(N/A: So this was brought on by listening to 'I Will Remember You' by Ryan Cabrera.)
I Will Remember You
It was no secret, the two Nobodies were slowly yet surely being broken a part. Be it because of their own mistakes, or from the circumstances that were forced to live with. What other choice did they have? It was go along with the words of a power hungry tyrant, or be destroyed and trapped in darkness They would forever be walking through the twisted and endless roads. Constantly, they would be trying to find their way to dawn, or back to their quaint home world where they could just sit back and eat sea-salt ice cream, and catch up on the ten years they had lost in their Nobody states.
Saïx knew that the separation was partially his fault, but the plans had not gone as he first anticipated. He had thought that Roxas would have been one easy to manipulate into doing what it was they wanted, as opposed to their Superior's twisted wish. But that plan quickly went south as Roxas slipped into a more conscious state, and with that Axel formed attachments with the boy, causing strain and eventually, a thin sever between Axel and Saïx's own friendship. Their formulated plan was tossed aside out of a fit of pettiness that, if he could, Saïx would regret. But as he couldn't, and Axel went about his business, Saïx was plagued with the loneliness on top of everything else going on in his mind.
The man was cynical, but not without reason. Anyone who knew his true story would probably cringe, or cry. Or something else completely useless. There was no saving him, as his last bit of light was slowly slipping away. While neither of them had said formal good byes, or a verbal announcement of their friendship being over, everything was already clear to the two of them. Perhaps they kept it silent because neither of them truly wished to lose the other, despite it happening anyway. It seemed to be inevitable but they were still loosely clinging to the past. Or at least, that was what Saïx would do. With the belief that Xemnas would not stay true to his promise of new hearts, and with Axel now out of his grasp, the past was all he had left regardless of how pathetic that might have seem to some.
Manoeuvring himself from behind his desk, Saïx thought it best that he start to distract himself before he gave himself too many destructive thoughts. He pulled open the doors of his wardrobe, and started to search through the garments. He didn't know what he was looking for, as he pointlessly moved the black fabric from their shelves, silently sorting until a spot of yellow went through his peripheral vision. Stilling his other actions, he just stared at the stained fabric. It was neatly folded, pushed to the back of the shelf. With a small sigh, Saïx reached in and took hold of it. As he pulled it out, he felt something slip out of it, and he looked down at the item in question.
A lump formed in the back of his throat as he realized what it was that dropped. He made no move to pick it up, almost afraid of what memories it might bring up if he did. He knew that it would be something relating to Lea, and undoubtedly bring him more harm than good; as most memories of the young Flamer seemed to.
His past might not have made too much sense to him from time to time, but he could remember Lea almost perfectly. He just had to close his eyes, and the boy would appear in his mind's eye. His laugh, his smile, the short red spikes. Everything would come fluttering back, even if it was just for a brief moment. The way the other would try and make him laugh, or plan a prank that Isa would have to save him from before he got a punch to the face.
Though there was always one memory that would always come back to him more clear than the others, sometimes it would cause the Diviner pain but other times it set him at ease, reminding him that everything that Axel was doing with Roxas (or at least part of it) was brought on by memories with him – the Winner stick now on the floor of his wardrobe being an easy reminder. He could easily remember the first time the two of them decided to do something after school – when they finally established their friendship.
The two of them were walking back from their school, having stayed slightly late for Lea to participate in his soccer practice. Isa, seeing no need to rush home stayed to watch from the side lines, silently reading in the stands. Surely he wasn't needed, but Lea had asked him to stay so that he would have some company on the walk home, and Isa saw no reason to reject such a request. The sun was already beginning to set in the Garden, and the two of them were walking rather leisurely through it.
As they reached the town square, Isa caught eye of the ice cream cart, parked in the corner close to the castle. Looking between it and the palace for a moment, he turned to look at the redhead. "Do you want to eat ice cream?" He asked, stopping in his tracks.
Lea, slightly startled by the proposition stopped a little ahead of him, not realizing he had stopped before raising an eyebrow. "Why?" He asked, before looking over in the direction of the ice cream kart.
"Well friends go out and do things like getting ice cream, don't they?"
A bright smile came onto Lea's face as the realization set it, and Isa almost rolled his eyes at it. "So yer saying – We're friends?"
Isa rolled his eyes, putting a hand on his hip as the other gripped the strap of his bag with the other. "Do you think I would have stayed after school for someone I didn't consider my friend?"
A goofy grin came onto his face and he simply nodded his head, throwing his bag over one of his shoulders. "Let's get us some ice cream!" He shouted, and started to go toward the stand. Isa stood there blinking for a moment, before a soft smile graced his lips, following after the redhead. 'He's such a loser…' He thought, chuckling to himself as he joined him at the stand.
Before Lea could open his mouth to order, Isa was already doing it for him. "Two sea-salt ice creams please," He said as he held out the appropriate amount of money to cover them. Lea gave him a puzzled look as the treat was held out to him, raising an eyebrow at the azure haired boy. "What? It's not like it's going to bite you," Isa teased, waving it in front of him.
"I've never had this type before," He said with a light shrug before taking a small nibble. Another smile came onto his face, and he looked back at Isa. "It's kinda salty but… Sweet."
After that, going to the ice cream stand had become a regular occurrence for the two, where they would go over things that had happened in the school yard or in class, sometimes things that were going on at home. Sometimes they would stay out much past their curfew, and instead of going directly home, they would make their way to the Fountain Court and climb their way up to the highest fountain, and just stare at the starry sky, counting and viewing the stars while nibbling on sea salt ice cream.
The memory left a dull ache in Saïx's chest, and he clutched the old cloth closer to him. He could easily remember how he felt then, but along with it he felt the nostalgia pile up in the back of his mind. The faint smell of blood reached him, and the memory of dual blades slicing through his skin shot through his mind. It was almost hard to believe how much time had passed since that day, and while parts of were blacked out due to repression, he could never shake the feeling of Xemnas' weapon cutting into him.
Thinking back on it, Saïx knew that he wouldn't have changed anything about it, despite where he and Axel stood now. Back then, Lea had been one of his most – if not the – precious people to him. It was due to a foolish mistake that the two of them fell into this mess in the first place. While he would change that mistake if he was able, he would not change his protective nature toward the redhead.
More thoughts of Lea started to fill his mind's eye, and he stumbled back slightly until the backs of his legs hit into the mattress, and he fell back into it. If he kept telling himself that even if the two of them weren't together, he still had the memories of their times – Lea always said that he'd be immortal if everyone remembered him, hadn't he? – and that would be enough. No matter what it took he would hold onto those memories, everything they had gone through and all the things he wished he could have said, especially as of late.
He pulled his hand back and looked up at the stained cloth, and sighed. He remembered how Lea had given him this in attempts to stop the bleeding, and how frantic he had become over it all. It always seemed like Lea was the irrational one, constantly becoming afraid and over reactive, but admittedly Isa had always found that endearing (and very easy for him to mock). It was also those traits, along with a few others that had drawn Isa so strongly to him.
But the friendship wasn't so black and white with Isa constantly saving Lea from the trouble he'd get into or those simple traits. Their friendship ran much deeper than playing pranks around town or sitting around and eating ice cream. If something happened to one of them, the other would immediately be at their side if they weren't already. They offered each other comfort and support, and they gave each other a shoulder to cry on when that was needed. Lea would never let Isa feel lonely either, as he would constantly be there for him as an emotional crutch – even back then Lea was better at handling emotions than Isa was.
While he never admitted it, it had meant the world to the now Diviner. Knowing that he would always have a friend to fall back on no matter what obstacle was thrown at his face. Lea was always there to take the blow with him, just as Isa was there with him. Biting back a sound of need, Saïx looked back at the blooded cloth above his head. An image of Lea's smiling face flashed before his eyes once more, and he promptly threw the old neckerchief to the ground before rolling onto his side away from it.
'I never got to thank you… Loser.'
(A/N: Any commentary would be greatly appreciated.
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