REWORKED VERSION
editing this oneshot was waaay overdue. Since i wrote it such a long time ago i grew as a writer and i kept on finding passages in this piece here that just irked me! I cringed reading this... :O
And typos...yeah... So, no new plot, but a better packaging ;) (and probably new typos -.-)
and 2700 more words O.o
thanks go to therealebonygoddess for beta-ing this piece (again). We need more fics from you, hun!
ONE
This must have been the 100th time she read the stupid thing. Maybe a tiny part of her hoped the text would just miraculously change and she wouldn't have to attend this stupid wedding after all. But Mihawk was one of her closest friends, so there was no butting out or he would drag her sorry ass there personally.
Why did he always have to torment her like this… Such a stupid man. As sharp as he was in battles, outside of those he was dense, almost clumsy at times. Maybe less naps would quicken the pace of his mind.
Indulging in her own bad habit Shanks took the last gulp out of her bottle. Pulling a face she threw it away, disappointed that she would have to get up to get another one. Over on the other side of her cabin were some more. Shanks had made sure there would be enough to last her the night.
After pickign up fresh supply to drown herself some more, she swayed back to her bed and plummeted. It shook her again. By tomorrow Mihawk would be married and she would remain alone. Like she had always been ever since she knew him.
While it was easier to put it as simply as that, she had to correct herself. Their first years together were great. If only it could have stayed like this forever. But foolishly she had thought there was more than just sparing amongst friends. How in love she had been. And how broken she had been when he had send her off, never to return.
So she wasn't done with crying yet, how naïve of her to believe otherwise. Shanks hugged her pillow for some comfort, at least tried to, but she couldn't hug anything anymore, not since she had given her arm in exchange for a little life. Usually this would lift her spirits up, but this time it made it worse. It made it seem for a moment like she had had given up her chances of ever winning him over on purpose. Like it was her own fault and she had no reason to be crying about it now like a little girl. Especially not considering how well Luffy was doing.
Mihawk had sought her out then, just to tell her about it. And she had been torn once more then. The reasons for her happiness and her sadness together in one moment.
Then. It seemed so long ago. But it had only been a few months. But that's just how things were. They were both getting older by the day and she couldn't begrudge Mihawk for fearing to die alone. Not that he would ever admit it. He didn't need to, not to her. He wasn't a man of words anyways; his actions spoke for him quite elaborately.
Like this wedding.
She realized her thoughts had started to move in circles again.
She groaned and drank some more sake. The blank mind was felt good. Until her eyes fell on the invitation again and she needed another gulp.
Waking up in the morning she knew she must have fallen asleep at one point. Seeing how there weren't any full bottles anymore she considered the possibility of her having actually decided to go to bed on her own.
This however also meant she had to get up and arrange for more sake. Usually she would wait until noon. But this was not a normal day, so Shanks would cut herself some slack. She pushed herself up from the sheets but something was very different and weird. She stared into space for a moment but couldn't put her finger on it until she looked down on herself. What was she wearing? She growled.
Benn. She would get back at him for this. But first she had to get out of this…thing.
She walked over to the mirror. Luckily her hair reached a good ways down her spine. It covered her shoulders and her bangs fell into her face hiding a good portion of her scars. But that wasn't where her attention was drawn this time.
A dress. She looked terrible. There was no way she was supposed to look like this. The tears overwhelmed her again.
The dress itself was not the problem. It was just any dress, a bit ill-fitting, yes, but not a particularly terrible cut. And what made her wonder even more was where exactly Benn had gotten it from. Certainly not from her dresser, she hadn't worn a dress in so many years after all.
With a some effort Shanks tore it down and stepped away from it. She hurried and covered herself with a shirt and threw another one over the mirror, not wanting to look at her crippled figure today.
Breathing a little bit more evenly now Shanks sat back onto her bed. She looked around for her pants, finding some half under the bed, and made for the door. This place was haunted by that wretched piece of fabric and Shanks wanted to get away. However she still wanted some more sake. There were still a few more hours to get herself drunk.
After that there would be the ceremony. Then, some reception. Her best excuse to get wasted till she had to be carried off. Benn would accompany her to do just that.
Still looking for the man she found Benn in the dining hall. He handed her a bottle. Gratefully Shanks smiled and took it. Usually he would keep her from drinking this early. But he understood. What a good man.
'So, you gonna wear that dress today?'
Or not. Because that reminded her. 'The hell were you thinking putting me in this thing?!' She shouted a lot louder than she had intended.
'Not even I could talk you into wearing that. You were thrashing and whining last night about how you wanted a dress so badly. I had them guys wake up some shop owners to get you one.'
She felt bad now. The dress had a big tear from when she had struggled out of it and would have to go to waste. Just how drunk had she been last night?
'Well I am not gonna wear it. It is ripped in the front. I don't wanna go…' She whined the same old song again, but Benn had anticipated that long beforehand.
'You've been saying that ever since the invitation arrived. You will go, we both know that.' He put a fresh bottle in her hand. At times like these he was glad there was an easy way to distract Shanks.
'O'course I will. It's not like I have a choice, have I?' Sighing she sat down across of her first mate.
'You could knock Mihawk out, tie him up and sail away.'
Shanks just looked at him. 'Perfect plan, let's go at it…' She held her head in her hand. The second bottle was emptying much too fast as well.
'I'll get going. Bath, and clothes and stuff…' Benn nodded. Might be a good idea.
Mihawk was pacing. To normal people it would have seemed like casual walking, but with Dracule Mihawk there was nothing of the sort. He had sent his groomsmen elsewhere; right now he needed to be alone with his thoughts.
He peeked out of the tent they had erected near the beach. The ceremony would be held here, in the bright sun. He snorted. Who had come up with this hideous idea? Any old castle would have done just fine, but Carmen had just scoffed at the mere idea.
And who were all these people? He knew hardly any one there… He scanned the crowd again, hoping to find something to occupy his mind. Until his gaze stopped at a very familiar face. It was framed by a mop of red hair; Shanks had really come. And she looked as much as the Shanks he had always known. Although sectetely he had hoped she might put on a dress. There had been a time when she would wear skirts and dresses daily without much thought but Mihawk was sure it was the loss of her arm that had risen her self awareness to unreasonable hights. He had found her mirrors covered more than once.
But he was glad she was here. Up until now he hadn't been sure about that and it brought a little smile to his face only to be replaced by a scowl when he noticed she was drunk already. Benn was there to help her keep her balance at least, so that much Mihawk approved of. He knew from experience it took a great amount of booze to have her walk this shakily. Benn ushered her to a chair and held her down with a hand on her shoulder. Her good shoulder, he thought with a pang of guilt. Even after all these years he still couldn't help but think of her like that. But at least this wasn't just a superficial perspective. Her arm had meant the world to him and now this dear friend was dead.
Shanks hang her head. She really didn't look up to par today, Mihawk thought, especially not next to all these fancily dressed guests. Benn handed her a bottle. Now Mihawk was really upset. No matter hwo bad she felt, more booze was certainly not the answer. Couldn't she wait at least a little while longer? He had arranged for an open bar because of her.
A woman was approaching her. Shanks put on her signature smile, wide and idiotic, just like Mihawk had always known it. But he also knew in moments liek this it was a façade, a very effective one at that. Mihawk recognized the dress of the other woman now and he groaned; she was one of the bride's maids and she was talking to Shanks now. This would not end well. He had met them shortly and those were not the kind of women Shanks could deal with.
He was about to step out when the girl turned on her heels, visibly shaking with anger and marched back to the other tent, where his bride was getting ready.
Bride. His bride. His chest was getting tighter again. Was he really not rushing things along? He had known Carmen for less than a year.
Speaking of which, the bride was now marching out of the tent; her hair only halfway done. And she aimed straight for Shanks. And... Had she just shoved Shanks' shoulder? Mihawk tensed up. He knew Shanks didn't have a temper but she was beyond drunk and Carmen was not holding back on harsh criticism and so this could easily end with a dead bride.
Without thinking he walked up to them.
Shanks had resigned and not put up a fight when Benn had pushed her into a chair. The best way to go about this was to sit it out and wait for it to be over. Benn even had brought some more sake to keep her afloat. Truly, a good man.
She closed her eyes and kept her mind blank. It would be over soon, she told herself, and then she could return to mock Mihawk for this terribly fancy and elaborate wedding-charade. Even for his standards this was a little much. From where she was sitting she could see the wodden raft that would be lit right after the ceremony. Even now guests were still piling offerings on top of more gifts. Not that she would part with her sake, no matter how well that would burn.
Having almost reached a peaceful state of mind by making fun of the silly little gags that were to come, a blob of lavender pulled her back into cruel reality. Shanks just put on her usual grin and looked up.
'The invitation stated a specific dress code.' The girl was very young and her face showed plenty disgust but little fear which put Shanks in an almost playful mood.
'Oh, sorry. I don't do dresses… or codes.' Shanks' grin got a little wider. Yes, playing was fun and those little birds were just what this stray cat wanted to hunt.
'You are drunk! Do you have no decency?' The other girl was gritting her teeth. It looked almost adorable.
'Have you seen a mirror lately? You are wearing…purple…whitish stuff… whatever that is... so don't talk about decency.' Shanks even laughed a bit and the fluffy puff of light purple flew off.
Shanks actually felt happy for a bit. This had been fun. It wouldn't last long, however; a fuming ball of white came next. And even without knowing her in person she knew exactly who that was. It was the gasoline that fueled her misery from a fire into an inferno.
That woman was yelling and the anger shook her visibly. But Shanks couldn't quite make out what she said, still in the middle of her thoughts. Then Carmen shoved her and Shanks was wide awake, probably for the first time today. Yet still no words left her parted lips. All she could was stare.
Benn had stepped in to separate them gently. His back was facing Shanks so he didn't see her rise, ready for she didn't know what. But then her gaze fell on Mihawk, and that probably saved Carmen's life. All dressed up in his suit, his hair as wild as ever but without his elegant hat. Their eyes met for just a moment, but that was enough.
Something broke in Shanks. She should have never come, should have sailed far away. She stumbled as if he had slapped her but Benn was there to steady her.
'Let's leave.' Benn was alarmed. He searched for what she had seen and understood. He put an arm around his captain and walked her away. She grabbed his shirt helplessly and her feet couldn't quite keep up with each other. He risked looking down to her but regretted doing so instantly; Shanks seemed to shrink a bit with every step.
Benn knew he would have to hurry but it was too late for now; Mihawk had caught up with them.
'Get back th- ' Mihawk had paused when he saw her face and how she wouldn't look up to him.
'Leave. Your bride is waiting.' Shanks motioned Benn to keep walking.
'The hell is wrong with you? You can't be that hangover, are you? I will have her apologize to you later, I promise.' Mihawk added in a calmer voice.
But Shanks just looked at him. Stupid man. She kept walking. 'This is over, Hawkeye.'
Mihawk stood there eyes wide and was at a loss for words while his friend, the one person he had insisted on coming to his wedding, broke up with him.
He walked back, still shocked by what had just happened. He had not expected this in any way. They had known each other for more than twenty years so why should she just throw this all away? Why today and why over such a pity thing? It was so unlike her.
The next problem welcomed him back when he arrived at the beach again: an enraged bride.
'How dare you run after some woman when she insulted your bride? And now you've seen me before the ceremony… How could you ruin my special day?' Carmen was glaring at him. A small thought occured to Mihawk:so far no one had lived to boast about yelling at him unreasonably. Her hair was still halfway done and she was shifting between self-pity and blind anger. Both character traits he wasn't particularly fond of and hadn't witnessed in his bride to this extend.
'Let me congratulate you to driving away my best friend. What had she done to insult you, she had just been sitting there and-' Mihawk started, trying to reason with the woman in front of him.
'In pants and with booze! She is so indecent! I am glad she is gone.' She didn't even let him finish his sentence; she didn't care. This was her wedding after all and all guests had to stick to the rules set by her. 'Unbelievable, that she is supposed to be a yonko.'
Mihawk had gone very quiet. Usually such behavior was followed by a corpse hitting the ground. 'I will not allow you to speak ill of her, now go and fix your hair. You look ugly.'
He didn't care if he was being heartless, Carmen could count her blessings she was still breathing. Because Mihawk was hurting and his bride had only made it worse. He went back to his retreat, carefully ignoring that the tent had the same color as the dreaded dresses of her terrible friends.
Mihawk sat down on the cheap chair and tried to make sense of what had just happened. The last time they, and he menat Shanks and himself, had had a fallout like that was ten years ago. Wearily he had to admit, that it had been him that had sent her away when she had been in desperate need of a friend. It still shamed him. And the empty armchair in his library would forever remind him of his cold heart. When Carmen had once tried to sit down, oblivious to its symbolic value he had chased her out of his castle. But Carmen was infatuated with him and so she had not taken any offense they next time they met.
However with Shanks it had been different. Regaining that forgiveness had taken him a lot more effort, but he had succeeded in the end. But somehow this time it was a lot worse because he had no idea what had hurt her so much.
Because he knew she was hurt. And he was sure that something like an angry bride would not faze her normally, drunken or not. He had expected her laughter or a subtle threat like she had pulled off with the bride's maid, but not that she would run away.
But Shanks had been genuinely in pain. He was sure she had seen tears in her eyes when he had run after her. If it all hadn't been such a serious matter he would have teased her that she had almost looked cute.
A man poked his head inside. The bride's brother. 'It's time.'
Mihawk rose. Yes, he remembered. There was still something on his schedule today, wasn't there.
Meanwhile Benn had reached the ship. The only reason Shanks had done so as well was because he had carried her for the last part.
Of course she had regretted sending Mihawk off the moment he had been out of sight. Since Benn couldn't have her break down in the middle of the road he had given her the bottle of sake he had still on him and carried her back as fast as he could. The sobbing little figure in his arms had put a crack even in his heart, the one who had probably teased Shanks the most in her life.
They had attracted more than a few concerned glances on deck and a dozen more grim faces. Her infatuation with the master swordsman was no secret amongst them and so far they had tolerated the man because he had always brought a smile to her face when he was around. But no more, Benn vowed. Hawkeye had crossed a line and now he better not dare come to see her again. Else there might be a massacre on this ship.
Now Shanks was sitting in her cabin, looking out of the window, as if waiting for something.
Her crew was getting more concerned by the minute when she was just sitting there, quietly and staring out to sea, her silence a lot harder to endure than her tears.
Benn had silently walked in to make sure she was still breathing but remained standing by the door. After some time he wondered if he should say something but right at that moment Shanks cracked; her face a grimace of pain.
The silly raft had been lit; soon her love would be ashes as well sinking to the ocean's floor.
Mihawk had exchanged his vows and endured the hideous fire offering. At both occasions he had still scanned the crowd in the vain hope to see a grinning red head.
They were taking to the venue. Of course it had to be in a white carriage. With lavender ribbons. Mihawk felt compelled to destroy everything lavender colored; not only here but every damn purple thing in the world. The only thing he wasn't quite sure of was when to start with his annihilation mission: right away or from tomorrow onward. Half of his bride's, now his wife's, wardrobe would be gone. A smile crept up on his lips. Sounded very desirable.
'I am so glad you like the little additions I made.' Carmen was misinterpreting his smile. The champagne had done its part to lower her ability to judge even further. Looking back at the carriage Mihawk couldn't help the thought of Shanks' laughter at this sight. She might have stolen a ribbon and put it on his suit or, if she had been in a really good mood, put it in her hair. He always came back to the thought; that she should be here.
Not Carmen.
He stopped mid-motion, his heart racing, trying to calm down. Telling him, it was only because he blamed Carmen for driving Shanks off.
This thought had come out of nowhere, yet he couldn't agree more if he was perfectly honest with himself. If he could Mihawk would send Carmen to hell just so that Shanks was back here with him.
'Come silly, we are waiting for you.' His wife tried to lure him into the carriage, her smile gentle, yet strict. Mihawk looked past her and sure enough; her horrible girlfriends were there as well.
'I will lead the horses, you ladies enjoy the ride.' He gave them a small smile.
When he was smiling like this, most would be surprised and smile back, drawn in by the gentleness; a few would recognize it as fake. And Shanks would always laugh at him for trying to fool her. As if he had ever managed to do that. However Shanks occasionally had successfully hidden her true intentions from him and been proud of that too. But Mihawk had another idea why she was able to pull it off in the first place; because he utterly trusted her and always gave her the benefit of the doubt. But seeing how this had not always been to her benefit, maybe there was something like trusting someone too much.
He walked on, his hand on the horse's reins. He needed more time to think. Even though it seemed all he had done all day was to ponder over Shanks' strange behavior he still hadn't come up with a conclusive explanation.
Then a very different thought occured him. Was it normal to think of your friend more than of your bride, wife, whatever, on your wedding day? He sure hoped not. It disturbed him. And yet his thoughts kept drifting to the red head once more.
Yesterday it had all been fine. No – he had been anxious, he remembered. Surpressing a sigh Mihawk closed his eyes in defeat. He had been anxious about whether Shanks would attend or not. And he had even gone as far as checking where her ship was anchored in case he would have to 'pick her up' because she had 'forgotten the time'.
Mihawk walked on, his heartbeat fastening along with his pace. What could he do…
He had no idea.
All he knew is that he desperately needed to talk to Shanks else she might sail away for good and he would never see her again. The wedding was not an issue. He would turn his back the first change he got without a care in the world what his wife might think of that.
The more complicated, more important matter too, was Shanks.
If those tears weren't because of an angry bride, then why had she cried. Because of him? But she had faced him so often with a grin instead of tears, so why-
Mihawk swayed. It couldn't be because he was getting married, could it?
He felt sick. He had never considered her this way. Or rather, if he was compeltely honest, once they had become rivals he had stopped considering her this way.
The sole reason he had even agreed to their first battle was the hope to get at least a date out of it. Never had he dreamed her to be a fighter this capable and so he had closed that door to keep her as a friend.
There was doubt in his mind though, this could all be...wishful thinking... Mihawk closed his eyes in defeat once more. She was no longer his rival. Ever since the moment Shanks had returned from the East Blue, too. He remembered that day all too well, how that smile of hers had shifted to an image of grief.
That smile though...and she had returned to him then, knowing they would no longer be able to be on par with each other.
Had she liked him like this back then too? Mihawk shut his eyes remembering the rest of that meeting. He was a terrible person, he truly was. He deserved no more than he had gotten. Or lost in that case.
He had to at least ask, had to know for sure. Maybe there was still something to mend if he just hurried. One moment when Carmen wasn't looking was all he would wait for.
But for now they had arrived at the venue. And Mihawk was once more tempted to draw Kogatana and remove lavender colored ribbons, flowers and bows from everywhere. He wished he was back in his castle with Shanks and a few bottles of great wine by his side.
The sick feeling in his stomach got worse. Carmen would move in with him tomorrow… she and all the lavender colored horror in her closet. No, he had done a careless mistake.
This all, from start to present had been a terrible mistake. And the only reason that it wasn't a terrible mistake form start to finish was because Mihawk wouldn't allow this to 'finish'. And it wouldn't even be a divorce either, but he doubted Carmen would care much about that insignificant detail.
He felt bad for his bride though; he really couldn't bring himself to call her his wife, knowing he would end it by tomorrow. Regardless of how the day would continue, regardless of what he would tell Shanks or what she might tell him should she speak to him ever again, he had made up his mind. Although it was an uncomfortable situation he felt strangely relieved.
His bride was oblivious to what was going on in his mind; she was holding on to his arm, smiling and waving.
She would get over it, Mihawk decided. She deserved some kind of payback for the humiliation he had to endure with all this white and … lavender. He even hated the mere word by now.
But Shanks… he grew cold. She had ended things between them.
He still had to know. Would still try to make it right. Would at least try to give her some peace.
All these decisions added to his resolve and he felt much calmer the tighter he held on to them.
Without making a fuss they cut the cake together. The boring way, but Mihawk had stopped caring. He would play along, like he was part of a performance. With a blank mind and an absent smile on his lips he waited for his opportunity to slip away.
Shanks was drinking again. And none of her commanders would hold it against her, quite the contrary. They made sure she wouldn't run out of sake.
On that day she was more their little sister than their leader and like good big brothers, they were aching to beat up who had made her cry. They had tried to talk her into leaving the island, but as hard as it was for Shanks to admit, she really didn't want to add the swaying of a possible storm to her drunkenness. The result might end with her hitting the ocean.
Following their doctors advice they had added some sedative to the current bottle she was emptying. They were uneasy to drug her but understood that some rest might be better for her. And once Benn was in charge they would prepare to leave this forsaken place.
So they were relieved when she started to blink more frequently. Soon after she had trouble sitting upright and kept drifting off before the sudden drop of her head woke her up again. It looked adorable whenever her chin fell to her chest and they waited just a bit longer before Yasopp took the initiative and carried her to her bed.
They looked at each other questioningly though. Since she had hardly slept last night, there was a good chance she had a few hours before she would attempt to drown herself once more but that also meant they didn't have to downright rush things to get the ship going.
Mihawk was talking to a distant relative of his when he was approached by a cloud of … lavender. He swore he would burn those dresses and dance around that bonfire. Naked.
'How may I be of service, ladies?' They giggled like the little girls they were. Unbelivably, his bride was the same age. Just what exactly had he thought he was doing? Getting a young bride to get dozens of children from her hips? Hardly. One red haired little daughter however...
'The bride was abducted!' His eyes grew wide. Why were the girls so happy about that?
'Here is your first clue to get her back!' More giggles, and he was handed an envelope. In there was a note:
'To obtain your beloved, you must prove your worthiness
First task: come to the southernmost part of this island,
there you shall receive your next clue.'
Mihawk snorted. Of course they would mistake it for a small laugh. He would not play this stupid game. Instead, he would go and try to obtain his beloved.
He reached the port and felt relieve wash over him. The Red Force was still here, maybe iuck was on his side for once.
He took off his wedding ring. It was time to be a man of his word.
Stepping closer to the water he gained momentum and threw his ring into the sea. He cried out in victory as it hit the whater with a small splash, the weight on his back a lot smaller in an instant. The next thing to go was this horrible little flower-thing on his suit. He threw it up and sliced it in half before it hit the ground. Oh the satisfaction…
He felt so much better all now and his confidence grew with every step he took towards the Red Force and her red haired captain.
But his luck had seemed to run out quickly; Benn was towering on board, eying him with open hatred. Mihawk walked up towards the hull regardless, his pace unchanged. Facing Benn would not be the hardest part of this visit.
'I need to talk to Shanks. Is she aboard?' Mihawk knew this was a very stupid question because even if Shanks would be touring the pubs nearby, Benn would be by her side to make sure she was alright. Once this was all over Mihawk would have to thank him for taking such good care of Shanks.
However, things where nowhere near over just yet. Benn scoffed. 'Fucking else she'd be?! She is resting up. You can't see her now. Since I am first mate, I do not allow you on board.'
Mihawk had expected as much. He sat down at a bench closeby. He could wait; there was no other place he had to be today.
'Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?' Benn was not done with him which wasn't all that bad, Mihawk thought. At least now he had a chance to tell Benn what he had come to realize. Yet how to tell Benn was a whole different problem.
'Well yes, but a certain first mate is not allowing me to do so.' Mihawk thought that explained in few words all that needed to be said. The rest was to be heard for Shanks only.
'What about your wife, Hawkeye? Or has your sense of loyalty sunken that much? And in general... What the hell were you thinking?' Well with these doubts he would never be allowed to see Shanks. So maybe he should indeed take a minute to explain.
'My wife... I was a fool, Benn.' Honesty was the best way this man, the same went for Shanks, Mihawk thought. So why not risk it all on one card. He might as well. After all, he had come here not to gain something, but to give.
'The truth is, Benn Beckman, I thought about Shanks all day. Not my wife or my future life with that cloud of white tulle. I thought also about an adorable red haired girl that maybe I would be lucky enough to call my daughter one day. And I thought about for how long my best friend had carried around this misery without letting me ease it. That's what I thought about all day, Benn.' Mihawk looked down again. He had yelled these words across half of the harbor, words he would have hesitated to tell even Shanks. But if he wasn't bold now then there really was no hope for him anymore. Benn had disappeared and when he returned he trew a wine bottle in Mihawk's direction..
'It might take a while until she wakes up.'
Mihawk caught the bottle and rose it to show he had done so. 'Thank you.'
Benn's gaze however dropped to his hand. 'Where is your wedding ring?
'Oh that… Threw it in the ocean. Very liberating I must say. I would recommend it, although I imagine marrying the right person in the first place would have been the better experience.' Mihawk opened the bottle and drunk a few gulps. Finally some wine, not that sparkly piss he had all day.
Benn had gotten thoughtful when faced with the remorse of the other man. He still doubted his sincerity to a certain degree, after all no man could change this suddenly, and certainly not Dracule Mihawk. But the way Hawkeye leaned back and pinched the back of his nose he seemed like the man he had been acquainted with for many years.
'18 years.' Benn said after a while.
'Excuse me?' Mihawk had been off thinking again and had thought he had missed some information.
'You wanted to know for how long Shanks had been miserable around you. For 18 years. She had carried that longing around for so long and now after breaking her you suddenly -what? Love her?' No matter how much Benn wanted to believe in this sudden change of heart, the doubts were stopping him from letting this man near his captain.
'Love her...' Mihawk laughed. Did he love her? At least he felt more affection for her than anyone or anything else he knew. So did that mean he loved her? He thought about if he would prefer her like she was now or before she had been so terribly injured. And then he laughed again.
'Benn Beckman, I am indeed glad you are her first mate. And I am glad you asked me this. I do love her. If I could I still wouldn't want her with two arms. Because I don't want her as my rival but as my wife.' He smiled to himself thankful for realizing just how much she meant to him when he was finally letting go of the past for good before waltzing into her life again. Mihawk looked up to Benn who wore an expression he couldn't quite decifer.
'You know, I might accidently cause a ruckus when I decide to readjust her door right now. And for no apparent reason of course.' Benn disappeared for a few minutes before returning again and gesturing him to come closer. Mihawk rose, hurried up the ladder to the ship and walked over to the first mate.
'You have one shot at this. Screw it up and I cannot guarantee you will leave this ship unharmed. You gave her a terrible wound this time, Hawkeye.'
Mihawk would take any beating, wouldn't even fight back this once. But there was also another way: not messing Shanks up any further but finally see all of her. His pulse quickened the closer he got to her door. Until he reached it. Mihawk gathered his thoughts one last time, took a deep breath and knocked, determined. He couldn't allow himself to show any hesitation if he wanted Shanks to trust him once more.
A faint mumbling allowed him in and Mihawk noticed that despite his best efforts his hands were shaking. Had he ever been this nervous before in his life? Not that he recalled. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to understand his feelings for her beforehand. Now there was too much at stake for him to be his usual collected self.
When he opened the door Shanks was lying on her bed and even from where he stood Mihawk could hear a sob. She looked over her shoulder and struggled to sit upright, realizing who was standing in her door.
She could just stare at him.
Mihawk noted the puffy eyes and felt guilt boiling up once more. There was only one way to start this. And it wouldn't be the easy way. No, this was the hard and terrifying way.
'Shanks…' He searched for her gaze. Once he had found it he continued. 'I love you.'
She just kept staring. Then she rose, walked over to a wall and smashed her head against it. Mihawk took a step in her direction. That had sounded like it hurt.
'Strange. I seem to be awake. So allow me to ask very bluntly. Have you lost your mind?' Her voice was very serious, no taunting, no mocking. Mihawk closed his eyes and turned to leave. Served him right to get some of that rejection that she must have felt all these 18 years. He gulped trying to get rid of the dry throat.
'I just wanted you to know that. I won't bother you again. I am sorry.' His voice was still coarse but that shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did in fact, seeing how he had to bite back the tears that were ready to gather in the corners of his eyes.
He was at the door when he felt a tugging on his shirt. He turned and she was right there. Looking up into his eyes again. Had she always been this beautiful? Mihawk had no idea, it has been too many years since he had looked at her through such eyes. But he saw her now, saw every detail from the lonely tear that was still clinging to her eye lashes to the lower lip, swollen from the crying and still quivering. But what was even more important right then was what Shanks said.
'Don't go…' Her voice had been low. She leaned up, closed her eyes and put the slightest of kisses on his lips. She retreated and opened her eyes again, looking directly into his. 'I love you too.'
Relieve washed over him; he had not lost her, had come just in the nick of time to save what they could have. His arms wrapped around her waist, clinged to her back and before she could lean in and kiss him again, he had already done so, kissing every bit of her he could reach.
She let out a small laugh. Mihawk was still wondering how this could have ended so well. And would even end better? She was pulling him to her bed… Great, he better got rid of that stuffy jacket and the tight shirt underneath.
Shanks saw him undress and laughed.
'What the hell are you doing? I am still tired and you have a lot of explaining to do. And you are still married, my dear.' She was smiling again faintly as she lay down. Looking up Shanks patted the matrace next to her.
'You don't have to be standing though; I want a lot of explaining.' She winked. Smirking, Mihawk sat down only to be pulled down by her.
'My pillow is broken.' She smiled at him sweetly and he chuckled. Now Mihawk knew how warm she was in his arms like that. A few times before he had comforted her like this but now was the first time he could truly appreciate her warm body so close to his. He kissed her again. How lucky was he to fall in love with a woman like Shanks? Who had a heart as grand as her.
Once they were comfortable he told her of what had happened. Today and in the past And Mihawk didn't leave out what he had told Benn, although that part made Shanks blush like a schoolgirl. And she was smiling again. Not the grin Mihawk was used to, but it had been a very bad day for her. It would be back.
Mihawk thought she was asleep so he stopped talking. Instead he caressed her cheek. It surprised him when she started talking again.
'So… how did you slip away from your own wedding?'
'Oh… that… someone got rid of that white bundle for me. And told me to go look for 'my beloved'…' His voice trailed off and he looked at her with a small smile. 'So I did just that.'
Shanks laughed. 'So they still think you are out there, looking for your bride?' That was hilarious.
Mihawk was quiet for a bit. Then he looked her in the eyes again. 'Well, I think I did a great job of finding her.'
EPILOGUE
Mihawk was waiting patiently in his room. He had a little smile of amusement on his lips concerning the noises next door. He was sure at least once had Shanks already thrown a bottle at someone.
'DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR!' was another common line he could hear from the other room.
Then there was another yell. A very different one this time. A lot more vile and enraged. 'HELL NO! I AM NOT PUTTING THAT ON!'
Mihawk laughed out loud this time. And decided to put his bride out of her misery.
He could be very mischievous at times. So he took the dress that was really meant for Shanks and walked over to the other room. Knocking, he was faced with his accomplice, Benn. They exchanged the dresses both with a grin on their faces.
Mihawk decided to wait outside in the hallway. No way would he miss that show.
'YOU ASSHOLES!' Mihawk laughed again. Shanks was so stressed out. Someone should give her some sake. Soon he was treated to his all time favorite again. 'STOP TOUCHING MY HAIR!'
This time however the door opened and a flash of red and white was about to walk past him when Shanks stopped in her tracks.
She was blushing like a little girl. Mihawk couldn't help but smile. She really looked pretty. Still barefoot and her hair was a mess too, but from what he had heard he figured why.
'Oh, good. You are done.' He smiled at Shanks, holding out his hand.
'My hair isn't…' He walked over and ran his hands through, smoothening it.
'Done.' He smiled again. 'You are really beautiful. You should wear dresses more often.'