his best so I knew I had to put them back on track.
"Ok so we got some things out, Bonnie are you okay?" I knew she wasn't but I had to ask for my personal conscious as well handle this in a professional matter. Nodding her head yeah her body language spoke volumes. She placed her body away from Damon's with her leg crossed while leaning on the armrest giving him the cold shoulder. "Damon I need to ask you this and I want you to really think about this before you answer" I stared in her arctic sliver eyes letting him know I'm trying to be both understanding but I also needed him to be very aware of how his words can cut a person down.
"Ok... He answered hopelessly stealing a look at Bonnie before looking back at his shoes.
How would you feel if Bonnie decided to sleep with Mason and got pregnant? I knew this was a low blow but I needed to know if Damon understand the repercussion of the choices he made plus this will give Bonnie a little insight to how Damon feels about Mason friendship.
I started to chuckle "You're kidding, Caro right?" because you wouldn't ask me that!" I felt the heat rise from my chest to my throat. I began to fidget in my seat I couldn't believe she would ask me that
Why wouldn't I ask you that? It's an honest question Damon so please answer
You know how I would feel CAROLINE I hissed. I glared at her
Yes I knew in fact how he felt, he has complained a many of times that he hated the friendship Bonnie had with her ex! "Oh I may have a theory but maybe your wife needs to be enlightened…" I pushed. I knew what I was doing might cause more harm than good but he needed to admit to Bonnie he did care about her friendship with her ex boyfriend, her first love, the first guy she's been with and broke her heart but still hold on to him like a safety blanket. It wasn't healthy and she didn't want to hear that from me so maybe if her husband told her she would finally listen.
This is crazy… I huffed rubbing my face about to answer when she spoke
"Why is it crazy...? Bonnie finally spoke playing with the bottom of her cardigan never looking neither Damon nor I in the eyes. Then she picked her head up and stared straight in her beautiful eyes and repeated" Damon why is it crazy?
I looked at my wife she always had a way of having me lost for words then I turned to Caroline for something anything to help me form some words. Looking down at my shoes, the shoes Bonnie said she hated because when I wore them it meant "I was all about business " I had to smile at that consider where we were at the moment. "I think the whole discussion of Mason is crazy to be honest with you".
Why because we use to date? Damon you dated… she seems perplexed
I didn't let her finish before I sat up and faced her I mean I really looked at her and played attention to not how she reacted to the person we were talking about but how she would defend him. "No it's not because you use to date him and I know you're going to say well you dated Elena..." She cringed at her name. We never mention her name… NEVER! It always cause more harm than good. I shake my head Bonnie you have to understand something when we first started dating you told me your EX-Mason was your first everything... if I thought saying this was easy man was I wrong it was like eating humble pie, so I continued my rant with much malice in my voice I knew she could tell I hated this guy with a passion Your first love, the guy who took your virginity; the guy whom break your heart and who you planned on spending the rest of your life with. I knew going into this you were getting over him and I also knew you still had some ties to him. I never said to you I had a problem with it and that my mistake Bon, I should have nipped it in the butt from the beginning.
"So you're saying because I'm friends with Mason that's the reason you slept with the slimy lying…
"Bonnie…listens to what he has to say please. I had to hold in a laugh while pointing out to my friend, boy oh boy I knew she couldn't stand Elena but know I know to put some money aside for bail because she had that look in her eye like she was run her over with her car
"So I don't get to say anything? She watched Damon then Caroline both shake their heads as she sat back and crossed her arms staring out the window.
"Bonnie no one is saying you can't speak but you really just need to listen right now! I stood up and walked over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder "please don't be like this, give Damon the respect you would want him to give you when you have something important to tell him
She snorted then reply a simply "Fine" turning her whole body toward Damon placing both hand on her lap Caroline walked to her chair picking up her pad writing a few words before gesturing to Damon to continue
I can't even be upset at Bonnie I mean I am part of the reason she has her moments, I spoiled her in our relationship, everything she wanted or didn't I made damn sure she had, because to see her happy was the best feeling I ever experienced. The look she was giving me was well it said "make your point so I can say what I need to say' biting my lip so I wouldn't grin and then have her more than likely set my ass on fire. Figure of speech of course... "I would never tell you to stop being friends with anyone but I need you to stop being friends with him bonnie" I waited to see what she would say but I also noticed how her body tensed up. The only sound you could hear in the room was Caroline pen on paper.
Damon that's not fair... I whispered I couldn't even find my own voice at this point
Why isn't it fair? I wondered out loud. Is it fair that when I come home your on the phone with him or is it fair that when your late from work and I made plans for us to go have dinner you already had dinner with HIM I yelled. So please tell me what's fair my wife
I can't do this… she stood so fast neither Caro nor I saw it coming. I stood and reach for her "Damon stop! She hissed as I held her around the waist. "Bonnie stop running, you run whenever you hear something you don't like how the fuck we suppose to work out our issues if you keep running and I have to chase you
"Then stop..., chasing me... Damon, just stop!" I yelled back. As soon as the words left my mouth I wished they had not. He release me staring at me with so much pain and confusion I went to reach for him but he back away and started to laugh. Caroline looked at me then walked to Damon
"Hey why don't we sat down and try to get thru this.", both began to make me really nervous because I knew from past argument between the two they fought hard and ferociously and then had what Bonnie called Mind-Blowing SEX, but in this case I didn't see any sex after.
"Get through this, she doesn't even want to be married Caroline, well not to me at least, I throw my hands up both knew who I was implying who she would marry."
"Damon...I didn't mean that… what the hell was I saying I cursed at myself
"Bonnie look it's been a good run right… I looked at her shocked face and gave her a grin while making my way to the door.
"No, please I'm sorry, I was upset… I didn't know how to make this right I don't know how we even got here, me and my stupid mouth sometimes. Licking my lips I watched him get beyond his limit with me I subconsciously placed my hand over my mouth to stop myself from saying anything else stupid.
"No… I rubbed my hands together getting more and more upset."You were being honest and how can I be mad at that right. I finished
"Damon, as much as I might run you also try to find ways to leave too! I added walking toward him grabbing hold of the bottom of his crisp white shirt. Hoping he would understand that while I may be wrong in some of the things I do but he also reacts in a way that's not always right either.
"I'm not trying to find a way to leave you Bon, I just can't sand when you won't admit to when shit is bothering you or when it does you just blow up and go running.
"Damon, why did you sleep with her? It was a simple question he always found a way to avoid. I looked up at him hoping he would finally give me the answers I deserved
Taking a step back removing her hands I looked past her to see Caroline also wait for an answer, she deserved the truth. "I slept with her because I thought you were leaving me to be with mason! So I wanted to hurt you Bonnie" that fire had returned in my throat, I felt my whole body light it up like the fourth of July. Watching the hurt in her eyes as I just admitted to wanting to hurt her killed me. But she wanted the truth so I'm going to give her the full truth parts she wants to hear and some she didn't. "That night you didn't come home after the agreement we had over him begin at your galley opening. I knew she remember it was the night we had decided to try to start a family.
"Damon, I swear nothing ever happen between me and Mason EVER since I've been with you, you have to believe me. I pleaded
"So you telling me you didn't end up at his condo with his NYU shirt on? I snared, I felt like a snake as I moved around her ready to attack and stake my claim and infect her with my venom if she lied.
This was getting out of hand I knew neither wanted to go there today, I don't even think they notice I was still in the same room with them. Damon looked like he was ready to kill; he waited for some sign of conformation so he could indeed follow thru. Both he and bonnie was two hot headed personalities. While bonnie was more laid back to Damon's out spoken and more in your face which balance them and the main reason I set them up together. But I fail to realize is how hard they both can love and fight or what they want. And right now they both were fighting to be acknowledged as each other's top priority.
Pls review I love feeback, good constructive fee back..thankx in advance