Treacherous Hearts
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or its characters and so on
Authors note: Well, I'm back. I haven't been here for the last two years, and then all of a sudden I stumbled over this fic. I started it in 2005, so I thought I would upload it and see if people are still interested in Taitos ;
The story contains gay stuff and homophobia and alcoholism and such later on, so don't read it if you don't like that.
Chapter one: Will you still recall my name?
Drinking water to stay thin
Or is it to purify?
I love you all the same
But there's no, no real with my fury But you stole the sun from my heart You have broken through my armour I paint the things I want to see here But you stole the sun from my heart Think I'm lost among the undergrowth But you stole the sun from my heart I have got to stop smiling
You don't have to believe me
I love you all the same
You stole the sun from my heart
You stole the sun from my heart
You stole the sun from
You stole the sun from
Aaaaahhhh
And I don't have an answer
I love you all the same
But it don't come easy
I love you all the same
You stole the sun from my heart
You stole the sun from my heart
You stole the sun from
You stole the sun from
Aaaaaaahhhh
So much so I woke up
I love you all the same
You stole the sun from my
You stole the sun from my heart
You stole the sun from
You stole the sun from
Aaaaaahhhhh
It gives the wrong impression
"Taichi! Wake up!"
I stretched out upon my bed, not bothering to answer. The song ended and I took of my headphones, pushing the "stop" button on the CD-player.
My sister had been calling for me every five minutes for the last hour, but I didn't bother to tell her that I was actually awake already.
"TAICHI!"
Yup, that was my name. Or Tai for short. Seventeen years old, brown hair, brown eyes. I'm not tall but not short either, not stupid but not too intelligent. I guess I would describe myself as ordinary. I wake up, go to school, go home, watch TV and then I sleep and the next day I do the same things again. That's my life. It's how I get through the days. By not stopping to think; I stick to my routines and hope that I will be able to go on for a couple of more weeks.
I yawned and glanced at the digital clock on my bedside table. 10:32. My sister was a freak, she actually thought that she could make me get out of bed before eleven o'clock at a Saturday morning.
"Dream on, little sis", I said to no one in particular.
But ten minutes later, I realised that I couldn't go back to sleep. Listening to music had chased my sleep away and now I was just bored. And besides, I was also hungry so I found no real reason not to get up.
I yawned once again and looked around to see if there were any clothes in reach. Unfortunately not, so I had to get out of my bed and walk to my closet. I picked out a pair of old worn out jeans, a T-shirt and – after a glance through the window – a warm black polo-neck sweater.
My room was really messy even to be mine. Piles of stuff was everywhere on the floor and the bed was all messed up with the mattress almost slid down to the floor. The thought of cleaning up flashed through my brain before settling in the forgotten and unused parts of my head where it belonged.
When I was on my way out of the room, a shining object on my desk drew my attention away from the waiting breakfast.
"TAICHI YOU LAZY BASTARD!!"
I ignored her once again and waded through the clothes and books to reach the desk. The shining object turned out to be a photography, covered by a layer of dust (hey, I did clean my room sometimes). I blew the dust away and took a closer look at the picture.
My heart almost missed a beat.
I remembered the day that photo was taken. It was 16 months ago, at summer vacation. The beach was full of people and the water warm.
I remembered that it was a really hot day. Tons of ice-cream must have been consumed.
I remembered that he asked me to come to the beach with him.
The picture showed two boys, about fifteen years old, standing just where the water met the shore. One of them tanned, athletic, with brown hair that stuck out from the head in a lot of different directions. The other one pale and thin with shoulder long golden hair. Both boys were smiling, not knowing anything about sadness or emptiness, not yet bothered by life.
I felt my legs starting to shake. Shivering I realised I couldn't breath. My legs didn't bear me anymore, so I sat down on my bed, trying to catch my breath.
I had almost forgotten. No, not forgotten. But at least accepted.
The brown haired teen on the photo was me. Back then when everyone described me as playful, joyful, and weird. When I still enjoyed being wild and free.
And the other boy, the angelic one…
"TAICHI YAGAMI YOU BETTER GET OUT HERE NOW OR YOU WON'T GET ANY BREAKFAST!"
With a sigh I put the photography on the bedside table. I couldn't watch it. I closed my stinging eyes and took a deep breath.
I got up from the bed and walked out into the kitchen. My little sister, Kari, was sitting at the table, looking rather pissed off.
"Oh, you're here. Good."
Kari, my oh-so-loved sister. She was fifteen years old, but behaved as if she were my mother. So she had for the past year. People said she changed when I did. After that horrible autumn.
"Sorry Kari", I said and sat down at the table.
She snorted.
"You know that if you didn't sleep half the days every weekend, it would be easier for you to get up for school. Your body would get used to getting up early and…"
"Okay okay, I get it", I snapped.
She looked surprised. I didn't usually snap at her.
"Well, sorry then", she said, offended.
I didn't listen.
Okay, I didn't usually treat my sister like this. I just got in a really bad mode after seeing…
"Tai? Is there something you want to talk about?"
"Huh?"
"You seem to be a little down. You know I'll listen if you want to talk."
I couldn't resist smiling. She was so nice.
"Thank you but no thank you", I said.
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
But I offered her a wink and another smile. That seamed to take away her worries and she started to put some marmalade on a piece of bread.
I nodded weakly. She continued to stare. It freaked me out.
"What?" I snapped.
She just kept staring. I stood up.
"I'm not hungry."
While walking towards my room I could feel her worried gaze stinging me in the back. I knew I acted weird, but there was nothing I could do. There was too many memories that had been woke up by that photo; I couldn't keep them away and that scared me.
I got into my room again, and immediately lay down upon the bed with my arms behind my neck. I stared at the ceiling, at the tiny cracks like a spider web through the white colour.
So many memories, so little room for them. I didn't want to have them this close. I had learned to live with them, but now they wanted a part of me. My heart.
I really thought I had accepted it.
My life really changed after that, oh yeah it did. I think everybody noticed, because I changed, I hid from the world and tried to neglect my old self just to keep the memories away.
Maybe they thought I overreacted, maybe they thought it was in vain. Changing who I was wouldn't do anything, it was too late, things had already happened.
Oh how I wished I could go back in time, change those things that went wrong.
God, I acted as if someone had died. Well, close enough, because that was how it felt in my heart. Death is when someone loved leave us. Then I guess death was what I felt. Pure death. It ate my heart, nagged at my brain.
I turned on the music, trying to distract my thoughts before regret made me do something stupid.
The ringing of the phone woke me up from my thoughts.
"I'll answer!" Kari shouted.
I nodded, even though I was fully aware that she couldn't possibly see that.
"Hello", I heard her eager voice from the hall.
Then there was silence for quite a while. She mumbled something in a low, harsh voice. Curiosity made me get out of the bed and open my bedroom door to hear what she was saying. Kari was never irritated at people, but now it sounded as if she was arguing with someone.
When she saw me standing there, she said "Hold on" and turned away from the phone.
"It's for you", she said in a voice that was almost cracking.
"Who is it?" I asked.
She didn't answer, just kissed me on the cheek and then left. Confused by her behaviour I picked up the phone.
"Yeah?"
"Hey Tai. It's me."
I frowned.
"Who?"
"Don't you recognise my voice?"
A shiver went down my spine. That voice, I knew it so well…
"It's me, Yamato."
Click.
I hung up on him.
Well, there it it. First chapter. Tell me what you think.
(oh, and the song is "You stole the sun from my heart" by Manic Street Preachers)
Love, Snowflke