Disclaimer: I don't own anything JK Rowling came up with first.
~~~\~~~
It had been three years.
Three years since she, Harry, and Ron had graduated from Hogwarts.
Three years since she had convinced the Ministry to return her parents' memories.
Three years since she had bumped into Terry Boot in Diagon Alley and struck up a friendship, which had turned into a romance.
Three years since her idiotic agreement with The Ferret had exploded into a trillion pieces, scarring her more deeply than she had ever imagined possible.
Hermione Granger was a terrible person, and therefore her life was in desperate need of reevaluation.
How could she be anything but terrible, when Terry, patient and kind Terry, was kissing her so passionately and yet so tenderly, but she had zero desire to strip him naked as quickly as possible and shag him into the living room floor?
She was either a self-destructive prude who could only let loose with the worst blokes possible or she had been ruined for all other men. She couldn't decide which fate was worse, and she was too afraid to find out which was the truth.
So, like the coward she had become, she stuck to nice, safe, reliable Terry like a life preserver in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Somehow, Harry knew something was wrong with their relationship, but she had diligently changed the subject every time he hinted at it.
She wouldn't be able to bear it if Harry, Ron, or Ginny realized how horrible she had become.
Terry moaned as he shifted closer to her, completely caught up in the moment. Hermione kissed him back with enough effort to maintain the illusion of being equally in the moment, but forced all thoughts of silky, platinum hair and skillful fingers back into the solitary cell they belonged.
The guilt and anger nearly choked her, so she kissed him harder, wishing it away.
Terry wrapped his arms around her back, one rubbing soothingly yet tantalizingly closer and closer to her side while the other slowly slid down.
She swore to herself she was going to let him do it this time. After two years of officially dating, he deserved to cop a feel of her arse. She practically owed it to him after making him wait so long.
But just like all those times before, the moment his fingers brushed anywhere near her tailbone, her body tensed and he backed off without a word.
Sometimes she hated how understanding he was.
He broke the kiss and planted chaste ones all over her face, rubbing her back once again.
"It's alright, Hermione. You don't have to do anything you don't want to," he reassured with the patience of a saint.
It boggled her mind why he even stuck around at this point. Two years, and all they did was kiss and give innocent back rubs.
Sometimes she wanted to burst into tears because clearly the Powers That Be were punishing her for ever getting involved with Draco Malfoy.
Sometimes she wished Terry would yell at her for being such a frigid prude, just to acknowledge that she wasn't supposed to feel this way.
She had thought that dating Terry would make her forget about her clandestine liaison and show her how a relationship was supposed to be, but instead she felt like Atlas, eternally fighting to not collapse under the weight of her guilt.
But telling him the truth was worse.
She was a terrible person.
~~~\~~~
"So, what are you and Terry doing for your anniversary?" Ginny chirped excitedly as they sat down at their usual lunch table at the bistro.
Hermione blushed. Ginny Potter, her best female friend in the entire world, mercilessly hounded her with questions about her love-life, now that the brunette actually had one...that the redhead knew about. She was still amazed she hadn't cracked and told Ginny all about The Ferret, but she was definitely not going to bring it up after all this time.
"A romantic weekend, perhaps?" the redhead pushed, undaunted by her best friend's silence. "C'mon, Hermione! I'm dying over here! You haven't said a single word about Terry as a lover! I need details!"
The brunette shrugged. "I don't know, Gin. We haven't really discussed it yet. I think he's surprising me with something."
"And?" Ginny prompted expectantly.
Hermione blushed further, casting her mind around for truthful adjectives that could fit their discussion.
"He's...patient. Very, very patient."
Ginny raised a red eyebrow. "Really? That's interesting. Is he passionate, though?"
Only a moment of hesitation this time. "Oh yes, that, too."
"And your orgasms?" the younger woman asked, as blatantly as the others.
The other kept her mouth firmly shut.
Ginny sighed. "I don't know why you're so shy about sex. It's not going to bite you if you talk about it."
Hermione shrugged again. "I just wasn't raised to speak about it so baldly, Gin."
The redhead pursed her lips. "Well you should learn to. How else can I vicariously live through you?"
"Maybe you should be focusing on your own relationship instead of mine?" the brunette suggested pointedly.
Ginny pouted. "But that's no fun at all!"
Hermione rolled her eyes.
The waiter eventually made his way over and took their orders, but left them alone quickly.
Hermione fiddled with her napkin, dreading a new round of the Ginny Inquisition, when said inquisitor gasped loudly.
"Now that I never expected."
The brunette stared at her friend, warring with herself whether she wanted to look. Most of the time Ginny was just gaping at a surprising new couple when she did that, but her curiosity won out. Did she know them?
She twisted around in her seat and nearly gasped herself.
Not only was The Ferret standing not even ten feet away from them, but he was talking to Ernie MacMillan, a former Hufflepuff at Hogwarts. Her memory supplied her with thousands of times Malfoy had sneered at the mere idea of conversing with a Hufflepuff, let alone smiling at one.
Clearly, someone had locked The Real Ferret up in some Merlin-forsaken place, brewed some Polyjuice Potion, and was running around, having a jolly good time ruining the Malfoy heir's reputation. The Malfoy she knew would only be smiling as he cruelly mocked said Hufflepuff, never enjoying the man's presence.
Suddenly worried that The Imposter Ferret would notice her staring, Hermione whipped back around and locked gazes with her best friend. They were both dumbfounded.
"What do you reckon that's all about?" Ginny asked.
Hermione shrugged and looked down. She was saved from answering by the arrival of their food, but she hardly noticed. Her memories surfaced too suddenly for her to control.
...
"Hermione, may I ask of you a favor?" a male's voice blurted out.
The brunette blinked out of her train of thought and looked up.
The normally pompous Ernie MacMillan stiffly stood before her table in the library and fiddled with the handle of his schoolbag. She was completely at a loss what could make him so nervous.
"Of course, Ernie. What can I do for you?" she asked pleasantly, encouraging him to sit down next to her by clearing off a pile of textbooks.
He let out a breath and quickly sat down, as if trying to contain his rapidly-leaking courage.
"You see, I've noticed for a while now that you're actually very pretty, but I wasn't sure what you thought about me, so I never really said anything, but Graduation is in a month and I'm running out of time if I'm actually going to do it, so-"
"Ernie," she interrupted a tad harsher than she had intended, but it did the job.
"Yes?" he responded quickly, halting his rant. She felt a stab of pity as she noticed his fingernails digging into his palms.
"What is the favor?" she asked as gently as she could manage.
He gulped. "Well, I want, that is to say, would you-" he paused and took a deep breath, finally catching and holding her gaze confidently. "May I kiss you? Just once."
Her mouth parted in surprise that he had actually asked, though his rant had given her some form of a warning. Despite the forewarning, her brain felt a little slow in processing what she ought to do about it.
She knew immediately, somehow, that Malfoy wouldn't like it. But would he actually get angry at her if he found out? Maybe he would get angry regardless out of sheer principle. He seemed to be the irrationally possessive type.
Then again, they weren't a couple, even though she was worried that she was feeling more than lust for him these days. He didn't own her, and she most certainly wouldn't plan her life around Malfoy's feelings, as he rarely considered hers outside of the things he could do to make her orgasm.
She didn't owe him any fidelity, and it wasn't like she'd go broadcasting the kiss around the school. Malfoy would probably never even find out, or care at all if he did. It wasn't a big deal; it was just a simple kiss.
Besides, Ernie was an overall good bloke. His heart was in the right place, even if he came off as arrogant. He had been one of the first students to gossip about Harry being the Heir of Slytherin in Second Year, but he had learned his lesson. He had later been one of the first to announce his support of Harry when he had claimed Voldemort was back.
It didn't hurt that he was nearly as studious as she was, and clearly very intelligent.
She blushed. "Alright, then. Yes, you may."
Ernie tried to smile in thanks, but it ended up making him look a little ill due to his nerves. She inched closer to him, trying to calm him , and eventually he gathered his courage enough to meet her the rest of the way.
It was...nice. Not too wet or too dry. Chaste, just lips on lips. She felt nothing, but decided that she might as well give it a true go to make sure there was nothing there. She knew she and Malfoy wouldn't keep their arrangement going forever, and maybe Ernie could be The One.
She lightly flicked her tongue against his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He opened immediately and their tongues met.
That part only lasted about five seconds before they both pulled back.
Nothing.
"Did you...er...feel...?" he stuttered awkwardly. It was almost funny to see him be anything than his usual composed self. She hid her smirk behind a sad smile.
"Anything? No. Did you?"
He shook his head and heaved a sigh. She couldn't tell if he was more disappointed or relieved.
"Thank you for trying, Hermione. You'll make a lucky bloke truly happy one day."
"And you, Ernie. There's a lucky woman just waiting for you somewhere. I'm sure of it."
He smiled, too. "See you at the next Prefects meeting, then?"
She nodded. "Absolutely."
~~~\~~~
Hermione was troubled as she made her way to the empty classroom Malfoy had designated as their next meeting spot. He had hinted last time that something extremely fun was going to happen this time, so her imagination had run amok trying to guess what it could be. Her excitement increased exponentially the closer she got to the spot.
This was what worried her. She wasn't really thinking about the shagging anymore. She was excited to see him. Not to mention that every time she kissed him, she felt like she was either drowning or aflame, perhaps both, and yet never wanted to stop. It felt so drastically different from what she had felt with Ernie that she was worried she might be falling in love.
It was such a ridiculous notion, falling in love with Draco Malfoy, but there were signs. He wasn't being as much of a git as he used to be, excluding his arrogance of course. He seemed to show the slightest bit more concern for her, sometimes staying an extra couple moments before dressing and leaving. Other times he'd ask her how she approached the homework for a specific class and end up debating theories with her. Still other times he'd even go so far as to hold the door open for her if they left at the same time.
But those were all tiny, insignificant things that could be easily explained away, as he always did when she dared to tease him about them. Then he'd thoroughly distract her by making a sexual innuendo out of it and overwhelming her until she forgot her own name.
That was another problem. She didn't want this arrangement to stop, even though she knew it had to at some point. They might be in danger of becoming fond of each other, but they would never be able to become a true couple. Too much had happened, had been said on both sides. He didn't insult her as maliciously anymore, but the words still hung between them like a cloud of poisonous smoke. They could ignore it for the sake of their lust, but never for anything more substantial.
She had been intrigued to walk in and see nothing unusual, except for Malfoy pacing in front of the professor's desk, hands fisted behind his back.
"Malfoy?" She wanted to ask if he was alright, but held her tongue. He wouldn't appreciate it, because they weren't supposed to care that much. "Where's this surprise you hinted at?" she asked instead, looking around the room again.
He stopped pacing, glaring at her. "Did you think I wouldn't find out?" he demanded.
She frowned. An image of kissing Ernie flashed through her mind, but she didn't want to believe that had upset him this much. Actually, now that she was looking directly at him, 'upset' seemed a bit of an understatement. He looked furious.
"Find out about what?"
"Playing dumb doesn't suit you, Granger," he bit out, "so don't bother. I saw you do it, and even if I hadn't, I still would have found out. You can't hide anything from me."
Guilt welled up in her stomach. Apparently, he did mind very much that she had kissed another boy, even though by his own rules he shouldn't. But she had already played dumb, and she wasn't willing to back out now.
"I'm not playing dumb," she lied. "I'm trying to figure out what you're talking about, but I don't think you could be any vaguer."
"MacMillan," he hissed. "The tosser wasn't even trying to keep it to himself, telling anyone within hearing distance yesterday how lovely," he spat, "you were about the whole thing."
She was admittedly surprised that Ernie had talked about it, but then again, as far as anyone else knew, she wasn't dating anyone, was she?
Which reminded her that Malfoy didn't have a claim on her, and therefore had no right to be this upset. But she stupidly hoped that maybe he had developed feelings just as she had.
"I thought you said right from the beginning that this didn't mean anything!" she challenged him, silently begging him to admit feeling anything other than lust for her.
He strode up to her, grabbing her chin and tilting it up toward him forcefully, but not quite enough to hurt.
"I don't like anyone touching my things."
Alright, a slight amendment to her earlier statement. She wanted him to feel something other than lust and self-entitled possessiveness.
She glared. "I am not your toy!"
He stayed silent, breathing heavily for a minute, before wiping his expression clean and replacing it with the one she hated the most: cold indifference. He let go of her and stepped back.
"You're right. You're not mine, not anymore. I've grown bored of you, so I release you from our arrangement."
He turned to leave, and her heart stopped. That couldn't be the end of it. Not so soon.
"That's it?" she blurted.
He slowly turned his head to the side. "What more is there? We're graduating in a month, and all you're good for is homework and shagging. Unless you want to beg me to change my mind?"
Her expression hardened even as her heart started cracking. "Of course not. That's perfectly fine with me."
He jerked his chin down in a curt nod. "Right then. See you, Mudblood. Or not."
The boom of the door closing behind him shattered her hope into a thousand tiny shards scattered across the floor.
...
That day she had learned that she couldn't trust her own feelings, her own common sense, when it came to sex. She had made the most obvious and grievous error of mistaking lust for affection, and it had exploded right in her face.
Terry was a good person. He loved her. She loved him, even, just not romantically. Just like Ernie, she had thought something might have been there, but this time, because of that lesson she had learned, she kept with it, hoping she could grow to love Terry in time, the way a girlfriend was supposed to. Terry would never toss her aside like yesterday's news. He was just what she needed.
So why the bloody hell couldn't she be smart about this and be attracted to him? Things would be so perfect if only she could channel the attraction she had felt for The Ferret into a similar emotion for Terry.
If only.
"...but I still can't believe it! Malfoy! I have half a mind to go over there and ask him about it, but he looks so occupied with the conversation and I don't want to be rude. What do you think? Oh! Look, Ernie's walking away. I think I'll go ask him."
Hermione couldn't believe she had zoned out on Ginny like that, but was even more appalled at her best friend's decision.
"What? No! He's still a prat, I'm sure. He'll only insult you!"
The redhead shrugged. "Maybe, but I won't know until I try, will I? Coming?"
The brunette frantically shook her head. Glancing at him brought back enough scarring memories, she didn't need to make it worse by approaching him. That would be masochistic.
Three minutes were incredibly long when one was expecting to hear shouts of outrage and insults that never came.
"Well, that was unexpected," Ginny announced, returning to her seat.
"He didn't insult you?"
"No, not once. He apologized, even...well, as close as Draco Malfoy ever gets to apologizing, I suppose, but that wasn't even the strangest thing, which is saying something."
Hermione couldn't not ask. "What was the strangest thing?"
"The moment I mentioned your name, he reverted back to his old self, became very stand-offish. He was perfectly civil, a bit friendly, even, talking to Ernie and then to me, but something about you just...I don't know, really. I can't fathom why he would still hate you after all this time if he can make friends with a Hufflepuff, you know?"
She was right; it did sound strange to an outside perspective. Perhaps it was because of their history together, combined with the spectacular way their fling ended. But if he had ended it because he hadn't felt anything for her, then why would he hate her now? Had he truly hated her all along? Had he only been pretending not to hate her during their fling, but now they were over, he went back to old habits? Or maybe he had been so jealous of her kiss with Ernie that he had convinced himself he didn't feel anything and had ended it, so now he hated her for making him feel something other than lust?
No, that last one was just crazy talk. That was the problem with him. He had a way of messing with her head in a way nobody else could. She was getting a headache just pondering his motivations. Besides, if he was so outraged by her kissing Ernie, then he wouldn't have bothered being friendly with the Hufflepuff.
It didn't matter, anyway. She wasn't ever going to talk to him again, so it didn't matter if he hated her or not. That was that.
"Maybe he's still bitter that you got better marks than him?" Ginny theorized, oblivious to Hermione's discomfort.
"Maybe," the brunette agreed absently.
Fortunately, the redhead accepted the answer and dropped the subject.
~~~\~~~
"Hannah! Did you hear?" Mariah gasped, looking like she had run all the way from the Atrium to their department.
This was the only aspect of her job that Hermione disliked: the gossiping. When they weren't lobbying for house elf and centaur rights (soon to be working with merpeople, hopefully!), the other women in her department gossiped like old crones did about their relatives.
"No, what?" Hannah Abbot prompted, halting her filing.
"Ernie MacMillan and Draco Malfoy got into a heated argument a half hour ago, right in the middle of the corridor! MacMillan was bringing some files to the Wizengamot for their next trial when they bumped into each other. And, well, you know how Malfoy doesn't liked to be bumped into, literally."
"Oh no! Was it terrible?"
"Oh it was awful!" Mariah gushed. "I wasn't there at the time, so I heard it from Emma in the MLE office, but she heard the whole thing, and told me that they were being perfectly snarky about the mishap, and it almost evolved into a duel!"
Hannah gasped again.
"But fortunately, MacMillan was the bigger wizard and cooled things down before it got that far. But Malfoy sure is a right git, isn't he?"
Hannah nodded. "It's such a shame he's so handsome, with a short temper like that..."
"Mm. Oh, but he is gorgeous, isn't he?"
"I wish someone like him would even glance my way once in a while, you know?"
"Me, too. I don't care what sort of git he is, with a face like that. And that smirk!"
Both witches sighed, causing Hermione to almost snap her quill in anger. She wanted to believe she was simply disgusted that these witches were saying such things because they didn't know what they were talking about. If Malfoy even glanced their way, as they wanted, they wouldn't wish for his attitude so much. They would realize what the true definition of a git was, not this bad boy fantasy they had in their heads.
But, unfortunately, she knew better. While she was indeed angry at them for romanticizing him, she was more jealous than anything. She wasn't over him like she wanted to be, even though she had no reason to want him still. He had rejected her, made it perfectly clear he wanted nothing to do with her, and yet she still felt some sort of claim on him because they had been so intimate.
He had been her first and her only, and she found it wasn't an attachment, however unintentional, that was so easily shaken off or ignored. So she paused in her writing, willing her anger to subside. She was done with Draco Malfoy. He meant nothing to her. She was going to keep reminding herself of these facts until she stopped caring every time his name popped up in conversation, which was starting to become far too frequent.
"Hermione, don't you think so, too?"
She blinked, startled out of her thoughts by the sound of her name. "What?"
"Don't you think Malfoy would be a good lay?"
Mariah had constantly tried to get Hermione to gossip with them, but little did she know, that was the worst question she could have asked the brunette.
Hermione hardened her expression, remembering exactly how good he was.
"I think he is and always will be a Slytherin," she responded instead.
She let Hannah and Mariah try to puzzle out her response, the irritation welling back up. Couldn't the dunces take a hint? Malfoy had no interest in anyone he couldn't taunt or play for a fool. Hannah had even been in their year at Hogwarts, in Hufflepuff, but clearly she hadn't paid attention to Malfoy's personality at all. Hermione supposed she ought be the last person to judge anyone for fantasizing about his body, but to completely ignore his ego and wish for his attention? That was completely mad! Didn't anyone remember the Hogwarts motto? 'Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus.' A sleeping dragon must never be tickled! And here they were, hoping to poke it in the eye to get its attention! Idiots, the lot of them!
Hannah frowned in a combination of pity and confusion. "Hermione, are you still not over what had happened in our last year?"
For a few moments, Hermione panicked at the thought that Malfoy might have told the entire school about their arrangement. But then she reasoned that she would have known, as the gossips definitely would have pestered her about the truth of such a rumour. Since nobody had said a thing to her, it must be safe to assume Hannah meant something else. Right?
Hermione's silence prompted the Hufflepuff to clarify. "You know, how Malfoy had told the entire school that you slept together?" She leaned toward Mariah, who looked very interested. "Oh, that's right! You weren't there. Malfoy spread this rumour that he had shagged her, but Hermione denied the whole thing, and eventually he got bored and told everyone he had lied just to mess with her. She's apparently still a little sore about it."
Then she turned back to the brunette. "Chin up, Hermione, yeah? He told everyone the truth in the end, right? It's not so bad. Nobody thinks any less of you, since he's the one who lied."
Hermione had absolutely no idea how to respond. Of course she wasn't going to correct her old classmate, but she didn't dare open her mouth, lest something incriminating pop out.
Finally, she simply shrugged noncommittally, and continued on with her work, ignoring the gossips, who shot her a look and then moved on.
~~~\~~~
The day before her and Terry's anniversary, which she was somewhat dreading, Hermione was rudely interrupted by Mariah once again, but for a completely different reason.
"Hermione!" Mariah exclaimed, bursting through the office door. "Come quick! Something's happened! Terry's asking for you."
The lack of any more information only exacerbated her existing anxiety, so the brunette hurried to follow the blonde through the hallways until they reached the emergency medical care room, which was used for injuries that required immediate attention, but did not need the expertise of St. Mungo's.
Her boyfriend was lying down on one of the beds, holding a bloody tissue in one hand and being hovered over by one of the more medically-inclined Aurors. Justin Finch-Fletchley stood at the door and explained to her that Boot and Malfoy had gotten into a fight.
Sure enough, when Hermione turned her head, she found Malfoy lying on the bed on the other side of the room, being checked out as well. He snapped at the Auror attending him through a busted lip, assuring him he was perfectly capable of surviving a small cut.
Hermione was not surprised that Malfoy was causing trouble again, but she couldn't help but wonder what he could have possibly said to make Terry Boot punch him. Terry was as gentle and mild as a Pygmy Puff, and avoided killing flies because they were living beings. He never got into fights. Ever.
If she weren't so dead set against speaking a word to The Ferret ever again, she'd have asked him just out of curiosity. But Malfoy saved her the effort.
"Oi, Granger," he called, when he noticed her standing by the door. "Your boyfriend's been hiding a secret from you. He's as straight as a Quaffle. Thought you should know."
Several gasps made Hermione turn around. The most notorious gossips of the Ministry, including Mariah, were hovering around the doorway.
Even though that piece of information certainly explained quite a few things, she was furious. It always had to be Malfoy, didn't it? Nobody else had the privilege of ruining her life other than him, was that it? Humiliating her twice hadn't been enough? Merlin, she couldn't believe how idiotic she had been to take up with him in the first place. There was no word that described exactly how horrible a person he was.
She decided to break her promise just this once.
"I will thank you to mind your own business, Malfoy," she replied icily, mindful that other people were around. She couldn't go off insulting him, or she'd look bad. When the Auror attending Terry pulled back, she rushed to his side and gently took his hand in hers. He had a black eye that looked very painful, and the damage to his knuckles confirmed her suspicion. Malfoy never could keep his bloody mouth shut.
"Are you alright, Terry?" she asked with concern.
Terry smiled. "Yeah, I'll live." Then he frowned. "Aren't you angry with me? For hiding... that from you?"
She shook her head. She wanted to admit her own secret, but of course she couldn't with an audience, and definitely not in the presence of The Ferret. So she opted to stretch the truth for now, until they could talk about it openly.
"No. I've...suspected for a while now, that something wasn't quite right, but I was afraid to say anything because you obviously weren't ready to admit to it."
He nodded, conveying his gratefulness with his eyes. "I'm sorry, Hermione."
"I'm sorry, too, Terry." She tried not to show her guilt in hers.
~~~\~~~
Their anniversary was spent confessing their lies and half-truths to each other, although Hermione still couldn't bear to admit whom she had been fantasizing about every time Terry had kissed her. Her lovely ex-boyfriend didn't even attempt to pry, probably because he didn't want to admit what bloke he had been thinking about, either.
All in all, it was a nice time, despite the closure of their romance. They decided to remain steadfast friends, as they truly did enjoy the other's company, and there was no resentment on either side. All things considered, it couldn't have gone better.
Hermione returned to her flat that night feeling the stress slide right off her shoulders. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this relaxed. Even though the story of their relationship was bound to be commented on by every wizarding paper and tabloid in existence, she honestly didn't care. And that felt absolutely brilliant.
~~~\~~~
That fact alone, Hermione realized later, should have made her cautious. Her life had never been easy, so why would it start being so now?
"Sorry about Boot," Malfoy commented to her in the empty hall, sounding not the least bit sorry for exposing the whole scandal.
The brunette almost replied out of pure reflex to taunt him back, but held her lips firmly shut and kept walking. Draco Malfoy did not deserve a single second of her time. Any breath she used would be a waste.
"Granger, you can't possibly be mad at me. I saved you from an orgasm-less future, and this is how you repay me?"
Hermione kept her head faced forward, her fists clenched by her sides, even as he strode alongside her. He was not worth her time, she repeated mentally to herself. He was baiting her, and she would not take it.
He finally grabbed her left arm to turn her around, but experience told her she couldn't give him a single inch of ground, or he'd take it all.
As her body turned, she drew her wand and blasted him backward with a spell.
Malfoy landed on his arse and stared up at her in surprise at the pure fury on her face.
"Don't you dare lay a finger on me again, Ferret," she threatened, before turning on her heel and continuing on her way.
Fortunately, he was smart enough to not follow her.
~~~\~~~
Two weeks later, she heard Malfoy had gotten into another spat, but with Cormac McLaggen, who was visiting on some business. This time, only insults had been traded, apparently, but that wasn't the worst part.
"I think Hermione has an admirer," Mariah whispered loudly to Hannah.
"Why do you say that?" Hannah responded curiously.
"Do you know what started the argument?"
Hannah shook her head.
"McLaggen had just been telling Kirk Hanesly in Magical Co-operation that he was planning on asking Hermione out to dinner, since she's single now. Apparently, Malfoy overheard and picked a fight with him. There seems to be a pattern."
"But what about Ernie?" Hannah countered. "He never dated her, as far as I know."
"Have you dated Ernie, Hermione?" Mariah asked blatantly.
It took everything Hermione had to suppress the fear and anger that welled up at that possibility. Malfoy was now actively preventing her from having any sort of romantic relationship whatsoever? What the bloody hell would that accomplish?
"No," she replied shortly, "I have never dated Ernie."
"Did he ever ask you?" Mariah pressed.
"No." It wasn't a lie. He'd only asked to kiss her once. She was surprised Hannah hadn't remembered Ernie saying anything about it.
"Hmm..."
"It's Malfoy, Mariah," Hannah reminded her. "Who knows what he's thinking at any given moment? Maybe he just likes to pick fights and it has nothing to do with her? I wouldn't put it past him."
"Maybe you're right," Mariah conceded, stilly eyeing Hermione. "We'll see."
She was trying so hard to keep The Ferret out of her life, but if he insisted on not letting anyone else in, she was going to have to give him what he wanted. She was going to have to talk to him.
But not yet. She was praying that Hannah was right. Then again, did she really want another person getting hurt because Malfoy had some residual possessive tendencies?
~~~\~~~
A week after that, when Mariah gleefully reported that Malfoy had nearly come to blows with Seamus Finnigan in Games and Sports, who had mentioned that Hermione was looking particularly fetching today, Hermione decided enough was enough.
He had the entire Ministry staff afraid to mention her name, as they had all picked up on the common thread. Something had to be done. They were all assuming she and Malfoy were currently having a secret office romance, which was the only natural explanation for such intense jealousy.
There was nothing for it. She'd have to break her rule. She'd have to talk to him.
With this new resolve, she asked around, ignoring the knowing looks she received, and waited for him in his office. She reasoned that she was willing to wait as long as necessary, because she hadn't been getting much work done, anyway. She was completely annoyed and confounded by his behaviour.
It was time to sort this out once and for all.
Fortunately, she only waited about ten minutes before he entered his office. He closed the door automatically and didn't look up from the file in his hands until he walked right past her sitting in one of the chairs. He halted, put the file on his desk, and then smirked.
"Granger. To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked with sickly sweet smoothness, like he was about to serve her poisoned, honeyed tea.
She frowned. "I want answers, Malfoy. Why do you feel it necessary to make my life difficult? Why do you feel the need to scare off every bloke that mentions my name? Why is it apparently so impossible for you to just leave me in peace? Did you not humiliate me enough in school? Clearly, you're punishing me for something, but I have no bloody clue what I could have possibly done to you!"
Malfoy leaned over his desk, scowling. "You have no clue? That's a bloody laugh. Does MacMillan sound familiar? We had an agreement, Granger, and you broke it. For MacMillan! I'm protecting them from you, since you can't keep your lips to yourself. Everyone needs to know the truth, that you aren't so innocent and loyal as you'd have them believe."
Hermione stood up in outrage. "Loyalty? You, of all people, dare to preach to me about loyalty?" she screeched. "You don't know the meaning of the word! How many girls have you bedded? How many hearts have you broken?"
"I have broken no hearts! Every witch I've consorted with has known what she signed up for! They all knew it was for one night of carnal bliss and nothing more."
"Then how do you explain Parkinson, who swore she was your girlfriend, and was a fixture on your arm for so long?"
"She was delusional, but not for no reason. Our parents had considered a marriage contract at one point, but eventually decided against it. By then, she wanted to be my girlfriend, and I didn't stop her from believing it. Trust me, Granger, you don't want to be on Pansy's bad side. She moved on eventually, and that's that."
"So you admit to cheating on her?"
"No. She wasn't actually my girlfriend. She merely wanted to be."
Hermione scoffed. "Of course. How convenient."
"Despite our reputation, Malfoys are as loyal to family as any Gryffindor. We cannot trust anyone else to such an extent, so it is rarely seen and often ignored when it is witnessed, in favor of our less heroic qualities. I've never had a girlfriend, because no witch I knew deserved it, except you. I thought you would be loyal, too, until you weren't."
"And when, exactly, did we state that we were in a relationship?" she countered. "Was it when you seduced me for a bet, twice? Was it when you were getting revenge on me for the hex I put on you? Or was I supposed to assume that just because I'd had the honour of consorting with you more than once, that there was something more? Where, exactly, in our agreement did we say that we were exclusive? You cannot stand there and tell me that, with your reputation, I was supposed to automatically give everything to you and expect that Draco Malfoy would remain faithful to me! That's absolutely preposterous!"
"How could I have been any more obvious?" he roared. "I opened doors for you! I met you all over the castle whenever I had the chance and we talked for hours! I got food from the house elves for you, and don't you dare start on the Spew thing again! They were falling all over themselves to give me all your favorite foods! I made sure you always had your pleasure before I had mine! And, since you evidently didn't notice, I ought to inform you now that I never, not even once, shagged another witch during our agreement. Aren't you supposed to be the champion of looking past reputations to see who a person truly is? Of ignoring prejudice? Or are you exempt from following your own platform?"
Hermione gaped at him. There was no way she could have realized! She would admit that having seen him multiple times in one week could have been a clue that she meant more than his usual shags, but that was only one clue! Opening doors for people, witch or wizard, was simply common courtesy! Getting food for a...well, not date - had they actually been on dates? - but meeting of any sort, was being kind! He had no right to assume that being a thoughtful person automatically meant she was his girlfriend! And it didn't speak favorably of him that he thought it a logical conclusion!
"Don't you dare suggest," she growled, "just because I couldn't read your bloody mind, that I should have known! Not to mention I don't want to date you if you're only decent to women you have sex with on multiple occasions!"
Malfoy growled back and stalked around his desk to grab her shoulders. "Merlin's bloody ballsack, Granger! How dense could you possibly be? I wasn't 'decent' to you because we were shagging! I did it because I couldn't get you out of my head! Even now, you plague me to the point of jealousy every time I hear a bloke thinking about touching you! I'm the only one who's brilliant enough to keep up with you. I'm the only one who can please you. I'm the only one who's mad enough to put up with your bossy attitude all the time. But most importantly, I'm the only one you've let inside you, which means you've realized we're perfect for each other, too, and I intend on keeping it that way."
She shoved him back, breaking his hold on her. "I've told you time and time again that you do not own me. You do not get to decide that we are perfect together, which we aren't. Don't think for one second that I'm going to jump into your arms just because you can't control your own emotions. You've put me through way too much shite for me to simply forgive you and live happily ever after. Life never works like that, anyway! If you are even considering my being with you as a possible outcome right now, then you need to reevaluate your logic, because you are working off a false premise!"
He narrowed his eyes but didn't reach for her again. "I see. So I'm only good for shagging, am I? I can't possibly be a person who desires a full relationship?"
She glared right back. "You have no right to say that. You, who told me to my face that all I was good for was 'shagging and homework', have absolutely no right."
"People change, Granger. It's called maturing."
"But you aren't mature! You haven't changed! You're still letting yourself be ruled by your anger and hate and jealousy! You still expect everything to be handed to you with only minimal effort!"
"Why should I deny the things that I want if people willingly hand them to me? That seems counterproductive, don't you think?"
Hermione threw her hands up with a frustrated sigh. He was completely missing the point.
"It's not the fact that you accept the offerings, but that you expect everything to be so easy! Life isn't easy! Relationships aren't easy! What guarantee do I have that you won't lose interest the moment we get into a rough patch?"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Granger, when has our relationship been anything but one giant rough patch?"
"Well..." Aw, bugger. He had her there. "You didn't stick around, did you? You voided our agreement the second something happened that you didn't like!"
"Because you cheated!"
"I didn't cheat! The agreement said nothing about exclusivity!"
"You truly need a clause to tell you not to kiss other blokes?"
"You need an entire contract to tell a girl that you want to date her!"
Silence.
"What would you expect of me, if we dated?"
"I wouldn't bother to expect anything of you, because I'll never date you."
"If an alternate universe existed," he clarified, "and if in that alternate universe, I happened to persuade you to date me, theoretically. What would your other self expect from my other self?"
She sighed. Well, he was persistent, at least. "Theoretically, if such conditions existed, then I suppose she'd expect a quite a few things. Fidelity, patience, and emotional self-control for hexing other people for simply talking about her, and especially no insulting her friends."
"And?"
"And...everything couldn't be about sex. They'd actually have to talk, about difficult things like their families and how they expect the people they love to react to their relationship. They'd have to want the same things, like sharing at least some hobbies and life goals. Otherwise, they'd get bored of each other and start resenting the other. She wouldn't expect a miracle, but they'd have to be able to cohabitate without tearing the place apart."
He nodded.
She eyed him suspiciously. He was too...accepting. "But none of that matters, because it'll never happen in this universe," she tested.
"Of course."
Was he truly letting it go? Letting her go?
"Apologies for kicking you out, but I do have work I need to finish by the end of the day. Thank you for indulging my curiosity," he stated after a minute or so of her staring at him.
"Right," she replied awkwardly. "You're welcome."
She left his office feeling even more confused than ever.
~~~\~~~
It had finally happened. She had gotten what she had wanted. A month had passed, and everyone had long forgotten about her and Malfoy, because he hadn't gotten into any more spats. He had finally learned some self-control. He had also, finally, gotten the message and stayed well away from her, which wasn't difficult considering the vast distance between their offices.
Even better was that nobody was bothering her. Well, Mariah was absolutely indefatigable in her quest to convince Hermione Granger to gossip, but even that wasn't annoying anymore.
And the cherry atop this sundae of serenity?
She wasn't. Serene, that was. She wasn't serene at all.
Mariah didn't annoy her because Hermione was hardly paying attention these days. She still managed to focus long enough to get work done, but she was nowhere near as far ahead as she normally was.
All because of Draco bloody Malfoy, and the obsession she had been forced to realize had developed somehow. There was absolutely zero reason for her to be thinking about him now, but she was. She thought of him every day, analyzing their last conversation over and over again, desperately hoping for some sort of sudden insight on her current stress level.
It seemed, funnily enough, that just as he had gained some self-control toward her, she had lost hers toward him. She caught herself at least twice a day reaching for the doorknob to interrogate him about something he had said to her during that last conversation. And each time, she stared at her hand in horror and snatched it back, forcing herself to sit down again.
It wasn't fair. He had finally agreed to give her some peace, but contentment continued to slip through her fingers, maddeningly elusive.
She stared at the report she was supposed to be reading about potential forest locations for official Centaur territory, but didn't see a word.
All she could think about was why Malfoy had bothered to paint that theoretical picture of them dating in an alternate universe, if he knew well and good it would never happen in this one. What had been the point? Had he been masochistically taunting himself with a vision of a life with her for only a brief moment? Why else would he have pushed so hard for her to answer? Had he been trying to gauge whether he even had a chance?
But it was Malfoy, who thought he was Merlin's gift to the universe, proud and haughty beyond all reason. It just didn't make any sense for him to do that. Yes, he had admitted to feeling irrationally possessive of her, but he had never been the type to agonize over things he couldn't have. In fact, she was certain there was some unofficial Malfoy family motto about nobody ever saying no to them about anything.
Maybe that was it, though. Maybe he had been admitting that it bothered him that she wasn't jumping into his bed the moment he crooked a finger. Maybe the whole point of that was to remind himself that he couldn't have her, that it would never work, because they were too different. She would forever nag him about the working conditions of his house elves and he would forever tell her to stop being so bloody obsessive.
She smiled a little when a mental image immediately popped in front of her mind's eye. He would be scowling when he said it, and then he'd roll his eyes at her when she retorted that he was still sore that she had gotten better marks than him in practically every subject at Hogwarts. He'd scoff at her in denial, and then remind her that her marks hadn't been quite as high that last semester when they'd been sneaking around the school at all hours of the day and night to shag. She'd blush at the memories and he'd smirk, and then he'd head off her inevitable reply with a kiss-
Stop!
She groaned and let her head drop to rest on her forearms.
This was the problem. The daydreaming, the fantasies, the memories. They all swirled in her head, blending together and forming new images that were difficult to ignore and obvious in their root cause. She still wasn't over him.
When had she become a masochist? She knew he wasn't good for her. She knew he was self-obsessed and arrogant and he'd sooner insult her than compliment her on how she looked. She needed reassurance, not constant verbal attacks! What was it about him that made her mental? Why couldn't she get him out of her head?
Well, he wasn't boring. He didn't talk about Quidditch in front of her, and he only ignored her when he was silently telling her she was beneath his notice. They were always communicating, whether it was with looks, words, or simple body language. And they always understood what the other was saying. She didn't have to dumb down her explanations for him. He spoke to her like an equal, even when he was insulting her. He condescended to insult Ron and Harry when he felt like it, but they both knew that her boys just weren't quick enough to keep up with them when they decided to engage in a battle of wit.
She remembered that day in the library, all that time ago, the first time he had seduced her. He had told her flat out that she would be bored with someone like Ernie, that she needed a challenge to stimulate her and ward off atrophy. She hadn't truly considered it at the time, because she always took Malfoy's comments with a grain of salt, but he had been right. She had been so bored with Terry. That kiss with Ernie had been boring. Even his nervousness that day had only mildly amused her. She hadn't been excited or worried or anything. She'd been unnaturally calm about it, actually.
Because Malfoy had pushed her, had forced her to get out of her comfort zone and experience new things. He knew how to taunt her into doing almost anything, but she kept his ego in check whenever it threatened to become unmanageable.
So what could be so scary about kissing Ernie MacMillan in the back of the library when she and Malfoy had had sex on the Slytherin and Gryffindor tables in the Great Hall? That had been bloody terrifying, as she'd been fully convinced someone had been about to walk through those double doors at any moment, never mind that it had been quarter past two in the morning, and everyone would surely be sound asleep. They hadn't been interrupted, incidentally, and he had smirked at her with such triumph when she had admitted that she had liked the thrill. It was addictive, truthfully, and she blamed Harry and Ron for getting her used to the thrill of danger and of almost being caught since the tender age of eleven. Surely she wouldn't have developed such a fetish if it hadn't been for their constant escapades throughout the castle year after year.
Anyway, she hadn't been able to eat at her House table for a straight week without blushing madly, which had been Malfoy's intention, she was sure. Ginny had frequently asked her if she felt ill because she had been red-faced all week, so Hermione had been forced to lie just to explain away her guilty blush. Malfoy had even cast a knowing smirk across the room several times just to make her blush deeper, which hadn't assured Ginny at all of her feeling alright.
So, no, Draco Malfoy did not bore her at all, and that, she had to admit, was one reason to like him. It didn't mean she would act on it, of course. Just because she was feeling that blur again, because she was starting to forget what an arse he was most of the time, did not mean she was going to make the same mistake twice.
Even with both of them being aware of trying to have an exclusive, dating relationship, she was positive Malfoy would remind her why she ought never to date him, and then she'd be right back where she started. It would be painful, yes, but she could deal with this. As long as she didn't do something idiotic, like ambush him in his office, lock the door, and search for her long lost pride and independence deep inside his mouth, she would be alright. Eventually.
It didn't matter if he might actually want to try. Just like she had told him, it was a terrible idea. They'd both regret it. She couldn't trust him, and that would lead to resentment and accusations and a ton of other bad things that would make them crash and burn in no time at all.
It just wouldn't work. Full stop.
And that was exactly what she told herself, each and every time she caught her hand reaching for the doorknob. It was useless to try, because it wouldn't work.
~~~\~~~
The next time she saw him was by complete accident. They happened to arrive to work at the same time and awkwardly shared a lift, fortunately with more people than just them in it, for a few floors until he got off.
She had leaned against the back of the lift, closed her eyes, and surreptitiously breathed his familiar scent in the entire time. For reasons she was too afraid to analyze, it calmed her, and she almost felt like smiling. The calming effect lingered the entire way to her office, but she keenly felt its absence when it dissipated.
She repeated her mantra to reassure herself she was making the right decision. She was freeing herself from his toxicity. It was hard now, but it would get easier. It had to.
~~~\~~~
Two weeks after that wasn't any easier.
"Hannah, Hermione! You'll never guess what I've just heard!" Mariah burst out before she was fully through the door.
"What?" Hannah prompted eagerly.
"Draco Malfoy has a girlfriend!" she squealed.
Hermione stilled, and so did her heart.
"No!" Hannah gasped in disbelief.
Mariah nodded with glee. "And do you know who it is?"
Hannah shook her head.
"Lisa Turpin!"
"From MLE?"
"The very same! Emma confirmed it this morning. They've been dating for a few months now, and Lisa confessed to Emma that they decided to be exclusive."
The words pierced through Hermione like a thick javelin, leaving a gaping hole in her chest. So that had been the reason? He had been asking how he should proceed with Lisa Turpin? He hadn't been trying to convince her to date him at all!
A wave of shame flooded her from head to toe. She should have realized he understood. He had probably thought she was being ridiculous, telling him over and over she wouldn't be with him. He had gotten the message the first time. God, why did she always let him get to her?
She couldn't lose her composure here, though, not in front of these two. She was lucky neither of them had noticed her reaction.
"It's surprising, though," Hannah commented. "I wouldn't think he'd go for the quiet type."
The sudden vitriol welling up at the mental image of them kissing opened her mouth without her permission.
"Aren't couples supposed to balance each other? He is loud and obnoxious, after all," Hermione reminded them.
Mariah and Hannah nodded in thoughtful agreement, and she wondered if they hadn't heard the bitterness in her voice.
Afraid that she'd say something really stupid and incriminating, she forced herself to ignore the gossips until she got home.
Once she was safely inside the privacy of her own flat, her frustration and all-consuming desire to understand prompted her to sit down and sort out her own feelings. Malfoy had moved on, so she needed to as well. Even if she did decide that she couldn't resist wanting to try with him any longer, he was in a relationship. She wasn't going to be that woman.
Honestly, he made the decision very simple for her. She had to accept the fact that he was a temptation for her and resist at all costs. It didn't matter that she felt empty and restless without him. It didn't matter that she, too, wasn't immune to raging bouts of jealousy. She had to stand by her pronouncement, even if it killed her slowly. She had to have faith that one day she wouldn't think of him all day, and then all week, and all month, and so on.
People recovered from addictions all the time, so she ought to be able to do it. She just had to keep with it and watch herself whenever she encountered him. She could do this.
She went to bed that night filled with new purpose. Her brain chemistry had nothing to do with Malfoy, so she had to stop blaming him. He was a victim of her obsession, and so it was up to her to banish the demon so they could both be free.
~~~\~~~
A month later, they entered the same lift along with a crowd, which shoved them back against the far wall. Malfoy stiffened, which told her he had just noticed her. She tried to put more space between them, but she was squashed into the corner and someone else was blocking him from moving forward. They suffered in silence, but she couldn't help breathing in deeper than necessary, greedily sucking in as much of his scent as possible with her eyes closed.
He smelled absolutely divine after such a long time. She let out an almost inaudible sigh once her head was swimming in serenity. It occurred to her that she might actually need to seek professional help, but she didn't care at the moment. She felt so relaxed and content, all her worries were shoved to the back of her mind.
She really needed to stop and just smell things more often. Smell could be such a pleasurable sense when one allowed oneself to enjoy it.
After the usual amount of time, she opened her eyes to get off at her floor, but was shocked to see that Malfoy hadn't gotten off at his.
A hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her along out of the lift when it halted. Malfoy led her to an empty room, shoved her inside, and closed the door behind him, warding it so they wouldn't be overheard.
"Malfoy?" she asked in confusion. Her heart leapt for joy, but her brain sternly told it to cut it out, because he was not here to confess his undying love for her.
"Were you smelling me back there?" he asked bluntly.
She immediately flushed in embarrassment. "No!" she lied, flustered.
He rolled his eyes, although a tiny smirk formed on his lips, but that was quickly replaced by his blank expression.
"You need to stop, Granger," he told her seriously. "You can't keep doing this to both of us."
"What do you mean?" she asked, torn between hope and fear of his answer.
He glared at her. "You told me you didn't want me, but here you are, clearly wanting me. I'm dating Lisa now, so I refuse to enable your sadistic whims. Weren't you the one who claimed I needed to learn the meaning of loyalty? But you're tempting me with what I can't have!"
"What? I'm not tempting you!"
"You are!" he insisted, his composure slowly unraveling before her.
She'd never seen him so emotional. She had the insane desire to push him further, make him unravel faster. She resisted the impulse.
"I'm so very sorry for breathing, Malfoy, but it's sort of necessary to live!" she snapped.
"You weren't just breathing!" he snarled, revealing another layer. "You were practically moaning. That was a deliberate attempt to seduce me!"
"I am not seducing you!" she defended, even though she was inwardly pleased he was just as affected by her as she was by him.
"You kept pushing your body against mine!"
"I was trapped in a corner!"
"Just stop, Granger. Stop pretending. Admit that you don't know what the fuck you want."
"I know what I want! I want you!" she blurted.
He laughed, and it sounded a little insane. "Oh I see now! You just want what you can't have! It was so easy for you to reject me when I didn't have any other prospects, but now that I have someone, now that I've finally let you go, you decide that you want me! How the fuck does that not count as being a vindictive bitch?"
"Because I've always wanted you, ever since Hogwarts, but you were the one to tell me I wasn't good enough! You were the one to reject me. So why was I supposed to just automatically accept that you were mature enough, that you weren't toying with me the way you did back in school?"
He slammed a fist down onto the table, startling her. "Bloody fucking hell, Granger! We've already been over that! I don't do that! Not anymore. I was seething in rage and jealousy that I couldn't satisfy you, that you went to MacMillan to replace me!"
"I kissed Ernie because you made it perfectly clear to me that you were only in it for the shagging!" she screamed, frustrated. "I kissed him because I knew we weren't going to keep our arrangement going forever. Eventually, I would have had to find someone else to be my boyfriend because you didn't want to be!"
"Well I did want to!"
"Then why didn't you say so?"
"Because you're the fucking Golden Princess and I'm ex-Death Eater scum! Even if you did want me, you're too fucking soft to abandon your friends if they made you choose. Because they would make you choose, and there is no possible scenario in which I come out your boyfriend after that."
She gaped at him, her mind quickly applying this new piece of information to her existing knowledge. He had rejected her before they even had a chance because he assumed she would eventually leave him? He hadn't even bothered to ask if her friends could ever accept him. He had just assumed.
And then he had used her kissing Ernie as an excuse to break it off with her, claiming it was her fault they weren't together.
"That…I…What…What the fuck, Malfoy!"
All other words were insufficient to express the several emotions swirling inside her.
He visibly jumped at her uncharacteristic response, which gave her a modicum of pleasure.
Her rage beat all her other emotions into submission, however, so she rode it out.
"You're telling me, that all of the doubt and anguish and driving myself mental over you was because you couldn't be bothered to ask if my friends could learn to accept you for the new, mature person you profess to be?" she seethed.
He remained silent, eyeing her warily.
Good. He better be afraid of her. She was going to teach him a lesson he'd never forget.
"This is what's going to happen," she hissed, glaring and stepping closer to him. "You are going to apologize to Lisa Turpin for wasting her time and break up with her. You are going to make dinner reservations for tomorrow night. And when you are done with that, you are going to take me home tonight so I can punish you for wasting years of my time. You are going to date me properly, no conditions, no contracts, no assumptions. If you want something from me, you are going to ask for it."
She was right in front of him, her finger poking his chest with every stressed word to make sure he understood that she meant it.
"But most of all," she said with a dramatic pause, holding his dark grey gaze captive, "you are going to show me that you have matured, that you know how to respect your lover and treat her well. If I am not happy with your progress, then I will break up with you, and you will be hexed to death and back by my friends and family so they can do it all over again until they believe you've suffered enough for everything. You have one chance to win them over, which is through me, so don't screw it up."
He picked her up to sit her atop the conference table and crashed their lips together.
While this exact move had been a very effective tactic for him in the past to make her stop talking and have his way with her, she was not going to allow it this time. She was still furious with his stupidity, so she was not going to let him smooth it over the way he had back then.
Just before she hexed him, she allowed herself a moment to relish the feeling of familiar lips back where they belonged.
Then, once again, Draco Malfoy found his arse blasted onto the floor.
"What the fuck, Granger!" He stood up and made to grab her, but her foot shot out to press against his torso, holding him at bay. She also pointed her wand at his heart just for good measure. She wondered briefly if his flair for the dramatic had rubbed off on her.
He glared at her, but remained in place.
"I will not be 'the other woman', Malfoy," she admonished in a hard tone. "You do not get to touch me until you've broken up with her."
His eyes were already a dark charcoal grey, but somehow they managed to get darker.
"And then what?" he asked in a pitch much lower than his usual.
She scoffed. "If you had been listening, like a proper boyfriend should, then you would know the answer."
"Apologies. I was preoccupied with the mental image of fucking you on that very table."
That. That was what she had been missing, craving all this time. The bluntness of his lust that made her blush and smile in anticipation. His arrogant, unapologetic statements that provoked the darker, sinful side of her, the side that not a single person other than the two of them even knew existed.
She smiled, feeling that dormant part of her awaken. She instantly felt like the seductive temptress he claimed her to be, and she decided he ought not to be disappointed.
"Oh, I see you were listening, then," she amended innocently.
Malfoy lurched forward, very obviously intending to ravish her within an inch of her life, but she dug the heel of her shoe further into his chest, relying on the pain to jolt him out of his lusty haze. It did its job and he stopped again with a growl.
"I swear, Granger-"
"I don't care what you swear, unless it's telling me you're going to do what I told you to," she interrupted bossily, knowing that tone drove him absolutely mental.
They stared at each other for a long time before he managed to calm himself down and regain control. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly bent down to place a light kiss on her extended calf.
She was able to suppress the shiver, but couldn't hide her reaction to the way her insides twisted pleasantly.
"I'll see you tonight," he confirmed with a smirk. He backed off, and she lowered her leg.
Realizing she had lost the upper hand, she had to have the last word.
"Don't forget, Malfoy, you're in for a world of pain tonight."
They both knew it would be of the pleasurable sort.
~~~\~~~
He must have apparated them directly into his bedroom because Hermione had only half a second to get her bearings before she was shoved backward and fell onto a bed. Malfoy fell with her and attacked her neck first with his mouth while his hands desperately attempted to yank up her work skirt.
If they were back in Hogwarts, she would have been eagerly yanking his trousers down, too, but they weren't. They were trying to have a serious go, and this simply would not do.
She waited until her skirt was around her hips before she shoved him over to the side and followed, straddling him. She caught his hands with hers and ground against his erection, forcing a moan from his throat.
"Remember what I told you about tonight, Draco?" she reminded him huskily. "It's going to be very hard on you."
"Fucking hell, Granger," he groaned, trying to gyrate with her, but she kept lifting up whenever he tried.
"My name is Hermione," she reprimanded. "We're dating now, remember?"
His eyes shot open, annoyance and lust clearly displayed for her in their darkened depths.
"Yes, I remember," he growled.
She relished the lack of control he had over his desire, so she rewarded his answer with another grind of her hips.
She hadn't originally intended on orally pleasuring him, but it suddenly occurred to her as appropriately cruel, getting him close and not letting him finish. She was supposed to be punishing him, after all.
So she closed her eyes a moment and took a deep breath to concentrate. Within moments, both of them were naked, their clothing having been successfully Vanished, and now the real fun could begin.
The physical indication of his arousal sprung upright as soon as it was freed. She allowed it to bob against the softness of her bare stomach a few times before she shifted down to take him into her mouth.
His eyes rolled up into the back of his head and his body arched in response.
She smiled and tried her best to remember what he liked from the few times she'd done this before. She was fairly certain she'd got it right when his hands clenched hers each time she swiped her tongue a certain way. It was hard work maintaining the right rhythm and making sure his hands remained trapped in hers, but she'd managed it.
Finally, his breathing changed, his hands tightened on hers in a deathgrip, and she knew he was almost there. When his hips arched just a bit as she pulled up, she pulled off of him completely.
He let loose a string of curses, half of which she didn't think were actual words.
"Why did you stop?" he demanded, panting.
"I'm not done with you yet," she replied. "You'll finish when I do."
She teased him some more by shifting back up and brushing her labia against him.
"That can be arranged," he rumbled, trying to angle himself inside her.
"Uh-uh!" she denied, moving her pelvis to evade him. "Not yet, Draco."
He caught her gaze. "I promise you'll enjoy it, Grang-Hermione. You'll come before I do. Twice."
Ooh, he was bargaining now? She bit her lip pensively. Did she want to take what she could get, or take a chance?
She shook her head. "Sorry, Draco. I'm having too much fun to settle for two."
"Three."
Now that was an offer difficult to refuse. He knew very well that getting her off three times in a row was a challenge for even him, due to natural desensitization.
She eyed him suspiciously. "Are you sure you can last that long in your current state?"
His lips smirked, but his eyes were intense, full of determination and intent.
"I can guarantee it."
Her skepticism wasn't completely dispelled, but she had lowered her guard enough that he was able to take advantage of her momentary distraction.
His hands slid out of hers and shot to her hips, smoothly rolling them over so he was on top.
She glared at him for deceiving her and mentally cursed herself for letting him, but then her thoughts stuttered when she realized he hadn't been lying.
He slithered down her body, hooked her leg over his shoulder, and angled her pelvis upward for easier access. He licked her torturously slow, and even though she knew he was building her up for a fantastic orgasm, she hadn't intended for him to be in control at all. But he'd had too much practice in pleasing her this way, so all plots to regain control were quickly forgotten when his tongue thrust inside her at just the right tempo and his fingers expertly rubbed her to climax.
Before she could come down completely, he replaced his tongue with his fingers and immediately started stroking the sensitive spot inside her that the former hadn't been able to reach. She writhed and moaned, completely mindless in her ecstasy and he brought her again.
He was merciful enough to let her catch her breath for a few moments and then grabbed her hips to yank her down the bed a little in order to angle her. He smirked at the sated lethargy written across her face.
"Ready for the finale, Granger?"
He didn't actually give her time to answer before thrusting inside her, not that she had the presence of mind to respond, anyway. He groaned and then paused a few moments to urge her to wrap her legs around his waist, which she did slowly.
"Hold on," he warned her, before tilting them to his liking and pounding into her at a rapid pace.
The rhythm was so quick and forceful that even desensitization only slightly dulled the friction, so she quickly orgasmed a third time. He finally allowed himself to release, and then collapsed onto her pliant body.
She had absolutely zero desire to move a single muscle, so she ignored the slight discomfort of his chin digging into her shoulder, and reveled in the warmth and excess endorphins flooding her system. It was nirvana on earth.
Draco eventually rolled off of her with a groan, which made her frown at the sudden chill.
He smirked at her lazily in her peripheral vision. "Go to sleep, Granger. I'll wake you up for round two in a bit."
She smiled sluggishly and would have rolled her eyes if they weren't mostly closed. His libido apparently hadn't changed at all.
"I still haven't gotten my revenge on you, you know," she reminded him.
"I know," he replied, "but you'll have plenty of time from now on to fail at it."
"You're truly going to try then, and trust me to convince my friends not to hex you long enough to learn to tolerate you?"
He chuckled, which ended in a tired sigh. "I've done a lot of reevaluating in the last three years, and one thing has been made inescapably clear to me recently. You're it for me, Granger. If I can't make it work with you, then I won't work with anyone."
"So you promise you won't regret trying?"
"I could never regret shagging you."
"Draco," she sighed in exasperation, despite being immensely pleased at the high compliment.
"If you think you can find a bloke who's better at shagging you than me, then you need to reevaluate your definition of a brilliant shag. I can also promise that you won't find anyone else willing to put up with you long enough to become your husband."
Her sleepy haze dissipated. "Husband?"
"Not right away, of course. First, you have to bully Potter and the Weasleys into accepting me. Then, once I'm assured of my safety, you'll marry me and we'll begin the long and pleasurable process of creating a Malfoy heir."
"Heir?" she repeated in awe.
"Yes, an heir. Doesn't have to be male, though, I've decided. That rule is going to die with me. I'm sure you'd have my head if I enforced it, anyway. I'd like to have a boy, but if we have a girl, I'll make sure she's spoiled rotten by the time she can speak. You'll have to teach her how to behave."
"Me?"
"Of course. You have just the bossy personality to keep her in line. She'll listen to you, and I'll still be her favorite parent. It'll be perfect. In fact, we might as well go for two, one of each. I'm sure you'll be able to handle it."
"Two?"
"No, you're right. Two won't be enough of a challenge for you. Three, then."
"Three?"
"It's not as if we won't have the funds to support them. We can have four if you insist, but that's where I draw the line."
"No, no, three will be fine."
"Alright, three it is, then."
She wondered if it was a bad omen that even now she still couldn't bear the thought of him having his way without a fight from her, despite the fact they both clearly wanted the same thing.
"But who will watch them?"
"You, of course."
She glared as much as her tired body was able. "Please tell me you are not foolish enough to suggest that I quit my job to become a stay at home mother."
"Of course not," he replied smoothly. "I thought you were referring to the weekends."
Nice save, she admitted mentally. "And what will you be doing during the weekends?"
"Running the family business, of course. A good businessman never takes vacations."
"And how, exactly, do you expect to help raise our children if you're working all the time?"
"I've already explained this, Granger. I spoil them rotten with loads of presents. You're the disciplinarian."
"So then I have complete control over where they are while we're at work?"
"I suppose you're going to send them to muggle school so they can get the 'best of both worlds' while they're young?"
"Possibly. But even that won't take up their whole day. I think they'd be best raised under the watchful and experienced eye of Mrs. Weasley."
"Absolutely not! My children will not be part of a brood!"
"I thought you said I didn't have to choose between you and my friends?" she asked innocently, eyebrows raised.
"This is completely different."
"She's going to be watching all her grandchildren, anyway, so why not? Are you saying you'll deny your children having any friends?"
"What about my Aunt Andromeda? Doesn't she have a grandson?"
"Her choices are to raise Teddy all alone in her empty house or bring him over to The Burrow. Which do you think she'll pick?"
He sent her a withering glare and she grinned smugly. She had him completely trapped.
"I can't decide if I'm pleased or annoyed that you can be so inconveniently cunning," he admitted bitterly.
"You're just pouting because I won...too easily, might I add. Did I tire you out that much?"
He scowled. "Go to sleep, witch. There's still much ravishing to be done before I let you out of this bed."
She let him have this little bit of dignity because she had won the bigger argument. Allowing herself to drift off to sleep, she tried to imagine what their daughter or son would be like. She smiled as the last conscious thoughts she had were that Draco would have a coronary if their child ended up dating a Weasley, and that, for the first time in years, she was overwhelmingly excited for the future.
~~~\~~~
A/N: So, when I first started writing this, I swore to myself that this was going to be the final chapter in this series. Then I realized that I had sworn to myself that Regret was going to be a one-shot and nothing more and...well, look what happened there. I don't know if a plot bunny is going to sneak up on me again to do a sequel for this, which is the reason I've kept these installments separate. Let me know what you think? Thanks for reading lovies!