A/N: Bloody one shots are far too addicting. And I'm horrible at updating things, so perhaps one shots are better for me? I have a pal who is just like Remus is in this piece. He fell in love with this girl, but then he realized that she didn't want him and now he is just a bitter mess. Anyway, enjoy the story!
Disclaimer: Most assuredly not mine.
There Are More Fish In The SeaThey sat around in a circle, all facing him, watching him with worried faces. They'd been his friends for longer than he could remember. The Marauders, they had named themselves.
Remus, with his quiet voice and his intellect, watched him with concerned eyes, cloudy and troubled. Peter, who was always looking for the best opportunity or the best friend, stared at him, waiting for what he always seemed to know was coming: difficulty. And Sirius, nothing but loyal from the very beginning, leaned forward, arms on knees, hair in his eyes, frowning.
James Potter took a breath and then looked down, away from his three friends.
"Look mate," said Sirius, "you've got to snap out of it, yeah?"
"I can't," James replied quietly, his eyes darting to the side.
He tried not to glance over at her, but he couldn't help it. Things always came down to this…
Lily Evans. Cor, she was beautiful.
James couldn't count the nights he'd sat in the common room of Hogwarts School, watching her laugh with one friend or another—they were always buzzing around her. He'd keep his eyes trained on the magazine or the book in front of him for a decent twenty minutes, but then it'd happen. His eyes, those bloody traitors, would be dragged over to whatever corner of the room she was sitting in.
It wasn't any one thing he'd stare at. It wasn't her hair, it wasn't her skin, or her eyes, so green he thought once that he was seeing the color wrong. He just liked her. He just liked looking at her. He had since first year in Professor Binns History of Magic class when she'd raised her hand, looked around, and recited some bookish answer. Professor Binns had been impressed that she'd practically memorized the whole history book. James had just been impressed.
It didn't even matter that she quickly developed an intense dislike for him. It just made him like her more. Funny how that happens. One minute she was shouting at him, and the next she was looking at him, waiting for his next witty retort. James couldn't help it—he loved playing games, especially with her.
But things were different now. Lily Evans wasn't just some mesmerizing girl in his school house. She was Lily Evans.
Once in fifth year, James had been walking down the corridor and saw Lily. She glared at him, knocked his shoulder, and marched off down the halls. James had turned to Sirius and said, "I'm going to marry her." He didn't really believe it, of course. He didn't even think he wanted to get married. Those things never ended well. But that was two years ago.
Now it was seven years after the first time James had ever seen Lily, and seven years can do things to people. They can make a bloke realize what a prat he's been to the people he surrounds himself with. They can make him re-evaluate what he wants. But best of all, those seven long years can make a guy think.
And James had thought long and hard about what he wanted only to come to the same conclusion he'd had two years before. He was going to marry Lily Evans. He knew he wanted to now. And who knew, things could end well.
Problems often present themselves, though, at times when a bloke's made up his mind. And James's problem was a big one.
"I'd marry her, you know," James said to his three friends, looking them each in the eye. "I'd marry her tomorrow."
"You're seventeen, Prongs," said Peter, doubtfully. His thrust was clear: James was only seventeen and he already wanted to marry someone.
"That's hardly the point, Pete," Remus said slowly, looking over at Lily. "She doesn't like him like that, does she?"
Peter frowned while Sirius let out a huff of breath. James squeezed his eyes together and leaned back into his chair. Right, there it was. The problem.
Lily Evans didn't like James. She still played the game—personal jab from her, witty remark from him. She'd brushed her hand against his once or twice. She laughed at his jokes now. The shoulder knocks in the corridors weren't so violent these days. She didn't hate him anymore, true, but she didn't actually want him, and that was what it all came down to.
James colored and let out a doleful, "Right."
Sirius rubbed his hand over his jaw and said, "Look, Prongs, you can't let her do this to you. So the girl doesn't like you. You know what you do?"
James stared back at Sirius, but didn't answer.
"You move on," Sirius said. "You adjust. The wicked thing about people, James, is that they can change."
James shook his head at Sirius and looked back at Lily. He'd already changed. He'd already re-evaluated. He'd already made up his mind. It wasn't James who needed to do the changing now.
"I'm not going to change, Padfoot. I won't do it," said James.
After a moment, Remus looked away from Lily and said, "So what are you going to do, James? You chased after the girl for seven years. Don't you think your rope is at an end? I know you want to make her see, but you've got to accept that it might be over."
"So what do you suggest," James breathed. He wasn't just going to walk away. Not after everything. It seemed to hard a thing to do to just leave seven years of Lily Evans behind.
"There're plenty more fish in the sea, James," said Remus sadly.
James stood up and shook his head. "There aren't, there aren't! Don't you get it Remus? Don't you get that there aren't any more fish in the sea? Not when I just want one?"
Remus just looked back at James heavily. He said nothing, and fleetingly, James wondered if Remus really didn't get it. Next to him, Peter kept silent.
But it was Sirius, the loyal one, who shook his head and said quietly, "Blimey, mate, look what's happened to you."
James let out a sharp breath and turned around, heading for the door of the common room. His voice had been loud when he'd said those things, but he didn't regret it if she heard him. There weren't very many things James regretted these days.
How could there be someone else out there?
James pushed open the portrait door and stepped out into the dark corridor. It was getting late, and the halls were empty now. The torches on the walls were burning down. He leaned against the cold stone of the wall and let out a long breath.
They were his friends, his very best, but they didn't get it. Sirius, for all of his worth, just couldn't understand why James would give himself up for the one thing he couldn't have. And Peter, well Peter just didn't know what to say. Sometimes it seemed as if Peter couldn't make up his mind between being and disappearing.
But Remus was different. James was sure that Remus knew what James was talking about. Remus had once wanted Lily just as James had. Maybe not to the same degree, but it was there. It was hard talking to Remus about her. Anything Remus said was steeped in bitterness over his own realization that he couldn't have Lily Evans.
James squeezed his eyes together again and turned his face up to the distant ceiling. He didn't want to be like Remus. He didn't want to be bitter over Lily. He didn't want to compare every other girl he knew to her. Remus was wasting away because of all he thought he was lacking, and James didn't want to start wasting away too.
Down the corridor, the portrait door opened quietly and a figure stepped out into the hall. James turned away quickly and walked over to the stair railing. He stared down the flights of spiraling stairs that moved, occasionally, of their own accord, trying to ignore the figure that had come to stand next to him. It was difficult.
After a moment, the girl said, "Remus told me I should come and talk to you."
James didn't say anything. He wondered why Remus would do that.
"Thing is, James," Lily said in a soft voice, "I don't know what I'm supposed to come out here and talk to you about."
She put her elbows on the railing and looked down into the dark with him, letting the silence stretch out between them. James shut his eyes and listened to her breathing. What was he doing? He'd worked so hard to realize what it was he wanted from her, and here he was, silent.
Maybe Remus was right, maybe there were more fish in the sea. But James wasn't about to find out. He turned to look at Lily, who pushed some of her red hair behind her ear and looked back at him.
"We've known each other for seven years. Did you know that, Lily?" He asked.
Lily smiled slightly and said, "Yeah, yeah, we have."
James didn't smile back, but continued, "And in all of that time, all of those years, did you ever want something so much that…that you'd be willing to give up everything else to have it?"
Lily wrinkled her brow in confusion, but nodded just the same. "Aye. There are one or two things I'd give up everything to have, James."
"And did you?"
"Did I what?"
"Did you give up everything for them," He said.
Lily looked away. "No, I never did. It seemed like more of a game than anything else to—" She stopped talking and shook her head.
"What?" James pressed.
Lily glanced at him and continued. "I once wanted something so badly that I thought I might implode. Thing was, I wasn't supposed to want it, was I? So instead of giving up everything to have it, I pretended like I never wanted it in the first place."
"And now?"
"Well now," Lily snorted, "I'm standing here next to you and I'm completely miserable because… Look, shouldn't we be getting back?"
James shook his head. "Not yet. Just tell me why you are miserable. Isn't it better that you didn't give up everything? Isn't it better that way?"
"No," Lily whispered, not looking at him. "It isn't better at all."
James sighed. He'd planned on giving everything up and just saying it to her. Just admit it. But it was looking grim.
"Back in the common room," said Lily suddenly, "what were you shouting about when you said there weren't anymore fish in the sea?"
"Erm, I don't know. Just something Remus said."
"What did he say?"
"Look, Lily, it's better if we just go—"
"No, really," said Lily, "I want to know because that made sense to me. Here you are, and you want this thing, and everyone is telling you that you should give it up or that you shouldn't want it, but you just can't because there's nothing else you'd give up everything for more than this one thing and—"
"Lily," said James loudly. She stopped talking and James took a deep breath before saying quickly, "You, I was talking about you."
Lily colored and said slowly, "James, I thought you gave that up months ago."
"Well I didn't, all right? I didn't give it up. I didn't give you up. And you're right—here are all of these people, telling me that I should give you up because you'll never come around, but the thing is Lily, and here's where Remus made me shout, I'm not going to give you up because I just can't."
Lily stared at him with wide eyes and whispered, "But…"
"I want you, Lily. I have wanted you for a long time now." James laughed bitterly, "Just about seven years, actually."
Lily shook her head and said again, "But…"
"But what?" He asked. "Trust me, you don't need to say a thing. I've got it. There are more fish in the sea, yeah?"
Lily let out a shaky breath and said, "But you were playing games with me. You were always just playing games with me. You never meant any of it, right?"
James looked at Lily for a quick moment before leaning toward her and pressing his lips against hers. "No", he whispered when he pulled back, "they were games, but I mean what I'm saying now."
"What are you saying now?" Lily asked, pressing her hand up to her lips.
"I'm saying that you are the only fish in the sea, Lily," replied James quietly, before leaning forward again to kiss her, hoping upon hope that she wouldn't lean back and slap him.
And when his lips pressed against hers once more, she didn't.