The House that Love Built
By NocturneD
Note: Another random story with crack type humor. Do not say I did not warn you. Also, do not give me crap saying the characters are not in character. Its fanfiction and if you do not like that. Go watch the show this is fun time.
It was another day at the Read house. Except on this day, it was on fire. The entire building was engulfed in flames. Thankfully the entire family was outside watching along with the rest of the neighborhood. The fire department arrived to extinguish the raging flames as the ambulance treated the injured.
"Arthur?" David Read asked.
"Yeah dad?" Arthur looked up at his father.
"This is the last time I throw you a birthday party with a clown that smokes." David said.
"Pickles the clown was not that bad." Arthur said.
"Son he smoked grass, pissed on the carpet, hit on your grandmother, tried to start a fight with me, was obviously drunk, backed up the toilet then went through your mother's underwear drawer." David listed off. "But not in the order."
"Dad, Binky was the one that clogged the toilet." Arthur frowned. "Matter of fact, I think he is still in there."
"Not surprising." David grunted.
Just then they heard a toilet flush from inside the burning house.
"Arthur! I think your house is on fire!" Binky shouted after finally realizing he was trapped in a burning building.
"We know Binky!" Arthur shouted from the outside. "We're all outside laughing at your ass!"
The next day the Read home was pretty much burnt to the ground. Binky somehow escaped unscathed his destiny somehow was to destroy every toilet he came across. The Read family was reduced to living in the garage thankfully was not connected to the house. Grandma Thora offered but DW said something about her house smelling like old dog urine. Grandpa Dave also offered but due to his Alzheimer disease he forgot where the family lived and accidentally asked a hooker to live with him with her kids.
Life somewhat went back to normal despite not living in a real house anymore. There were charities to help donate to the Read family but as usual there were a few assholes out there saying that there were poorer people than them and sparked a debate. Then it ended in a fist fight. Then some arrests.
Arthur and DW went back to school normally. Their clothes came from the Good Will as Arthur wore a shirt that said 'Slut' on it. Of course he was pulled into the office because of how vulgar it was and told to turn the shirt inside out. DW wore a shirt that said, 'Accident' on it. No one really called her out on it and pretty much agreed on it. Though there was some name calling as they were called the 'garage family' because you know why.
It was a cruel few weeks but family and friends finally pulled together and decided to send them on a small vacation to clear their heads. Where to you ask? Who cares as long as they were out of town so the crowd could work on rebuilding their house. Thing were not going according to plan because the construction was downright insane. Or just plain stupid because someone ordered not enough or too much of something.
The Read family finally returned from their vacation from some ghetto. Thanks a lot Mr. Crosswire. Can't even chip in to give the Read family a relaxing vacation. The family station wagon was sprayed with graffiti and missing a few hubcaps, along with some bullet holes riddled the side of the car. Plus someone threw a brick at their windshield.
Arthur and his family stepped out of the car to find that their friends and neighbors rebuilt their house. It was so amazing on the outside like it was recreated from the exact detail. The Reads thanked the volunteers and were speechless. Until they inside and found it was a madhouse. The walls were missing or had holes in them. Floor tiles were broken, it was utter chaos.
"Come on let's show you the new house." Mr. Frensky lead the Read family inside. "This is your living room."
"Wow." Mr. Read pretended to like it. There was a big ass hole in the ceiling for some reason.
"Hey is that my room up there?" DW asked.
"Sure is kiddo. We heard you liked being a fire fighter so we... decided to put a stripper pol... I mean a fire pole in your room so it can go all the way down here." Mr. Frensky smiled.
"He didn't finish is what he's trying to say." Mrs. Frensky added.
Within a few minutes after seeing the crazy house they made an astonishing observation.
"Hey uh. I don't remember there being a toilet in every room." Mr. Read pointed out.
"Oh yeah. We had a slight miscalculation." Mr. Barnes chuckled.
They were standing in the kitchen looking at the toilet sitting next to the refrigerator.
"Now you can poop while you prepare meals." Mrs. Barnes laughed.
"Wow. My bedroom has a toilet next to my bed." Arthur smiled. "Now I don't have to wait for DW hogging the bathroom."
"Whoa. There's even a toilet in the bathroom!" DW chimed in.
"That's because it's a bathroom retard." Arthur added.
"Too bad Binky probably shit in all of them before you came home." Francine added.
"The house does smell funny after all." Mrs. Read fanned the smell away from her face.
"No I smell something else." Mr. Frensky sniffed. "Almost like gas."
"Did no one check the gas line?" Mr. Read asked.
"Let me go check just incase." Mr. Frensky wandered over to the stove to check on it. "Oh here's the problem."
"HERE I GOT A LIGHT!" DW held up a lighter and snapped it away with flame.
Then the house exploded with everyone inside. Except for Pickles the clown who arrived late to the welcome home party for the Reads. He sat in the driveway watching the house burn.
"Welp... My work is done here." He got into his 1974 Pinto and backed up into a fire hydrant. His car then exploded on impact.
the end...
note: yeah no point to that.