A/N:PG-13/Teen. I don't own any of these characters. Some mentions of drugs, swearing, and male/male pairings.

Experimenting isn't easy. With all the possible chemical reactions and possible affects on the one's body, mind, and soul, it's one crazy concoction. Can the right ingredients and just the right stirring about make this chemical reaction positive?

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Chapter One

Being Harry Potter's best mate is… difficult. With all the stuff we go through every year, I'm surprised at the shape Hermione's in (she'd kill me if she read that). From day one, I had a feeling about Harry. That somehow, we'd be together no matter the thickness or thinness of the situation. Funny how I never thought about how deadly serious the next problem would be.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think of Harry as a problem to be dealt with. I need him as much as he needs me. I know he needs me because he won't talk anymore. He's more withdrawn. And, crazy as it seems, I noticed that he's changed… In appearance I mean. In seventh year, he lost the glasses and got contacts, started wearing darker clothing (which I noticed were new), let his hair grow so it covered forehead and most of his eyesight. Also, much to the surprise of half of the school, he started bringing his own music from muggles and started to wear dark eyeliner around his eyes. He had charmed a CD player to play in Hogwarts, and was constantly with headphones near his ears, except when in classes. Even then, he seemed to be in his own world. Harry also looked weaker. His hands would shake, and he seemed to just be a stick figure (even more of one than before puberty hit him).

Sadly enough, Ferret noticed Harry's withdrawal before I did. He approached me and Hermione after a potions lesson that Harry had walked swiftly away from before I could catch him.

"Granger, Weasley." He had greeted, nodding. I looked at Hermione, a frown coming to my face.

"Can I help you, Malfoy?" I asked a little irritated all ready because of Harry leaving.

"No… But I think you two need help." Malfoy stopped there, glancing up and down the corridor, eyeing stragglers from the last class. Hermione stayed silent, thinking. I, on the other hand, exhaled impatiently.

"What do you think we need help with? Stuffing your ass into a—?" Malfoy cut me off, saying,

"No, Weasley. You have your head stuck so far up your ass, you can't even see—!" This time, Hermione cut into the sentence.

"Enough! Yes, Malfoy. I did notice. Harry's being… He's not himself... He barely even looks at us… If he does it seems…" Hermione's eyes misted and I stared at the both of them.

"What are you talking about? What's up with Harry?" I couldn't really place my emotions then. Malfoy exhaled and said quietly.

"Weasley… Something's wrong. I don't know how you can't see it… You're his best friend! …Potter needs something… Someone." He stared at me. I didn't know then, but Malfoy was telling me what I needed to do. Like I said, I didn't know then. After that conversation, I took to watching Harry more. Observing the ingredients, you could say. Finally, I figured out what had to happen. I had to get closer.

One night, before Seamus, Dean, and Neville were in our dorm, I followed Harry up to our dorm, not even looking at anyone else as I made my way up there. I don't even think Harry knew I was following him. When I got into our dorm, I thought that Harry'd put on his dad's cloak to hide from me. I swallowed, looking around, and I whispered out his name. When no answer came, I called again, a little louder. I listened for a moment, and heard shuffling in the bathroom. Slowly I made my way to the door, stopping to listen for a moment. The shuffling came again and then something clinked to the ground. I could hear heavy breathing and I swallowed again. I twisted the door knob, entered having my guard up.

There Harry was, huddled against the wall, shivering and sweating, one sleeve scrunched up past his elbow, and just below his elbow were several scratches and punctures, and some scars appeared there as well. On the floor by his feet was a needle, a bag of a white substance, a spoon, and a plastic thing, and what looked like a tie. Harry looked to me, but I wasn't sure if he even saw me. Harry looked down again, shivering. I eyed the white substance again, wondering if that was what made him shiver like that. I moved closer to him, and sat next to him. He wouldn't stop shivering. He looked towards me, brow sweating and lips trying to form words.

I could only shake my head. He moved forward suddenly (So suddenly I was afraid there was something wrong), and grabbed his knees up to his chest for support. He kept shivering though. There was a small space between the wall and him, so I slowly moved behind him, and wrapped my arms around him. His shivering intensified and I grew scared. Harry let go of his knees and they dropped down, his hands grasping at my arms. I moved the slightest and he grabbed around my upper wrist, nails digging into my skin. It did hurt, I won't lie, but I didn't make a sound. This was about Harry's pain. His shivering continued and his sweating made me sure he'd be dehydrated beyond help, but I held him close to me. So close that it almost seemed like we were just one body. He was shivering and I was too. His brow was covered in sweat, and I broke out in a sweat.

After a while, I couldn't tell you how long it took for Harry to stop shivering, I don't know myself, and we just sat there, him breathing softly and me barely breathing at all. My arms began to regain feeling, and he began to stir in my arms. The side of his head had been resting on my forearm since he stopped shivering, and I felt his eyelashes graze my skin as his eyes opened. I licked my lips and let out a shaky breath, not knowing exactly why I did so. Harry's warm breath tickled across my arm as well, and I waited.

"Ron?" He croaked out. I cleared my throat as quietly as I could, but my voice still came out in a small whisper.

"Yeah?" Harry's face changed to one of relief.

"How are you, Ron?" Harry asked, he smiling into my skin.

"I'm okay, Harry. What about you?" I found myself asking, as if what had just occurred between us was the most normal thing in the world.

"A little breathless, but otherwise I'm good." When Harry said 'breathless', his breath whispered across my skin again and the hairs on the back of my neck rose. I whispered out a "Yeah," and leaned against the wall, looking to the ceiling. Harry still held onto my arm, but not with white knuckles as he had before.

Finally, I whispered out, "Harry?"

"Yes, Ron?" He replied. I swallowed and asked,

"What is that stuff for?" Harry allowed a small chuckle to escape and then sobered.

"They're drugs, Ron. This is Cocaine. If you add water to the powder and warm it on the spoon, you can put it in the needle, syringe yourself up and inject it into your vein… And it makes your troubles go away." It was like a robot the way Harry said it. Somehow these drugs didn't sound like a good idea. But I didn't let on to Harry that I thought that. I needed him to talk to me. So I nodded and said,

"Okay… Are you ready for bed?" I sounded like my mother! But Harry nodded into my arm, mumbling something. So I untangled my arm from around him and watched him gather his stuff and stuff it into his jeans. He gave me a small smile and led the way out, still a bit shaky on his feet, but I didn't help him. No one had come up, so I hurriedly got dressed for bed, and made sure Harry was all right and in bed. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. That night I dreamed about the Forbidden Forest and how Harry had got me away from all those spiders. I'm not sure why.

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The next week I caught him doing cocaine once, and that weekend, I went to the library on a Hogsmeade day. Hermione eyed me like I'd gone crazy, and Harry just shrugged it off, taking Hermione around the shoulders and leading her to Honeydukes. As I roamed the many shelves, looking though the Muggle Studies section, I grabbed many books. Drugs, Effects of Street Drugs, and even one entitled, Sexuality: Wizard and Muggle Alike Question Preferences. I didn't know at the time why, but now I'm glad I did.

I chose a table at the back of the room, as far away from the other students that loitered the library as I could. I looked through the Index of the book Drugs first, finding cocaine and its page number. I turned to the page and pulled out my piece of parchment and ready-script quill (Hermione had bought it for me for a birthday. It never runs out of ink and I'm thankful for it!). I read through the first paragraph, scribbling down some useful information. Then, I turned to the Effects of Street Drugs book. It was basically the same as the other book, but I scribbled some other things down, noting that some drugs such as Nicotine and Alcohol were called gate way drugs, meaning they just opened up gates to more drugs such as Cocaine. I took note to look for either of these around Harry.

Finally, I was left with the Sexuality book. I stared at the cover for a moment, before I opened it to the introductory paragraph. I read the first sentence or two, before turning to the Table of Contents. Sexuality hadn't really been a question before then, and I was nervous. I mean, Charlie, my brother is gay; I've even met some of his boyfriends. But I never really considered it before that I may have been homosexual. The library door banging open drew my attention away from the book towards the front of the library. There stood Malfoy, apparently he'd come back from Hogsmeade early. I cursed lowly and hurried to gather my things, closing the books and putting them back on the shelves. Just as I had put the Sexuality book back where it belonged and stuffed the parchment and quill into my pocket, I turned around and ran head on into Malfoy. He looked to the book I'd just put back and grinned.

"Have a question about yourself, Weasel? Falling for one of your dorm mates?" He asked, sneering. I glared and pushed him aside.

"You know what, Ferret? Mind your own business and maybe look at the dog you're dating before you make fun of me being gay." I didn't even realize I'd said that until an hour or so laying in my bed in the dorm. I felt remorse, and thought about how I'd be ridiculed for the next month or so, by telling him I was gay. I didn't even think I was gay yet, and there I was, telling my enemy that I was homosexual.

As I thought about the stupid thing I'd said, someone entered the dorm, but I didn't look up. I was staring at the ceiling, and suddenly, there he was, standing above me grinning. "Heya Ron! Bought you something! Open it!" He held a bag over my face, swinging it back and forth. I grinned with him, forgetting about the things that I'd looked for in the library.

"All right, all right Harry! Keep your pants on, mate!" I looked inside the bag and gasped at what I saw. There was a small jewelry box and when he opened it for me, I saw a gold chain, and on that chain there was gold lion that roared and moved quietly. I smiled a wide smile. "Harry, mate… You shouldn't have…" I whispered, not moving to take the necklace. I sensed Harry's grin.

"Aw, but Ron, I saw it and it was you… It's not too gay, is it?" He asked, and I could feel his uncertainty. I looked him in the eye, still smiling.

"Nah. It's perfect." I whispered, taking the necklace shakily from his hand. Harry grinned again and watched me put it on my neck. The lion made itself comfortable on the center of my collar bone and yawned. I grinned again, liking the feel of gold on my skin. Harry smiled at my grin and crumpled the paper bag.

"Hermione kept asking whom I bought it for… I just told her it was a friend…" Harry told me, and I wondered what Hermione would think if I told her I was the friend. I watched Harry change from a dark sweater to a wife beater, that was a simple black and his black pants sagging slightly I could see his boxers that were a bright green. I grinned at that, but tried my hardest not to stare. Suddenly I bent down and dug under my bed, bringing out a chess board with some chess pieces. Harry saw them and grinned, coming to sit at the end of my bed, expectantly.

I gave him his pieces and began to set up mine, hearing the whispers of the chessmen. I stared at the ebony queen as I sat her down in her place and she glared at me, before I set her down. I waited for a moment as Harry placed his last piece and surveyed the board. Finally Harry said an order to a white pawn and it slipped forward two spaces. I told one of my pawns to slip forward a space… And Hermione came in.

"Hi, boys! Ron… I want your help with something, can you come down with me to the library?" Hermione asked, seeming to plead. I looked to Harry and Harry shrugged.

"Do you need my help at all?" He asked, and Hermione smiled.

"Thanks, Harry, but no thanks. As I recall, you still have some potions homework, and Ron got his done today… Isn't that right, Ron?" She looked to me, and I nodded, but I didn't tell Harry I had a blank parchment with the heading Wolfsbane Potion and its Ingredients in my potions book. Harry sighed.

"All right, we'll continue our game another time, shall we?" Harry asked, taking the board and stuffing it under my bed, careful not to disturb any of the pieces. I nodded, standing to follow Hermione. I looked back to see Harry watching me.

No he couldn't have been watching me. Perhaps we, as in Hermione and me. But not just me.

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