My first boosh story so might not be the best but hey I can work on it with your help!!

This story has references to ButtonsMagoo's story called 'the yoghurts fault', also bit added from her.

So here it goes...

Vince woke up to find himself and Howard squeezed into a single bed. He slapped Howard to wake him up.

"What was that for?" said Howard holding his cheek.

"What are you doing in my bed?" said Vince pushing Howard out onto the floor and taking his duvet back.

"Well there was a big storm and I got really scared but Naboo and Bollo had gone out because Bollo wanted to go for a walk, so I got in bed with you." said Howard getting dressed and then sitting on his bed on the other side of the room.

"So we didn't..."

"Didn't??"

"We didn't have sex?" By this point Vince had managed to get himself dressed and was just leaving the room to go to the kitchen.

"No! Well I don't think we did as far as I can remember." Howard was following Vince out the room but he went to sit on the sofa.

Vince pulled out some bacon and eggs and put them on low heat to cook slowly.

"Howard will you watch my breakfast while I take a bath?" asked Vince shouting through to Howard in the next room.

"Yeah so long as you do me some." He shouted back his voice growing louder as he approached the kitchen.

"Ok." Walking out the room, forgetting Howard's request.

So Howard put his own on to cook seeing as Vince had already gone to take his bath but he didn't go to the bathroom instead he sat down on the sofa. Naboo walked in and put the TV on he flicked to channel 4; wife swap.

Vince was sat on the floor in front of the fire and started to lick himself. Howard turned around to give Naboo a funny look for wanting to watch wife swap, but when he saw Vince sat there licking himself he freaked.

"Vince what are you doing?"

Howard walked round the breakfast bar with the sandwiches and stood next to the sofa. At this point Naboo had stopped watching TV and turned to what was happening.

"I'm having a bath?" Said Vince moving from his arm and proceeded to lick his leg.

"You're..."

Naboo butted in.

"Oh these will be the side effects of him eating my 'yoghurt', his body still thinks like a cat so he said he was going for a bath so his brain thought he meant lick himself." Said Naboo smirking.

"So how long will I have these side effects for?" Said Vince standing up and placing his hands on his hips.

"Err...mmmmmm...hmmmmm...errrr well its hard to tell could have them forever or for 5 minutes or a year you never can tell."

"Well that's great absolutely great! What if I walk into a pub and start licking myself what do I say shall I say? 'don't mind me I'm just licking me balls'?" then I will fit in fine wont I?" He said his voice was beginning to form into a questionable shout.

Vince was really hacked off now; Naboo went back to watching his wife swap. About an hour later after they had all eaten and Vince had finished having his bath they were going to go out for the afternoon.

They were going to go to a farm because Vince loved milking the cows but Howard use to say it was because he liked touching them up! Anyway they went to the farm and Vince touched up his cow, so they made there way back home for tea. They stopped at McDonalds for tea and Howard went over the road to collect a DVD rental from blockbusters. He rented out date movie, but when he came back the manager came to have a go at him.

"You, you there are you related to this man here?" said the manager Howard stood there looking puzzled because he had 4 accents crammed in one and could not understand a word he was saying.

"Excuse me are you related to him?" this time he was pointing at Vince!

"Oh him,we're not related, just good mates, why?"

"Well take him away from here he is never allowed back!" The manager took his food and put them in the bin.

"Why did you do that why he is not allowed back?" Howard was very angry know he just spent £20 on a McDonalds for him and Vince and now he has chucked it away!!

"Because he just threw some food to the young boy over there and called a member of staff a fat cow and said can I tickle your udders?"

"No the man over there said she is a fat bitch so I asked if I could milk her! God just because I have a thing with cows!" Vince then crossed his arms and turned back around then him span back around again.

"Oh and that little boy he threw a chip at me so then I threw him my burger! God but I bet he didn't tell you about the ketchup did he no!! See he threw some ketchup swell and now look, I look like imp on my period!!"

Vince stood up and pointed at the ketchup which was allover his trousers but mainly over his penis part as he calls it.

"Well give me my £20 back and we will leave but not forever!" Said Howard he put his hand out to receive the money.

"You can have £5 back because he ate his." The manager was pointing at Vince.

"What you ate the big Mac the 2 portions of French fries 3 milkshakes of every flavor and the chicken nuggets!" Howard was bright red he couldn't believe that Vince ate all that while he went to rent out a DVD.

"Well I said I was hungry anyway you should give us £6 not £5 because I didn't eat my mcflurry!" Said Vince standing up pointing to the manager.

"Fine then."

He gave them £6 and off they went home to watch date movie. They arrived back at about 7 'o' clock Vince went in and sat down on the best seat in the flat, the one directly in front of the TV he kicked off his cowboy boots rolled up his skinny's and removed his jacket; comfy.

"Oi you! There are other people living here as well so shift it" Howard said coming in with the DVD and a bowl of popcorn he kicked Vince's bum so he shuffled along. Naboo waltzed in followed by Bollo, they all made them self comfy and watched the film; date movie. They watched for over an hour chuckles being thrown about here and there before Vince's eyes began to feel heavy he curled up into a little ball, placed his thumb in his mouth and fell asleep. He was plagued by nightmares of topshop burning down and Camden market turning Chav but also had dreams of new outfits and a new set of hair straighteners even more hotter than Nicky Clarke, he sensed commotion outside of his dreams in the real world but shunned them aside for a new Bovril flavored coffee. Vince awoke the next day to find the flat quiet and empty, he got up and walked around the flat in search for his friends.

"Hoooooowarrd, Bollo??... Naboo!?" He shouted no answer.

"Helloooo?" He shouted again.

"Hello!" Something replied, It was coming from the kitchen, he wandered in to find Man sitting on a kitchen stool he was purple skinned and wore an assortment of clothing, ladies scarf's, tracksuit bottoms, a moth eaten hat, a wooly cardigan and huge doc martins adorned his feet.

"If you want your friends back then you need to do a few things for me."