Disclaimer: Suits and all of its characters belong to Aaron Korsh and USA, not me!
Also, if some of the dialogue is familiar, that's because it has been borrowed from the episodes of Season One.
Sorry for any structure or grammatical errors.
Title is taken from Season One's Episode Two's title.
It's just five minutes past ten o'clock when Mike Ross glances down at the clock on his computer screen. Seriously, he internally mutters, just like clockwork. He glances up from the screen, where he's pretending to studiously rearrange his boss' schedule to provide optimum results but in actuality is furtively researching the new specifications for the tablet he's thinking about purchasing in compensation for dealing with all of this nonsense that occurs in his daily life. The current source of nonsense? Is trying to stealthily sneak past Mike's desk—as if—and reach his boss' office.
"Louis." Mike begins, with as much patience as one can with Louis Litt this early on a Monday morning. He watches, amused, as Louis cringes slightly before changing tracks from heading toward the office doors to Mike's desk.
"Michael. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Louis."
"That's great. Is Harvey in?"
He takes the opportunity to peer over Louis' shoulder to where Harvey is blatantly apparent through his glass office doors and working at his desk. "It's possible." He allows; Mike is a gracious soul like that.
"Uh-huh. Listen, Mich—"
"No."
"No!?" Louis splutters in outrage. "You don't even know what I was going to ask!"
"Louis." He reprimands. "Are you yelling at me? Becau—because if you are…" Mike starts, allowing his voice to go soft and shaky, throwing in a sniff for good measure. The result is almost comical in how fast it occurs: Louis' eyes go wide and he makes an aborted reach for Mike's arms in what Mike assumes is a gesture of comfort, while a look of absolute horror passes over his face.
"Of course not, Mike!" Louis squeaks out. "Forget I wanted anything! That I was even here!" The last two statements are whisper-shouted over a shoulder as Louis flees the scene of the crime, apparently coming to the conclusion that retreat is the best option here. Mike gives it a moment before he wipes an errant tear from his cheek and goes back to his computer screen.
'You are a nightmare,' Floats out of the intercom on his desk in a tinny voice. Pursing his lips, Mike glances up through his lashes to observe Harvey who is eyeballing him through the glass. Whatever, Mike knows the sound of proud in Harvey's voice-even through the intercom. He shrugs in response and goes to finalize the purchase in his Amazon cart. Seriously, compensation for dealing with all of the nonsense that is Louis Litt.
A little while later, Mike is just about to head out for a late lunch when Harvey storms from his office; Mike rolls his eyes internally-his boss can be so dramatic (never mind the incident with Louis earlier, that was a method of survival). "Mike! I need the—"
Mike cuts him off by offering up the requested item, which in this case is a folder, and shoving it into his face. He then celebrates an internal victory at rendering Harvey speechless—even if it is only for a mere moment. "Oh, also, I didn't have a chance to—"
This time, Mike doesn't bother to keep the eye roll internal and hands over a cup of coffee that's been sitting on his desk for the past three minutes, dropped off by an intern before Harvey flew from his office in his 'dramatic fit.' Ah, speechless again.
"Marry me?"
"Harvey, please. I took care of that, too. We've been married for the last five years."
"Excellent." Harvey smirks before walking off down the hall, leaving Mike behind with his own small grin. While a tiny part of Mike's heart stings in response to their banter, he's reached a point in his life where he's learned to live with the relationship he has with Harvey.
Once was he hopeful for more? Of course, who wouldn't be? However, by now he's been through a lot with Harvey—suffering through the early stages of their acquaintanceship and ultimately becoming the trusted friends they are today: there's no one who quite knows Harvey like Mike and certainly no one who knows Mike like Harvey. To be blunt, Mike pretty much runs Harvey's life at this point and there isn't a secret he doesn't know, but, it's no secret that Harvey and Mike aren't meant to be.
Jessica has ordered Harvey to find an associate to mentor now that he's a senior partner, meaning that it has really fallen to Mike to find Harvey an associate. So, several days later, Mike finds himself sitting at a make-shift desk positioned in the lobby outside of a meeting room at the Chilton Hotel, eyeing the room of law students who are sitting lined up in a row of chairs along the wall. He sighs, rubbing his temples, thinking about how long of an afternoon this is going to be.
Just then, Harvey opens the door and leads a law student out. "Great, thanks."
"Okay." The student replies, not looking very enthused; he shoots a glance at his competition before exiting the room. One down! Mike thinks, sorrowfully.
"Mike." Harvey calls quietly, motioning him over. "We're gonna need to streamline this. Give each guy or girl a hard time before you send them back. Give me a wink if they say something clever. Cool?"
"O…kay. What are you looking for?"
"Another me." Harvey replies, ignoring the look of exasperation on Mike's face before turning and re-entering the meeting-slash-interviewing room.
"Right." Mike mutters under his breath. "Like I'm going to put up with another you." He returns to his desk and pulls out his new tablet-Thanks, Harvey! and proceeds to waste the next ten minutes by having adorable plants crush equally adorable zombies. Finally, he leans over and glances at the name number two on his list before looking up at the corresponding applicant. "So...Chip."
'Chip' sits up, looking excited. "Right." Mike drawls. "What makes you think that I'm gonna let the whitest man that I have ever seen interview for our firm?"
"Um, because I have an appointment?"
Giving Chip one of his patented unimpressed looks, Mike casually reaches over to pluck up a pen and cross off Chip's name from his list. He then motions for him to go ahead and see Harvey just as Harvey opens the door to accept the next interviewee. He shakes his head in wide-eyed disappointment and mouths "No!" when Harvey looks at him for his opinion. Looking despondent, Harvey closes the door.
This continues on with the rest of the law students-
"Kid, what is wrong with you? You look like you're eleven-years-old!"
"I was late to puberty."
-until Mike finally happens until Rachel Zane. Rachel who has been watching the mockery Mike has been making out of these interviews with a barely contained laugh and he takes a moment to skim over her student file. While not exactly a Harvey clone, she's certainly in possession of enough of his characteristics to make him happy, but different enough to make Mike happy—if she can get through the interview, that is. So when Harvey looks at him this time, Mike gives him an exaggerated wink before turning back to Ms. Zane. "Mr. Specter will be right with you."
Well, Mike thinks to himself as he watches the door to the meeting room close, things are certainly going to get interesting around here.