Ignite Your Bones
The end of the First Order came more swiftly than even Supreme Leader Kylo Ren could have predicted. He didn't really know what to expect when he commanded his troops to land on the ancient, jungled planet that he knew housed the Rebellion, but he knew he didn't really care. He just knew she was there. After months of being tortuously tied to her through their shared bond, he was growing impatient. Months of trying to convince the other to turn, months of rejection, followed immediately by waves of regret and desperate attempts to hold on to each other. Months of anger and pent up frustration stemming from being separated by a war and galaxy. Months of a growing addiction to the peace and balance they only feel when they are joined through a bond they can't control. The need to see her, to feel her, not separated by lightyears, was getting unbearable.
So that's why he found himself walking alone into a crumbling, ancient Jedi temple deep into the jungle, while his rapidly diminishing troops were left to fend for themselves against the growing Rebellion with no instruction or support from their Supreme Leader. He knew she was in here. He could feel it. A part of him was surprised that she wasn't at the front lines, ready to fight next to her friends. But another part, probably the part of him that actually was her, knew she would be here waiting for him. She needed him just as much.
He walked into a large open room, covered with vines and ancient carvings in the stonework. There she was. Standing in the center of the room, with her lightsaber up, face defiant, looking ready to fight him. That did surprise him. He wasn't here to fight her. He thought she would have known that. He met her eyes, turning off his own lightsaber and dropping it to the floor.
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously at him, but she only raised her weapon higher. He walked toward her slowly, savoring the way the bond made him feel. It was so much more powerful now, standing next to her in person. It made all the moments they've shared over the past months feel dim, almost dreamlike, in comparison. He relished in the way a warmth covered him from head to toe, the way the ever–growing crack in his soul seemed to stitch back together when she looked at him. He watched her as he walked toward her, drinking in every detail he could find. Her back was straight, her form nearly perfect for the stance she chose. Her skin had a light sheen of sweat coating it, likely from the humidity of this planet. He knew she was used to much drier climates. Her eyes. Her eyes were fire. To someone less studied in Rey than himself, her eyes would have looked almost menacing, full of defiance and anger. But he knew better. He saw something laying under the surface. Something uncertain. Something that looked a lot like longing. He knew his eyes reflected the same thing. He wasn't trying to hide it.
'You know we can beat you. We can win this. Today. The Rebellion is strong now. And you came here, on our base. We're ready to end this." she said confidently, her chin jutting up to look at him.
"I know." He stepped closer.
"Your army is weak now. You've lost control over them. They aren't loyal to you."
"I know."
"Hux is gone."
"I know." He was the one who killed him after all.
He was right in front of her now. She seemed unnerved by his responses. Like she didn't know how to react to his too calm demeanor. Not when everything they've been fighting for was coming to an end as they speak. She tried one more time.
"This will end today," she said again, staring up at him. The warm blue light of the lightsaber he helped her fix weeks ago, bathed her in its light and he couldn't look away. "We have enough strength to take the Order down. We've grown. We have all new weapons and new fighters. We have everything we need to stop you right now and end it. You won't win, I know it. I can feel it."
"I know, Rey," he said, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "Put out your lightsaber. Please."
He knew she was thrown off by his soft plea. He could feel her emotions as if they were his own. He knew she was thinking about the last time she heard him say that word in that tone. Please. Something inside of her wavered, and she gave him one last cautious look, before turning her weapon off and tossing it to the stone beside her. His lips twitched in a small smile.
He moved in closer to her, but she stepped back, looking at him with wide eyes. It wasn't exactly fear in her eyes, but hesitation. It didn't stop him. He kept moving them back until her back hit a carved stone mantle sticking out of the wall. There was nowhere else to go.
She looked up at him again, this time eyes full of nerves and heat. He resisted the urge to count the freckles on her nose. He brought his hand up to his mouth, watching her eyes follow his every move. He bit the finger of his glove, pulling his hand out slowly, letting his mouth fall open and the leather drop to the floor. She watched it fall, then shot her eyes back up to his face, lingering on his lips, as he repeated the motions on his other hand. His hands reached slowly for the base of her neck, rising up to undo each of the small buns she wore, letting her hair flow around her beautiful face. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the soft curve of her jawline, biting back a groan as he saw her pulse twitch softly. His hand moved around to cup her chin and tilt her head back. She wasn't breathing, she couldn't do anything but feel.
He moved his eyes slowly back up her face and his own breath seemed caught in his throat. She was lovely. Her hair fluttered around them, tickling his hands, teasing them with its softness. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes closed, and her pink lips slightly parted, a light sheen coating them, making them look so enticing Ren thought he might just die. He watched her face as she waited, so patiently, for him to make a move. All the previous fire and determination she had was gone, replaced by desire and so much trust, it made him ache with longing. He waited for this, for her, for so long. He had every intention of savoring it, of making it last.
She, however, was growing impatient quickly. Her wide hazel eyes opened, as his hand curved around her jaw, taking its time exploring the edge of her face. She licked her lips, her tongue darting out in a flash of pink, and his hand tightened around her cheek.
"Ben," she nearly whimpered, and he was lost right there. His dark eyes shot to hers, and the crackle of energy around them grew even bigger. He leaned his head down, and she parted her lips even more in anticipation, but he ducked past them and grazed his teeth against her throat.
She let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding in a shaky moan. The sound filled his entire being with purpose. He knew he needed to hear it again. His lips closed over her pulse and his arms wrapped around her, lifting her up by her waist, setting her down on the mantle she had been pressed against. Her legs immediately wrapped themselves around his waist, as her arms flew around his neck, tangling her small hands in his hair. He trailed his kisses down her neck, to her collarbone, where he was met with the loose, flowing fabric of her tunic. He didn't hesitate to move his hand to the belt around her waist, pulling it loose, the fabric of her shirt falling open, exposing her skin to his hungry eyes. He stepped back from her, and she seemed surprised, arms falling from his shoulders, eyes cloudy and questioning. But he didn't say anything, just knelt on the stone in front of her, eyes burning into hers, silently asking permission.
He watched her eyes go wide, then flutter close. Watched her throat move elegantly as she swallowed, and nodded her head slightly. He grasped the edges of her tunic in both hands and pulled them down her shoulders, leaving her bare, except for her pants and the simple band across her chest. He reached behind her, unwrapping the band, exposing her to him, but his eyes never left her face. He watched as she tilted her head down to look at him, blush rising on her cheeks. He slowly moved his mouth to the center of her chest, right over her heart and opened his lips on her skin. The shudder he felt running through her, only encouraged him and he moved his head down lower and lower, kissing his way down to her stomach, tongue tasting her salty skin.
Her eyes shot open. Her breath was coming in short bursts now. He could feel her nerves as if they were his own, but he didn't stop moving down. His mouth reached the waistband of her pants, and he felt her tense. He lifted his face to look at her, and she couldn't hide the desire pooling in her eyes. She wanted him to do this, he knew it. But she was nervous. He knew she had never been so exposed to anyone before, and his own inexperience was clouding in on him like a fog. But he knew it didn't matter that neither of them had been this intimate before with anyone else. There wasn't anyone else in the whole universe but the two of them. They were connected in ways beyond any other two people in the galaxy. This was how it was supposed to be. Two halves of one whole. Different sides of the same coin. Desperate to fill the voids that had always been in themselves, the voids they now knew were shaped like the other. He let down his guard, knowing that she would be able to sense his emotions as if they belonged to her. Which he was fairly sure that they did. All of him belonged to her. He was shaking with the need to show her that.
She let his feelings wash over her, and she calmed down almost instantly. She felt the same overwhelming need to let him in, show him that she needed him just as much as he needed her. She reached out and caught his jaw with her hand, tracing her thumb down the scar she gave him so long ago. His eyes closed at her touch, more intimate than anything he had ever felt before. He leaned his face into her hand and turned his head to kiss her palm. Their gazes met, and she gave him a small smile and nod, before leaning back against the wall, closing her eyes again.
For a split second, he was confused, but then he looked down at her, sitting on what he now realized must have been an altar of sorts, her hair sticking to her face with sweat, head leaning against the wall, eyes closed, her breasts exposed, and her legs spread open to make room for his kneeling body. Beautiful didn't even begin to describe her. He remembered what he had been about to do, and desire ran through his veins, more than it ever had before, making his blood run hot. He lowered his face back to her stomach, pressed another kiss there, and moved his hands to her boots, slowly untying each one and slipping it off her feet. He knelt further down to press his lips to her ankles and moved his hands up her legs, slightly parting her thighs more and more. Her legs wrapped themselves over his shoulders, as his palms ran up her thighs, coming to a stop at the waistband of her pants.
He pressed another kiss to the hipbone he just exposed, nipping it slightly with his teeth, and squeezed the other with his hand and she knew he was asking her to lift her hips up, so he could slip her pants off. She pressed her arms down on the stone and lifted her hips almost too high, nearly knocking them into his face. She felt flustered at the thought and nearly apologized, but he must have sensed she was about to because he stilled her movements with his strong hand, and continued pulling her pants and underwear down the rest of the length of her legs. She was nervous and yet she wasn't. She had never been more exposed but never more desired. She knew that. She could feel it all over her, all over him. He let her clothes drop in a pool on the floor beneath her. She barely had time to get used to the feeling of being naked in front of him, when his head dropped again, and his teeth grazed her inner thigh.
She let out another shaky breath and slipped her hand into his soft waves, as he moved his mouth up and down her soft skin. She could feel his hair grazing her most intimate parts and her eyes fluttered open just as he moved his head up to take her in. He was so beautiful. Skin moist with sweat, eyes darker, yet warmer than she had ever seen them. His full lips wet and swollen from kissing his way across her body. She felt desire pool in the pit of her stomach and could barely keep her hips from twitching up to meet his face. A small part of her, one that was quickly disappearing, hoped that he didn't notice her increasing desperation.
He did, of course. The slight movement of her hips beneath his hands, sent him dangerously close to the edge of something he knew he'd never be able to turn away from. His gaze travelled from her face, over her body and right to the place he wanted to be the most, and he knew he never wanted anything more in his life. Her scent washed over him, intoxicating him, making him dizzy. He tightened his grip on her hips, and scooted her closer to the edge of the altar, closer to his mouth, ready to worship her. He lowered his face down to her, his nose bumping against the bundle of nerves as his lips grazed her, softly at first, then more firmly. The gasp she let out as her hand reached down and tangled in his hair was a sound he knew he would never forget for the rest of his life.
At that moment, he knew he didn't care that he would lose the war today. In fact, he hoped he would. She wouldn't come back with him if he won, and he knew he wasn't ever going to let her walk away from him again. Not after this. Not after tasting her, hearing the hitch in her voice as she moaned out his name, his real one, the one he only lets her use. Not after feeling her thighs clench around his cheeks, and the way her hands reached out and grasped his ears as he worked his lips and tongue over her faster. Not after learning how her hips ground against his mouth, bucking without restraint as he pressed a finger to her folds. Certainly not after raising his eyes to her face, lips still pressed tightly to her, watching as her face flushed like a desert rose and her eyes clamped shut and then opened suddenly, locking with his as she shuddered one final time and crumpled against the stone wall.
Let the past die. This was his future.
Ren watched her in awe as she slowly rode out the waves of pleasure. You're beautiful, he said to her through the bond. Her eyes, glassy and bright, looked up at him in a daze and she gave him a small, timid smile as she lightly ran her fingernails down his shoulders. He wanted to return it, he really did. But he was so overwhelmed with lust and greed, his self control wavering quickly that all he could do was pull himself up to his full height and crush his lips to hers.
They'd kissed before. Once, through their bond. He had woken up in the middle of the night to the feel of someone in his bed with him, only to look over and see her curled against his chest staring up at him, with her hand hovering over his cheek. They didn't say a word to each other, he just grasped her hand and laced his fingers through hers and she leaned up and caught his full lips between hers. It was sweet, almost innocent. Just as Ren was about to open his lips against hers to really taste her, the bond had broken, leaving them both with the most unbearable emptiness. After that, it was an unspoken understanding between them that they wouldn't try again. It was too close to the real thing. Such a bittersweet loss when it ended, that all it did was make the distance between them seem impossible to bridge.
This kiss was nothing like that first one. This was nowhere near innocent, and certainly not sweet. As soon as his lips landed on hers, she opened her mouth to him and gasped as she tasted herself. She couldn't help but swipe her tongue against his lips, resulting in a low growl that seemed to come from the darkest depths of his being. He grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back for better access. His tongue tangled with hers, their teeth clashing, lips bruising. This kiss was real.
The bond buzzed around them, blocking out everything from the entire galaxy but their own needs and pleasure bouncing back and forth between them over and over in an endless loop as they dominated each other in their kiss. His equal, he couldn't help but think. She matched every move he made. His hands were everywhere, grasping at her bare flesh anywhere he could reach. Hers threaded through his hair, nails digging into his scalp as she sucked his bottom lip between hers and lightly bit down. He grunted, tightening his hold on her waist, and she ran her tongue along his lip, soothing the mark she had just left. He broke away from the kiss, panting, disappointed that he was the first one who had to pull away to catch breath. She flashed him a small grin, as if she knew what he was thinking, that she had won that round.
But then he ducked his head once more and bit down on her left breast, tongue smoothing over the hardened nipple and her smile faded as he watched her eyes roll back into her head.
Now it was his turn to grin, pressing it against her chest and he reached for her other breast, covering it with his large, warm hand. This time Rey couldn't stop herself from moving her hips to meet him. His erection was digging into her lower stomach and she was aching to have it against the place she wanted it most. She lifted her hips again to meet his and nearly cried out as his clothed hardness pressed against her naked center. He felt her wetness soak through his heavy pants and the groan he let out vibrated her whole body. Her hands fumbled to his tunic as though she just realized he was still fully dressed.
She pushed against his shoulders and he stumbled back and stared at her with eyes so dark she thought she might drown in them. She brought her shaking hand up to the edge of his tunic and pushed it up his chest. He reached up to help her rid him of it and she dropped it to the floor. Her hand rose up and followed the line of the scar her lightsaber had made to the top of his chest. His hand reached out and wrapped around hers, steadying the shaking as she traced it. She moved her hands to his bare waist, reveling in the cool chill of his skin and she pulled him closer again. She leaned her head forward and her tongue darted out and followed the path her finger had just taken. This earned her the most exquisite gasp she had ever heard and she felt him jerk forward, brushing his clothed erection against the inside of her knee. He groaned again and grabbed her hips with one hand as his other wrapped gently around the back of her neck, holding her face to the scar. When she got to curl at the end, where it stopped just over his chest, she sucked on the skin and dragged her hands down his chest, nails grazing his nipples.
He let out a violent hiss and pushed her legs open to settle his lower half in between them. His self control was waning quickly, she could tell by the way he was thrusting against her center that the time for teasing was over. She reached her hand down between their bodies, grasping the button of his pants. His heavy-lidded eyes met hers as his own hand tangled with hers as they worked together to rid him of the last of his clothes. As soon as they fell to the floor, Kylo toed his boots off and stepped out of them, kicking them to the side. As he straightened up again, he couldn't resist looking at her face as she took in the first naked man she had ever seen.
He was almost embarrassed at himself for the small bubble of pride that rose up in him as he watched her eyes widen and cheeks turn an even darker pink. He could feel her awe following through the bond, and he hoped his own hubris wasn't as obvious. But then he watched her tongue dart out again and wet her lips and he was once again left realizing that he did not have an upper hand here. Nothing could have prepared him for the feel of her warm, tiny hand slide down his stomach and grasp him firmly in her fist. The groan he let out echoed loudly through the empty room and his hands dropped to the stone beside her hips as his head fell forward onto her bare shoulder, breath hot and wet against her neck. Nothing had ever felt so good in his life.
Rey didn't know what she was doing, but she knew from the sounds he was making and the emotions tumbling through the bond that it was more than adequate. She savored the velvety feel of his cock swelling in her hands and she ran them up and down his length, once, twice. On the third time, she moved her thumb over the tip, feeling a hot liquid pooling out and the urge to taste it rushed over her like a wave. But before she could, Kylo jerked forward into her hand with a jolt and let out a strangled curse into her ear. She loved the sound of his voice. She craved to know what other noises he would make, what other things she could make him say. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to spend the rest of her life finding out.
Rey grasped him even tighter with one hand and used the other to lift his face off her shoulder. She needed to look at him, watch him, the way he watched her when she came undone. His eyes were dark, hot pools of fire, boring into her and she didn't know if she wanted to drown or burn in them or both. His long hair was sticking to his face with sweat, messy from her own fingers. There was a crease between his brows as he tried desperately to control himself. His mouth. His mouth was her favorite thing. His full lips, parted and red, were still glistening with her own juices as it in quiet groans at her touch. She knew he was close to coming undone. The very thought thrilled her. Sent another jolt of heat straight to her core. Here he was, the most powerful man in the galaxy, the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Supposed to be her worst enemy, but really her sole equal. And he was falling apart at her hands. A swell of pride rose inside her and she savored everything about this moment, getting lost in the feel of him in her grip.
"Rey," he murmured, opening his eyes to meet hers. "You have to stop."
"But... why?" She asked, too innocently and he groaned. "I want to watch you..."
He let out another curse as her fingers tightened around his length and stroked with confidence now. "Not like this, I don't want..." he managed to get out. "I need you."
The way he said you melted her bones. It reminded her of the first time the Bond connected them. Just you. Rey understood, and let her hand fall away from him, but reached out to grip his face with both hands. His lips met hers in the most gentle, tender kiss and she couldn't help the tears that pooled in her eyes. She nodded, and he wrapped his arms around her, one around her back, the other grasping her ass and he lifted her up from the mantle and moved her to the ground. He used the Force to spread his heavy cloak on the rough stone floor and sent a wordless apology through their bond for the inadequacy of their location. She deserved a bed. She deserved so much more than a crumbling old Jedi temple covered in cobwebs and vines. He felt anger at himself rising up through his lungs for not giving her this moment in its perfection.
But she sensed his conflict, as she always did, and laid a hand over his cheek. She let him into her mind and he saw fragmented images of a makeshift bed of scraps of cloth in an AT-AT beaten down by the desert sun, a pile of rickety stones in a hut on an island, and a rust covered cot on a ship that he hated. She had never had a real bed, so why would it matter to her now?
The thought didn't do anything to soothe him as she intended. If anything he felt more angry at how difficult her life had been, how much she had gone without. She was everything to him, and if she were next to him, he would ensure that she would never want for anything again. He thought back to that day, in Snoke's chamber, when he held out his hand and offered her the galaxy. He knew why she couldn't take it, but it still ached him to the core that she didn't see how much more she deserved than the stupid Resistance had ever offered her.
Rey once again brought him back to reality, gripping his jaw with her hands. "It doesn't matter now," she whispered softly. "None of it does. Just this."
He swallowed roughly, and nodded. He slowly knelt them both down onto the floor and pressed her naked body down with his, kissing her deeply. The urgency that moved them before was gone, replaced with soft, slow movements. Brushes of warm hands against skin, lazy kisses trailing down necks and chests, breathy gasps and moans, as they took their time exploring each other as if they had all the time in the world. As if there wasn't the final battle of a decades long war raging on right outside.
Soon the soft touches and tender kisses turned harder, more frantic. With no clothes separating them, every move brought them closer and closer to the brink of something they knew they couldn't turn back from. Every bite, every brush of fingers, every thrust took on new life. The bond between them was positively buzzing with energy. It cast a glow over them, filling them almost to the cusp. The Force flowed freely between them, whispering promises of completion, of balance. It was overwhelming, to be this close to a wholeness neither of them thought possible. They were so close. Nearly complete.
Letting his lips fall from hers, Ben raised his head and locked eyes with Rey. His arms were shaking, holding himself over her, as he waited with bated breath for her answer to the question he didn't need words to ask. Rey met his gaze, her own eyes full of the fire they held when he first walked into the temple. This time, though, a softness lay just below the surface. A love and trust so sincere, his chest ached.
He wanted to tell her he loved her. He knew he did. But the words got stuck in his throat. He didn't know how to say them. Didn't know if he ever had before. But as he looked at her spread out underneath him all beauty and radiance and warmth, he knew he wanted, needed her to know. He let his mind brush softly against hers, offering everything he had left to give her through their bond. It was overwhelming for him to be this bare to someone. He watched her face as she took it all in, took his deepest emotions from him and pushed her own right back to him without hesitation. He wondered how this could be so easy for her. He knew these feelings were just as foreign to her as they were to him, but she wasn't afraid of them. It was like she thrived off them, craved them. He stared at her as tears filled her eyes, her body bathed in so much light and warmth that it should have hurt him to look at her. But all he felt was calm. Complete.
She ran her fingers down his shoulders and to his hands, reaching to clasp in fingers in hers. He lifted her right hand over her head and held it tight to the ground above them. His other hand curled around her hips as he positioned himself at her entrance. He leaned down one more time to kiss her lips and met her eyes as he pushed inside her.
Rey held her breath, eyes closing tightly as she waited for the pain she knew was supposed to come. Only it didn't. She felt him slowly fill her, but no pressure, no sting, no burn at all. She lifted her head, opening her eyes to look at him. She saw his face, hovering over hers, fixed with a familiar look of hardened concentration. She knew what he was doing. He was taking the pain away from her.
"Ben," She breathed. "Stop. I want to feel everything."
"No," his voice was a strangled rasp. "Not this." He's given her enough pain, he didn't want to be the cause of anymore.
"Ben," she said again, even softer this time. She ran a finger over his forehead, smoothing out the growing crease there. "I need you here with me. Please don't take this from me."
Her eyes searched his, watching him as his resolve crumbled. But then he conceded, lowering his face down to the crook of her neck as he let out the breath he had been holding into her skin. The feeling washed over her again, and although the initial jolt of pain had passed, Rey was left with a throbbing ache as he stretched inside her. She let out a tiny gasp, and Ben's eyes snapped back to hers instantly. He made a move to pull out, but she grasped his shoulders frantically, nails digging into his skin.
"No, stay," she pleaded. "It's okay."
He shook his head slightly, but didn't make another move. He leaned his face down to hers again, and kissed her, trying to distract her from the discomfort as she got used to the feel of him inside her. He was shaking above her, trying desperately not to move inside her. She felt indescribable. He couldn't believe how they fit so perfectly together. He didn't understand why he kept getting surprised over this. He had known for ages that they belonged together. The Force had connected them for a reason. It was something deeper, more ancient and powerful than either of them could understand, but they knew it was true. Being with her was as natural as breathing. And now, laying here, inside of her, he felt like he had finally come home.
She moved her hands up his shoulders, to his face and cupped his jaw. She moved her mouth to his forehead and, through the bond, whispered You can move. She felt his relief pour over them both as his shifted his hips back, pulling nearly all the way out slowly. He groaned deeply, gripping her hips so tight she knew there would be bruises. She moved her hands to his chest and pushed her own hips back in rhythm with his. The ache was nearly gone, leaving behind a warmth as he moved inside her. He thrust up again, and a moan escaped her as she met him again. This felt incredible. He filled her so completely that all she could do was concentrate on the sensations inside her. She didn't know anything could feel like this.
His movements were quickly growing erratic and she knew he was close to release. Her own need was building inside her, pooling in the pit of her stomach as she matched him thrust for thrust. His groans were loud in her ears, and she tightened her legs around his waist, bringing him in deeper than ever and he gave a rough twitch, grinding against her, desperate for release. The feeling of his pelvis tight against her center caused her to gasp in earnest and he reached down between them and moved his thumb over her firmly as he bent his head to her breast, tongue teasing her nipple. The sensations overwhelmed her completely, and with a moan of his name and an arch of her back, Rey came for the second time in Ben's arms. The waves of her orgasm washed over them both, leaving her with a sense of peace she had never before known, but leaving Ben closer to the edge than ever. His thrusts were harder now, more unstable. He was so close. She could barely move, but she leaned her head forward, resting on his shaking shoulder as she ran her tongue along his ear and whispered his name.
That did it. His deep gasp vibrated through the room, as he came inside her with a violent jolt, filling her with warmth. He groaned out her name and a string of curses and she moved her mouth to his, swallowing the sounds, kissing him as he finally came down. He collapsed on top of her, and she greedily wrapped her arms around him, never wanting to let go.
Afterwards, they lay naked, limbs tangled together, basking in the golden peace around them. This was true balance. This was what they had both spent their whole lives thinking didn't exist. Nothing else could ever make them as complete. Ben knew that, for him, it was this or nothing. He had no interest in a life without her. He knew he didn't deserve it, but he was too selfish to care. Either he would get this, all of it, with her, or he would go out there and turn himself over to the Resistance, knowing he would be tried and probably executed for his war crimes. He desperately wanted the former, but if she turned his offer down, he wouldn't hesitate to give himself up. A life without her was as much of a death sentence as the one surely waiting for him outside.
Ben tangled a hand in her hair, as she lay sprawled out on top of him. Her hand was drawing circles on his chest, and she drew her face up to meet his.
"Run away with me," he murmured, staring deep into her hazel eyes, waiting for them to fill with tears the way they did the last time he offered himself to her. He had all his arguments ready to convince her. The Resistance would win. The First Order was already crumbling. After today there would be nothing left but ash to build from. There were plenty of people left to step up and build a new Republic. She was a Jedi, not a politician. They could move somewhere remote, away from everything. He could teach her about the Force, and they could find a way together to fix all the mistakes that had plagued the galaxy for centuries. They could build a family. The kind neither of them ever had, but they both desperately craved. They could feel this peace forever. Emptiness would be a distant memory.
All of this was on the tip of his tongue, just waiting for her to look at him with her wide eyes and shake her head slowly, saying I can't leave them. Think of what you're asking me to do. But the words never came.
Rey met his gaze, steady and calm, reached out to his face, running her hand down his scar, and laid her lips on his forehead. She let out a shaky breath against his skin, as he waited, heart pounding, not breathing.
"Okay," she said. "Okay."
He smiled.