Oh my goodness. I have finally caught up to the world Naruto-wise (kind of)! This drabble-ish fic has been written in celebration of that! Actually no, I just like SasuNaru. Also, personally, I don't think Sasuke would really know anything about Chouji and Sakura's childhood, because he's a prick like that (I still love him!) but just for this story he does. Oh, the things you can do when you can twist these characters to your will!
Warning: Shonen-ai. Spoilers up to chapter 233 in the manga, and episode 134 in the anime.
This takes place at the end of Sasuke and Naruto's fight when Sasuke's all leaned over Naruto.
The Strong One
It's all clear to me now, in this moment. It's raining, like on that day. It rained the day the Uchiha clan was almost completely annihilated.
I've been so intent on my task, my dream, my goal of killing my brother, of ripping him to shreds, of destroying him like he destroyed me, that I've never really noticed how much he's embedded himself into my life.
Naruto.
Well, of course I've noticed him, the obvious way. It's hard to miss the loudmouth idiot with the power hidden deep—very deep—under his surface. We've fought together and risked our lives for each other. We've argued, and bickered, and teased, and now we've fought. It's hard to ignore your rival.
But until this very moment, I never realized how I've taken the idiot for granted.
He practically forced his way into my life, in a very reluctant sort of way, if that makes any kind of sense. But by now, his blue eyes, his whisker scars, his toothy grin, his loud antics are permanently etched into my brain.
I'm looking down at him—maybe for the last time, hopefully for the last time—and his eyes are closed. It saddens me, that if I never see him again, that I will never see those cerulean blue eyes glance at me ever again. Only in memory.
I've lived a lot of my life surrounded by memories. In fact, sometimes it feels that I live in those memories, instead of the present. And once I leave this place, the Valley of the End, Naruto will only exist for me in my memories.
I never want to see him again. Because if I do, I will end up killing him. That's another thing I've realized. I don't want to kill him. I don't care if I never achieve the power Itachi says I need to defeat him. I will gain the power some other way—any other way. But I will not kill Naruto.
I . . .
It's clear to me now, how weak I am. I look for revenge to hide from the fact that I am alone. I hide behind the idea of revenge because it is the easier path. It is easier, in a way, to look for revenge, for power, for a way to lower myself to Itachi's level, than to become a better person than Itachi, than to become a shinobi that fights for his people. In looking for revenge I can be selfish, and I can be childish. I won't need to ever face the fact that my mother and father died before they could see me grow. That my clan died before I could gain their respect.
Revenge is the easy path.
Even now that this is all clear to me, I know I cannot change the path I have begun to walk. I'm not one to leave a task unfinished.
And, in any case, the village would never forgive me. Their glances would be full of hate and bitterness and fear, and I don't know if I could stand that. I am weak, inside. I fear rejection, I fear being alone, and I am willing to do anything to avoid those feelings. Or to numb those feeling.
And Naruto's strong. I'm not stupid; I've seen the looks some people in our village give him, though I don't know what he's done to deserve those hate filled glances. Quite a lot of people hate him, and he's been alone nearly all his life. He didn't even have parents, like Chouji had before Shikamaru, or a good friend like Sakura found in Ino. And yet he would save them in a second, because he is strong.
Also because he is an idiot. But mostly because he's strong, and he doesn't hold grudges. You could call him naïve (I probably would), but you could also call him wise. It's definitely stretching the truth a little bit, but you can probably try and describe Naruto as wise.
What did—does?—Naruto see in me? Why would he waste so much strength, and time, and effort on me? Why would he risk his life to save me? I don't know the answers, and if finding out the answers means seeing Naruto again then I think I can deal with having them go unanswered.
I lean over and kiss Naruto's forehead lightly. That's probably the most affection thing anyone's ever done to him, I realize sadly. He deserves more. He deserves a mother, a father, and friends. People to acknowledge him. He won't know.
He'll never know. I can't tell him that I acknowledged him, that I admire him. I'll never be able to tell him that I . . .
The tears are running down my cheeks, but you can't differentiate them from the rain. It's not like Naruto isgoing to tell anyone. I lean over to kiss Naruto again, but this time on his wet lips. Just for a moment. Just enough to savor the last bit of Naruto.
Don't change. Don't you dare change.
Then I get up, wipe the rain from my eyes, and I walk away. I'm walking the weaker path towards ultimate power, towards revenge, towards the spilled blood of my brother, towards a future me that will resemble my brother. I'm leaving behind someone who was closer to me than my real brother ever was. The only person to ever hear me cry without me shedding a tear.
It's all clear to me now, through the rain and the tears. I may have won the fight, but Naruto turned out to be the strong one.
Blink. Where did all this come from?
Show me some love, anyway. xP
eveilae