Even after all this time, Jack found himself scared. Yes, he had the Guardians, and yes, he had his very adorkable boyfriend Hiccup to keep him company, but for some reason, he never really got over his fear. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he fought with the Nightmare King just last year and his main power was nightmares and darkness. And maybe it was when he did finally get his memories back, he was in immense pain from his broken staff and extremely cold. Maybe, even back than, he started to associate the cold and the dark with pain. Or maybe it was because he never seemed to recall a happy memory when it was dark and cold out. Because in the daylight you could ice skate and build snowmen and have a snowball fight, but in night everyone went back inside and left Jack alone. And back when he only had a couple believers and no place to really call "home" himself, he felt lonely when they left to go back to their houses, to their families, to their lives…
However it happened though, one thing was clear: Jack had a fear of the dark and the cold when he was not constantly surrounded by someone else's warmth. It wasn't that he hated his powers, or ever wished to be a spirit of a different season, plus Hiccup, Merida, and Punzie did their jobs perfectly, but that he got a creepy-crawly feeling every time it turned dark and there seemed to be a lingering chill in the air. Even though he knew it was irrational and stupid like most fears are, he found he just couldn't stop the fear and he could never even hope to overcome it. Well, until one night. The night Hiccup found out about his fear…
It was a very cold day, as Jack had just made a small flurry outside of Burgess so that Jamie and his friends could have a snow day with him, Hiccup, and Toothless. All of the kids had left for the night as the darkness was upon them. Hiccup and Jack were just about to head on back to their little cabin on Berk. No one lived there now, besides the dragons and them, as the Berkians had all died off, but it was still a very comforting place to live for Hiccup and Jack. Jack still remembers the days when he had visited Hiccup still trying to make inventions to kill dragons. Now Hiccup used his big brain to help dragons and keep them hidden from the human eyes that may wish them harm. He had learned his lesson after the Red Death and Drago, after all. But those days were in the past, and no longer haunted either of the boy's minds. Nothing did, or so Hiccup thought.
"Can you imagine having kids like Jamie and Sophie?" Hiccup asked wistfully. He loved Jack very much, but one of the things they both really wanted was a child they could spend their lives with. It was sort of a game they played, if one saw a child that they could imagine holding themselves, they would point him/her out to their lover. But that night, that cold night, Jack merely grunted to show he had heard and continued to look at the sky. The sky with no bright moon hanging in it.
"Hey." Hiccup said coming behind Jack and gently laying one of his hands on Jack's shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it? You know I won't judge you for whatever you say. Look at me; I'm a left-handed, gay guy with a dragon as a pet. I'm not in any way normal." Toothless raised his head when he heard his friend mention dragon, but after a moment decided they weren't really talking about him and rested in on his paws again.
When that failed to gain a laugh or even a smile from Jack, who usually loved his little quips, he knelt down beside Jack wrapping his arms around him. "You know you could tell me anything, right?"
"Yeah, I know." Jack said turning around and burying his head into Hiccup's neck. "I-I just… It's gotten a lot worse." Jack finally admitted, letting out a deep sigh and settling into Hiccup's embrace.
"I thought… I mean I thought…"
"Hey, it's alright." Hiccup said squeezing Jack lightly. "Whatever it is, it's going to be fine."
"I'm just so scared!" Jack shouted, a little bit taken back by how loud he was being. Jack's voice softened considerably as he carefully chose the right words to explain his fear.
"I'm not afraid of the dark, not at all! In fact I sort of like it… It's just that… that I can't remember a time when I was cold and it was dark and I enjoyed it. Now I don't hate my powers, or hate myself in any way, I just…" Jack trailed off, not quite knowing how to finish that sentence in a way that would make Hiccup understand. But for some reason, Jack had a feeling he understood.
"You know I used to be scared of lighters and matches." Hiccup admitted softly after a few moments, not wanting to raise his voice higher in fear of scaring his lover by the sudden sound.
"You… afraid… lighters?" Jack questioned, trying to keep the hint of laughter from his voice. Hiccup smiled himself, proud that he had managed to get a laugh out of his boyfriend, no matter how small.
"You have a flaming sword and a dragon who shoots plasma blasts, plus you enjoy working in a forge, and you are afraid of a little lighter?!" Jack asked, still sort of shocked from the admission.
"Well it's true!" Hiccup said, laughing slightly too. "I know it doesn't make much sense, but when I'm on Toothless or using my sword or even in the forge, I'm hot, but I'm not as close to fire as I am when I have a match in my hand. A few centimeters, if that, are not nearly as much as the foot or so I am when I pick up my flaming sword. The heat I can deal with, but the fire, the flame. That's something I just can't even think of getting close to me. Yes, pretty irrational, but what fear isn't? Isn't the fact that it is irrational, make it that more scary?"
As Jack pondered Hiccup's words, he had the sudden urge to kiss him. That, that right there was right what Jack had needed to hear. As if hearing Jack's thoughts, Hiccup pulled back until he could see Jack's face. Gently gripping Jack's hands in his, Hiccup whispered some last minute encouragement.
"You know it's okay, right? It's okay to be afraid. You don't always have to be brave. Braveness is knowing you are afraid and dealing with it, it's not the absence of fear." Hiccup whispered as he closed the distance between them, sealing his words with a kiss. And that moment, finally gave Jack the power to break free of his painful dark and cold memories. In that moment, Jack felt truly brave.
AN: I warned you! It is extremely cheesy! So yes, I have a fear of the cold and darkness, which is what I actually based this one-shot on. If I'm inside my house I'm fine, I just seem to have the fear when I am outside. It's not anything that serious; I just seem to check over my shoulder a couple more times than usual. I can probably trace it back to when I was in Kindergarten and a tree fell through my house. I don't remember much, but one of the things I remember very vividly is standing in my garage in only my nightgown (it happened during the night) and looking out into the darkness waiting for the firefighters to arrive. I also have a fear of lighters and matches so I added that in too for kicks and giggles.
Just a note: I did not write this for you to feel sorry for me, I wrote this for the people out there who are scared and don't want to be anymore. True, this is probably not going to help those who have a fear get over it, but maybe this will help them feel not so alone.
To my avid readers of Blind Eyes Can Sometimes See: I promise that I will get the next chapter out as soon as I can, but I have had a feeling of dread every time I went to write so I started to do it less and less. I promise I will finish it, no matter how long it may take me, so bear with me please. Thank you for not giving up on me and reading this one-shot even after I haven't updated in so long!
