Disclaimer: i do not own any of these characters at all, any and all hatemail can be sent to and if you want to flame me, go ahead! it will bring me some entertainment!
also i have been told by people that if they made this into a show it would be the highest rated harveybirdman episode ever
Script "Blazin Doc"
Camera view is outside dr. weirds laboratory with the "laboratories of dr. weird south jersey shore" camera inside of lab. Lab is covered in gasoline with gas cans scattered about
Dr weird- "gentlemen behold" holds up stick on fire "fire!"
Steve- uhh… you do know that the lab is covered in gasoline do you?
Dr weird- yes!
Steve- then why do you have fire?
Dr w- to torch the place for insurance money!
Sets lab on fire
Steve- holy shit I'm outta here!
Steve runs away
Dr w- fire good! MUHUHUHAHAHAHA! worried expression on face oh shit I gotta get out of here!
Flaming machinery falls on him
Start Harvey birdman opening
Camera view of Harvey's office, Harvey is reading a newspaper, avenger is eating his lunch out of a doggy bag, his head comes out of it revealing scrappy doo's arm in his beak, then eats it, peanut walks in holding a gas can when Harvey's comm goes off
Secretary- the person representing the man who is suspected of arson is here to see you
Peanut places the gas can behind him and slinks along the wall
Harvey- send him in
Steve walks in through the door and Harvey gets up and walks over to him and shakes his hand
Harvey- hi there what can I do for you?
Steve- well my boss told me to find a lawyer with wings…
Harvey- and?
Steve- smells like gas in here…
Peanut quickly lights up a cigarette and says "new flavor of cigarette"
Steve- well my boss dr. weird is being tried for insurance fraud and I also being charged with setting other buildings on fire too… and I know he did not do that!
Peanut opens up the window and chucks the gas can out while avenger glares at him while a fireball rises in the background
Harvey- ill take the case!
Briefcase between scenes
Camera is in Phil's office and Harvey walks in
Harvey- you wanted to see me sir?
Phil gets up from his desk jumps over it rolls on the ground and stands up in front of Harvey all without pants on
Phil- ha ha haa, Harvey we need you to, well I mean I need you to let this… Dr. Wired? No Dr. Weird get convicted
Pats Harvey on back
Harvey- uhh why?
Phil because the owner of 'I. wana c. u. p.' insurance co. is my friends, daughters, cousins, wife's, ex-husbands…
Harvey- I'm sorry to interrupt… but did you say you want to see me pee?
Harvey backs up
Phil- oh wait wrong eye, switches eye patch to other eye and looks at a chair no the insurance agency is called I. Wana c. u. p. pats chair on back
Harvey- ohhh…
Phil- as I was saying…
Harvey backs out of the room and the bear walks in sees Phil talking to chair and goes over to Phil's desk and sits in his chair, turns toward the window as peanut rappels down to the window says something about how he will miss the grenade in Spanish then chucks it in Phil's office and goes back up
Office explodes
Camera shows Harvey in the prison talking to dr. weird
Harvey- Dr. Weird I'm Harvey birdman your attorney
Dr. Weird stands up and says "gentlemen behold! My winged lawyer!"
Harvey… uh yes is there any thing I can get for you?
Dr. w with a concerned look on his face "I need a tattoo on my back that says exit only with an arrow pointing down!"
Harvey- why do you need that?
Dr. w- with a frightened look on his face "my room mate's name is bubba…"
Harvey- ohh… ill work on that for you, but your trial date is set for next Friday at 4:20 PM
A big pink gorilla walks up to the door and peers through the window and winks at dr. w
Harvey- who is that pink gorilla?
Dr. w shudders and says "bubba… but what time was the trial?"
Harvey- at 4:20 PM
Dr. w gets up and says "HELL YEAH! Tell Steve to bring the green!"
Harvey- OK well I gotta go get your defense prepared
Dr. Weird is lead away by the guards and the hippo sits in the chair and asks Harvey "Did you get that thing I sent ya?"
Outside the prison
Harvey walks out of the prison, a camera shows a airplane flying above the prison and zooms to the inside revealing peanut with a nuclear bomb
Peanut- aww, you are so cute! But daddy needs you to blow that building up so be a good boy for daddy.
Drops bomb on prison ad there is a spectacular explosion as Harvey walks out of the front gate and calls Steve on his cell phone
Harvey- Steve? This is birdman, uh huh the trial time is set for 4:20 PM, uh huh yes before I forget dr. w asked me to tell you to bring the green to the trial, OK? All right bye
Walks off the screen as a flaming piece of wreckage lands where he was just standing
Camera shows birdman in line at the cafeteria with reducto
Reducto- you know birdman my client is Mr. Roboto the owner of the I. Wana C. U. P. insurance company.
Harvey's head snaps to look at reducto
Harvey- did you just say that you want to see me pee?
While talking peanut's head peers up from the serving table then goes back down, reducto points his shrink gun at the cafeteria worker
Reducto- back off the potato salad! I have a shrink gun! Looking at Harvey it's the name of the insurance company, besides Mr. roboto is a small Japanese man… quite small… he is shorter than me…
They sit at a table and while they are eating peanut runs around with a flame thrower yelling "konichiwa bitches!" and sets random things on fire
Harvey- you know Phil wants me to let dr. w get convicted…
Reducto- Phil says lots of things, that doesn't mean that you should listen to him
As people are running around screaming someone bumps into reducto
Reducto- all right that's it! Shrink gun!
Starts shrinking random people including the bear
Harvey- well I gotta go prepare so see you at court reducto
Reducto shrinking objects also "later birdman"
Peanut walks into foreground and looks into camera
Peanut- oh are you people at home watching this crappy show a little cold? Don't worry ill make it better!
Fires flame-thrower at camera
Camera in courtroom
Court officer- all rise for the honorable judge mentok the mind taker!
Nothing happens
Court officer- oh right its mentok the mind taker ooo ooo ooo
Mentok floats in and slams the gavel down.
Mentok- I am mentok the mind taker! Ooo ooo ooo!
Looks at jury consisting of shake, carl, frylock, meatwad, ignignokt, err, oglethrop, emory, the wisdom cube, boxy brown, major shake, and ignignokts uncle cliff (who constantly makes noises through out the trial)
Shake- I could be watching TV right now! He is guilty! OK can I leave now?
Frylock- shake we have to hear the evidence before we can convict him
Carl- I agree with shake there fyrman, I could be at the strip joint getting wasted around naked chicks!
Boxy brown (only meatwad and the veiwer can hear him)- I agree with the fat man… I love pie!
Meatwad- yeah what he said cause… I could get me some beer, plus im tiered of this guy…
Wisdom cube- and then we mooned him… with our cubed asses!
Ignignokt- err after this unadvanced trial let us go steel the judges car
Err smoking- bitchin!
Ogelthrop- emory vere are ve?
Emory- on a jury at a trial
Major shake- shut up both of you!
Cliff- EEEEUGHH!
Mentok thinking- what a bunch of idiots!
Mentok- lets begin!
Clock on wall changes time and dr. w is on the witness stand
Harvey- and there you have it ladies…uh things and gentleman of the jury, precisely why my is guilty of no such thing
Shake- OK fine he's not guilty can we leave already?
Reducto- my turn! Can you explain this good dr.? plays tape of several dr. weird athf openings including the made love to a machine one
Dr. w- gentlemen behold! I'm being tried for insurance fraud!
Mentok- we know that already!
Peanut barges in yelling wait then puts tape in the VCR
Peanut- watch plays in slow motion of dr. w setting lab on fire there! As you can see that spark of electricity there is what set the lab on fire! Shows tape again and a spark is clearly shown setting fire to the gas just before the fire reaches the spot
Mentok- not guilty! Slams down gavel
Shake- WHAT? We had t sit through all of that for nothing! Now I'm pissed!
Peanut- I'm sorry I pissed you off… here is my apology!
Chucks napalm at shake and shake blows up
Meatwad- did you see what that boy did? That was great!
Scene is in Harvey's office
Dr. w- thank you birdman and peanut!
Harvey- you're welcome!
Everyone starts laughing
Peanut- want to know what's even funnier?
Steve- what?
Peanut- I'm the real arsonist and I planted c-4 explosives on all of you! Holds up detonator and after 5 seconds everyone starts laughing again yeah I know presses button and every thing blows up
End credits with peanut setting fire to and blowing up random people and things on the left side of the screen
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