BLACK SHEEP
By Lux's Sister
PROLOUGE
Steela Gerrera prays the prayer of those who rarely call upon God.
Oh God! Oh God, somebody help me!
Steela prides herself on being able to keep her cool, but she can feel her composure evaporating away like a puddle on a summer afternoon. She really, really doesn't want to think about the distance between her feet and solid ground.
There's a sliding sound above her, and Lux's face peers over the edge, reaching down.
"Hang on!" He implores.
She meets his eyes, and then something is wrapping around the small of her back, supporting her.
"I'll handle this" Ahsoka mutters, the sunlight forming a halo like Ahsoka is some real-life angel, lifting her friends to safety.
Steela is still in midair when Lux starts to slip.
Ahsoka unceremoniously drops her onto solid ground next to King Dendup and lifts Lux with the Force. "I've got you!" she calls out.
Lux's face relaxes and he allows himself to be picked up and brought to safety, hand outstretched.
So close, his and Ahsoka's hands are so close to touching.
And then the gunshot violates the surreal calm, followed closely by Lux's scream of terror.
….
Lux Bonteri has no family to hold him at the bottom of the cliff.
When Steela and Ahsoka arrive on site, a group of rebels has formed a ring around him, their heads bowed in respect. Saw glances up.
"Steela!" The relief is thick in his voice and she has only enough time to turn around before she's enfolded in her older brother's tight embrace.
"I thought you were finished for sure!" he sobs.
She opens her mouth to say something, but her voice is dry.
Three feet, three thousand miles next to her, the sound of keening erupts from Ahsoka's throat as she cradles Lux in her arms.
…..
Her mind is numb. Her body is cold. Her heart is unfeeling.
Steela Gerrera is a corpse.
Beside her, Ahsoka takes a sniffling breath.
If Steela is a corpse, Ahsoka is a shell. Ever since Lux's body was wrapped in a funeral shroud and carried out of the Highlands she hasn't spoken, she hasn't eaten, and she hasn't slept.
Anakin Skywalker had arrived earlier that morning at the safe house in Iziz, to come get her and bring her home. And in Steela's humble opinion, he failed rather epically.
"Ahsoka," Anakin had said to Ahsoka's mute form, sitting curled on the couch. "I'm sorry about your friend."
Ahsoka sniffed, and her master had taken a seat beside her.
"I understand, Snips," he said. "I've lost Qui-Gon and my mother. I…I understand what you're going through." Ahsoka buried her face in her knees and Anakin rubbed her back, thinking he had gotten the message across.
Steela thinks it's karking bull. Anakin may understand the loss of a family member and a close friend, but a loss of a love is an entirely different thing.
It's like your heart is being torn out.
When Anakin sat there soothing Ahsoka, she ducked into the refresher and locked the door behind her.
And there, where nobody else could see her, she pressed her hands to her belly as if her insides would come out.
The king reads Lux's eulogy, but Steela isn't listening. If she listens, she's going to cry. And she can't cry in front of the entire planet. Bad enough that the other rebels were around while Tandin stood watch making sure she ate breakfast, as if she was a child.
Something catches in her peripheral vision: a small figure wearing a black dress, nearly doubled over at the waist from crying.
The girl, clutching a folded Onderonian flag, looks up. And that's when Steela sees it.
Steela feels like screaming. She feels like throwing up. She feels like doing anything but standing here in silence at Lux's funeral.
A lump rises in her throat.
…
The lump was the result of two things.
One: The girl's identity.
Two: The fact Steela hadn't even known she existed.
Yesterday, Tandin dragged her and Saw to the reading of Lux's will. He said it was important, it was something Lux wanted to do.
She and Saw sat as King Dendup read the documents Lux had prepared just in case this thing, this awful thing happened. And while she didn't understand half the financial and political language Lux had declared as his last wishes, she did understand the very last page, written in Lux's perfect cursive like everything, even his grocery lists.
I entrust Saw and Steela Gerrera and General Tandin with the care and upbringing of my sister Sierra.
I've enclosed a holodisk. It includes her location and the access code to our apartment. I'd advise knocking first and then opening the door no matter what she says – I told her not to open it for anyone, and she's a good enough liar she can make you think she's a crazy cat lady.
Just open the door and try not to scare her too terribly. My father's wedding ring is on a cord around my neck. If you show her that, she'll believe you.
I hope you all can understand why I didn't say anything about her. Out of all people Saw probably understands the best; he is a big brother too. I'm sorry I kept this from you, but it was important.
I love you all, and I know that with you at the reins, Onderon will be free again.
…
"I'll take the child,"
Tandin had said to bluntly to King Dendup while Steela and Saw stared ahead, still processing the information.
Lux had family left? Why didn't he tell us? We could have arranged something to protect her, we could have just kept it between the three of us…
She rubbed her temples. Oh, who is she kidding? News that Lux had remaining family would have spread through camp like a plague.
"Steela and Saw are in no shape to take someone in," Tandin argues. "I had to stand in front of Steela and watch her to make sure she ate her breakfast this morning!"
Dendup glanced over to where Saw's brain was struggling to come out of the haze of the Bloody Marys he'd had for breakfast, and Steela's was so swirling with emotions it could hardly process a logical thought.
"John Bonteri used to work in my department. I know the family." Tandin reasoned. "If she wants to go somewhere else, then she's free to. But let her stay with me while Saw and Steela … process."
….
"Sierra Bonteri?"
Silence.
Tandin knocks again. "Sierra Bonteri, open up."
Someone shuffles toward the door.
"You must have the wrong house. There's nobody here with that name."
One would have to be deaf not to register that the person's voice is thick with tears.
"Miss Bonteri, it's about your brother."
"I said you have the wrong house. I don't have a b-brother."
That seals it.
Tandin (bless his soul) punches in the access code to open the door.
Steela stays outside per the king's orders. Lux's apartment is the last place she wants to be anyway.
…..
She's never going to be able to un-hear Ahsoka's and Sierra's wails.
Not as long as she lives.
….
It should have been me.
It should have been me.
Tears glide down Steela's face as that one thought washes over her soul.
It should have been me.
A/N: While not part of the While Others universe, this story does share two of its characters: Sierra and Hero (who will appear in a later chapter).
This story is the fruit of several discussions with 082 Martian Scout. I'd like to extend a big thank you to him, and I hope it lives up to our mutual expectations.
So, what were your first impression of the new alternate universe? Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the review box on the way out.
Until next time,
Lux's Sister