Chapter 1: The Wackos on The Roof
AN: From the Adventure Time Perspective, this obviously takes place right after 'Astral Plane'.
From the Doctor Who perspective, this takes place some time after 'The Seeds of Death'.
"If just being born is the greatest act of creation, then what are you supposed to do after that? Isn't everything that comes next sort of a... disappointment? Slowly entropying until we deflate into a pile of mush?"
"What's it worth if we all gonna get blowed up right now?"
This was the question Finn the human asked Grob Gob Glob Grod. The Martian deity was currently the only being who could see or hear Finn, on account of him traversing the astral plane at the moment. The astral plane was a concept Finn didn't quite understand in its entirety, but suffice it to say Glob's near omniscience allowed the two (or was it technically five?) of them to converse briefly. Glob had been attempting to ward off an incoming comet. From what Finn could gather as he'd arrived on Mars (after a night of floating through many a lonely life on Earth), the comet was something of a regularity, and though Mars had never been in its trajectory until just now, Earth was its constant target.
Convinced that both he and the Martians were doomed to a quick death, Finn had posed his question of life's worth to the all-knowing Glob. He never did get an answer, as Glob had flown himself (themselves?) into the direction of the comet and intercepted it. Finn watched on as the two bodies exploded on impact with each other, and the shockwave sent him flying back down to Earth.
Earth. Or, as Finn was more used to calling it, Ooo. He fell back into his own body, and awoke with a start. Sleeping next to him was his adoptive brother, Jake. Jake, Finn remembered, had actually been there with him the only other time he'd met Glob. Granted, Jake had been in the body of Martian native Magic-Man at the time, rather than his usual magical dog one. It was a long story.
"What is it, boi?" Asked Jake, awoken by Finn's shout.
"...Glob is dead." Was the boy's only response. He felt as though he should have explained more. Should have explained that for all he knew, Glob's sacrifice would only spare Mars and not them. But Jake wasn't the one who needed to know this. Not right now, anyway.
He had to tell PB.
But first;
"Hey, I think Bouncehouse Princess needs our help."
"Let's do it!"
"And now this thing is coming for us!" Finn exclaimed, done regaling his friend Princess Bubblegum with his knowledge of the comet.
Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum was not normally known as the type to panic, but as her chosen champion and his canine brother had arrived to tell her of an impending comet that would destroy all life on the planet, it became difficult to keep a veneer of level-headedness. Yet still she did. For their sakes, as much as her own.
"What're we gonna do, PB?" Finn asked, his voice raisin an octave as he grew steadily more fearful. "What if Glob, Gob, Grod, and Grob weren't enough to stop that thing? What if-"
"I DUNNO, Finn!" Bubblegum shouted, throwing up her hands "I dunno!"
"Ooh, ooh!" Jake said, wagging his tail, "I know! I could turn into like, I giant net, and bounce that sucks outta our atmosphere!"
"That comet was enough to kill the Leader of Mars, Jake. I don't think that's a good idea."
Jake merely grumbled in response, while Bubblegum sat at the nearby desk, leaning her elbows on it and trying to think of a possible out to the situation. She was widely regarded as the brightest mind in the Land of Ooo after all. If she couldn't think of a way out, no one could.
Suddenly, the room filled with the sound of cracking. Bubblegum looked up from her desk as dust fell upon it from an ever increasing break in the ceiling. The Princess backed away, as did Finn and Jake, before suddenly the ceiling caved in, leaving a large hole in the roof as a heavy object fell right where the Princess had been standing not a moment earlier.
Dust and debris flew everywhere, and Finn and Bubblegum had to shield their eyes before Jake morphed himself to cover the two of them. The three of them coughed and wheezed, before eventually the dust settled to reveal a large blue box before them. The box had a door, along with the words "Police Public Call Box" inscribed near the top. At the very top of the box was a flashing light that was just in the process of slowly dimming down.
"Oh no!" came a voice from the hole above them, drawing their gaze to what looked like a shabbily dressed middle aged man leaning over the brim of the hole. He wore a concerned face and a mop of jet black hair, and held a small device none of them could identify in his hand.
"Jamie! Zoe!" He cried. "Are you alright!?"
Suddenly, all attention was brought back to the big blue box as it's door was swung open and two young people came walking out. One was a tall young man with a very similar mop of black hair, a kilt, and a tight black shirt. The other was a shorter girl with short brown hair and an even tighter glittery catsuit. The girl closed the door, looking up at the man on the roof.
"Yes Doctor," she yelled up, "We're alright! Aren't we, Jamie?"
"Aye!" said the young man, his voice carrying a heavy Scottish accent. "What happened anyway?"
"I'm afraid I neglected to compensate for the TARDIS's weight." Said the older man, still visibly flustered. "I, uh, probably should have adjusted before stepping outside..."
"Well that sure was silly of you, Doctor." The girl named Zoe said crossing her arms, before the boy named Jamie tapped her shoulder.
"Uh, Zoe, I think we may have intruded on somethin'..."
Zoe turned to see Bubblegum, Finn and Jake staring wide eyed at them, an uncomfortable silence reigning momentarily, before a shout filled the room. The shout belonged to the Doctor, who had fallen into the room, flat on his back. He landed with a thud, but after being pulled up by his friends and dusting himself off seemed completely unscathed.
"Ah." He said, noticing his trio of onlookers. "Pardon us. I'm the Doctor, these are my friends, Jamie and Zoe. We're, uh, very sorry about the roof, there-"
"We!?" Zoe interrupted.
"Er, yes, well I'm sorry anyway." The Doctor amended indignantly. He quickly put a smile back on his face before extending a hand to Bubblegum, and then nervously retracting it when she refused to accept. He leaned back toward his friends and asked in a whisper "We didn't crush anyone on the way down, did we?"
"YEOWCH!" Jamie suddenly yelped, drawing Bubblegum's still struck gaze to him as he looked over his shoulder to find that Finn had just pinch his arm. Finn had a look in his eyes that was all too familiar to the pink monarch. It was a look his allegedly reserved for his deep, "soul-searchy" moments, and as she truly got a good look at her intruders, the reason behind the looking became obvious.
"Are you guys...human?" Finn asked quietly to the newcomers.
"Oh, aye!" Jamie said, "Well, Zoe and I are, anyway. The Doctor's a, er, Time Lord." He sounded unsure of the meaning behind that last term, but Finn clearly didn't care.
" ...Math." the boy whispered under his breath.
"What about it?" Jamie asked, now clearly more confused.
Bubblegum sighed to herself. She new all too well about her friends status as the last known human in Ooo, but her sympathy for him wouldn't stop her from acting on the potential threat these newcomers posed. Moving toward the far wall, she slammed her fist on the red button present there.
"GUARDS!" She shouted, and a moment later a group of Banana guards arrived on the scene, encircling The Doctor, Jamie and Zoe and lowered their spears at them.
"Take them to the interrogation room." Bubblegum said, as the three intruders clung onto each other like their lives depended on it.
Bubblegum paced in front of The Doctor, Jamie and Zoe, each of them handcuffed to the table in front of them. At her side was Jake, who without warning grew much larger, slamming his fists on the table as his face became red with anger.
"What were you three doing donking around on Princess Bubblegum's roof!" He shouted, the Doctor shrinking away as he came uncomfortably close to his face.
"Jake." Said Bubblegum calmly, patting the dog on the side, "I got this."
"Oh." Jake said, his face immediately returning to its normal orange as he shrunk down to average size. "I guess I'll just wait outside with Finn then."
The dog walked outside the room and right to the large window where he observed the interrogation with his brother.
"...Is that window supposed to be one-way?" The Doctor said, leaning over it look past Bubblegum. "Because we can still see them."
Finn and Jake ceased their cheery conversation as they noticed the eyes on them, and stopped to wave at them, all the while Bubblegum pinched the bridge of her nose. She then turned to her captives and, in much the same way Jake did, slammed her fists down on the table with a look of outrage.
"WHAT WERE YOU THREE DOING DONKING AROUND ON MY ROOF."
"I apologize for any damage we may have caused." The Doctor said, attempting to lean his elbows on the table but finding himself unable to thanks to the cuffs. "We're not from your world, you see. Or rather, we're not from your universe. Our traveling machine, the TARDIS, was brought here by a spatial disturbance of some sort, it took us between dimensions-"
"Hold your bongos." Bubblegum said suddenly, her face the picture of skepticism. "There's no way you guys are from another universe. Inter-dimensional travel takes mondo Glob-tier power, and even I haven't managed to achieve that level of technology."
"Oh, but it's the truth!" The Doctor said, placing the device from earlier on the table for Bubblegum to observe. "We were on your roof attempting to lock onto the spatial disturbance with that. It was the only point in sight that was high enough to suit."
"I've never seen anything like this." Bubblegum said as she looked the machine over. "Where did you get it?"
"I designed it." Said the Doctor and Zoe together, "The Doctor / Zoe helped." They both finished, turning to each other with a frown from him and a bright, slightly embarrassed smile from her.
"Aye, congratulations, you two," Jamie said dryly, "you're still smarter than me. But is no one going to go on about how odd this is? Lookit her, she's PINK!"
"Now there's no need to be insensitive Jamie." Zoe chastised. "I'm sure that's the natural pigment of her race. What race ARE you, if I may ask?"
"Her guards are BANANA'S for God's sake. Now I know not even you two think that's normal."
"Well it is certainly curious." The Doctor commented. "How exactly did you come across them?"
"I bio-engineered the Banana Guards myself actually." Bubblegum said.
"You made an entire functioning group of organisms by yourself?" The Doctor exclaimed, clearly impressed.
"Yyyyyep." Bubblegum said, smirking with pride. "Along with the rest of my kingdom's citizens."
"Aye, well I'm sure we would've known that but we haven't got much opportunity to look at them, being prisoners and all."
"So are all of your citizens banana's then?" Zoe asked earnestly, before Bubblegum could roll her eyes at Jamie's remark.
"What? No, they're- ...you guys really have no idea where you are do you?"
"No, that's what we've been trying to say!" The Doctor moaned. "We're not from this dimension! We were brought here by an anomaly of some kind, and we've been trying to better understand it so we can return home."
Bubblegum narrowed her eyes at the man, visibly think for a moment before giving a shrug and pulling out the key to their cuffs.
"Mkay." She said, returning their confused looks with a kind smile. "If going home is really all you guys want, I don't see why I can't help."
She opened the door and allowed them out. "Really, I was just looking for an excuse to use the interrogation room. Why don't you guys follow me back up to the terrace. I think I know just the spatial anomaly you're looking for."
With that, Bubblegum walked back down the hall, leading the others along with her. Unbeknownst to any of them, her smile had fallen the moment she turned her back.
"That seemed like quite the 180 she just pulled, didn't it?" Jamie whispered to the Doctor.
"Yes, Jamie, I think you're right. Perhaps she's just a very easily forgiving person."
"I dunno. I'm getting a mighty fishy vibe from her, along with this whole place. I've seen some weird stuff since we've met but this lady and her kingdom are already takin' the cake."
"Well Jamie,". The Doctor said, wringing his hands together, "this isn't our world. And if we ever hope to get BACK to our world...we're going to have to trust this Princess Bubblegum to let us."
AN: So if you'd believe it, I was like 90% done with this chapter before I accidentally deleted it and had to start all over again. I can't tell if is is better or worse than the first go round (it definitely feels like a more streamlined version of what I had) but either way I think this came out to be the funniest chapter of anything I've written yet.
I think the tone and feel of Adventure Time might make an interesting clash with the tropes of the Second Doctor era, especially in the dialogue; AT tends to be very brusque, slangy, to-the-point type stuff, while Two, Jamie and Zoe use more refined language but have a habit of talking over each other or finishing each other's points. It makes for two styles of speech that feel naturalistic in very different ways. til be interesting to see if I can keep that up for the whole story.
Anyway, review if you liked it, or review if you didn't, and if you'd like to see a similar crossover with a different Doctor and a different property, be sure to let me know.
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