This is part of a series known as "Story of Three Boys," or SoTB. The first five parts, collectively, are This is the Story of a Boy, or TitSoaB. This is eventually a Puck/Kurt story, with liberal doses of Finn. This was written to be in line with canon through 2x22, "New York."
We don't own Glee.
Series Summary: This is the story of a boy; this is the story of three boys. Two brothers, two best friends, two lovers.
Summary for This is the Story of a Boy, Part I: I Am Not In Need: As junior year comes to an end, Noah Puckerman tries to do the rightthing, while still pushing aside everything he doesn't want to think about.
Part I, Chapter i
"Noah?"
Puck looks up from the paper he's absently writing on. "Yeah?"
His mom steps into the room. "I need you to do me a favor."
Puck stands up, starting to reach for his wallet and keys, when his mom holds up her hand. "No, no, not an errand."
"Oh." Puck shrugs and sits back down. "What is it?"
"Your friend Rachel, from the glee club." She pauses and Puck gives her a weird look. "Her fathers are out of town for over a week, and I just–obviously they must trust her, to leave her alone." She forces out a fake-sounding laugh. "Goodness knows I couldn't leave you here, especially not and expect you to take care of Hannah." She plasters her smile on her face. "I just wondered if you'd look out for her? Maybe take some of your friends over to her place this weekend? Her fathers won't be back until late next week."
Puck sighs. It's not that he dislikes Rachel; he doesn't. He doesn't necessarily like her, either; she's like an annoying cousin, someone that you tolerate and even watch out for, but who isn't necessarily your friend. Still. Saturday night out without his mom grumbling? It wasn't an opportunity Puck was going to pass up.
Rachel nearly blew the entire thing before it started. He doesn't know exactly what changed her mind in the fifteen minutes between he proposed the party and when she chases after him babbling about Carole King, but Puck's pretty sure that, knowing Rachel, it was either some kind of celebrity thing or Finn Hudson.
Since Finn walked into the choir room as Puck was leaving, Puck's putting his money on Finn.
Rachel wasn't entirely wrong. He does enjoy a party. Getting drunk and having sex (or, hell, making out, even) is a good way to take the edge off. It's a good way to relax at the end of the week, to ease the itch under his skin. Plus, it's expected. It's what someone like Puck does. And, yeah, maybe sometimes he doesn't get as drunk as everyone else, or as drunk as everyone else thinks he is.
It's a good way to make sure you don't do something really stupid, something that would get you beat up or worse. Puck's never put a finger on what exactly he thinks might happen if he lost his inhibitions and filters completely, but he can't remember a time when he wasn't a little worried about it. He's pretty sure it was before middle school. Middle school was when everything started sorting out, everyone fell into their appointed roles, and even if everything took two or three weeks to shake out at the beginning of freshmen year, when the three middle schools learned to coexist as one freshman class, well. Most of the roles stayed the same, it was just a bigger heap, and Puck had been determined to be at the top of the heap.
He hadn't been at the top of the heap for awhile now, though, and even though common sense should've told him to walk away from the glee club the first time a slushie hit his face… well. It was like Santana had said, back at their first competition.
Glee club was the best part of his day. And a party with just the twelve of them in glee club did actually sound fun. Especially if he wasn't really all that drunk. Hell, maybe Lauren would be a needy drunk or a clingy drunk or even better, like Brittany, ready to strip.
Come to think of it, he should tell Artie about his girlfriend's tendency to strip when drunk. Artie might not want to drink as much as everyone else, either.
Finn and Kurt aren't drinking at all, which makes four of them that are clearly more sober than the others. Puck and Artie are definitely having more fun than either of the Hudmel bros. Kurt looks like he can't decide if he should barf or cry. Puck thinks maybe a combination of the two would be appropriate, because it's really sad that he finds the short guy so attractive, and really disgusting to watch the shortest dude Puck's ever met singing with a really short girl.
And isn't this dude supposed to be gay?
Finn looks just as miserable with Rachel up there singing to someone else as he did when she was draped all over him.
Puck's pretty stoked that he didn't get as drunk as the others, because on Monday, he's functional and does not have a splitting headache. A headache, yeah, but he drunk two bottles of water as soon as he got home on Saturday night and took some ibuprofen when he woke up the next morning. He's not stupid, no matter what the others may think.
Even better is the look on Mr. Schuester's face when he comes up with the line about the commercials during NASCAR being for beer. Puck smirks inwardly. Yeah, he had a great time at the party, just a little buzzed, and he gets the added fun of watching his friends be stupidly drunk and then hungover.
The only problem is the matter of the Misters Berry's liquor cabinet. The one that he promised Rachel he'd restock before they arrived back home. Now it's Wednesday night and Puck is panicking.
Most of it is easy to replace. His mom probably won't notice if he takes a bottle or two of whiskey or vodka to restock the Berry's. Puck is able to score a few bottles of hard liquor just by hanging around outside the liquor stores for a few hours. The rest of it, though, he buys, and he winces as he hands over the last bills along with his fake ID.
It's easy to let everyone think that his pool cleaning went to paying for a vasectomy. Puck mentally snorts. As if. No, he's learned several lessons in the last few years, but the bills he is spending are the last of his summer earnings. He won't get more until at least the end of May.
It's not even the end of February.
A week later, Finn calls, suggesting they join Sam, Mike, and Artie at the movie theatre. Puck winces and says he'll call Finn back, then opens his wallet forlornly.
His mom works hard, but she's still paid for secretarial work at a small law firm in a tiny town in Ohio, so most of what she earns is spent on rent and other bills. Once a week, on her pay day, she hands Hannah a five dollar bill and Puck a ten dollar bill. That's their money for the week.
Needless to say, Puck packs a lunch most days.
Once, she did give Puck more money, but then she found out about the slushies. Then there was Quinn and Beth, and finally the stint in juvie, even if she did appreciate him taking the offered sentence instead of fighting it in court, which would've cost money they didn't have.
So Puck gets ten dollars a week, and he made his pool cleaning money last for awhile, but now it's not quite March, and Finn wants to go see a movie, and he's got three bucks.
He's staring at his wallet, as if he can magically make more money appear, when Hannah walks in the room. "What's wrong, Noah?"
"Nothing, squirt," Puck sighs. "Just wishing I had enough money to go to see a movie."
"Can't you go to the ATM like Mom does? Put your card in and get more?"
Puck rolls his eyes. "First of all, I know you know that you have to have money in your bank account before that can work. Second of all, I don't have a bank account or a card, so how could I?"
"Why not?" Hannah asks, and she sounds as if it's a perfectly reasonable question. "You're seventeen! I thought all seventeen year olds had bank accounts."
Puck frowns and glares at her. "Whatever." He stands up, grabbing his phone. "I'm gonna go to my room." He stalks down the hall and closes the door with a little too much force, then flops onto his bed. He sends Finn a quick text message.
No can do movie tonight. Plans
Finn doesn't need to know that Puck's plans include the Chinese take-out his mom is bringing home, calling his Nana on the phone, and playing on his guitar before goofing off online.
No one really needs to know that Noah Puckerman is broke.
"Babies don't get dropped off."
Puck feels kind of dumb to point that out, but it's not like something he can forget. Quinn seems all too willing to forget, reducing her sophomore year to lost abs and stretch marks. Puck walks around with a little hole, a Beth-shaped hole, and it doesn't get any smaller. Sometimes he thinks it's getting bigger, just like she is.
Puck gets home from school and checks his email, still thinking about how Brittany could have lived through the last year and a half with them and still not understand that babies are not dropped off by the stork.
His inbox has one of Shelby's irregularly-timed missives, a somewhat lengthy update followed by inquiries into himself, and five pictures as attachments. The pictures are, as always, the best part and the worst part. The best, because he can actually see his little girl, his Beth, see that she's growing and healthy and happy. The worst, because he's reminded of just exactly what he signed away, what he gave up. Because he's reminded that he's a father, that he has a daughter.
So, really, is it his fault that he doesn't quite understand what his girl means at first the next day? He likes the way Lauren looks out for him. Sometimes she's bitchy and condescending, but it's not the same way as girls like Quinn or even Rachel. She hands him his backpack, gets him to class on time, and reminds him regularly that it's possible to leave Lima behind.
She's never called him a Lima loser.
And, yeah, Puck'd rather be making a sex tape with his girl because she wants to have sex with him, not because she wants to be famous, but Puck's tired of 'variety' meaning using his left hand in the shower versus his right hand in bed. He is a little dazed at the thought of having sex with Lauren, having sex with someone that he really gives a damn about, and has given a damn about for more than thirty minutes or so before they get naked.
The sex tape that Lauren shows him isn't particularly exciting. The way they've made it is interesting, with all the stupid editing, and he really does think the sheets are awesome, which probably means he paid too much attention during his stint at minimum-wage employment at Sheet 'N Things.
Ms. Holiday's news about what making a sex tape could mean for him, though, sends him into a tailspin. There was a good reason he freaked out in Figgins' office: he can't survive another trip to juvie.
Half an hour on Google leaves him wide-eyed and losing his dinner in the bathroom, which really pisses him off, because his mom made one of her awesome casseroles for dinner and there weren't many leftovers. Child pornography wouldn't land him in juvie again; it'd be on his record forever.
Forever.
A little more time spent reading about sex offenders and registries and Puck's back in the bathroom, puking up the ice cream he ate to replace the casserole. Hannah hears him and goes to get his mom.
His mom wants to know what's wrong, because she's known for years that Puck's a stress puker, but he doesn't answer, just shakes his head and tries to ignore the fact that he's crying.
Puck doesn't go to school the next day. He crawls into his bed and alternates sobbing and puking throughout the morning. He's kind of hated some of the things he used to do. Artie's a pretty cool dude, and he locked him in a port-a-toilet once. He hangs out with Kurt sometimes now, when he goes to play video games or watch movies with Finn, and he can't believe he used to throw Kurt in a dumpster. A dumpster. What the hell was he thinking? Seriously. What was he thinking?
What was he thinking when he took Quinn seriously when she said yes, even though he knew she'd drunk two wine coolers in rapid succession? Hell, what was he thinking, propositioning his best friend's girl, anyway?
What was he thinking when he stole the bake sale money?
What was he thinking when he said good-bye to his baby girl?
What was he thinking when he sat outside the convenience store and put the car into drive?
What was he thinking when he let them think that he was trying to steal the ATM, and let them send him to juvie? What was he thinking trying to cry for help in a way that would have cost his mom a ton of money if he hadn't taken the criminal charges?
Had he ever been thinking?
He stops crying around noon and eats the leftover casserole and the leftover ice cream, and keeps them down. He goes through his room with a trash bag and a box, and takes the trash bag to the dumpster before he can think about it. He sits down at the computer and deletes half of his bookmarks. When his mom gets home, she hands him his weekly ten dollar bill and he asks if he can take the car to Wal-Mart.
He spends five dollars and eighty-four cents at Wal-Mart. He doesn't want to head home just yet, so he parks the car at the apartment building and walks through town slowly. He walks into Starbucks and spends another three dollars on coffee. The older woman behind the counter smiles kindly at him and reaches for a cup a size larger than he pays for.
"Oh, uh, I only ordered a tall, ma'am."
She stops and cocks her head, taking him in. "You ever thought about working here?"
"Uh. No? I mean. Not specifically?" he tries again, confused.
She sets the cup back on the stack and picks up the tall. "My last three employees either quit with no notice or were stealing. I've been trying that trick with every single teenager to walk in the door today. You're the only one that corrected me."
"Oh." Puck shrugs. "Just didn't seem right."
"You tell your mama she raised you good."
Puck can't help but smile sadly. He doesn't think that his mom would agree with that assessment at all.
"Here." The woman hands Puck his cup, a straw, and a piece of paper. "It's an application. You think about it. What's your name?"
"Puck. Uh. Noah Puckerman."
"Nice to meet you. Think about bringing that back, okay?"
Puck nods, knowing he'll probably crumple it up and toss it in the trash. He may not be a liar, but that doesn't mean he's honorable or whatever else this lady is thinking. It doesn't mean he'd be a good employee.
It doesn't mean he's worth taking a chance on.
Puck finds his feet taking him to Celibacy Club the next day. First things first: his dick hasn't really been his friend. First there was the whole Quinn situation. Then there's the sex tape potential arrest. He wants Lauren, but maybe Ms. Pillsbury will have some ideas for him.
Of course, he quickly realizes that when it comes to sex, Ms. P is not a good choice for counseling. She might be good at other counseling, but not sex. He hides everything behind his mask, just like he's been doing for years, really, and doesn't even flinch at Quinn's comments.
He can't resist the comment about three chicks in his bedroom, even though the last time there were three girls in his bedroom, Quinn was pregnant with Beth, and Puck was banished to the couch. Quinn invited some friends over and he left the house. Now a typical Saturday night is trying to convince Lauren to go out on a date, which inevitably fails, especially since he can't afford anything.
He's pretty sure "Afternoon Delight" is about sex, not a dessert, but hey. He tells himself he's gonna change, that he's not gonna just worry about the mask, not entirely, and standing up in front of his friends wearing white pants and an awful turquoise shirt with a neckerchief? Well, seriously, who plans costumes like that?
When he gets home that afternoon, he picks up his phone and stares at it. One more thing, and it should probably be in person, but it's the price they've all had to pay. He double-checked Finn's phone during English to make sure he had the right number, and his finger hovers over the "OK" button.
He gets distracted thinking about how much he hates his phone, because he's wanted an iPhone for years and now almost everyone has one, or a Droid, or something awesome, and he's stuck with a basic plan with limited texting, because it's what his mom can afford. His mind drifts to the application that, against all odds, isn't yet in the trash, but is sitting on his desk.
He's good at mixing things. It's why he started the pool cleaning business, and it's why he had some money from it most of the year, because after Beth was born, he couldn't face going back to basically prostituting himself out. He was someone's dad, even if she wasn't his daughter anymore, and after the first day, he puked in the rosebushes and started calling the husbands to make appointments, doing most of his cleaning in the evenings and on the weekends, which meant his mom had to pay less for Hannah's day camp, at least.
Mixing coffee drinks can't be that different from mixing pool chemicals, right? Except that coffee is drinkable.
He shakes himself. Fuck. Distracted. He finally hits okay, and listens to the phone ring, wondering if voicemail would be better or worse.
"Hello?"
Definitely would have been better. His voice is tentative, like he doesn't recognize the number, and Puck supposes he probably doesn't.
"Kurt? It's Puck."
"Oh. Puck. Hello." Kurt sounds surprised, and Puck can't blame him for that, really. "Did Finn let his phone die again?"
"No. Uh, I mean, I dunno. I was calling to um. Talk to you."
"Oh." Now Kurt sounds even more surprised, and a little wary. "Is everything all right?"
"Yeah, uh. Listen, I probably should have done this in person or something, but you're over at preppyland now and all, and just." Puck frowns. "I'm sorry."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm sorry. For all the shit I pulled last year, and freshman year, and even what I said back in the fall about going to spy on the other schools, because that was sucky of me and I don't know what I was thinking. Which apparently I do that a lot, do things where I don't know what I was thinking."
Puck's rambling and he can't understand why he's telling Kurt so much. Maybe because Kurt's not at McKinley anymore, and he can't picture Kurt running to gossip with Finn.
"Puck…" Kurt's voice is gentle. "I forgave you for all of that. A long time ago. Do you really think I would sit and watch movies with you and Finn otherwise? Or anything else?"
Puck thinks for a minute, silent, then nods before remembering the other boy can't see him. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess. But I needed to say it."
"In that case, apology accepted." Kurt falls quiet for a moment, and Puck can hear another voice in the background before Kurt speaks again. "I'm sorry, I have to go, my dad needs me downstairs. I'll see you at Regionals, okay? If you're not over here before then."
"Okay. Yeah. Thanks, dude."
"You're welcome." Kurt's voice is still amused, but Puck thinks it's sincere, and he feels a little better when he hits end.
When Lauren confronts him the next day about Celibacy Club, he manages to stumble through an explanation. He does think he's a loser; he just hopes he's not a Lima loser.
Lauren seems to like the explanation, though, and when they walk out of the Celibacy Club meeting, she curls her fingers through his and asks if he can demonstrate his abilities with hickeys.
When Puck gets home that evening, he picks up a pen and the crumpled application, and starts to write.
Name: Noah Puckerman