Disclaimer: don't own A.T.O.M
I really have no idea why I wrote this… it was 1:00 AM and I was bored, that and I was sorta in a Shark/Lioness mood. And I wanted to write a fic completely from one person's point of view. Anyway I haven't seen that much of the cartoon so I haven't done a whole big action thing. I just like the Shark/Lioness paring.
Updated to sort out footnotes and paragraph spacing, should be easier to read hopefully.
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I sigh as I turn the page of the book in front of my face, pretending to be engrossed in it rather than bored out of my mind. I whished I could be doing something right now, playing football, swimming… anything. But the dull patter of the water hitting the glass reminds me why I'm cooped up inside. I've never really liked the rain. I don't complain that much when I'm in it, I don't usually have time to think about it when my friends and me are busy saving the world.
But on days like this when nothing is happening, I just notice it more and I always end up in a bad mood. The guys at least know this, I can't count the number of times I've yelled at them just because it's raining and I'm bored. But at least they don't hold it against me, well Hawk pretends to but that's just him being an overdramatic baby.
A small grin tugs at my mouth at that thought; it kind of makes it sound like I hate him. I don't really; he's like the big vain brother that I never had. And definitely has the girl crazy part down to a key, I don't think there's a single girl he hasn't flirted with. Not that I mind. He thinks I like him in that way, but I don't he's just a little too self obsessed for me.
I look up as I hear a crash sound from the kitchen, Hawk running out as fast as he can with a very pissed off King following him. I feel my grin widen as I notice that King is covered almost from head to toe in taffy, the sticky substance making it difficult for the tall guy to run properly. A set of laughing voices draws my eyes back to the kitchen door, Axel and Shark appearing in my line of sight. Axel leans against the doorframe in a desperate attempt to hold him self up, while Shark had given up and was sitting on the ground clutching his middle as he tried to stop his laughter.
The sight of them two finally breaks me from my mood and I feel a laugh escape my lips, joining in with the happy moment. Our laughter dies eventually both boys by the kitchen give me a wave before wandering off in different directions, though Shark as always accompanies his wave with a wide grin. I give both a small smile before turning my attention back to the book, occasionally smirking whenever a shout from King echoes through the apartment.
It's not long before my mind starts wandering again, I never have been able to stay focused on the same thing for too long, and when I'm bored it gets worse. I look away from the book in my lap and lean my head back against the couch, the soft material bracing my neck. It's almost ironic really that Axel and Shark seem to always appear at the same time, almost as if the universe of playing games with me.
I don't know why I'm drawn to both of them, why couldn't I just like one instead? It would make my life a lot simpler, though simple is hardly a word I am familiar with now. I just don't get it, most girls are attracted to one guy, one. And here I am thinking about two. The problem is that they both have qualities that I admire, and like them for.
Axel is hardworking, though not to the extent where he doesn't know how to have fun. I can always count on him to be there by my side whenever we fight. I never have to check where he is all the time. I know for a fact that he will always do everything he can to make everything better, even if it means sacrificing his own life. I can't begin to describe how much I admire him for that, but it also makes me sad.
The knowledge that he cares about everyone, more than he does one person it almost cuts like a knife into my chest. I would never be at the top of his list, ever. And it isn't as though he hasn't hurt me in the past, he has. Shutting me and everyone else out because of his issues. Some girls like the whole mysterious thing, I don't. It's not like I expect a relationship to be easy, but considering how much work it takes to be friends with him… it sometimes makes me wonder how hard actually being with him would be. I close my eyes, partly angry with myself. I've made him sound like a monster, and he definitely isn't.
What about Shark anyway? The prankster who can never take anything seriously. The boy who would rather come up with party plans than combat plans. He's almost opposite to me in every way… yet. Yet I can never be angry with him for it, he's my best friend. I can't count on him in a fight, but I always know that he will be there afterwards. No matter what mood I'm in, all he has to do is give me one of his smiles and suddenly everything's better. He never shuts down and hides behind walls when I want to talk to him. He can be serious, the others don't believe me but it's true. He can be just as kind as Axel, but I just know that with him it'd be me at the top and no one else.
It almost sounds as if he's the easy option, but I always remind myself that nothing about a relationship is easy. The number of times I've had to walk every inch on this place because I can't find him is numerous. But he's always there when I need him, and never turns away because things are hitting too close to home. I sometimes wonder what made him so cheery, why does he always smile? Yet I know that if I asked him he would tell me, that's the thing with him all I have to do is ask. I don't have to fight; don't have to feel my heart ache from a cold glare as he walks away.
It almost sounds as if I have made my choice doesn't it? But it's not as clear-cut as that. For some reason I still find myself torn everyday, and it's because I don't want to answer the big question that sifts through my mind on an hourly basis. Who do I love? It sounds silly for a young girl like me to be asking that, but deep down I know. I know that the flutter in my tummy, the heavy pounding of my heart, the feeling as if I'm flying in heaven. Is more than just a crush. How can it be something that childish when the thoughts going through my mind are anything but?
Another sigh escapes my lips, why couldn't I have been with girls? Then at least I wouldn't have this problem, or I would and it would be far more troubling. A smile tugs at my mouth; I really have been living with guys for too long. I'm longing for the companionship of my own gender.
Soon though my thoughts shift back to my original problem, the two boys, no men that I am torn between. My smile instantly fades, but my eyes remain closed. Some would say it is simple, to figure out which one you loved just see who makes your heart pound with adoration, who makes that knot appear in your belly. But what about if they both do?
And that is my problem; they both cause that unexpected but welcomed feeling. It scares me and excites me at the same time. I would talk to someone, but the closest I can get to girl talk is with Hawk. And no doubt he would say that I wanted a threesome, an idea that definitely repulses me.
I open my eyes as I hear a cheery voice sound from behind me, opening my eyes my heart races as I am greeted with an upside-down view of Shark's face. His clear blue eyes staring into my own, instantly a smile appears on my face. I sit up as he casually hops over the back of the couch, landing on the cushions with a thud. Without asking permission he takes the book from my hands and looks at it, making sure to keep my place marked. For some reason my heart pulls at that small gesture. I look round as the clatter of equipment sound in the room, almost laughing hysterically as I see Axel set up his training stuff.
The universe is out to punish me I am sure of it. Again my heart thuds in my chest, not helped by the fact that the brunette is wearing a muscle top. His strong arms uncovered for all to see, he gives me a small nod before starting his exercises. I watch him for a while, letting the blonde beside me inspect my book in piece. A voice to my left causes me to turn my head, Shark handing me back my book as a wisecrack about it leaves his mouth. It is hardly the most intelligent or well thought out remark, but I smile regardless. Enjoying the way his eyes twinkle from his comment, proud with it even.
It is at that moment I realise who I have chosen, I almost berate myself the signs had been there all along and in overanalysing my feelings I had missed them. I had missed the way I am able to judge his moods, no matter if a bright smile was upon his face. I had missed the way my eyes always do a quick scan of his body, and never being disappointed with what I saw. I had missed that I was always in a better mood with him around. I missed that if he annoyed me I would never stay angry with him for long. I had missed… a lot of things. And I finally seem to notice how my heart beats faster when I'm near him, and how the flutter in my belly twists in anticipation. They always say you flirt with the larger than life guy, but fall in love with your best friend. Perhaps there is some truth to that statement.
My eyes briefly flicker back to Axel, his hands holding the punching bag still as he looks at Shark and me. His face is expressionless and sullen, he has noticed too. He looks away from me and resumes his exercise, aware that he kept me waiting far too long. A pang of guilt surfaces, I had never intended to hurt anyone. As if he can read my mind he looks back up at me again, giving me a small smile. Reassuring me that he doesn't hate me for this, he understands that he lost his chance.
A small smile reaches my lips, silently thanking him for not being a douche about this, my attention returning to the blonde by my side. The guilt still there but fading a little with each second, Axel will find someone I know it. Looking out the window I see that the rain has stopped, eagerly jumping up I grab Shark's hand and pull him towards the garage. He understands and moves to my side, a large grin across his face at finally being able to get out of the apartment.
He moves to remove his hand from mine, aware that I normally don't like to be touched. But I pull his back, keeping a firm hold. He looks at me, confusion clearly etched across his face. Grinning at him it's not long before he understands. Lacing his fingers with mine we walk through the door. I don't know where these new feelings will take me, but I am more than eager to find out.
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Constructive criticism is always welcome; flamers will be ignored and thrown to Kezef the Chaos hound, who lives in my cupboard.