A few short fanfic about every inside jokes me and my friends came up with about warcraft.

Syndical break

Warden Maiev Shadowsong made her way through the barrow prison with the ease anyone who had been working in the same place for ten thousand years should have. Once again, she would spend the day watching over the most dangerous prisoner known to the night elves, the sorcerer Illidan Stormrage.

Her eyes were getting a bit swollen, a hundred centuries of insomnia can do that, but she cared not, she would not relent from her task in any way, for enforcing night elf justice was her reason to live.

Arriving at the cage, she saw the same thing as she ever did since Illidan was locked up: A blind night elf with a high ponytail armed with twin warpblades. One of her watchers had once questioned the wisdom of not disarming Illidan before locking him up, referring to something called common sense (Maiev had this young elf executed, for questioning Illidan's state of captivity was an undeniable proof of her complicity with the traitor).

"Warden Shadowsong…" Illidan greeted her "Don't you ever take a day off?"

"AH! Nice try Illidan, I'm on to you, you've got your little evasion plan all figured out…but you can't go trough with it as long as I'm here…well though luck, I AM WATCHING YOU!" Maiev's eyes were twitching from paranoia, so much that her lieutenant, Naïsha, took a few steps back. Illidan himself seemed a little psyched out.

Naïsha cleared her throat loudly before addressing a thorny issue with her mistress: Lady Shadowsong, the other watchers and I have been talking and we believe you should take today off…"

"AHAH! Traitors, you want him to escape!"

"No Mistress, we just think you're overdoing it, you haven't slept and barely ate in 10000 years, Illidan as no way to leave his cage without outside help and you know you can trust us, your just victim of sleep depravation induced paranoia."

Maiev seemed ready to reply, probably with heated accusation of treachery, but the words seemed to have gotten to her.

"You're probably right…but I really can't leave him unwatched…" said Maiev.

"Don't worry, I've asked a keeper of the grove to watch over him while you take your first break in ten millennia, he'll do fine. Beside, it's not like anyone on the surface is stupid enough to come down here and free Illidan and since he can't escape on his own, it'll all be fine." Naïsha assured.

"You must be right…thanks you Naïsha, I guess I really need a break.

And thus, Maiev Shadowsong and Naïsha left the barrow prison for some rest…

"Few, I sure am glad she's gone, its bad enough being caged underground for eternity, having to listen to Maiev's ranting is just cruel…" Illidan sighed.

5 minutes later…

Tyrande and her sentinel party, though Malfurion had clearly worded out his disapproval (but as Tyrande had said: only Elune can forbid me anything), stormed the barrow prison, murdered the watchers, scorned at the warning that: "Your goddess too has condemn the one you seek to free..." (At this point, it is safe to assume that Tyrande is monstrously stupid, unbelievably thick headed or simply far, far too compassionate), made it to Illidan's prison and freed the guy.

5 more minutes later…

"Maiev, I insist that you rest a little more, 15 minutes can't catch back ten thousand years." Naïsha insisted.

"I know, I know, I'll just check out the prison, just to make sure he's…" Maeiv froze, her glowing eyes widened to double their sizes as she saw the cage destroyed and the betrayers gone…

Her left eye was twitching manically; she started to mumble, for she couldn't find words to express her rage at this point. Every watcher in sight had been murdered and Illidan was gone…in fifteen freaking minutes!

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE!" Maeiv screamed.

A still breathing night elf guardian crawled up to her and explained that the high priestess of Elune had come personally and freed the traitor.

Maiev turned a face so twisted with rage it would make an orc back off toward her lieutenant: "Beside, it's not like anyone on the surface is stupid enough to come down here and free Illidan…" she repeated, clearly mad.

"Well…I would I know Tyrande was that stupid…why would she free Illidan anyway?" Naïsha defended herself.

The still living guardian, who would have probably lived, had either of the arguing nigh elves though of giving her medical attention, explained that Tyrande hoped for the treacherous sorcerer to help against the invasion of the burning legion.

"What, we're under attack by the burning legion! Why didn't anyone tell us?" said Naïsha in surprise.

"Never mind that, get the remaining watchers, we're hunting down Illidan." Maiev ordered.

"But Maiev, the demons…"

"Screw the demons; I said we're going after Illidan!" Maiev repeated.

"But…" Naïsha ultimately decided that it was no use trying to convince her mistress that defending their ancestral homeland against an army of demon was more important than recapturing a single night elf. She really couldn't understand this, how much harm could Illidan do anyway, its not like he was going to become a monstrously powerful half demon entity by absorbing the power of an ancient arcane artifact overnight, or that he would then recall to him the descendent of the highborn night elves to claim an piece of Sargeras body in order to rip the planet apart in the name of one of the demon lords…

Beside, even if Tyrande had been dumb enough to free him, she certainly would take the precaution of not letting him out of her sight, not giving him control over an army and not sending him in the most corrupted forest of kalimdor, even she was smarter than that.

And even if she indeed was that stupid, surely Malfurion knew better than to completely trust his brother.

Reassured by these though and with renewed faith in the night elves leader's competence, Naïsha followed Maiev to hunt down Illidan, should be easy enough…

(The moral of this story: Common sense is not a virtue of the night elves.)