Fictitious Law & Order: SVU Episode

Main Cast as of 11-18-09:

Christopher Meloni as Det. Elliot Stabler

Mariska Hargity as Det. Olivia Benson

Richard Belzer as Det. John Munch

Dann Florek as Captain Donald Cragen

Ice-T as Det. Odafin "Fin" Tutuola

B.D. Wong as Dr. George Huang

Tamara Tunie as Medical Examiner Dr. Melinda Warner

Diane Neal as Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak

Guest Staring James Caufield as himself

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"Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to Die"

-Domino Harvey, R.I.P June 27, 2005

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things that go wrong so you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you'll eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

-Marilyn Monroe, R.I.P August 5, 1962

Caufield had to begin his new life as a detective under the watchful eyes of Capt. Cragen. He was, after all, an ex-con who spent 6 ½ years at Rikers Correctional Facility. Caufield was incredibly careful not to screw up, since he only had three 'accident overlook' cards to use.

It was a very cold New York City night. It was December 24th, Christmas Eve. As Det. Caufield was using the crosswalk to get over on to Wall Street, a cabby stopped in front of him. A middle-aged Sudanese man ran up to him. The man was speaking in Egyptian Arabic. He said "officer, I desperately need your help!!!" "Calm down, my friend," I tell him. We walked over to his taxi cab, he opened the back door and he showed me a young white male, around the age of 9. I asked "What happened to him?". "He has a fever, and is out cold," the man says. In English, I radioed in for a bus to come pick the kid up.

As Det. Fin and Det. Benson showed up, the child begins to come to. While the Sudanese man is being questioned, Fin and Benson showed up right as I begin to question the child. "Can you tell me what your name is, child" I asked. "Jimmy", he replied. "What do you so far, Caufield", asked Det. Benson. "All I know is his name, Jimmy"; "Ah, he looks familiar" Benson said while face palming.

Queue Law & Order: SVU Theme Music

"I know his family" I told Benson and Stabler. "How so" asked Stabler inquisitively. "I baby sat for their son for a few months before going to Rikers". "Some fate, eh" sighs Benson as she and Benson headed to the car. "I'll ride with 'em; tell Capt. Cragen " I said while waving goodbye.

"Members of the jury, how do you find the defendant, Mr. Caufield" asked Hon. Judge Rashin. "In the sole count of murder in the 2nd degree, we find the defendant guilty".

"The kid should make a full recovery," the doctor said in a simply-put tone. "Thank God" I sigh. "Because of the extensive surgery, he will need to stay here for a full recovery" the doc said. As I nod to the doctor, Det. Stabler shows up and tells me quickly "M.E. Warner wants to see you, NOW!!"

Office of Medical Examiner Warner, Monday, December 25th, Noon high

"The kid has major scarring around his rectum and genitalia" Dr. Warner says with a rather tired expression. "Your telling me the kid was raped," I said, with my face looking like it got high by a golf ball. "Pretty much; the perp who did this seems to be pretty aggressive," Dr. Warner says, sighing. "Damn," being the only word I could say with straight face. "Do you know this kid", Dr. Warner asks, with slightly curious face. "Yeah, I baby sat for his parents before going to Rikers," I said, holding back tears. "I read the case, I honestly believe you were wrongfully convicted of murder 2," she says while giving me a hug.

Special Victims Department December 25th, 3:45 pm

"The hell is wrong with you," Fin bluntly asks. "I just saw some kid I used to know have the shit raped out of him; imagine how bad I feel," I state in an aggressive tone. "Sounds like a bad night with some bitch slapped past demons," Munch says over a cup of Americano coffee. "Pretty much, Munch" I laugh. "That's not something to laugh at," Capt. Cragen. "I know, I was laughing at how accurate Munch was", I said while trying to stop my laughing. "Captain, Dr. Warner wants us in her office now," Stabler says while trying to slow his breathing.

Office of Medical Examiner Warner, Monday, December 25th, 4:30 pm

"Well, I found spermicide on the victims underwear and on his pants," Dr. Warner says while putting on her coat. "How old is it" I ask, almost buzzing with rage. "Its at least a few days old" Dr. Warner says, showing me the sheet with the chemical readout and the brand. "So, we're looking for a guy who uses Trojan ribbed condoms" I say through a face palm. "Yeah", says Dr. Warner. "Also, the perp left a bit of his semen in the condom I found; his name ... oh my god..." says Dr. Warner, shaking. "Who the hell is it," I ask. "Its.. Its.. It's my ex-husband" she says, crying. "I'll talk to Novak, she might be able to get an arrest warrant" I tell her while running downstairs. "I'm coming with you" Dr. Warner says, grabbing her jacket.

Office of ADA Casey Novak, Monday, December 25th, 5:15 pm

"Well, the semen found on the inside of the condom and the spermicide should be enough for a search warrant," Novack states calmly. "Good, how long