A/ I had this idea in my head for a while. I wanted to express how Jax and Tara naming there son Thomas was a reminder for the Brother Jax lost. And how Tara would have gone by asking him and Gemma if they thought it was suitable.

Author – Soa-Samcro
Type – OneShot
Pointofview – Jax
Rate - M(due to Language)
Song's – king's of Leon – closer
Lil Wayne – how to love

One Shot

Thomas Be Thy Name

Jax's POV

Sitting in the waiting area I felt my hands become sweaty, I had missed my visit last week. Tara's scan had been booked for the same day, and she'd asked my mum to go with her. I was glad she had someone there but still I was anxiety to see her , her bump got bigger every visit, and each time the guilt ate away at me more.

I scratched the blue beanie covering my hair as I rested my elbows on the table, smiling to my brother's as we scattered around the waiting area.

We was all on our on wing after I was stabbed up by the Russian son of a bitch last month, apparently the governor decided it was best case for protection.

For them

Not us

Since apparently were know for our retaliation. No sweat though one of the niner's owed us a favourer and shanked the fucker in the showers last week , Leroy's boy was already serving a forty year stretch so when Leroy had asked he'd happily agreed knowing he wasn't getting out of the place either way.

Russian one was laying on a cold slab in the morgue some were , there was shit going on, on the outside with them as well , but Chib's and Opie was handling that , are allies' wasn't far away of needed.

I smirked as I leaned back watching the red button on the wall flashing letting us know our visitor's had arrived.

I looked and smiled as I seen Opie walk in and nodding his head to me smirking as he made his way over to Bobby.

chib's strolled in next making his way to Clay I knew he had the low down for him and I rolled my eyes seeing Clay practically rubbing his hands together at hearing something club related from the outside world. Out of us all the old fuck was taking being in here harder than anyone.

We'd served seven months of our fourteen, if we kept the good behaviour up we could be out in three, my boy was due in one so either way I was going to miss his birth but the thought of escaping here three months earlier had me gritting my teeth every time someone so much as looked at me wrong.

I sighed seeing the empty Table Juice usual sat at he was still in the hospital, luckily his injuries had been superficial but they wanted to keep him there while he healed. He wanted to get out because the hand cuffs were giving his wrist a rash.

I knew the feeling well.

I seen Happy practically jump out his seat as his ole lady walked in smiling I shook my head, fucker was a sick bitch but he was a different man to his family.

A few of the prospect's walked in , sitting at Tig's and the other's table's.

Finally I smiled as Tara walked in , she had a glow around her as her hand held the button coat covered bump, my mum walked behind her smiling to Clay blowing him a kiss to which he blew back.

She was scheduled to visit him next week.

My eyes locked with Tara's as I stood up ignoring the guard stepping forward, I waited until she was a foot away from me and pulled her into a hug. "Fuck I've missed you" I mumbled to her , smiling as I felt her hands wrap around me as tight as she could with a bump between us.

"Mum" I smiled over Tara's shoulder as I kissed her forehead before grabbing her hand walking her to the table, she sat down as I leaned over kissing my mum on the cheek.

"Abel's at school, I was going to bring him, but I thought next time would be easier. He has insisted you ring thought" she laughed shaking her head I raised my eyebrow to her but my mum filled the blanks "He stands by the phone screaming Daddy when it rings, cute as hell baby and nine out of ten its actual you calling"

I nodded looking down, feeling the guilt fill me up, fuck I hated being away from them all. Thomas would only be a few months old when I got out so he wouldn't know but Abel.

Abel knew, we had told him I had done some things and had to go away for a while he accepted it, I called most nights or when ever I could. He visited once a month depending on school, each time he brought me a picture he had drew me , my cell was beginning to look like a fucking shrine, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I felt Tara grab my chin making me look up "He just knows his daddy is on the end of the phone" I smiled nodding to her as she leaned forward and kissed me softly, I returned it but pulled away before my body could react to her sighing as my hand moved to her stomach.

"And how's our other little man doing" I asked smiling ,

"Ohm" Tara said jumping "rub" she said picking my hand up and placing it under her left breast "kid likes when you rub near my ribs I think it's his foot or something" she said chuckling "and" she carried on looking at me expectedly.

"Now" she grinned as I suddenly felt something push against my hand.

"holy shit" I smiled looking up into Tara's eyes "little man has a swift kick" I laughed pulling away , and leaning in kissing her , not able to remove the smile from my face.

"That shit's amazing" I laughed pulling away smiling as I seen her eyes practically sparkle , I knew the tears gathering at the bottom of them was happy ones.

"Gemma" I herd Tara call out as I smiled turning to face my mum who handed a picture to me , at first I looked confused till I pulled it closer , seeing a full grown baby on the white and black scan picture.

"My boy" I smiled letting my thumb run over the face on the scan.

"Have you thought about names yet" I asked her feeling really fucking out of the loop , but knowing it was the little shit I did that made her smile.

"I actual I have" she looked up a smile on her face as she looked from me to my mum. "but I well I wanted to ask you both together" she said causing me to frown , Tara had stated through out her whole pregnancy she wanted to do everything on her own , meaning with out Gemma butting in her shit. Mum understood and was there if and when Tara needed her , but it still shocked the shit out of me she wanted her approval.

Tara's hand came up cupping my cheek as she bit her lip , I seen her other hand moving across the table grasping my mothers "what's wrong I asked bringing my hand up and clasping it around the one cupping me , I pulled it to my lap as I looked to my mum and back to Tara."

"Nothing" she sighed "it's just, I know how hard this is for you, being in here and everything and I know you try to hide it well , but baby its fine I understand" she smiled leaning forward kissing me.

She turned to my mum and shook her head "I'm sorry" she smirked causing me to laugh as the women shared a look "I feel like I've pushed you away , and I never meant to I just , I wanted to prove I could do this on my own. When Wendy handed her right to me for Abel , I was …. God there's no words to describe the feeling" she said looking down.

"But" I asked frowning

"but" she sighed looking up meeting my eyes "I love him like my own I really do, and he calls me mum I know but I hate how she handed him over so easy ill never argue the case because he's our son now , he's my family" she said with so much conviction before her eyes moved back to mums "But all I could think was how she handed him over willingly like she couldn't cope , and I wanted …." She shook her head looking back to mu mum "I needed to prove to myself , to everyone I wasn't weak , I could never ever give my boys up" her hands squeezed mine as she spoke the words so full of authority I doubted anyone would question her.

I seen my mum frown before she stood walking over hugging Tara "baby no one doubts you can , and I get it , I really do I'm over bearing at times" my mum chuckled causing us all to laugh "but know this. I'm so proud of you" I seen Tara looks down

"hey" my mum said properly more harshly than I fucking liked but it made Tara look up "don't do that , do look down as if you don't believe that shit, you did amazing you really did and yeah I've bitched but baby I get it , your strong , stronger than what any of us give you credit for , and I know we haven't always got on so well but you're the daughter I never had Tara and I'm not just saying this because your my son's old lady but I trust you with my boys more than I did there own fucking mother , you stepped up , you did shit with out of us asking you to" she smiled , I felt proud of my mum since I always knew Tara was like her daughter the only reason mum felt so ill towards her was because of how I had acted , that was my shit not Tara's.

"Thank you" Tara sobbed into my mothers shoulder , causing me to look around seeing everyone eyeing the two sobbing women I was sat with.

"Err" I asked confused but not wanting to break up there bonding moment , since Chib's had informed me when visiting the pair of them had , had quite a few arguments and falls out. "I don't want to sound like a fucking dense shit here" I chuckled knowing I most likely would.

"But baby what does this have to do with the little mans name" I asked seriously fucking lost as to have all the pieces fitted in the jigsaw.

Her brown eyes sparkled as she looked up to me, as my mum walked back around the table to back to her seat , Tara hand still clutching mine as she

"You sure" I asked , feeling myself get slightly chocked up. I inhaled trying to stop myself from acting like a fucking pussy in front of my mum and old lady.

"Yeah I mean if it's ok with you both" she asked looking from me to my mum.

I finally looked up realising mum hadn't spoke for a while. "mum" I asked seeing her looking down , she finally looked up and I seen two tears roll down her cheek as she was up again and pulling us both into a hug as she sobbed , I seen Tara's worried face as she looked over Gemma's head , as we both hugged her back.

Once she was calm , I looked over at Clay shaking my head to show she was ok , he nodded but his eyes looked as if he was seconds away for checking for himself. Mum pulled away from us wiping her eyes as she pulled Tara up with her "I cant" she stopped shaking her head like she couldn't form the words she wanted.

"I'm sorry if it will be too hard. I just fuck I don't know , I remember Thomas and I remember how close you was" she said looking to me "I just wanted his memory to live on , and well I thought it would be a great way to tell Abel about his uncle and shit" she shrugged as if it wasn't as important as is was, I knew she'd put a lot of thought into it.

I looked to my mum and nodded to her seeing her smile as she walked around back to her seat , the guard eyeing her properly thinking she was a fucking nutter, I shrugged in his direction.

"I'm sorry, I'm stupid" she said shaking her head sighing.

"We could , look at some names next week" she mumbled not letting us get a fucking word in

"TARA" I smiled grabbing her chin making her look at me.

I smiled. Seeing her smile back nodding "Thomas sounds like an amazing name baby" I grinned seeing my mum put her hand over mine and Tara on the table.

"Thank you" she whispered, looking from me to Tara "thank you both" she smiled nodding.

I grinned pulling my old lady into a hug holding my mothers hand across the table, counting down the hours till I could leave with them.

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