The fall was long and cold, and now the winter days dragged on.
What had once been Nancy's favorite season of the year, now was an arid wasteland, corrupted by the memories of the recent events.
This was Hawkins coldest winter in years, and even though things were starting to fall back into normalcy, she couldn't stop thinking that something was still off.
Maybe it was the never-ending string of nightmares that haunted her at night, or the persistent absence of her best friend. Or the fact that her brother spent most of his time in the basement, staring at the blanket fort he once built for his telekinetic friend.
Maybe it was the cold, humid and relentless, a cold that stuck to her bones and lingered in them long after he was inside her house. A cold that reminded her a bit too much of the one she felt when she was in the upside down.
Maybe it was the fact that the only source of solace she could think of came from none other than the least expected person. Jonathan Byers.
Well maybe not that unexpected. After all, hunting a faceless monster with someone else is a bond that can't be easily destroyed. And then there was Steve. Her loving boyfriend, that had redeemed himself and now was even dreamier than before.
But still, something was missing.
It was Christmas Eve, she reckons, when she finally realized. She'd probably known for longer than that, but that was the first pinch. She'd given him the camera, as a Christmas gift.
She could still remember the moment, second by second, playing in slow motion in her head.
He wore a red flannel shirt and that blue jacket he always wore. His golden brown hair was disheveled and it made him the more endearing.
He smiled as he asked his little brother about the d&d game he had just played, and for a moment, the cold in Nancy's bones was replaced by something else, something warm and fuzzy that encompassed her, head to toe.
Maybe they could all get a fresh start after all, maybe even though Barb didn't made it back, it meant so much that Will did. And that Jonathan, that sullen kid that never had many friends, didn't lose one of the most important people in his life. She felt grateful for that. So she called out for him
"Hey Jonathan… Wait up"
He turned and looked at her as she walked down the stairs, a bit nervous, but with a warm smile on his lips, as he always had for her.
"Merry Christmas" She said, handing him the wrapped package, a wide smile on her face now too. She can feel the warmth inside her growing by the second, and all she can think of is how much they had been through together, and how no matter what happens next, they are friends, no; even more than that.
War buddies, sharing all the weight of each other's pain.
He takes the gift from her hands gently and he musters softly
"Thanks - umm I didn't get you anything"-he smiled, a bit embarrassed, a bit surprised, showed by the slight red that invades his ears… truth is, no one has ever given him a present other than his mother. But he continues -"I feel bad"
Apparently the nervousness is contagious because after his words, she smiles awkwardly -"No, no, it's not really a present… is ..mhh .. well, you'll see"
she laughs faintly and Jonathan can't seem to remember ever seeing her looking that pretty and radiant, in that yellow sweater, pink cheeks and brown hair falling down her shoulders.
But before he can think of something clever to say or anything at all, she leans into him, and kisses him in the cheek. And now he feels the warmth that runs through Nancy's veins, and it fills him with hope.
She didn't even know where that came from. She only knew that she needed a bit more, more than a hug, more than a smile. She needed something more intimate, but something that didn't break any boundaries. She needed him to know he was appreciated, maybe a bit too much.
He smells like cinnamon and pine trees, just like that fateful night, and his skin is soft beneath her lips.
His lips curl up into that crooked smile she has come to know so well, and he whispers one last "Merry Christmas" before he leaves.
Nancy goes back to her spot on the couch next to Steve, and as he puts his arm around her, he asks with a smile "Did you give it to him?"
"Yeah" she responds, her thoughts lost somewhere else. She can't understand why, but suddenly Steve's arm around her doesn't feel as right as it should.
All she can think of is the guy that saved her from the upside down, and how he's probably the only one who can truly understand her. And how his smell stays with her long after he's walked out of the door.