A/N: Hey guys! I finally decided to write a new story! I thought of this in gym class, so you know it'll be good. :D
I'm pretty sure this should be M, but maybe T? I dunno wat?
This story is set in the same universe as my other story, The Rescue, so that explains why Loki is in this one.
And yes, I did steal one of those fanfictions from a smosh video. Sue me. I also took part of Bruce's rant from Family Guy, it was a really funny episode and that scene was epic.
I don't own anything.
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Bruce Discovers Fanfiction
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Bruce was pissed off.
It was one of those days where he was just not in a good mood. All day, he felt like the littlest thing would set him off, and he did not want to do that after so long.
It was all because of work. He had to wake up early and work on some project in the lab with Tony. Of course, he usually enjoyed doing this, but all the little things Tony did were just pissing him off and not helping matters in their special science project.
"So you add this to this one." Tony remarked, pouring a glass of some strange chemical into a beaker of orange liquid. It fizzled for a second, and then exploded.
"Oops. Guess that was the wrong one." Tony said, as the rest of their project burst into flames.
"You know what?!" Bruce yelled, throwing down the glass of acid he was holding. Tony backed away.
"No! No! I was just kidding! Come on, take a joke!" Tony back away until he was against the wall.
"You know Tony, I came here because I was pissed today, but you REALLY AREN'T HELPING!" Bruce yelled as he walked away into the living room, where Steve, Thor, and Natasha were.
"AND YOU GUYS! You all think that you help me, when really, you are the cause of my rage!" He turned to Steve. "You, the leader. You were chosen to lead us, the Avengers, and you FAIL. EVERY. DAY. Why do you think we all crashed our airplane that once?! BECAUSE YOU LED US! S.H.E.I.L.D. SHOULD HAVE REALLY PICKED A LEADER WHO COULD ACTUALLY LEAD!"
Bruce threw a chair at the wall, and it broke into many pieces. He turned to Natasha.
"AND YOU! You're always trying to tell me 'Calm down Bruce. Calm down' but you NEVER. SUCEED. You think it's easy?! You think it's easy for me to control myself?! HOW DARE YOU?! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I'VE BEEN, WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH, WHAT I HAD TO DO TO GET FROM WHERE I WAS, TO WHERE I AM NOW!"
He threw a few more chairs at the wall and flipped a table. Grabbing the couch, he threw it out the window and turned to Thor.
"AND YOU! Don't even get me started!" He turned back to Tony. "You are the one! The constant cause of all my rage! YOU THINK YOU'RE HELPING, BUT YOU NEVER DO!"
Before storming out, Bruce grabbed a table and threw it at the wall, where it broke apart into many pieces. He slammed the door as hard as he could, causing several picture frames to fall off the walls.
"Where is he going?" Clint asked.
"Probably to S.H.E.I.L.D. to beat up the agents or something like that." Tony remarked.
And that's just what happened. Almost.
A few minutes after leaving Stark Towers, Bruce had arrived at the base, screaming at everyone as he stomped down the hallways. All the agents watched him with fear, wondering how he hadn't hulked out yet.
He arrived in another room, and promptly flipped a table. Throwing chairs, kicking the walls, and flipping tables, it was a wonder how Fury hadn't noticed this. However, one of the female agents, Carrie, did.
She grabbed him and pulled him into a room with white padded walls, much like that of an insane asylum.
"Why the hell did you shove me in here?!" Bruce yelled, sitting against the wall. He tried to look calm, but failed miserably, considering his eyes were glowing a bright green.
"You need to calm down. Seriously." Carrie insisted.
Bruce leaned against the corner wall, now observing the room he would stay in until he was calm. Beside the padded white walls, there was also a pile of books.
"What are these?" Bruce asked, looking over to the small pile of books. Picking one up, he observed the cover.
Iron Molester #1: The Quest For Butts
Bruce stared at the book in shock and embarrassment. On the cover was a very well drawn picture of Tony, only half naked. He had heard of these kinds of books. Mostly written by those crazy "fangirls", the books usually involved very erotic scenes with the Avengers.
"Um, that's just some fanfiction from the last guy that was in here." Carrie said, closing the door and leaving Bruce alone with the pile of books. The scientist tossed the book to the side. He was not interested in reading something that gross, no matter how well written it was.
Oh how he was wrong.
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Two hours later...
Carrie still hadn't come back. Bruce knew she wouldn't. He knew that she wanted him to stay in this room all day, or at least until he was calm, but he was still pretty pissed off.
And he didn't know what to do.
He had been just sitting with his back against the wall, lost in his own thoughts. He was thinking to himself about new science concepts, but he couldn't figure some of them out. He had nothing to do in here.
Unless...
Bruce looked to the side at the pile of dirty fanfiction. The Iron Molester book seemed so tempting to read...
No way, he thought to himself, looking away. I will not go down to that level. I'd rather sit here and do nothing all day.
But...
Maybe just a few pages, he thought, picking up the book with hesitation and beginning to read.
"Tony...what are you...?" Steve asked as Tony began walking towards him with a strange, almost seductive look on his face.
"Something I've wanted to do for so long." Tony grabbed Steve and shoved him onto the couch. Climbing on top of the other, Tony began to-
"Ah! Ew! Who would write this?!" Bruce shouted, slamming the book shut. "What kind of sick freak likes reading this?!"
You do.
"What?" Bruce asked no one. It was a strange feeling, but for some reason Bruce felt like he needed to read more of this book. It was very good, very erotic, but good. And besides, he had nothing else to do, and this huge pile was just sitting there.
With hesitation, Bruce opened the book and began on the first chapter.
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"Damn Captain, how long had Bruce been gone?" Tony asked, sitting on the couch and holding a bottle of beer. A movie was on TV, but none of the Avengers were really paying attention to it, instead talking about embarrassing things that had happened to them in the past.
"He's been gone for a couple hours. I don't know what's going on at base." Steve responded, coming to sit beside Loki.
"Well, we did piss him off pretty bad." Tony remarked, shuddering at the memory of Bruce screaming at him and throwing chairs.
"How did we all manage to do that?" Natasha asked. She was sitting on her own couch, alone, clearly not wanting anyone to sit next to her, as she had shoved Clint to the floor when he tried to.
"I have no idea. But I miss him." Loki complained, laying against the back of the couch.
"Well, maybe he wants to stay away from us until tomorrow." Steve suggested, remembering how Bruce had thrown a table at the wall before stomping out. "He'll probably be back by tomorrow, and everything will be normal again."
"Yeah. I hope so..." Tony remarked, staring out the window in the direction of the S.H.E.I.L.D. headquarters.
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The thrill of being in the big city pulsed through their veins as they stood in the crowd.
The two scientists were here for a convention, but it looked like everyone else was excited as well.
The crowd bustled through the streets, pushing the two boys closer together. Tony's groin grinded against Bruce's scrumptious donk.
Neither of them complained.
"Ahh! Ewww! That's disgusting!" Bruce yelled, throwing the book, called City Visit, to the side. He was blushing in many shades of red and green, out of embarrassment for reading it, and anger toward the person who had written it. "Of course I would complain!"
He had been in here for over four hours now. Having nothing else to do, he had read the first two Iron Molester books, The Quest for Butts and Mission: Ass. Of course, the books were disgusting, but he didn't have anything else to do, and he had no idea when the day would be over.
"How's it going?" Carrie asked as she stepped into the room with a small lunchbox that she handed to Bruce. "Wha-?" She noticed the pile of books. "Have you been reading those?"
"I don't want to admit it, but yes." Bruce said as he inspected the contents of the lunchbox. "I have nothing else to do. I hate it but for some reason I can't stop reading it."
"Well, I was going to tell you that it would be best to stay here overnight." Carrie advised. Bruce nodded, and she left, leaving him alone with the books.
Bruce didn't want to read anymore of the erotic fanfiction. But he had to. For some reason, he just couldn't stop reading it.
Did that mean he actually liked it?!
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A few hours later...
"Oh, what the hell?" Tony asked. "Bruce left like eight hours ago. Where the hell is he now?"
"I think he's staying at base overnight." Steve advised. "Like I said, everything will be better tommorow. Just don't piss him off like you did today."
"Okay, you know what? I did not piss him off." Tony argued. "He pissed himself off. Ever since this morning, he's been all hormonal for some reason. Hey, maybe he's pregnant or something. Oh no, Loki, what have you done?!"
Loki didn't seem to hear Tony's joke. He was laying across the couch, staring at the floor with a sad look. He clearly missed his boyfriend. He didn't like it when Bruce was mad. All he wanted to do was calm him down, tell him everything would be alright...
"Hey Captain, I think Loki is heartbroken or something." Tony called, but he did feel some sympathy toward the trickster. He was an Avenger like them, and Loki's sadness just put everyone around him in a sad mood.
"It'll be okay." Steve assured. "Bruce will be back tommorow, and everything will be normal again."
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The next morning...
Carrie woke up at around 8 AM. She immediatley went to go check on Bruce, see if he was calm after the events of the previous day. Instead, she found him sprawled across the floor, facedown in one of those books. A bunch of the fanfictions were half opened or tossed to the side.
He seemed to subconciously sense her presence, because he woke up when she stared at him.
"Did you stay up all night reading those?" she asked. He picked up the book he had been reading, which was the third edition of the Iron Molester series, called Tony the Buttpirate.
"I did." Bruce admitted, diving into the book where he left off.
"Tony, I...I don't know what to say..." Bruce said as Tony walked towards him and began to take both their shirts off.
"You don't have to say anything." Tony whispered, grabbing Bruce and shoving him over a lab table, beginning to-
"Why are you so interested in those?!" Carrie yelled in shock. "Aren't they disgusting?!"
"Of course, but they're very good." Bruce explained.
"Well, alright, but you should go now." Carrie advised. Bruce picked up the pile of books and ran out of that room, Carrie staring in shock.
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A few minutes later...
"Hey guys, you have to see this!"
The Avengers looked to Bruce to see him returning with a bunch of books. There were only three there, Tony, Steve, and Natasha, but he still needed to show these books to them.
"See what?" Steve asked. "And where have you been all night?"
"I went to S.H.E.I.L.D., and this girl locked me in a room." Bruce explained. "And the last guy who was in there had all of these books." He handed them out.
"Iron Molester, hmmm? Well well well." Tony said when Bruce handed him said book. "I don't really remember posing like this though..."
"What the hell are these?" Natasha asked, after she had read a few pages of City Visit. "And why did you bring these?"
"Because they're good." Bruce put in, opening a book called Chains and Whips and Hammers.
"But they're so...gross...and...dirty..." Steve pointed out. After only reading the first sentence of a book called Sheilds and Bondage, he had been so embarrassed that he turned red.
"I know, I know, but they're so good..." Bruce picked up another book and began reading it.
"Look, they might be good..." Tony began. "But can you keep them to yourself, just like your radioactive drinks*, just you read them. We're not interested."
"-sigh- Alright, I will." Bruce agreed.
"And another thing." Tony put in. "Watch out for fangirls."
"I can't agree more." Bruce pointed out, and they all agreed.
The next day Bruce threw all the books out the window.
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*In one of my little plays, Bruce has these weird radioactive drinks that he says keep him calm. He apparently made them from some expierement he made in the lab, and got some material from the back of a nuclear power plant.
Well, that was that! Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, even though I feel ashamed to have written some of those disgusting erotic scenes.
By the way, I'm not trashing those kinds of stories, I just don't really like them that much. And this is what the Avengers would do if they found one. :\
R & R please :D