Just a little something that came to mind over the weekend. There will be a part two that will be from Wade's POV.
As for the unnamed man in the beginning of this fic, I didn't have the heart to make it any specific guy from the show, you can imagine any guy you want in that place.
Disclaimer: I do not own HOD or the characters.
Enjoy!
"Why are you doing this?" With a soft sigh, she stopped her packing, thinking over her words. It wasn't the first that time he's asked that question, and she wanted more than need to do this for her own sanity to offer him. Doing this was for her own good, it simply couldn't wait any longer. She put it off long enough. Every other time she'd chicken out at the last minute, not able to go through with it. Pain and sadness is what she recognized when thinking or talking about her childhood home. It was no longer the happiness she had once associated it with.
That had been the very question she's been asking herself for the past two weeks when the idea hit her. She had to know if her first love had gone away, or if she only tricked herself into believing that lie. She couldn't get married if her heart rested elsewhere. At times, she felt lost and that was a feeling that terrified her greatly. She didn't like that it had come to this but not only did she need to do this, but it had to be done.
"I have to know. You might not understand that, but if I don't do this, I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with this big question mark, and I need it to be clear," she told the very man that she was to marry in two months time. "Don't you have someone out there that you need closure with?" It would make this whole thing easier to deal with if he did.
"No, I don't. Closure was there when things ended. I can't see why you're doing this for." It was an ongoing war over something he found silly and pointless; he didn't want to understand her going back to the place she swore she'd never return to because she had nothing there any longer.
"Because things ended on an ugly note, and he was everything to me. Not only was he my first love, but he was my best friend, and I have to do this for me, for us," she pleaded with him, needing him to see why this was important to her. She wasn't doing this to hurt him but rather to stop herself from hurting. "I don't want to be second guessing myself. I'm sorry if this hurts you or complicates things, but I'm going," she stated with finality.
"I'm not okay with this. I can't wait around for you to realize that you still love this guy, and I mean nothing to you," he stated frustrated.
"It's not going to be like that. I'm going to get closure, and I'll be back and we will be married," she assured him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She knew that was supposed to be the plan, but she wasn't certain on how things were going to play out. She didn't know if he even wanted to see her let alone talk to her.
"I'm not okay with this, Zoe, but I can see how important it is for you, so I won't stop you from doing this, just be honest with me when it's over with," he sighed, resting his forehead on hers. "Just hurry back."
"I will," she assured him to both things. "I love you," she whispered against his lips.
The closer she got to Bluebell the more twisted her stomach became. It wasn't just about seeing her first love, but coming back to the one place that no longer felt like home, freaked her out enough that a panic attack set in, and she had no choice but to pull the rental car to the side of the road, the welcome to Bluebell sign sitting before her mocking her.
Several long deep breaths later, she was calm enough to continue on her way. She drove through the slowly awakening town, one destination in mind.
It was a blessing that the place she had parked the car was empty, not that many people made frequent visits to the cemetery shy of 6 in the morning. With a click of the gate behind her, she walked in the direction that she needed to be in. She placed the blanket on the ground, the grass still wet from the dew. She leaned back against the headstone; her feet stretched out in front of her crossed at her ankles.
"Hey, Daddy. Sorry it has taken me so long to come back here," she apologized, looking up at the morning sky, the sun hitting her face through the trees. "It's hard to be here," she whispered, blinking the tears that had built up away. "I miss you so much. You'd know what to tell me, I could really use that right about now," she confessed, bringing her legs up to her chest, hugging them tightly. "I'm getting married and I think you'd like him," she laughed lightly. "I don't know if I'm making a mistake." She let her words end there, content to listen to the world around her wake up. The birds chirping put her at peace, her eyes shutting on their own accord.
Wade entered the cemetery with a bouquet of wildflowers to place on his mother's grave. The car parked in front of the cemetery didn't make him second guess who was there; he knew he wasn't the only one with family to visit that was deceased. It wasn't until he removed the old flowers leaving the fresh bunch there that he walked the long way through the cemetery to make one more stop before leaving that he found the other person that was there.
Everyday that he came to his mother's grave, he stopped in to visit with the man who had acted more like a father to him than his dad had at times.
He froze, swallowing thickly seeing his ex-love fast asleep atop of her father's grave. It was hard to miss the tear tracks that were dried on her face. It seemed he didn't need to stop at Harley's grave today.
He crouched down, gently shaking her shoulder. Whatever had transpired between them, he couldn't take it out on leaving her sleeping in the cemetery. "Hey, Zoe," he said, seeing her start to stir.
"Where am I?" She asked through a yawn, stretching her arms over her head. "Wade?" She questioned, taking in her surroundings, everything easily coming back to her.
"I stopped by my moms, and afterwards I make a stop at your dad's, and well you were sleeping," he stated uneasily, standing up, offering a hand to Zoe.
"Thanks," she offered lamely, taking his hand. "Do you have time to talk? It's important," she quickly tacked on seeing that he was thinking better of it.
"Just your luck that I've got the day off," he said with a sad smile. "Can we not have this all too important talk in the middle of the cemetery?" He had a gut feeling on what she wanted to talk about, and he needed a few extra minutes to get his thoughts in order.
Seeing Zoe Wilkes in Bluebell was a sight he wished for every single day, for the better part of six years, but now that she was here, it wasn't in the ways he wished. She wasn't here to see him to work things out; she was here for other reasons, if the pretty little ring on her left hand was any indicator. He just didn't know if he was ready to let her go.
"That would be good, our spot?" She questioned him, nervously chewing on her bottom lip.
"How 'bout you come to mine, and I'll make my famous double chocolate waffles for you," he suggested, smiling seeing the spark in her brown eyes.
"You know me so well," she laughed. Wade nodded, letting the awkwardness fall upon them. Wade motioned for her to follow him. She quickly agreed ready to be by herself for a few moments to gather her thoughts.
She came down here to speak to Wade but now that the moment was before her, she was having trouble figuring out what she was going to say to him.
She ignored the dirty clothes, the empty beer bottles and the crumpled paper tossed around the place. He shrugged, tossing things from the kitchen counter into a corner.
"Sorry 'bout the mess," he told her unbashful. It didn't matter what the state of his house was in, she wasn't there to judge him and his cleanliness.
"You're really not sorry," she laughed sitting on the stool. He chuckled getting the ingredients he needed out. "How are you, Wade?" She asked quietly, picking at an old crusty stain on his countertop. She heard him suck in a deep breath.
"I've been good, Zoe," he replied, his back to her.
"That's good," she responded lamely. "I've been good too."
"Better than good by the looks of that rock sitting on your finger," he bit out.
Zoe gulped looking at her hands, her thumb gliding over her ring. "Yeah," she breathed out.
"I don't know what it is you want from me, Zoe," he gritted out, setting the frying pan on the stove with a bit more force than necessary.
"I don't want anything from you Wade," she sighed, frustrated.
"It's something or you wouldn't be here, Zoe," he rebuttaled.
"What is it you want to hear Wade? Huh? That I still love you? That I might be making the biggest mistake of my life by getting married to a guy, who isn't you?" She yelled, getting to her feet. "But that doesn't matter because you didn't fight for me, and I guess I want to know why you let me go? We had plans of living happily ever after, and here we are, Wade," she told him defeated, her tears ready to run over. "Was I not worth fighting for?"
"Of course, course you were worth fighting for, Zoe," he yelled turning around to face her. "I just didn't know how to do that. After your dad died, you were so adamant about leaving this town and never coming back that I couldn't make you come back, and I needed a game plan for New York, it just so happens that I'm too late," his voice growing softer. "I never stopped loving you, Zo. However, I have to wonder even if you weren't getting married if we would work out."
"I'm not staying either, Wade. Bluebell no longer feels like home to me; it was hard enough coming now, but I had to do this; I had to see you," she confessed, licking her lips. "I don't know if we would work but I don't think this is the end for us; it can't be," she denied, shaking her head.
"What about your future husband, Zo? You have to love him if you're marrying him. How is marrying him this big mistake?"
"Because he's not you, I love him, but it's not the love we share, Wade. But it has the potential. My wedding is in two months, if I don't hear from you, I know that we won't work out because we waited too long to repair the damage that was made. I will always love you, Wade. And I'm sorry for taking off on you years ago."
"You're forgiven, Zoe. And I'm sorry about the things I said. You were going through enough at that time and instead of helping you through it, I made it worse and that is one of the biggest regrets I hold. I can't stop loving you no matter how much I've tried."
"You were forgiven the night everything blew up on us. I didn't hold you responsible for what you said, things were said in the heat of the moment, things that were true and others that were nothing more than a lie," she said. "I hope with whatever the future holds for us; we can go back to being friends; I have missed you." For the first time since entering the little town she used to call home, a smile broke out on her face, a real genuine smile.
"Time and distance will never change us being friends, Doc," he smiled back. "If you must know, I missed you as well."
She moved to hug him, placing a tiny kiss upon his cheek, seeing herself out. Once in the safety of her rental car, she took a deep breath. That wasn't what she had come here to do. She came for closure and in a way she got it. She could fully move on if that's what it came down to. Everything she said was the truth and that scared her.
After getting home everything went back to normal, no questions about going back home, though she did share how hard, it was to go back and visit her dad's resting place for the first time since his passing six years ago. See told him nothing happened, and that it was good to clear the air.
Six weeks had passed her by, and she had yet to hear a single word from Wade. She had two full weeks before her wedding. 14 days left for him to show up. Part of her wanted him to do just that but the part of her didn't want him to. She was thrilled with the possibility of it happening, and she was scared. She was happy with her life. She was more than fine with Wade being nothing more than her friend.
"There's a new place opening up tonight, want to stop after work and get a drink?" Gigi asked, stopping by on Zoe's lunch break.
"Yes," she answered quickly. She needed a moment to relax; she had been going nonstop for the past month and a half with work and wedding plans that she didn't have the time for her, and she was going to make time for herself and a glass of wine even if it did only last for a few minutes.
With plans to meet up after Zoe's shift, Gigi took off and Zoe got back to work, making her rounds to check on her patients, before being called into a surgery.
She was more than happy to see the end of her shift. The surgery was more grueling than anticipated. The guy had flat lined two different times; however, in the end, they were able to save him, and he was resting comfortably with the help of drugs in his hospital room.
She didn't have a dress to go into a place too fancy for drinks, just the skirt and top she had worn to work that day, and she didn't want to go home to change, so what she had on would have do. She should have asked questions. It was pointless to ask now as they were walking down the sidewalk, a line a mile long from what she could tell was the new place they were headed.
"Something wrong?" Gigi asked, noticing her friend freeze up beside her.
Zoe heard nothing, the world around her fading away into nothingness, her eyes locked on the fluorescent sign above the door. Wade's Place.