Jacob and Bella were standing around in the woods and shit, when Jacob said "I love you so much. I don't have a shirt. Let's go out." then Bella said "Well... I like you, but I don't like you like you. I think we should be just freinds." (Bella only dates white guys because she's a racist bitch.) At that moment Jacob started crying menstrual blood because he's gaint vagina and sobbed "That's the worst thing you can ever say to a man, ever! Ghaa! Why do you hate me! I don't have a shrit!" and then he ran away like a butt hurt sissy faggot. Then Edward jump out from behind some bushes and said "Bella, I have to tell you my fucking secret." "Oh, I already know... you're a homo." said Bella "What? No bitch, I'm a vampire." said Edward as he walked into the sunlight and his skin begain to sparkle like some mother fucking glitter glue "See" he continued. Then Bella said "Vampires don't sparkle, they burn in the sun, you stupid dick. I don't think you're a vampire." then Edard said "No! I am a vampire, I'm the Day-walker." (More like Gay-walker lol) "I hate being a Vampire! I'm a monster! I have a tiny penis! I hate being young forever! I have so many graduation hats and I don't where to put them! So many hats, Bella! So many hats..." Then suddenly Blade jumped out from behind the bushes a chopped off Edwards fat head, spraying Bella with blood and AIDS and said "Their can only be one Day-walker!" Then Jacob jump out from behind the bushes and said "I don't have a shirt." then Bella said "Oh Jacob! I'm sorry I rejected you, now that Edward's dead we can be together forever." Then Jacob said "Meh... Now that I don't have to compete for you, I don't find you attractive any more. In fact you're really average looking and I'm a mother fucking werewolf. I can have super modles if I want them, because I a god damn werewolf bitch!" and then Bella died alone with a bunch of cats, Blade killed all the lame vampires in the world and Jacob didn't have a shirt bacause he's an Indian.