I am a shadow.
A brief glimpse of a place now forever closed to us.
Oh, I am still vibrant, for Aslan's light fills me, and my faith, still strong and pure, shines from me like a beacon.
Peter smiles sadly when he sees it, a distant look in his eye as he remembers battles, and friends, and a golden crown. He is still magnificent, even here, though it is dimmer and you have to look to see it.
Edmund is perhaps the most pleased when he notices. Quiet and reserved, he sits quietly back to pass the judgment of the just. But it hurts him that here, he has no power to affect change. But my faith reminds him to hope as well, and his eyes light up.
But to Susan, I am a reminder of pain. She turns away as I come near, hiding her doubt and anger at being here and not there. My heart aches for her. She has lost all faith and semblance of hope. Sometimes I believe she hates me for it, for still believing in a place she feels has let her down.
But I am still a shadow. The former glory of Queen Lucy the Valiant has been reduced to a little girl's stubborn belief that Aslan would never let her down, never truly leave. So I search still, for a purpose, a reason, for being here. For leaving a land I loved more than anything to be here in a world of grey. Of sorrow.
Aslan's light still fills me, but every time I fail to see the reason I am here, it seems to dim a bit more. Susan's went out a long time ago. Edmund's is well-hidden, but his quiet conviction won't fail him. Peter's seems dim, as he has placed Narnia to rest in his memories. But every now and then, a moment of royalty will burst through, and the magnificent light of Aslan fills Peter again, and I am overjoyed, for I am not the only shadow.
But the light fades every day.