This has nothing to do with my earlier Brawl fan fics. This is a random story that doesn't have 5 prequels, which is a good thing in my eyes. Anyway, all you have to note is every Brawler and Assist Trophy guy has a stone that can teleport themselves to where the heck they want to go. So you want to go to Hyrule? Bang, there you are. Earth? No prob. Planet 0012? Heck, yeah, if you want to die.
Oh, yeah, one more thing…some Smash characters along with a few Assist Trophy peoples are not in this. Because if they were, they'd be dead by now. Sorry. I have an overload of characters already and I don't really like those guys. Sorry. I actually have an OC in here named Sar'John. He's like Pit, only from Earth and wears jeans and a T-shirt.
RATED T FOR: Mild language, slight peril, rude humor, and just weirdness.
So yeah, let the randomness, adventure, and peril begin!
Everyone in Hyrule knew there was no such thing as a 'quiet day'.
Because every day something really random, really life threatening, and really creepy usually happened. Like a shadowy world called 'Twilight' would invade and strange creepy things come out of portals and try to kill everyone.
Luckily that crisis was long over and Link was enjoying the closest thing to a 'quiet day' without it being a quiet day. He was fishing for piranha, because a whole school of them invaded the spring nearby somehow and he along with a couple of other villagers were in charge of fishing them out.
So far they reasoned they got about half of them.
"YEE HAW! I got another!" Cried the hippie villager guy as he flung a piranha out of the water, over the houses and over the trees. Everyone that was fishing sort of tracked the flying fishes' progress, but it soon went out of sight.
"Dang, you're good." Link said.
That was when a scream sounded from where the fish had flown and a skinny guy ran into the village, trying to pull the piranha off of his head. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"
Link took out his Hero's Bow, took brief aim(To the horror of the onlookers) and shot. The piranha fell off of the guy's head and died, leaving the guy looking extremely scared that Link was going to shoot him too. He ran off screaming again.
"Wow." Someone muttered to the fish flinger. "Watch where you fling things next time, ok?"
The hippie guy grumbled something about ADHD and went back to fishing.
That was mainly how the day progressed. After the minor accident, nothing else really happened... unless you count the bird that landed in the spring and got torn to shreds from the piranha. While the fish were enjoying their feast, Mayer Bo took a large net and threw it over the demons in the water. That took care of the probablem, and everyone went back to doing whatever they were doing before the invasive species invaded, which would be swimming.
SAME TIME, SOMEWHERE ELSE….
It was nearly winter, and the last few leaves were falling off the trees. Sar'John was reclining in the topmost branches of one of the tall oaks, watching the last few leaves drift down to the ground every few seconds. It was hard to believe that winter was already approaching.
"Hey, Birdboy!"
Sar'John looked down to see the most unlikely of visitors…to Earth, at any rate.
"Wolf?" Sar'John drifted down to the ground. "What are you doing here?"
"Sightseeing. We heard that Earth is pretty awesome in the fall." Falco appeared from behind a tree where he was gathering up brightly colored leaves. "I have to agree with them."
"You should have been here about two weeks ago when the leaves were still on the trees." Sar'John said.
"Whoa, so they don't change color after they fall?" Fox asked in awe. "Amazing!"
Sar'John thought for a second and then said, "I think I know where we could still find some intact trees."
After wondering through the woods for a while, they stumbled upon the Tree of Gold, practically.
Wolf actually fell to his knees and gasped, "Wow…."
"That is pretty darn impressive." Falco agreed. "It looks like it really is made of gold."
"I know, right?" Sar'John said, beaming.
"Aaagh, I hate this teleporting stuff…"
Everyone spun around to see Snake standing in a huge pile of leaves, the green teleportation stone in his hand. "Whoa, did I not get invited to a party?" He asked, looking up at the odd group.
"No, we were just looking at the colors of fall." Fox said. "So why are you here?"
"I just barely escaped alive from a moron's 'secret base'." Snake hissed.
"Oh." Falco said. "Well…anyway…can the trees here turn blue or purple?"
Snake sighed and decided to join the little sightseeing group as they made their way around the forest to the trees that still had a lot of leaves on them, 'Ooooh' ing and 'Aaaah' ing the entire way.
SAME TIME, SOMEWHERE ELSE…
Trevor the Pokémon Trainer and a Pikachu and Lucario were walking through Viridian forest, looking extremely lost.
"Pika, pika pi." Pikachu growled, stating that Trevor is a moron and shouldn't be asking Team Rocket members for directions through the biggest forest in the history of ever.
"I said sorry!" Trevor yelled.
They wondered for a little more.
"This sucks." Lucario mumbled.
We'll get back to them later…
SAME TIME, SOMEWHERE ELSE…
Once again, Shadow was not having a good day. This time it was because someone stole his car. Why he had a car in the first place, I don't know. Also maybe because Sonic found the coffee…and sugar…and doughnuts…and pie…and caffeinated Dr. Pepper.
"I CAN FLYYYYY!" Sonic announced really loudly before grabbing his teleportation stone from the ground and shouting, "CEDAR POINT!"
Somehow the stone knew what planet Cedar Point was on and he vanished.
Shadow facepalmed and swore.
We will also be getting back to them later…
Oookaaaayyy…SAME TIME, SOMEWHERE ELSE…
Mario and Luigi were separated and lost. Luigi was a heck of a lot better off than Mario was at the moment, because he had weapons.
It was called….wait for it….a VACUUM and a FLASHLIGHT! (Dramatic music plays)
Anyway, Luigi was making his way through a dark, creepy, and rather old mansion, looking for his bro and trying to avoid ghosts.
But it didn't help that a few ghosts were reciting old and creepy poems at him. It also didn't help that most of those poems were from Edgar Allen Poe, who was a master at creepy and unsettling.
" 'Once upon a midnight dreary; while I ponder, weak and weary…'"
"AAGAH!" Luigi spun around, turned on the vacuum, and sucked a ghost up. The other ghosts in the room went pale and vanished once they knew the power of the Poltergeist3000.
Luigi suddenly couldn't get the Ray Parker Jr. song, Ghostbusters, out of his head.
"Who ya gonna call…LUIGI!" Luigi cheered, doing a side to side sweep of the room to catch any ghosts that may be hiding.
After ridding the room of ghosts, turning on the lights, and looking for money, he decided that sooner or later he'd have to explore the rest of the mansion.
He decided sooner was better than later.
With that, he opened the door with one shaking arm….
"AAARRGRHHAAA!"
Luigi leapt backwards, landed on a book, and fell on his back, passed out.
Mario was left standing at the door, looking slightly guilty. He had a green teleportation stone in his hand.
"Oh, darn." Mario muttered. "I didn't mean to scare him…"
Luigi said something that sounded like, "Tell Peach I love her." And then started snoring.
Mario rolled his eyes, grabbed his brother's hand and shouted at his teleportation stone, "SKYWORLD!"
SAME TIME, SOMEWHERE ELSE….
Trevor, Pikachu and Lucario were still lost. Nothing had changed from 22 paragraphs earlier.
"When…I mean if… we get out of this forest I'm gonna die." Lucario growled.
Trevor cast his eyes to the Heavens and muttered something not very nice.
Pikachu sighed and climbed up on Trevor's shoulder, trying to look for anything that could lead them out of the forest. He thought he saw something, but he'd have to get to higher ground…
"Aaagh! Pikachu! Get your butt out of my face!" Trevor yelled.
Pikachu hopped down to the ground and pointed in front of them. "Pika! Pika!"
"Is that the way out?" Trevor looked ready to throw a party. "Awesome!"
"WHEEEEEEEE!"
Everyone spun around just in time as Sonic came crashing into Trevor, knocking him off his feet…and out of his shoes. Trevor flew into a tree and lay there, stunned.
"Hi, guys! Hi, guys! Remember me? I just found candy! Cedar Point is crap compared to King's Island!" Sonic said really fast.
"Um….ok…" Lucario muttered, taking a few steps back. "Lay off the caffeine and sugar, please!"
"Why? I need it! Did you see how fast I went? That was amazing! Pie is amazing! The other day I met this weird lady that said she was an astronaut and stuff!"
Pikachu gave him a weird look that Sonic completely ignored. He stared at the teleportation stone for a few seconds. "My precious…" He hissed. "My precious…"
Trevor was now really disturbed and hurting badly. He grabbed his shoes and put them back on before making sure he didn't break any bones on impact with the tree.
"I KNOW WHERE TO FIND MORE SUGAR!" Sonic yelled. "THE STONE TOLD ME AND IT'S AT…HYRULE!"
Then he was gone.
"Does anyone want to explain what just happened?" Trevor asked slowly, like even he didn't want to know.
"No." Lucario said.
There was the sound of a stick snapping behind them and they turned around to see Shadow there, looking like he had just run sixteen miles nonstop. "Did he go this way?" He demanded.
"Um…yeah." Trevor said, now officially freaked out.
"Which way?"
"Well, he went to Hyrule."
"HYRULE!" Shadow half yelled, half commanded at the stone. "When I find him again, I'm gonna..." He got cut off as he teleported, sparing the Pokémon group from the evil plans.
"Now that was very not weird." Lucario said sarcastically.
"Yeeeaaaah…um…Let's never speak of this incident again." Trevor suggested.
Within the next fifteen minuets they found their way out of the forest.
SAME TIME, SOMEWHERE ELSE…
Meta Knight and Kirby were busy racing, as usual. But unusually, Meta Knight was winning…even while Kirby was on the Hydra.
"Oh yeah, I'm winning this! You're about to owe me twenty bucks!" Meta Knight yelled as the finish line came within sight.
There was a slight flash of green light off to the right of the racetrack and a streak of blue. The next thing Meta Knight knew was he was about 3 inches deep in a wall and his wings hurt like heck.
"Hi, hi, hi, hi!"
Kirby ran the Hydra into the wall and jumped off as Sonic zoomed by again, yelling random things the entire way.
"Uh…" Meta Knight muttered. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing! I just are five pounds of sugar and caffeine! It was great! Have you ever petted a zebra?" Sonic asked.
"Um…"
"I want to go skydiving! Yeah! Skydiving would be great! I would love it, because you jump from the sky!" Sonic danced in a circle. "Also you could go through a cloud!"
"Yeah…you know what? I-"
"BLACK AND YELLOW! BLACK AND YELLOW! BLACK AND YELLOW!"
"…"
"Did you know that if you hold your breath for a long time you can float?"
"…I'm just gonna walk away slowly now…"
"SING US A SONG, YOU'RE THE PIANO MAN! SING US A SONG TONIIIGHT!"
Meta Knight sort of cowered behind Kirby. "If he makes any move towards us, you have to eat him."
Kirby looked extremely worried and a little scared.
Meta Knight started rummaging through his pockets looking for his teleportation stone. The sooner they got out of there, the better.
"Ok, got it." He announced. "We go to…Hyrule."
And they were gone.
SAME TIME, SOMEWHERE ELSE…
In Skyworld, Pit was busy shooting things at little targets. He never missed once.
"Wow, impressive."
Pit spun around to see Mario, who was dragging Luigi behind him. "I wouldn't want to face you in battle."
"I guess I've gotten better…" Pit shrugged. "Anyway, why is he passed out?"
"I scared him." Mario sighed. "It's sort of a long story."
"Ah."
They sat there for a few seconds.
"So…how's Skyworld been?" Mario asked.
"Sort of boring. I mean, no one's decided to invade or anything." Pit said. "I use all my free time training for battles that could be years away."
Luigi muttered something about being a raccoon.
"Actually, I think all our worlds are in danger again." Pit said, looking sort of worried.
"What? Why?"
"Trevor showed up about ten minuets ago and warned me that Sonic went on a sugar rush."
Mario paled. "That is bad…"
"Yeah. And after he left Shadow came and told me to kill on sight."
"We better keep him away from Ganondorf, then." Mario muttered. "Cuz he'll take those words to heart."
"Should we go find the others?" Pit asked, nudging Luigi with his foot.
"Probably. HEY LUIGI! WAKE UP!" Mario yelled.
After a brief bout of slapping and yelling, they teleported out for Jhoto.
SAME TIME, SOMEWHERE ELSE…AGAIN…
Zelda sometimes hated the fact that she was a princess. Because people always thought that princesses were whiny and wimpy and self-centered. So maybe that was why so many people were struck speechless when she joined Link to fight off Ganondorf that one time. Because of that, they never underestimated her ever again.
But right now there wasn't really anything to do in the entire place called Hyrule but sit in a throne and look bored and read The Hunger Games.
Well, that was how it was before Sonic showed up on a sugar rush. Now the entire castle was in lockdown while guards and Zelda chased him down.
"I LOVE KITTENS!" Sonic yelled, rocketing down the hall and ripping up the carpet. "THEY'RE FLUFFY!"
"SONIC! COME BACK HERE AND TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU'RE JUST PLAIN STUPID!" Zelda screamed, grabbing a spear from a guard and running as fast as she could in a dress down the hallway. She made a mental note to ditch the dress and get something like Link wears.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LAAAA!"
Zelda stopped running and glanced around the room she had just entered into. It was big, circular, and had lots of places to hide. She made another mental note to sue whoever designed the castle. "Hey, Sonic, I know where to find sugar."
"OOOH, YOU DO?" Sonic's voice echoed from somewhere to her right.
"Yep. Just come here and stand still a second while I get it."
Sonic was suddenly next to her. Once he saw what she was holding and what she planned to do, he managed to gasp and then faint.
"Note to self: I love spears." Zelda said slightly evilly.
That was about when she noticed that her teleportation stone was glowing in her pocket. She glanced at it and then turned it over to see the following written in golden ink:
Hello again, Zelda.
This is Palutena, and I was hoping you along with others bearing a stone could come and meet me in Skyworld as soon as possible. I have a mission for you.
Zelda watched in awe as the golden writing on the stone vanished and it stopped glowing. She put the stone back in her pocket and worked on dragging Sonic down three flights of stairs and down five very long hallways and out the door, where she threw him in a bush.
"There." She said. "Housework's done for today."
That was about when Link came running up to her and said, "hey, my stone glowed! Did yours? Palutena wants to meet us in Skyworld!"
"Yeah, I saw." Zelda said.
"Cool! Oh…and why is there a shoe in the bush?" Link asked.
"Because Sonic's attached to it and I threw him and his shoes out here because he went on a sugar rush in my castle." Zelda said plainly.
"Ooooh, that's gonna be a huge bill once it's all repaired." Link snickered.
"Yeah, I might just have to raise all taxes on Heroes."
"WHAT? NO FAIR! REVOLT! REVOLT!" Link yelled.
"I'm kidding! All he really did was tear up a carpet."
"Oh."
"So are you ready to go to Skyworld?"
"Oh, heck yes!"
So Link teleported out but Zelda was too nice to leave Sonic upside down in a bush so she took him too.
MEANWHILE…
"COOL! My stone just glowed!" Sar'John announced loudly. "It said to go to Skyworld!"
"Mine did too!" Fox said. "I think we should go now, then."
"Well, duh." Snake said. "SKYWORLD!"
They were greeted by the others, which were Link, Meta Knight, Sonic, Pit, Tingle, Kat, Ana, Kirby, Mario, Lyn, Goroh, Saki, Jill, Pikachu, Lucario, Captain Falcon, Zelda, Ganondorf, Marth, Shadow, Walluigi, Samus, Lucas, Ike, Trevor, Ness, Lakitu, Knuckle Joe, Dr. Wright, Little Mac, Jeff, Wario, and King Dedede.
Dang, that's a lot of people.
"So are we all here?" Pit asked excitedly. "Why did you call us all here, Palutena?"
An angel girl with green hair appeared before everyone. She smiled warmly at everyone. "Hello everyone, I'm Palutena, in case you didn't know. The reason I called you all here today is because something or someone is threatening the borders of the world."
A murmur went through the group.
"There is a place that doesn't exist on any planet you know." Palutena continued. "This place lets you use your telekinesis and teleportation stones or anything doing with Psychic power. Someone has been doing something with the borders of this world and manipulating them to benefit other planets while others are deprived of power."
"So you want us to go to the planet and blow them up?" Snake asked hopefully.
"Wait, I'm getting to that part." Palutena said. "I need you all to go to the planet and stop whoever is doing this. I have no idea what kind of power or ship they may have, but whoever it is…watch out. Don't underestimate them."
"So we get to blow them up?" Ness asked excitedly.
Palutena sighed. "Yes, you get to blow them up."
"THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"
Everyone rolled their eyes. Except Sonic, because he was still passed out.
"But there's one thing about this planet I have to warn you about." Palutena said. "It's mostly water. There's only a small island in the center and it's inhabited by fierce beasts that will not hesitate to tear you apart. As far as I know, there is nothing dangerous in the water besides Man of War jellyfish."
"Wow, I don't think I want to go to this planet now." Meta Knight muttered.
"Well, we have to, so there." Lucas said. "And besides, I want to see jellyfish!"
"You won't up close." Fox said.
"Well, in order for you to go to this world, I have made you a ship." Palutena said. "It's not as big as I originally want it, because I ran out of income." She frowned. "But it'll do. It'll run off the stone's power, so you've got a virtually unlimited power source."
"Wow, that's awesome!" Knuckle Joe said.
"Well, if you're ready, you can start on your journey. The ship has an automatic pilot and a manual, but if I were you I'd keep it on autopilot." Palutena said.
"Ok, can we see it now?" Sar'John was literally jumping up and down because he was so excited.
Palutena snapped her fingers and they were suddenly standing in some sort of docking station. In front of them was the biggest ship anyone had ever seen.
"It's the 1701 USS Enterprise!" Samus said.
"Um, no, it's called the Halberd." Palutena said. "And technically it was suppost to be for Meta Knight's birthday, so happy early birthday."
"…Wow." Meta Knight managed to say. Kirby looked jealous because all Palutena got for his birthday was a spoon.
"Can we go in it?" Falco asked.
"It's you guys' ship."
So everyone went to the bridge of the huge star curser/Star Wars thing.
"I am acting officer!" Pit nominated himself captain.
"Um, no." Meta Knight said. "You can be second in command."
"Ok. Who's smart? They can be science officer!" Pit glanced around.
"Shadow's smart!" Sar'John said. "He can be science officer!"
"I didn't volunteer for this…" Shadow growled, but no one paid him any attention. They were too busy figuring out who should be navigator.
So this is how it all ended up as:
Captain: Meta Knight
Second in Command: Pit
Science Officer/third in command: Shadow
Navigator: Fox
Weapons Control: Captain Falcon (But because Meta Knight was now Captain Meta Knight, they just called Captain Falcon, Falcon)
Head of Security: Link
Engineer: Falco
Communications Officer: Lucario
Doctor(s): Zelda and Samus
Cook: Kirby
The guy who does the things everyone else doesn't want to do: Mario
Everyone else was just there.
"Is it really a good idea to let Link stay on the bridge?" Luigi asked nervously.
"Probably not, but if it does pose a probablem, then we'll throw him in the brig because I'm the captain and I can do anything." Meta Knight said.
"Um…ok…"
"So are you ready to depart?" Palutena asked.
"Yeah!" Everyone said.
So everyone went to their stations. Falcon started pressing buttons and a computerized voice said, "MISSILE LAUNCHED."
"AAAAAAGH!" Falcon pushed a lot more buttons and the voice said, "SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED."
"AAAAAAGH!" Everyone screamed and pushed more buttons.
The computerized voice said, "PLEASE DO NOT PUSH THAT BUTTON AGAIN."
But Sonic, who just woke up at that second, pushed it anyway.
Skyworld was obliterated.
I'm kidding!
Mario pushed another random button and the computer voice said, "EVERYTHING CANCELED."
"We live!" Everyone cheered.
Palutena looked really worried that she set the fate of the universe in these guys' hands. "And that's why there's an autopilot."
"Also when there's an autopilot you can sit in your chairs and act important when really you're not and the ship's driving itself!" Lucas piped up.
"You just took all the meaning out of my life!" Fox wailed.
"…Sorry..."
So about 10 minuets later, they were out of the docking station and going to warp speed/hyperspace/whatever you want to call it.
Also Captain Falcon was relieved of duty and Ganondorf took his place.