Standing in front of Mitsuru's room, Yukari lifted up her right hand, hesitating for a while before knocking softly on the door. So soft, that she wasn't sure Mitsuru would hear it. Gulping to rid the dryness in her throat, she tried knocking again. This time a bit louder.
She heard shifting voices from inside and then footsteps coming near to the door. Soon, the door opened, revealing the red-haired senpai, who had supported her even in her foolishness. Remembering those kindnesses, a warm feeling washed over her, making her a tad bit more nervous.
"Yukari?" the firm voice of Mitsuru drew her attention back to the task at hand. Yes, she owed her at least this much. Setting her nervousness aside, she straightened her back.
"Uh, senpai…are you busy right now?"
"I'm in the middle of packing my personal belongings. But, I don't mind. Can I help you with anything?"
"Um, well…it's not important…" Under those inquiring eyes, Yukari found her shoes suddenly became more interesting to gaze at.
Oh, geez! This won't help if I can't even look at her in the eyes.
She lifted her gaze again. "I-I just want to talk if you don't mind…"
Mitsuru offered her a smile. "Why don't you come in? My room is in a disorder. I hope you can tolerate it."
She stepped aside to let Yukari in and then closed the door behind her.
Mitsuru was exaggerating when she said disorder. Except some laid-out clothing on the queen-sized bed and an open luggage, the room was actually neat. Rather, it was mostly empty. The bookshelf on the wall, the desk and the small cabinet which usually filled with books, tea cups and other stuffs, were now void of anything.
"I'm sorry I can't offer you a cup of tea anymore since I've sent them home already. But if you care to wait, I can get you one from the kitchen."
"Oh, please don't be bothered. Really!" Yukari waved her hands frantically.
"Well, if you say so." Again, Mitsuru smiled apologetically, which Yukari had noted as something she often did recently. "Then take a seat."
Letting it slide, Yukari nodded at the offer and took a sit on the sofa. Mitsuru then sat on the other sofa opposite of her.
"W-wow…your room is empty now! It must have been a trouble to get all the things packed, hasn't it?" Yukari tried to start the conversation with a cheerful tone.
"Indeed. But the people from home have been a big help. I am really grateful to them." Mitsuru commented. "What about you? Have you finished your packing?"
"Y-yeah…I don't have many things. So it wasn't that much of trouble, I guess." Yukari remembered she had packed her things hastily just after the announcement that the dorm would be closed down. At that time she couldn't bear to stay in this place any longer. The place filled with memories of time spent together with SEES members. And memories of him.
A pang of sadness was still lurking somewhere in her heart. But the revelation of what had caused his death had brought a great relief to her wreck of emotion. Now she could say for sure she had let him go. His death wasn't something meaningless and without reason. He had sacrificed himself to protect this world from its own foolishness.
"I see. If you need any help, don't hesitate to ask me. I'll help you with everything I can."
Hearing those words from Mitsuru, gave Yukari encouragement. This person sitting in front of her had also earned a special place in her heart. She didn't know since when, but somewhere during the one year they had been fighting together, Mitsuru had become an important person. A senpai, a best friend and maybe… something more... which she couldn't quite name.
"You had already helped me, senpai. A lot." Yukari said solemnly. She shifted her gaze in embarrassment to the floor. "I was a wreck, wasn't I? I didn't know what I was actually trying to do…even dragging you along with me…"
"Yukari, you didn't drag me, as you may say it." Mitsuru's voice was calm. "It was my own decision to help you. Besides, I had my own objectives. So, please don't put it all on yourself."
'Don't put it all on yourself', she said…
Yukari felt it couldn't be more ironic than it was. The words she used to utter to the older girl were now being returned to her. It felt like their situation had been reversed. Before, she had been the one who used to say those words to Mitsuru. The red head had a habit to take everything upon herself, including taking all the blame if things went awry, even though she definitely didn't cause them.
Thinking about it, Mitsuru wasn't being fair. She totally let her bad habit take hold again. Trying to take the blame again this time, although it was clear that things became much more complicated that night because of Yukari's selfishness.
Geez…this person…
Yukari felt her nervousness gone and replaced by irritation, "Geez, senpai! This again?"
"Yukari?" Mitsuru seemed to sense Yukari's irritation, but look completely clueless about the cause.
"No, senpai! I was being unreasonable and childish. So, stop trying to cover me, okay?" She couldn't help but raised her voice on her senpai. "I know you must have done it against your better judgment. But you still stayed by my side. Selfish as I was…"
"No, I…" Mitsuru trailed off.
Seeing how Mitsuru couldn't refute her statement, now Yukari knew for sure.
How much would she let me get spoiled?
Yukari was irked by the fact, but it also made her feel warm inside. That this person in front of her would value her so much to set aside her own judgment for her sake; how important could she be for this person? The realization made Yukari's heart swelled.
But, crap! I ended up scolding her! That's not what I came for!
Yes. She hadn't said what she had wanted to say in the first place. She had to do this or she wouldn't feel at ease at all. Summoning her courage, Yukari raised her voice.
"I haven't said it properly to you, senpai…" She paused, trying to find the words to convey her feelings. But whatever she would say, Yukari felt words alone wouldn't be enough to tell her gratitude towards the older girl.
Lifting her gaze to meet Mitsuru's crimson orbs, Yukari felt herself being pulled into its depth, stirring a lot of emotions inside her. Her chest felt constricted and she didn't know she was holding her breath when Mitsuru raised her voice in worry.
"Yukari?"
"Ahahaha…sorry…" Yukari pushed the surge of emotions down and tried to laugh it off, "I kinda space out there for a while…"
There was a second of awkward silence before Yukari continued, "…I haven't thank you enough, senpai…" She paused, taking a deep breath to calm the rising emotions down, "…for staying by my side…"
No good, why did she have to be such an emotional person? Why couldn't she stay calm and collected like Mitsuru? It would totally be uncool if she broke down now. She had cried enough tonight. Her tears should have dried out already. Yet, her eyes stung. Her vision of the red hair in front of her blurred. And tears started to flow down her cheek.
"Yukari…!" She heard Mitsuru's voice, filled with surprised and worry.
The next thing she realized, Mitsuru was sitting beside her, one arm tentatively enveloping her shoulders. She could feel Mitsuru's warmth against her and how it made her feel so much at ease. Like a steadfast pillar in a raging storm, Yukari found herself an anchor to the jumbled emotions in her heart. How Yukari wanted to burry herself in the comforting embrace of the always so calmed girl.
But, she was supposed to tell her gratitude, not burdening the older girl with more of her emotional bursts. So she wiped her tears away and offered Mitsuru a smile, "I'm sorry. I don't know what comes over me."
Mitsuru offered her a handkerchief, "If it will make you feel better, you can just let it out, Yukari. I don't mind."
"Geez…it would only make me look totally lame, senpai!" Dabbing her eyes with the handkerchief, Yukari forced a laugh. "Besides, I'm not coming to you just to cry my eyes out. I'm here to thank you." She gave Mitsuru a faint smile, which earned her another warm smile from the red head.
Mitsuru pulled back her arm from Yukari's shoulders, putting a little space between them. Yukari noted how she already missed her senpai's warmth.
"You thank me enough already, Yukari. Besides, I only did what was natural after all you have done for me. I should be the one thanking you."
"What are you saying?" Turning to face Mitsuru, Yukari felt her temper rise again. Yukari was sure she hadn't done that much for the older girl. Yet, it seemed Mitsuru was keen to repay her back, tenfold or maybe hundredfold of whatever it was Yukari had done. "I haven't nearly done anything for you! And what's more, you make it sound like it was another of your duty to pay me back! What's with that?"
"No! I-" Mitsuru flinched, "That's not what I meant at all. I'm sorry I worded it badly…"
Yukari shrank. She didn't mean to sound so harsh. The words just flew out of her. "Sorry, that was mean..."
Mitsuru shook her head, "No, it's alright, Yukari. Sometimes, I just don't know how to do it right in the matter of hearts."
In the matter of hearts, she said…
Yukari knew that already. Behind that stoic exterior of her senpai lied an awkward young girl, often uncertain about what to do when it involved things that mattered most. The seemingly perfect girl wasn't perfect at all. She faltered and stumbled, just like any other girls her age. Yukari understood this, that's why she always got annoyed when Mitsuru tried to tough it out.
Silence filled the room as none of them knew what to say next.
"Yukari, I…" Mitsuru's voice broke the silence.
She was fidgeting, something Yukari rarely saw. "I don't want you to have the wrong idea. I did choose your side regardless my own judgment, but…"
Was that a blush Yukari saw on Mitsuru's cheek?
"…I need to let you know, I did it not out of obligation or anything close to it. I…" Mitsuru was avoiding Yukari's eyes as she continued, wringing her hands on her own lap. "…I did it because I want you to be happy."
"…huh?" Yukari wasn't sure of her own hearing.
"I thought, maybe if we could go back to the past…if we could redo things and save Minato… maybe… nothing would burden you and you could be happy…" Mitsuru stared at the floor, "It might be foolish, but if there was anything I could do at all to make you happy, I would do it without any hesitation."
Was she hearing things? Mitsuru said she would do anything for Yukari's happiness. Why would she go out of her way like that? Still, those words made Yukari feel warm inside. She wondered if she could get warmer than this.
"T-that is…how should I say it…" The red hue on Mitsuru's cheek grew brighter, her nervousness apparent, "…you are important to me, Yukari."
Those words sent jolt to Yukari's senses. Deep down she understood it already, but hearing it directly from the ice empress made her stomach flutter. She felt her own cheeks started to get warm.
"Oh, please, senpai! You make it sound like I'm your most important person or something. I know you must have other persons more important in your life. Like your family or maybe a lover…" She swayed her hands in a manner to ease the tension that was starting to build up between them.
But one look on Mitsuru gave her the answer to her doubt. Mitsuru's cheeks were now bright red, as red as her flaring hair.
"H-huh…?" Something clicked in Yukari's head.
And she was dead sure her head would explode anytime soon from the sudden rush of heat on her face.
A\N: A story I've started years ago, but ended up not finishing it. I lately saw some youtube videos of P3 Drama CD, which rekindled my interest of this pairing. One can argue about their relationship. But in my head, they are obviously attracted to each other. So yeah, they're my head-canon.