Humor Between Prof. Snape and Prof. McGonagall
ship: Snape/McGonagall
R for innuendos
*************************************************************************Dis claimer--I do not own Harry Potter, anything related to it, or the Pillsbury Doughboy. I don't even own my own underpants.... ************************************************************************* Snape, Longbottom, McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Malfoy have a magical run in involving a broom closet...... *************************************************************************
*Dumbledore had been doing his rounds around the school, as he usually had done, just to make sure that there was no "horseplay" up and about between students going on. He turned a corner by the broom closet on the third floor *the forbidden one mind you* and heard muffled pig calls *SOOOUWEEEEE!!!* coming from behind the door. Dumbledore tip toed over to the closet and flung the door open....*
"I gotcha now you little ras..." He stooped mid sentence at the sight. Before him stood Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall in full embrace, sitting upon a bucket with a bottle of glass cleaner in one hand and a sock in the other. "What in the name of Merlin is going on in here!?!?!?" McGonagall, in a panicked attempt to untangle herself from Snape's robes, tumbled backwards and landed head first into a cauldron full of hippogriff dung. **what's that doing a broom closet you ask?....I have no idea....** Snape leapt up, hitting his head on a shelf, splitting it in two while pushing his greasy hair out of his bloodshot eyes. "Well, well, well. Two of my most esteemed teachers making animal calls in a broom closet on the third floor. How peculiar." He turned to Snape. "For the love of Merlin, man, tuck those shorts back into your pants!...AND YOU !" He turned to Mcgonagall holding up a piece of plaid stockings. You have your own dorm, correct? Couldn't you have waited the five minutes it takes to saunter up there?!" Mcgonagall glanced up at Dumbledore with a look of disbelief, then looked back to Snape, apparently still in shock.. Snape looked as if he just found that his mother shagged Professor Dippet to get him on the Slytherin Quidditch team back in his Hogwarts days. **cub scouts honor its true i swear!** Just then. Neville wandered over eating a dead mandrake with his finger up his nose. He looked skeptically at the professors in their "odd" predicament. "AAAAHHHHH!!" he exclaimed. "Heeeeeeeey, I know what you guys were doing! My mummy and daddy used to do that all the time! Where you two polishing the broomsticks too?" A dumbfounded Dumbledore, a misshapen Mcgonagall, and a stupefied Snape stood in shock at the innocent and naive young Gryffindor that stood before them. Dumbledore quickly broke the silence. "Now, now, Neville! Put that mandrake down. My, my, look at the time! Don't you have herbology now? I'm sure you'll find a nice, fresh and live mandrake there to snack on." Neville nodded enthusiastically and bounded down the hallway with much more flamboyantness then was necessary for a third year Gryffindor, as he gracefully.......tripped over his own two feet and flew majestically down the nearest staircase and onto a bewildered Draco Malfoy. "What the hell is wrong with you, you demented Pillsbury dough boy!?" Neville responded, "I fall down and go boom! Thank you for breaking my fall!" As Neville continued down the hallway, Draco screamed out in pain. "My hip! You broke my hip you fat tub of vegetable shortening!! Just wait 'till I get back from the infirmary, Longbottom!!!"
***meanwhile back at chez broom closet***
"I would really quite appreciate it if you kept your "extra-curricular activities" out of the curriculum", a calm yet quite disgusted Dumbledore stated to the two bewildered teachers. Snape quickly replied, "she was choking on a piece of meat and I........" "And whose meat were you choking on professor?" Dumbledore interjected in McGonagall's general direction. "I was not choking Sevvie, I mean Severus." She exchanged glances with Snape, then Dumbledore. "We were simply working on inter-house relations!" Dumbledore chuckled. "It would be greatly appreciated if you cut the relations to a less friendly level." Dumbledore exited the closet **yes folks, they were in the closet the WHOLE time** and shut the door behind him. Just as he did so, a cauldron fell upon Snape's head, knocking him out cold. In McGonagall's frantic attempt to extricate Snape from the closet, she flung open the door knocking into Malfoy's stretcher, which was in tow behind Madam Pomfrey, sending it careening down the hallway and down the flight of stairs he had just ascended, whilst screaming out "damn you all !!"
************************************************************************* TBC.......
A/N: This is my first fic, and I hope those of you who enjoy seeing Draco hurt will enjoy future chapters.
Next Chapter: ***mcgonagall takes herself outta four wheel drive and throws her mojo into neutral and gently applies the brakes, as her profession is at stake. And, not to forget my previous statement, Draco will be sent to the infirmary in a slapstick, comedic fashion!**
Grand Theft Popsicle
*************************************************************************Dis claimer--I do not own Harry Potter, anything related to it, or the Pillsbury Doughboy. I don't even own my own underpants.... ************************************************************************* Snape, Longbottom, McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Malfoy have a magical run in involving a broom closet...... *************************************************************************
*Dumbledore had been doing his rounds around the school, as he usually had done, just to make sure that there was no "horseplay" up and about between students going on. He turned a corner by the broom closet on the third floor *the forbidden one mind you* and heard muffled pig calls *SOOOUWEEEEE!!!* coming from behind the door. Dumbledore tip toed over to the closet and flung the door open....*
"I gotcha now you little ras..." He stooped mid sentence at the sight. Before him stood Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall in full embrace, sitting upon a bucket with a bottle of glass cleaner in one hand and a sock in the other. "What in the name of Merlin is going on in here!?!?!?" McGonagall, in a panicked attempt to untangle herself from Snape's robes, tumbled backwards and landed head first into a cauldron full of hippogriff dung. **what's that doing a broom closet you ask?....I have no idea....** Snape leapt up, hitting his head on a shelf, splitting it in two while pushing his greasy hair out of his bloodshot eyes. "Well, well, well. Two of my most esteemed teachers making animal calls in a broom closet on the third floor. How peculiar." He turned to Snape. "For the love of Merlin, man, tuck those shorts back into your pants!...AND YOU !" He turned to Mcgonagall holding up a piece of plaid stockings. You have your own dorm, correct? Couldn't you have waited the five minutes it takes to saunter up there?!" Mcgonagall glanced up at Dumbledore with a look of disbelief, then looked back to Snape, apparently still in shock.. Snape looked as if he just found that his mother shagged Professor Dippet to get him on the Slytherin Quidditch team back in his Hogwarts days. **cub scouts honor its true i swear!** Just then. Neville wandered over eating a dead mandrake with his finger up his nose. He looked skeptically at the professors in their "odd" predicament. "AAAAHHHHH!!" he exclaimed. "Heeeeeeeey, I know what you guys were doing! My mummy and daddy used to do that all the time! Where you two polishing the broomsticks too?" A dumbfounded Dumbledore, a misshapen Mcgonagall, and a stupefied Snape stood in shock at the innocent and naive young Gryffindor that stood before them. Dumbledore quickly broke the silence. "Now, now, Neville! Put that mandrake down. My, my, look at the time! Don't you have herbology now? I'm sure you'll find a nice, fresh and live mandrake there to snack on." Neville nodded enthusiastically and bounded down the hallway with much more flamboyantness then was necessary for a third year Gryffindor, as he gracefully.......tripped over his own two feet and flew majestically down the nearest staircase and onto a bewildered Draco Malfoy. "What the hell is wrong with you, you demented Pillsbury dough boy!?" Neville responded, "I fall down and go boom! Thank you for breaking my fall!" As Neville continued down the hallway, Draco screamed out in pain. "My hip! You broke my hip you fat tub of vegetable shortening!! Just wait 'till I get back from the infirmary, Longbottom!!!"
***meanwhile back at chez broom closet***
"I would really quite appreciate it if you kept your "extra-curricular activities" out of the curriculum", a calm yet quite disgusted Dumbledore stated to the two bewildered teachers. Snape quickly replied, "she was choking on a piece of meat and I........" "And whose meat were you choking on professor?" Dumbledore interjected in McGonagall's general direction. "I was not choking Sevvie, I mean Severus." She exchanged glances with Snape, then Dumbledore. "We were simply working on inter-house relations!" Dumbledore chuckled. "It would be greatly appreciated if you cut the relations to a less friendly level." Dumbledore exited the closet **yes folks, they were in the closet the WHOLE time** and shut the door behind him. Just as he did so, a cauldron fell upon Snape's head, knocking him out cold. In McGonagall's frantic attempt to extricate Snape from the closet, she flung open the door knocking into Malfoy's stretcher, which was in tow behind Madam Pomfrey, sending it careening down the hallway and down the flight of stairs he had just ascended, whilst screaming out "damn you all !!"
************************************************************************* TBC.......
A/N: This is my first fic, and I hope those of you who enjoy seeing Draco hurt will enjoy future chapters.
Next Chapter: ***mcgonagall takes herself outta four wheel drive and throws her mojo into neutral and gently applies the brakes, as her profession is at stake. And, not to forget my previous statement, Draco will be sent to the infirmary in a slapstick, comedic fashion!**
Grand Theft Popsicle