Title: A Hundred Ed/Envy Sentences.
Pairing(s): Envy/Ed, Ed/Envy.
Beta: None, all mistakes my own.
Rating: G to R, light NC-17.
Genre: Just about all.
Warnings: Spoilers for anime, movie and maybe manga, mild to full AU, the usual warnings of the pairing.
Feedback: Very welcome, please!
Word Count: 5 035.
Summary: A hundred different moments, a hundred different stories, a hundred different lies.
Author's Notes: I
was supposed to work on my Armstrong/Mustang fic, but I got frustrated.
So I did this. I used the themes for my Sheik/Link claim at drabbles100, but it's not affiliated to any community. Made just for fun after a discussion about EdEnvy with hieronymousb.
I don't know, one day I might expand some of these, because they seem
interesting enough. Notes about the AU's at the bottom of the page.
Thanks to hieronymousb and harlettequeen for their help to choose the last five themes.
001. Beginnings
He's nothing special, of this, Envy is sure; there's nothing remarkable about that silly blond brat that thinks he can change the world, but at least he's going to be fun to play with… for a while.
002. Middles
Ed hates leaving things half done, he really does, but when Al calls his name, the large shadow appearing at the mouth of the alley, he can't do much but leave the Homunculus and run back to his brother's side; he does notice, however, the malicious glint in Envy's eyes as he scrambles away, and knows that the offence won't go unpunished.
003. Endings
It is going to end, Ed realizes, just not in the way he had wanted it to; when Envy coils in the room and the green scales glint weakly under the yellow light, he lets himself be dragged by a mountain of what if's, but then it's over and they're gone, in their own ways, and it doesn't matter anymore.
004. First
He's crying now, the stupid brat, crying like Envy had known he would, yet somehow it's not as satisfying as it should have; for all that Ed has lost, that which he did not wish to give, Envy too gave up a part of himself, but that's a secret he will not share with anyone, and the first time will probably be the last.
005. Last
I'm dying, Ed thinks, fuzzily, because the blood loss is taxing him heavily; perhaps that's why when the moment comes, it's not Alphonse who he turns to, I'm dying and he's the last thing I'll ever see.
006. Hours
There's no light where he is now, just that damnable clock, ticking and drilling between his temples – when he gets out of this, he's going to destroy all the clocks in the world – mocking him with the time he's wasting and which the immortal has to spare; and the certain knowledge that Envy is nowhere near done with him.
007. Days
The sun goes up, and he goes out again, searching for a way to get back home, where he belongs; the sun goes down, and he goes back again, hating the warmth he seeks, when the beast grins that horrible grin of his.
008. Weeks
Winry is very angry this time, angrier than he has ever seen her; the automail will be ready in a few days, but the wounds on his back and below will take weeks to heal and she knows, she doesn't ask, but she knows, who and why and when, so Ed bows his head and pretends to be ashamed.
009. Months
Ed has been discarded, cast aside as useless; when Envy needed him, he tended to him, but now that the Homunculus is fine again, he's gone and it's been months since Ed's last seen him – Ed wonders why he ever thought things would be different afterwards.
010. Years
When he was young – young, alive, hopeful, naïve – a year seemed like something grand, something he should be proud of surviving once more; now he's ancient, and in the dawn of another century, he watches the blond brat curiously, wondering if he was ever that stupid.
011. Red
Red water is pooling around him – red, red, red, red – and he can taste it against his dried lips, feel it force itself into his mouth with every thrust the blonde gives; red water is not blood, it doesn't taste like blood, but it's red and glorious and filling his mouth each time he's shoved against the dirty floor and when he comes, it's on red that he does.
012. Grey
The concrete is grey and dull below Envy, framing the broken Homunculus perfectly, and even as Ed raises his fist, he feels something soften the edge of his anger: something that might just give Envy another chance.
013. White
He doesn't know if weddings are still the big events they used to be – he's kept himself away from humans for so long, after all – but the way Dante prances around with that stupid dress, talking to herself about her greatness and her plans, it makes him wonder; yet when he finally manages to tune her out, an image of the brat in a white dress makes him break down laughing hysterically.
014. Black
He read once that black was not a color, but the absence of all color; looking at Envy, breathing harshly after climax, Ed thinks that perhaps this thing they have, whatever it is, is a bit like black: not emotion, but lack of.
015. Blue
He looks ridiculous wearing that stupid uniform, all too big and blue for him; Envy watches the brat prowl around, proud as a peacock with his stupid uniform, and vows to burn the goddamn thing as soon as he can.
016. Purple
Ed always looked at people in the eye, measuring them by their ability to hold his gaze; but when he met the haughty glare Envy gave him, it was him that was forced to look away, afraid of the thousand secrets he got a glimpse of and which he will never forget now.
017. Brown
Idly, Ed scraps the dried blood stains with a fingernail, wondering if his clothes are ruined forever now; considering Envy had pretty much ripped them to shreds – and he had let him do it, too – he's pretty sure they are.
018. Green
Jealousy is said to be a green eyed monster, but Ed knows it's not quite true; Envy's a smug son of a bitch with pretty green hair and an obnoxiously large grin that curves a too feminine mouth into something delectable… but no green eyes, at all.
019. Pink
When Ed blushed color spread over his skin, bright and glaring, denoting embarrassment, annoyance, anger or passion; after he saw it the first time, Envy found himself fascinated with the changes he could bring with just a word or his presence alone.
020. Colorless
He wonders, sometimes, long after the Homunculus is gone and he's all alone, he wonders if life was always like this, always dull and broken and so empty, he wonders if he had a purpose before, someone to go home to, someone who cared for more than entertainment; he wonders, but then forgets what he was wondering about, and the cycle starts again and again and again, colorless and bland, just as Envy likes it best.
021. Friends
"Friends?" Envy asked incredulously, "Whatever would I need friends for? You're my tool and I'm yours and that's the extent of this truce, get it straight, or you might get yourself killed."
022. Enemies
Envy balances on his heels, not caring in the slightless that just the sight of him has Ed's blood boiling – or maybe caring a bit too much, since he's staged the whole thing to get the brat in the right mood for a fight, after all, that's what enemies are for, right?
023. Lovers
Ed's too young to know for sure, there's no one there to tell him otherwise and he's got no time to figure it out on his own, so when Havoc repeats the question, he answers as truthfully as he can, and ignores the stares he gets for his efforts: "Yeah, I've got a lover, so what?"
024. Family
Maybe Dante was lying, she was always lying anyways, so maybe this was another sick lie and he can go back to living his strange life with Al and Mustang and the rest; it has to be a lie, because Ed couldn't stand the fact he lost not one, but two members of his family over his stupid quest.
025. Strangers
His eyes trail over everything in the room, the broken chair that's standing by defying a few laws of physics, the curtains that've got too many stains to count, the loose plank on the floor which caused the brat to trip and fall into bed the night before… until he settles on the mirror, strangely whole amidst the disaster that was left behind their battlefield; Envy wonders why he can't recognize either of the figures in bed, why he's suddenly a stranger to himself.
026. Teammates
They are alike in this, at least, they hate having teammates or sharing work; what they do, they do it by themselves, even this, because Envy's aware of Envy's needs and no one else's, and Ed tries to do the same, because they don't share, they don't give and they don't receive, they just take and hope status quo will never have to change.
027. Parents
Hohenheim is the last link in the chain that holds them together, pressing them close until they choke on the air the other breathes; Hohenheim and his stupid smile, Hohenheim and his back, as he walks away once more, Hohenheim and the word neither will use ever again: Father.
028. Children
He sits in the park, wearing a face he saw once and never forgot, watching human children playing and wasting time, being happy and naïve; he sits in the park, thinking a thousand things he'll never tell anyone, watching lives ready for the reaping, wondering if the blonde was ever a child, if he was ever a child.
029. Birth
Envy's inside him, forcing himself so close, Ed thinks he's trying to crawl into his skin and destroy him from the inside out; strangely enough, he can only think of the day Elysia was born, creating a discordant metaphor only he will ever understand.
030. Death
Such an exciting feeling, such an orgasmic rush of release, the sight of the blonde's features as they freeze, melt and give away to the nothingness of death – it's all Envy has ever needed, will ever need.
031. Sunrise
He never sleeps, ever, and it's perhaps due to the prolonged boredom that he lost his mind so long ago; four hundred years of awareness, of listening to everything no one ever bothers to hear – one hundred fifty thousand four hundred sixty nine sunrises he's seen, and now he starts noting the golden glow before dawn.
032. Sunset
This world is not his own, will never be his own, but there are things, silly things, that keep him going on, that save him from the endless abyss of insanity; here the sun goes up at dawn and sets at dusk, here there's sin just like there's back home – it's just a matter of finding the right one for things to make sense again.
033. Too Much
Ed has never been touched before, because no one has dared and he has never let anyone try, but when he feels Envy shift around him, twisting and reshaping to fit him better, when he sees the sin, his sin, coiling around him and letting pleasure slide between them, it's too much to not give in completely, entirely – Ed's never been touched before, but he knows when he's fucked things up.
034. Not Enough
He's taken the kid willingly and against his will, he's broken and unbroken him, he's lost and found him, and it's still not enough – he's killed the brat and brought him back to continue playing, and it's still not enough – maybe it'll never will.
035. Sixth Sense
He always knows where Envy is, he can no longer surprise him by appearing out of nowhere – Ed wonders if it's wise to taunt the Homunculus with his new skill, if it's healthy to find Envy's vexed face appealing.
036. Smell
He's got a strange smell around him, not bad, per se, but very distinctive; it's the smell of red water and wet soil, mixing into a unique perfume that never fails to rile him up.
037. Sound
The best part of fucking a human, Envy agrees, is the screams, another thing Homunculi haven't gotten right yet, the sounds of agony when they're abused; after all, humans do break in the end.
038. Touch
He hates the way the brat touches him, so lightly and tentatively, afraid he'll break or disappear or whatever nonsense humans think when they're touching each other and trying to fuck – Envy wants it rough, wants the same violence there's always been there, because he's afraid he'll forget what it was like, before.
039. Taste
It's the last thing he wants to do, the last thing before they gamble everything and lose, he wants to taste and be tasted, to want and be wanted in return, and it's so ironic when he goes to the one who'll take everything away in the end, that Ed feels like crying.
040. Sight
Golden hair spilled over a pillow, pale skin marred by the occasional bruise and a crust of dried blood; such a peaceful expression on his face, Envy almost feels sorry when he kills him – almost, but not quite.
041. Shapes
The lamp above them is old, spilling dirty yellow light that casts strange shadows in the wall, but Ed prefers to fix his eyes on those shadows, the shapes moving between the yellow light and the cracked wall, and he forgets what he's doing, whom he's doing or why.
042. Triangle
For him, time is not a line, it's not Past leaking into Present leaking into Future; no, for him it's Al blending into Ed blending into Envy, forming a strange triangle that has a few extra sides and too little space to become solid.
043. Square
The tiles are white and clean, smelling strongly of disinfectant, but it's their shape that annoys him the most – annoys him even more than being held captive by that slip of a brat that's so insignificant next to him – all squares, all so perfectly aligned and perfectly symmetrical… if Envy hadn't lost it so long ago, the white tiles would drive him insane.
044. Circle
The snake that eats itself, the sign of infinite, the alchemic value of the endless transmutation; the oroborus is that and more, always taunting Ed with what he's done, what he's yet to do, and with whom.
045. Moon
Ed thinks they're like the sea, the both of them, pulling and pushing, coming and going, always under the capricious spell of the moon – if only they could know who their moon is, perhaps it would not be so bad.
046. King
Father watches as the new Lust wanders about the underground city, interested in this new subject only because it's a threat less to worry about in the outside world – down here, he's King and he can afford to be generous, giving Envy someone new to play with.
047. Heart
Heart, heart, heart, the word seems to be the brat's favorite, since he always brings it up somehow, and then, after he leaves, Envy sits and wonders – what exactly is a heart, anyway?
048. Diamond
Fear races up his spine, crystallizing along the way as Envy's mouth quirks into a sneer; up and down, until lust sparkles like a diamond, distilled fright in its purest form.
049. Queen
She always knows what he does, everything; and those early mornings he sneaks back into the manor, tired and wanting sleep, she smiles widely, her lips telling him she's a queen that knows what goes on in her kingdom.
050. Joker
Ed doesn't quite remember how he got that card, except that it involved a late night poker game with Havoc and his first real experience with alcohol, and when he gives it to Envy, he knows it a sentimental, silly thing to do, but hopes his Joker will give the Homunculus a bit of the luck it always gave him.
051. Water
Envy's starting to doubt Ed's capabilities as a healer – all he does is boil unholy amounts of water and shove them into Envy's personal space without any apparent pattern or reason.
052. Fire
They call him 'Flame Alchemist', Envy recalls with amusement as the man threatens him, demanding Ed to be handed back immediately; the man plays with fire and tries to appear brave, but Envy's about to teach him how badly one can be burned.
053. Earth
When Envy gets lost in the distance, running at inhuman speed through the woods, it's the feeling of moist earth that reminds Ed he's still alive.
054. Air
Air, he needs air – he actually needs warmth, Alphonse and home – but at the moment, Ed is quite content with just a bit of air… now, if only he didn't need to take it from Envy's lungs, everything would be perfect.
055. Spirit
What's a Homunculus, really, but the embodiment of sin in the body of an unsuspecting victim? What's him, really, but Envy's Ed in his purest form, Lust?
056. Breakfast
Envy sleeps a lot now, understandable since his body tried to kill itself, so breakfast turns into Ed's favorite time of the day; he can eat next to the immobile body, chat with the walls as he waits for his 'guest' to wake up and generally have a bit of peace before their ritual struggle breaks out.
057. Lunch
Envy arches an eyebrow, watching Ed shove everything remotely edible into his mouth, and wonders if he should build a barricade to protect his own meal from attack… then figures he'll just break the blonde's hand if he dares to try and steal his lunch.
058. Dinner
Al's worried about him, Ed can tell from the way the armor rattles periodically, but there's not much he can do about it, the bruises will fade eventually and he'll be back to being himself as soon as he's eaten and gone to bed; a warm meal and a good night sleep, that's all he needs to erase the memories of Envy's hands on him.
059. Food
He remembers food, distantly, remembers different tastes and textures, melting and mixing on his tongue as he enjoyed a decent meal – he could eat now, of course, but it's silly and a weakness and Envy wouldn't ever allow him to be silly and weak again.
060. Drink
Envy's always licking his skin, flattering his tongue over the sweat and cleaning it with a swift stroke; Ed licks his palm, but doesn't find the taste so likeable he would spend hours drinking it like a thirsty dying man.
061. Winter
When the first snow arrives, Envy's walking around on his own, shadowing Ed and half jokingly threatening to kill him; when the first blizzard strikes, Ed is thrown back in bed, arching off roughly and tasting first hand how well Envy feels now.
062. Spring
They stand there, side by side, objectionable allies against a common foe; ahead of them, the hill overlooks the slumbering city, unaware of the breeze caressing Ed's face, uncaring of the sun warming up Envy's scales.
063. Summer
Envy watches him as he laughs shrilly, stretching his limbs under the glare of the sun; he doesn't know if it's Lust or Ed that's enjoying being away from Father and his phantom city, but Envy finds he doesn't quite care when he's kissed possessively and dragged towards a clearing in the forest just outside Rizembul – killing their target can wait a few hours.
064. Fall
His lips taste of something Ed can't quite name, something between death and rebirth, like the yellow of the trees around them, a promise of redemption not quite accepted, and Ed finds he likes it.
065. Passing
For some reason, Ed understands him a lot better now; maybe it's the knowledge that the other knows about their world and how things are supposed to be, or maybe it's the feeling of abandon that makes him turn his thoughts on the miserable Homunculus… or maybe it's just that they share the intimate understanding of what death entitles and the strange sensation of being over it now.
066. Rain
When Envy finds him, he's curling under the rain, rocking back and forth and trying to wash away the dirt that's under his skin – the Homunculus finds it hard to control the urge, to kill or to fuck him, and contents himself with a laugh at the brat's expense.
067. Snow
The cold is numbing his hands and perhaps this was a stupid idea in the first place, but it's too late to do anything about it, Al's already exploring the abandoned castle and Ed's memories are awake already – at least he knows that if he cries, Al's not going to ask.
068. Lightning
The storm makes Envy more fierce: it highlights the mix of curves and lines that shape him up, obscuring his face until only his smile is visible, white and wide and terrible; Ed has nightmares about that night, Envy encased in lightning, grinning and coming closer, closer, closer… wake up.
069. Thunder
His senses, dulled in their sharpness, flare up with the sound of thunder rattling the castle from the inside out; but it's when his tongue catches the distinctive scent of home that the reptile awakes fully… and all hell breaks loose when he goes searching for him.
070. Storm
Now the brat's sick himself, coughing and appearing just as miserable as Envy himself feels; he told him not to go out – or perhaps he told him to go out – but regardless, the brat should have known it was not wise to venture into a storm like that… he should have been able to read what Envy meant, anyway.
071. Broken
It's one of the worst ideas he's ever had, Ed will admit it easily, this madness of nursing the broken Homunculus back into health, but to his defense, he's never felt more human before.
072. Fixed
This is going to fix everything, this will make things right and everyone will be happy… except for dad, 'cause he'll be dead… or Envy, 'cause he'll die too… or me, 'cause I'll be all alone; this is going to fix everything for everyone but us.
073. Light
Some days, when Envy instinctively knows he's slipping into madness more than usual, he turns on all the lamps in his little cage, blinding light that causes him to notice every detail, every minute detail of his surroundings; Envy's skin glows when the lights are on, and Ed feels another part of himself giving into the impulse with each rough touch.
074. Dark
Ed doesn't expect them to understand, so he doesn't tell them; after all, it's been proven again and again that the darkest side of obsession is frowned upon in the military, and Envy is certainly the darkest of the darkest among them.
075. Shattered
Envy let out a deafening screech when Lust – no, Ed, only Ed would do something like that, only Ed would manage to mislead him like that – took the stone within him and crushed it with the unnatural strength of a Homunculus; as he felt himself fall apart, Envy realized something else had shattered in that instant.
076. Rebirth
He died, but not, and as he opens his eyes, adjusting to the glaring light around him, the first thing that comes into focus is the unnaturally wide grin in Envy's face – for some reason, he finds it attractive instead of repulsive, but soon he's distracted by something else, and he doesn't bother to wander about it anymore.
077. Paralysis
"Because I want you too," and the words hold him back, freezing his features and his mind and all he can do is hear his heart beat wildly, ignoring his battered mind as he gives in.
078. Disease
Envy has never taken care of someone sick before, it's just not something he thought he would ever do, but considering Ed is the one who's strong enough to be up and around and who knows just where they are, it's not like he's got much choice in the matter.
079. Agony
He remembers dying, remembers it with a strange clarity after all these years – centuries – and he remembers a lot of unpleasant situations afterwards; he remembers all those little deaths he's had, and none compare to the agony of having the brat at arm's length and have to restrain himself, because Dante ordered so.
080. Healing
It's overwhelming, this power over life and death that Envy has unconsciously given him, it's like being in the basement again, being eleven and attempting to bend the universe to his will again; maybe, Ed wonders wistfully, maybe Envy will not be the only one healed after this mess is sorted out.
081. Blind
Maybe the blonde is blind, maybe he just doesn't see the signs and he's walking unknowingly towards his dismissal; maybe it's Envy who's chooses not to see he's walking down the same road as well.
082. Deaf
Ed hates them, Mustang, Hawkeye, Fuery, Havoc, Breda, Al… he hates them, because they never look at the bruises and the marks, because they don't listen to all that goes unsaid, to that horrible laugh that keeps him up all night.
083. Lost
A snide part of his mind – which is really irritating the hell out of him – points out he shouldn't have run away, that he's not nearly strong enough yet, that he should have killed the brat before leaving… that if he had been stronger, he wouldn't be so lost now; Envy tells his own mind to shut the fuck up and continues running away from shadows only he understands.
084. Found
Ed doesn't know what's it or why he's so sure, but now that Al needs him the most, now it's when he feels he's found something invaluable in the familiar face of his worst enemy.
085. Missing
It's been less than an hour since he ran away, as he should have thought he would, but already, Ed feels his absence keenly, instead of the sharp relief he had expected.
086. Choices
"Your brother," Envy says calmly, far too calmly for someone who's making such a terrible threat, "Or you, it's all the same to me."
087. Life
Ed hates the way he has learnt this lesson, hates the hollow loss inside him, the loneliness pooling under his skin; but life goes on, and now he has Al again and all he has to do to move on, is to convince himself it was worth it.
088. He
Envy can't have Him, no matter what he does, and he can't have him, death and rotten as he'd like, not yet, anyway, so he contents himself with the screams and lets the runt live to see another day.
089. She
Winry was so pretty, Ed realized with a jolt, that he almost hated himself for making her cry again; she was pretty and perfect but not his, not like he is.
090. It
The lines swirled all over the armor, and Ed took a moment to follow each one carefully, memorizing the pattern because maybe then he would forget about the screams and the scent of fresh death all around Lior; when Envy and the others came for them – for it, always for it – he couldn't quite name the acrid taste under his tongue.
091. Birthday
What a silly thing to celebrate, the day one was born, but Edward takes inordinate pleasure in the greetings and compliments that come his way; Envy dryly promises to send greetings on his death-day, so as long as he'll keep quiet.
092. Christmas
He doesn't believe in god or any such nonsense, but Munich is bright with a cheer that's infectious, and Ed resents it when Alfons asks him what he wants for the holiday; it would take god himself to give him what he wants, as sinful as it is.
093. Thanksgiving
He's never going to say it and Ed has given up all hope to hear ever it so they go on, callous and silent, letting the unsaid words resonate between them: thank you.
094. Solstice
There's an Alchemist worth notice in this pitiful town and he really should be looking for him, instead, he's more entertained trying to spot Envy in the crowd of celebrating townsfolk, wondering if they have time to explore before abducting Father's newest pet project.
095. New Year
"Who would thought you would have made it through another year?" Envy asks with that grin of his, taunting Ed as he advances slowly, a panther upon its prey, "Who would have thought I wouldn't bore of you yet?"
096. Home
Home is not at a thing or a place or a person, Ed has tried each of them before and he knows, knows home is the scent of death and rot twirling around him long after his gone, home is another lie to feed his brother when he comes back late and bleeding, home is that sliver of time where he doesn't own himself, where Sin and Sinner mix and confuse with each other; home is the secret he'll keep, because the truth's too painful to keep close.
097. Sex
There's one thing that hurts Ed far more than pain, more than threats to his brother or taunts about his mother; Ed, Envy has come to realize, cannot stand pleasure, simply because he doesn't think he deserves it – torturing him became a great enjoyment ever since he understood that, because bring Ed pleasure is far more easily than bringing him pain, and sex had never blurred the two so much before.
098. Mirror
It's polished glass with a touch of silver in the back, not overly decorative and certainly not so expensive as to cause an uproar, but Ed feels a deep satisfaction when the mirror flies in a thousand little pieces and he swears when a thousand Envies grin at him, amused at his paranoia.
099. Safety
Wrath came by the other day, to report with Father and found time to 'play' with him; Ed thinks he might have broke him, because he never felt safer in his life, than the moment Envy stormed into the room, irritated beyond words.
100. Sin
It's as tangible as Envy's hair in his hands, as Envy's skin against his own, the silence and the wasteland that orchestrate his downfall, everything he promised himself not to be and which hid under his own smile; he's more of a sin than Envy will ever be.
Notes about the drabbles.
001 – 005, 007 – 008, 010 – 011, 013 – 019, 022 – 024, 026 – 033, 036 – 037, 039, 044 – 045, 049, 058, 060, 062, 065, 067, 069, 072, 074, 077 – 078, 081, 084, 087 – 092, 096, 098, 100.
Following anime & movie canon as closely as possible, just snippets of off-screen moments.
006, 020, 034, 046, 048, 052, 055, 059, 063, 066, 068, 073, 075 – 076, 082, 086, 094 – 095, 097, 099.
My Lust!Ed universe, a spin off from the manga universe in which Ed is captured as Envy's plaything and eventually turned into Lust shortly after Mustang murders the original one.
009, 012, 021, 025, 035, 038, 040 – 043, 047, 050 – 051, 053 – 054, 056 – 057, 061, 064, 070 – 071, 079 – 080, 083, 085, 093.
My Kindness AU, disregarding movie canon, and in which Envy somehow survived the other world and returned in all his palm tree glory roughly at the same time as Ed, who finds Envy weakened and nearly dead, so he nurses him back to 'health'.