Amazoness Mayhem!
By: DMEX
Nadda is mine
-Hallway-
Triple H is strolling through the hallway when he hears a savage roar followed by some fighting, random objects shattering and something getting torn
(door opens and Tania comes out)
Triple H: Let me guess, you're blind date didn't go too good?
Tania: Of course not! You put me with a loser like The Miz!
Triple H (as Peter Griffin): well… Time to hit the ol' dusty trail…
Triple H leaves. The Miz comes out of the Green Room, beaten up and with lipstick kisses on his face (presumably by Tania) and is breathing heavily
The Miz(angry): WHAT'D I DO TO YOU!
Tania: Sorry Miz, you aren't husband material!
(punches Miz in the face and knocks him out cold)
-Locker Room-
ADR: You know who's to blame for yer lack of championship gold, Jeamus? John Chena.
Sheamus: Sorry feller! I ain't stoopeed enough ta fall fer yer mind games. If ya want ta take out Cena, do it yerself.
ADR: Don't say I didn't warn you. You'll be sorry you didn't take me seriously.
Sheamus: Same ta you feller…
(Sheamus and ADR are in an Anime stare down and are Chibi. Del Rio and Ricardo walk away)
Sheamus: Jackass…!
Tania: You're telling me…
(Sheamus gets a full look at Tania and he likes what he sees)
Sheamus (wets his pants): My God…! Where have ya been all of me life?
*: Hey Sheamus, mind telling me when the wedding is?
Sheamus (angry, yet embarrassed): SHUT UP CENA!
Cena: For the record, she's very needy in the relationship category. Besides you marry her, you'll get a lot out of it.
Sheamus: Oh, really? And what would that be, feller?
Cena: Think about it… "The Celtic Warrior" Sheamus with "The Amazoness Tiger" Tania. You'd be the honorary perfect match. You two have fun now. And play nice!
Sheamus: 'EY! DON'T LEAVE ME IN 'ERE WITH DIS BOY CRAZY GLADIATOR!
Tania(sultry-like): The term is 'Amazon' but I forgive you because I love you.
Sheamus: CENA! WAIT!
Cena: Bye!
-RAW Zone-
Michael Cole and King are laughing
King: Looks like Sheamus found himself in some "Irish Pickle".
Cole: That was priceless.
JR: I don't think Sheamus found it so funny… Let alone The Miz…
Cole: I don't know how she could turn The Miz down…!
Cult of Personality blares in the arena as the bully of the WWE comes out and makes his presence known. The crowd has a mixed reaction (mostly because 90% of the people can't stand him)
Cole: We are LIVE in the Motor City Detroit, Michigan where 21,000 WWE fans are in attendance tonight.
King: Don't look now, but CM Punk has another "pipe bomb" in his hands.
CM Punk: Before I get down to business, let me just say; that I have been getting a lot of angry E-Mails about what happened on last Monday. And personally, I could give a rats ass about that. Now, on to business! At Night of Champions in 2 weeks from now; I am gonna beat Triple H and when I do: then I will be able to facilitate change around here!
(crowd boos, but some start chanting his name)
CM Punk: And, yes; ladies and gentlemen, I will personally make sure that Public Enemy 1: NARUTO UZUMAKI will no longer be welcome here when I become the C.O.O. of this company! You'll thank me for this later!
(Crowd roars in to boos)
Cole: Good! It's about time!
King (panicking): THAT'S CRUELTY TO THE NARUTARDS!
Love Will Find a way by Christina Aguilera blares in the arena as Tania's Titantron appears and the crowd is on their feet cheering for the boy crazy Amazon. She grooves her way to the ring
CM Punk (while Tania's music is still blaring): -and why does everybody have to interrupt me when I'm talking!
Cole (sweat drops): Oh, boy…
King (sweating, pees his pants):It's hard to miss her, JR. That's 7 feet of pure woman. If that's not sex appeal I don't know what is…
Tania: Would you put a lid on it?
(crowd cheers)
CM Punk (sarcastically): Why don't you go play Dance Dance Revolution?
(crowd cheers and boos)
Tania (sarcastically): Nice comeback, asshole!
CM Punk: First off, don't ever interrupt me. Second, that music you come out to; what, Christina Aguilera; which by the way makes every boy in America want to vomit-
(A/N: No it doesn't!)
(the men in the crowd boo)
Tania: It's a lot better than having to hear a psychotic moron like you!
CM Punk: Psychotic? I'm a sociopath thank you very much! Unlike a psychopath, I know what I do is "wrong" as put by the government or by Triple H. And I just don't care, because I want to facilitate change here!
Tania: Oh, please… You sound like almost 90% of the men I end up on blind dates with… You aren't even husband material. And another thing; you should be locked up in jail for the things you do!
CM Punk: I'm still here, aren't I?
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
(the crowd cheers for the C.O.O. of WWE, Triple H. Some bow before him)
Cole: What's Triple H doing out here?
JR: Hopefully to put CM Punk in his place.
King: Take CM Punk's credit card while you're at it Triple H!
Triple H: Well, Tania. I assume that you have a "partner" in Sheamus.
(meanwhile in the Locker Room, Sheamus is hogtied)
Sheamus (angry): I NEVER AGREED TA IT!
Her tiger, Bass growls at him viciously
(back in the RAW Zone)
CM Punk laughs hysterically. Tania blushes in anger and embarrassment (mainly due to Punk being a complete and total jackass)
CM Punk: Sheamus? Of all people? Next you want 'Berto to be your Bankroll.
(CM Punk continues to laugh hysterically as the crowd boos at CM Punk)
Triple H: Screw it…! You want his head on a silver platter; go for it.
(the crowd is cheering)
CM Punk: What are you gonna do? Hug me to death?
Cena comes out with a very serious look on his face. He gets in Punk's face.
Cena: You ran your mouth and once again, you humiliate another guest host. A WOMAN, no less. I was gonna request Alberto Del Rio's face bashing, but tonight; I'll settle for kicking your ass to teach you to respect women! That okay with you boss?
Triple H: Go for it! Punk, just so you know, I'm taking your credit card and I'm not responsible for what happens to you tonight.
CM Punk (angry): COME ON! WHY MY CREDIT CARD! I NEED THAT TO BUY FOOD THIS WEEK!
(Crowd cheers as Triple H leaves the ring. The bell rings)
Cole: Oh, boy… I think Punk bit off more than he could chew…
King: Hell yeah! I get to watch my new favorite Diva in action!
JR: Need I remind you she doesn't work here?
King: So? She's still a Diva.
(fighting ensues as you can hear CM Punk scream in pain and the crowd cheering. Tania is sitting on Punk's back)
Tania: Forget business! This one's personal!
(She farts on him. Then picks him up and gives him a wedgie, making Punk scream in more agony. The crowd roars into laughter as the referee tells her to quit it)
Cole: Come on! That should have a disqualification!
King: What? I didn't see anything! Do you have one contact in your eye, Cole?
JR: That'll leave ya hurtin' for certain…
Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment
Cole: ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT!
Tania hits Punk with her version on the Burning Hammer: Amazon Supple
JR: She calls that the Amazon Supple! That Burning Hammer she just used…
(The ref tells them to back off and calls off the fight. The bell rings)
Justin Roberts: The winner of this bout, "The Amazoness Tiger" Tania and John Cena!
Love Will Find a way blares as the crowd cheers. But suddenly, the lights goes out and a strange message appears on the Titantron
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!
I'M COMING FOR YOU!
YOU DIE!
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!
I'M COMING FOR YOU!
MY NAME WILL BE KNOWN!
AT NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS!
9/18/11
The lights turn back on. CM Punk has a horrified look on his face for the first time in his pathetic life
JR: What did we just see?
King: Don't know… But I have a bad feeling about this…
Cole: I agree with you…
END?